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 AUTHOR
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 51
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile reviewPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

OP, There is a lot of info available online concerning OLD. Not everyone thinks alike. Not everyone is looking for the same results. Not everyone who joins ANY OLD site will be successful.Very few find their one and only quickly.

Thank you. I will read the article. I've actually read a ton of information concerning OLD and so much is contradictory that what I've read so far is actually worthless. I hate to say it, but the only consistent thing I've read is what the men here have said - things were better 5 years ago, and women say one thing on their profiles and mean another. I'm not looking for my one and only, I'm just trying to get dates and meet new single people.

Look at your profile the way a female would view it for the first time.

I have no idea how a female would view my profile, which is why I am in the forum. I have no clue how women think.

IF you believe your profile stands out in a good way. Leave it alone. IF not tweak it. IF you believe a female will view your pics and profile and be interested enough to contact you, leave it, as is. IF not, fix it!

What I believe doesn't really matter. I do believe that my profile stands out in a good way, and that my photos are unique, but by the lack of visits to my profile I can state that I must be mistaken.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 52
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 8/3/2015 5:07:32 PM

All we have to go on is what you've written and what a woman interprets it to mean, whether that was intentional or not on your side. There's all kinds of things that can be written that are code for something else.

I agree. There is entirely too much information in these dating profiles. 9/10 times the person is nothing like how you perceived them in their profile, and I'm sure it goes both ways. I'm sure we often discount the person who *would* be what we are looking for in real life because we over analyzed their profile. Personally, I'd love to see the age and photos go away.

Women looking for a relationship are not going to waste their time and click on profiles of men whose intent is looking for casual dating, no commitment, and want to date but nothing serious.

That seems presumptuous. There is a huge area of gray between NSA and Committed Monogamous relationships, so to say that meeting another human being and learning from the experience is a waste of time really demonstrates how closed minded many here are.

The only women clicking on those profiles are looking for one night stands and fvck buddies.

You say that like there is something wrong with that, or that it is a black and white issue. One of my longest and healthiest relationships started as a one-night-stand, so people and situations can change. Even people who are not looking for a relationship can end up in one, so we should all be a little more open minded about these things.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 53
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 8/3/2015 5:08:37 PM

I only joined this thread because of your account name.

*Bows down*

America wants....more cowbell.
AMerica needs.....more cowbell.


Thank you. I knew somebody would appreciate it.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 54
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 8/4/2015 2:27:38 PM
I've completely revamped my profile. I have done some serious editing, and reduced it to just the facts with a little subtle humor thrown in for good measure. I also removed the 'grumpy' photo that I thought looked 'introspective' or 'contemplative' and I added some text for the first date.

It's been nearly a week and so far I've only received 4 messages and 113 visitors. The 113 is not bad but the conversion rate of messages to views is an abysmal 3.5% which is why I still wonder if there is something wrong with my profile. Please see if there is anything I have missed.

I've also noticed that I cannot even send messages to over half of my visitors because they "only accept messages from certain people" which makes me wonder why they visited me in the first place. It's very frustrating.

Thank you
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 55
view profile
History
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 8/6/2015 1:02:38 AM
As you have proven, it is not what you write in your profile. Just like in real life, it boils down to attraction. I liked your first profile, thought it was full of personality. I am not being rude with this next statement, but visually, I would not be attracted to you.
Just because you have 113 views, you have no idea how they came to your profile. Could be from reading this post(as you can see, there are 681 views of this post to 54 comments) and clicking on your profile. Could be they thought you were someone else and clicked on your profile. There are all kinds of avenues on here that will lead people to your profile.

Good luck OP and don't let lack of contact get you down.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 56
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 1:55:57 PM
Hello again, everyone. I'm still looking for advice on how to improve my success rate with my profile. It's been nearly a year since I joined POF and I have yet to get a single date from the site. I have recently updated my entire profile and photos based on all the information I have collected here on the forum and on other online articles about online dating.

I am at a complete loss as to what I'm doing wrong. Over 100 women want to "meet me" but when I get a mutual meet me, or reciprocal favorite and send a message I get no response. In other cases the women who want to meet me or who have favorited me are too young for me to contact. I get 30 or more visitors a day, though many under the age that I am allowed to send messages to, but I still receive silence...

Is it possible that some language in my profile is turning women off? If so, I'd really love to know what it is.

Any constructive, and objective suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 2:43:37 PM

My career, which had involved quite a bit of travel, is currently in transition. I received a generous severance package from my former employer which is allowing me the freedom to rediscover my home town after being away for many years.

