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 fordssucklol
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 176
What are men in their 40's looking forPage 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I'm looking for love,
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 177
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What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/20/2015 4:06:22 PM

"down to earth" is such a hackneyed phrase.

Ahh, yes. Isn't it? Just like a "normal" or "real" man or woman. Ask 10 people what that means, and you might get up to 10 crazily different explanations.

I'm looking for love

Ahh, yes. Too bad it's not that simple. Ask 10 people what they think love is, and you'll not only get possibly 10 different ideas which may be in conflict with each other, but you'll hear some really f-cked up ideas at that.
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 178
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/20/2015 4:17:36 PM

Ask 10 people what they think love is, and you'll not only get possibly 10 different ideas which may be in conflict with each other, but you'll hear some really f-cked up ideas at that.


True but if you were to translate them accurately , more than a couple of them would be " make me happy and keep me happy or else "
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 179
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/20/2015 9:45:33 PM
^^^ some men can be really smart.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 180
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:01:44 AM

... " make me happy and keep me happy or else "


This is what people should be saying in their wedding vows, since