I am searching for new employment, but I'm allowing myself to be discerning rather than jumping right into anything that comes along. I expect to be gainfully employed by the Fall, if not sooner. I'm treating my time off as a sort of sabbatical, where I can actually take time to appreciate the things that are important to me, and perhaps gain an appreciation for some new ones.


That's a big chunk of your "about me" devoted to the fact that you're unemployed. If it were me, I'd avoid the subject entirely.


I've recently become interested in photography, and I'm always searching for models.


Always searching for models? If I wanted to date you I wouldn't be crazy about your constant search for models.


I've been mainly shooting nature and animals, with the few random portraits here and there. I have some examples posted for reference. haha


Yes, all very nice, but the reader doesn't care much about your photography skills. The pictures you've posted can go.


I also do "manly" things, like fix cars, hang drywall, drink beer, camp, fish, belch, fart, and grill - if you're into those kinds of things. haha


Belch, fart ... don't say that! And one "haha" is OK, I suppose, but three is a bit of overkill.


I'm all for being healthy at whatever weight, and I don't mean to imply that there is anything "wrong" with anyone's weight, I simply know that I prefer "average" and I'm pretty broad with my definition.


You prefer "average" but you consider yourself "a few extra pounds". That won't dovetail in the reader's mind.

Your hat and sunglasses picture isn't flattering and should be deleted. In three pictures you're wearing the same shirt. Main picture is ok, the rest look dispensable to me.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 58
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 3:17:41 PM

Posted By: NeedMore_Cowbell
Is it possible that some language in my profile is turning women off?






Class Clown


I'm newly single ...


...all that mold and nasty stuff growing on it.


belch, fart


a little day drinking by the pool



Yes, it is quite possible that your language you use
is making the decision to send you a message, a "no brainer."

Personally, I often fall back, when in doubt,
"Would Cary Grant use that word or phrase?"
as an indicator of polite and civil conversation.
Good luck!
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 59
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 3:19:16 PM
Somehow I missed the review last year.
Interesting read.
Not as easy as you thought.


About Michael
Hello, my name is Michael.
Echo.


I'm newly single following an amicable divorce and ready for a new chapter in my life.
You're not newly single anymore, and you already chose "divorced" up above.


My personality is playful, humorous, conversationalist, and thespian; sometimes adventurous, always curious, but mostly eclectic.
Strings of adjectives don't translate well here. Illustrate it.

Don't mention distasteful stuff like mold and nasty stuff, farts, belches.
It's about psychology here and you don't want to put across such negativity.

You can't use 2 ; in 1 sentence.
That paragraph is a little dreamy--make it solid.

Agree with Chromis about using 2 paragraphs to say you're unemployed.
If you have $ to support yourself now, wait for in person convo.


I've recently become interested in photography, and I'm always searching for models.
Translates to "Will you pose naked for me?" or "I'm on the hunt for beautiful young women".
Neither is good.


I'm all for being healthy at whatever weight, and I don't mean to imply that there is anything "wrong" with anyone's weight, I simply know that I prefer "average" and I'm pretty broad with my definition.
Since you will do 99% of 1st messages, just contact women you're interested in and leave this out.
Open to misinterpretation, anyway.

Read the writing tips up top in green; lots of good info there.

Not a fan of the collage.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 60
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 3:48:51 PM

You can't use 2 ; in 1 sentence.
That paragraph is a little dreamy--make it solid.


Semicolons to Separate List Items. Items in lists are usually separated with commas. However, if the list items themselves contain commas, then semicolons can be used as separators to outrank those commas.


Translates to "Will you pose naked for me?" or "I'm on the hunt for beautiful young women".
Neither is good.


How can you say that? Maybe it's my Asperger's, but If I wanted to say "Will you pose naked for me?" I would just come right out and say it - why mince words? I ALWAYS SAY WHAT I MEAN - EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN - THERE IS NO HIDDEN AGENDA - NO MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN. Ugh it is so frustrating when people try to tell me what I mean !!


Since you will do 99% of 1st messages, just contact women you're interested in and leave this out.


That's quite an assumption, and frankly a little sexist - This is the 21st Century, women can send out just as many messages as men can.

I'm going to remove all the "problem areas" that have been pointed out and then we'll see if it actually makes any difference.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 61
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 4:16:36 PM
I also find it quite odd that the majority of people who seem to reply in the profile review forums are the one's who are not actually looking for anything. Is it possible to hear from some women who are actually here to partake in the dating experience? Maybe a new user who hasn't become so jaded over time?

To be frank, I'm not at all interested in women who spend years on POF searching for the perfect man, I am interested in women who are willing to take a chance on a guy understanding that he's not perfect, maybe have a nice evening or day trip, and perhaps it evolves into something more over time, or maybe it doesn't. Do these women even exist here?

I'm beginning to think that my profile is not the problem at all. All the advice says to be different, stand out from the crowd, but the profile advice I receive here is, "Don't be unique, be dull and boring, don't use questionable words, don't try to be funny, don't showcase your talents or interests: put up the most boring photos you can, make your profile sound like every other profile out there, and then you'll be successful." (well, as successful as everyone else following the same advice, which from what I've heard is not very...)
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 62
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 4:19:58 PM

Posted By: NeedMore_Cowbell
I'm going to remove all the "problem areas" that have been pointed out and then we'll see if it actually makes any difference.




Out of the frying pan,
into the fire.






I'm ready for a new chapter in my life. I'm hoping to find someone.

I've recently become interested in photography. I've been mainly shooting nature and animals.

I also do "manly" things, like fix cars, hang drywall, drink beer, camp, fish, and grill - if you're into those kinds of things.




Since you recently removed your problem areas.
You only have a few lines of profile left?

Three lines (four if you include your whole "First Date" section)
ain't gonna cut it. Try for three paragraphs, not three sentences.



----------------------

Edit to add:

After reading your last little rant,
it appears you feel very much entitled.

That attitude will not help you to kiss the girl.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 63
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 4:57:35 PM
Well there is a huge difference between unique and odd. Suggesting a photo shoot at the Beach - no that needs to go.
You do have a lot of detail, imo too much.
Already says you are divorced.. using that as your opener will make some think you are freshly divorced and walking wounded. Remove that
You did ask for help, people are trying to help however you seem to think you already have a stellar profile so I'm at a loss.
You have to understand women ( and Men) don't have to " take a chance" when it comes to dating.
It could be tightened up, remove fluff ( and for heavens sake remove dating as an Interest - yea that makes you sound like relationship material :/
But it is yours to do with as you wish - sorry the hot young ones aren't here helping.. sheesh
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 64
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 5:46:25 PM

Well there is a huge difference between unique and odd. Suggesting a photo shoot at the Beach - no that needs to go.
It sounds like something I would do with my girlfriend, which is what I'm searching for - a girlfriend.


Already says you are divorced.. using that as your opener will make some think you are freshly divorced and walking wounded.
I think you missed the key elements - final and amicable = really single (not separated) and no ex-wife drama. I cannot tell you how many women's profiles state "no cheaters, divorce must be final, no ex-wife drama" so I just put it in there to address all that up front. It also explains *why* I am on a dating site to begin with, for context. And I am freshly divorced, but certainly not walking wounded.


You did ask for help, people are trying to help however you seem to think you already have a stellar profile so I'm at a loss.
I did ask for help, but I'm not getting the help I am asking for. I'm trying to solicit objective advice, but I only get subjective advice. The only way to turn that subjective data into objective data is get a sample size greater than 3. If 1,000 women looked at my profile and only 10% thought it was good, but those were the 10% I was interested in, then I'd call it a good profile. If 100% thought it was bad, then perhaps there is a problem I need to fix. But 100% of a sample of less than 10 is statistically meaningless, which is why I was asking where are the people who are actually invested in the success of this process - the one's actually looking for dates.

RE: stellar profile -- I've seen many profiles here (probably over 5,000), most of them horrible, both men and women, and obviously something must be working because people keep using OLD, but I am at a loss to understand the issue I am having. My profile is pretty sound grammatically, which already puts it in about the top 10% of profiles from what I've seen (yes, I read men's profiles to size up the competition). My photos are not selfies, I have clean clothes on, so that should up my score a little more. I'm not an alcoholic, drug addict, or destitute. I try not to be sexist. I'm no movie star, but I'm not Lyle Lovett, either. From a strictly relative basis, compared to the other profiles I have seen on this site, mine is a gem - so why no interest? That is the information I am asking for. The information I receive is "change your photos, remove this or that," and those may indeed be good suggestions, but it still does not answer the larger question. It's interesting to note that when women come to the forum for profile advice, there is an outpouring of support for them, I've seen people provide complete re-writes of entire paragraphs that could be copied and pasted verbatim into the user's profile. I can't help but feel there is a gender bias even here in the forum. At the end of the day, we are all here for the same thing - to find someone to spend time with, and I'm asking for assistance with that.


You have to understand women ( and Men) don't have to " take a chance" when it comes to dating.
Nobody *has* to do anything, but getting dates is far more efficient and productive if everyone cooperates - I think they taught us about cooperation in Kindergarten. When people work together the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. In my mind, dating should not be an adversarial process - it should be fun and exciting, full of new opportunities and experiences. Why would I ever want to start a relationship with someone who starts out adversarial? An ability to compromise is one of the keys to a successful relationship, if people cannot even compromise on the most trivial things, how can they be expected to succeed in a relationship?


and for heavens sake remove dating as an Interest
I personally like the act of dating, and right now I'm not in a committed relationship, so it shouldn't have any bearing on anything. I have a friend (female) who loves to date, she dates 3 or 4 times a week - she uses OLD to find guys to date - that's how I met her, oddly enough. When I am in a relationship, I will probably continue to "date" my significant other, because I enjoy going out on dates. But, if it "means" something else here I should probably remove it.


sorry the hot young ones aren't here helping.. sheesh
I said 35-40... are those supposed to be the "hot, young ones?"
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 65
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 6:00:57 PM
You are 48, doubtful too many 35 yr olds want to date you - nothing to do with you, their preference
You really aren't getting what people are putting down
Suggesting a photo shoot to a stranger is creepy. When ( and if) you click then it is acceptable.
Done here, good luck
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 66
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 6:11:54 PM

You really aren't getting what people are putting down

That's my entire point, it's like we're speaking different languages. The disconnect goes both ways because I too am unable to articulate properly.

I guess I'm done, too.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 67
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 7:23:24 PM
I learned to speak Aspie during my first marriage. It was difficult but it has helped me in a lot of other things.

Your profile now is really MUCH improved. Great main photo, lots of varied Interests.

I'd love to have seen a line about the kids - how many, how old, how often. That's all your viewer wants/needs to know.

There are a couple of lines that come across as condescending - something about books we'd never heard of and implying your viewer would be a downer about trying new foods. That's negative phrasing and I'm sure you could rewrite that information in a less patronizing tone.

Ignore the 'meet me's'. Focus on searching on your own and introducing yourself with short, specific, light humoured introductions.

The majority of us that have posted here are not looking because this site already worked for us. We can tell you how we did it and what we looked for but it's a bit different now with everyone and their dog having an app for entertainment and getting attention. It's too bad, really, that there are so many time-wasters on here now.

Do have patience and continue your search in real life, too, of course.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 68
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 8:08:37 PM

There are a couple of lines that come across as condescending - something about books we'd never heard of and implying your viewer would be a downer about trying new foods. That's negative phrasing and I'm sure you could rewrite that information in a less patronizing tone.


Maybe you can translate to Aspie for me. People say all the time, "I'm from a little town in the middle of nowhere that you've probably never heard of" all the time, and unless the name of the town is akin to Los Angeles or New York, it would not be condescending, so why is referencing a book that literally 95% of the population has never heard of considered condescending? It's not like I expect anyone to have read the book, and for good reason -- it's literally about the theory and operation of the Domain Naming Service (DNS) that everyone uses on the Internet -- it's like a textbook. I'm not arguing with your point, I'm just trying to understand why one is socially acceptable, and the other is insulting.

The food thing, I suppose if you were looking for an excuse to be insulted then ... OMG, I think I just got it. What you are telling me is that common sense does not exist here, malice is always assumed even when presented with overwhelming evidence that ignorance would be more likely. It's no wonder I don't get along here, I've never understood political correctness -- it's just not in my wiring,

On that revelation, I think I will sign off and sleep on it. Thank you @Forums_only
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 69
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 8:19:37 PM

I'd love to have seen a line about the kids - how many, how old, how often. That's all your viewer wants/needs to know.


Call me overprotective, but my children, their ages, and my visitation schedule is not something I want made public. If someone asks, I will tell them, but giving information about my children to complete strangers is something that I am not comfortable with. Anyone I date will not have to worry about meeting my kids for at least 6 months, when the relationship has proven itself to be long-term.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 70
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 8:40:56 PM
I have to agree that the category of wanting nothing serious does sound to women like you want no strings attached sex. For myself, that's an immediate turn off, and I will go a step further and say that is a turn off for pretty much any woman with self regard and a moral compass. If a guy can't handle my naked soul, why would I ever give him my naked body? Giving out sex with no commitment investment in return is essentially like being a free prostitute... Why expose myself to disease or pregnancy for only a possible orgasm when I can give myself a certain one without the risks? I know this stuff sounds harsh, but this IS how many women think.

Shirtless photo for me is kinda peacocky, its a reverberation of the above, its overtly sexual and shows a willingness to get naked immediately, granted, that position is less common among women then the one I shared above. I am the first to admit some women DO appreciate a shirtless photo.

I know you were kinda miffed by the other posters who pointed this stuff out earlier. But really, if you are looking for NSA a good place for that is adult friend finder or fetlife. Many women here want actual relationships, and so you might find this a fruitless endeavor
 halcyonskies
Joined: 11/13/2014
Msg: 71
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 9:34:36 PM
Dear Michael / Cowbell.

I think your profile is fine as are many of your photos.

My concerns (if we were in the same demographic) is that you say you have children, your taste in movies is the genre of young children) and you have photos of a woman and children in your profile.

This would make me think that the woman is your girlfriend? / ex? and you are exposing young children on an adult dating site?.
Despite your protestations on here wanting to keep their information secret?
Please remove photos of people who are not you from your profile.
The ladies are interested in you.

And your gorgeous dog..... WOOF!!!
Try a photo of you and your dog both with a huge smile as your main.

I think you are handsome and have a lovely smile.
There are women on here who may be happy to have no strings dating with a man who has young children and potentially limited time.
These women may be in exactly the same situation.

Or you can attract ladies who also are dog people.
Hence I agree it is a good idea to make your situation known to advertise to your target audience.


________________________

To me your current profile shows a handsome, happy, witty man with young children and a great dog who is wanting to meet ladies but does not want a relationship.

If this is the truth then you have done well.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 72
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 9:45:21 PM
(by the time you read this) Good morning!

"you've probably never heard of.. " when used in the way you open the sentence comes off as patronising. You really never know what someone else enjoys reading and when you assume something it can be read by the viewer as "you're probably too dumb to know this...". A little town 'you've never heard of' is more of a cliche and generally less irritating in that it's been used for years to refer to very small towns across the Country. For some people coming from a very small town is almost like a badge of honour, or a competition (in a fun way) to see whose town is smaller. Instead of the phrasing, why not simply say you enjoy wrapping your mind around the intricacies of the theory and operation of the (networking/whatever) systems like some people enjoy solving Sudoku? Or something like that. (My son likes to do programming - it relaxes him)

The phrasing in the food line gives the impression you expect your viewer to be a fussy eater. In this day and age where everyone thinks they're a 'Foodie', more people are open to trying new things. Instead - why not simply say you enjoy all types of cuisines, and even something like (weirdest food you ever tried)? It says the same thing and is more inviting to your viewer, more likely they will engage or relate to something like that.

When women get literally dozens of messages a day/week, they can and do discount certain profiles if they don't feel there is enough information. Children are a major point of matching. I had a teenager at home when I was looking and there was no way I wanted to get involved with someone with smaller kids. If nothing was said in the profile but they had answered "Yes" to the kids question, I would wonder if they had toddlers or teens, full time or living across the Country with their custodial parent. I completely agree with not introducing every date to your kids - that's a privilege to be earned. Still - many women are looking to match with men who have kid(s) in the same age range so they could envision a compatible grouping in the future. It works to your advantage to simply state how many/how old/how often. No more than that. They will not randomly ask.

Unfortunately many women (and men) have had bad experiences and it does cloud their impressions on the profiles they are reading. They can only go by the words chosen, and yes, it's difficult to convey humour and ideas for some people. Your profile has lots of good information that can be used to start conversations, it's not necessarily 'political correctness', it's just a matter of social conversational awareness. I think ultimately this can work for you.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 73
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 9:53:41 PM

the category of wanting nothing serious does sound to women like you want no strings attached sex.


I think you are confusing "dating, but nothing serious" with "casual / no commitment" they are completely different. However, this is irrelevant since my profile says "looking for a relationship" because I am looking, just not finding.
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 74
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 10:28:10 PM

This would make me think that the woman is your girlfriend? / ex? and you are exposing young children on an adult dating site?.
Despite your protestations on here wanting to keep their information secret?


I suppose it is a valid assumption, but the people in the photo could be anyone. The woman is actually my best friend and pretty much the only person who will model for me. I have removed those photos.

Thanks
 NeedMore_Cowbell
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 75
Newly divorced trying online dating - profile review
Posted: 6/30/2016 10:40:41 PM

Children are a major point of matching. I had a teenager at home when I was looking and there was no way I wanted to get involved with someone with smaller kids.


In my case, I think that if a woman has kids that is going to be a whole other discussion... I'm not opposed to dating someone with kids, but it would not be my first choice - I have enough trouble with the ones I have already. lol
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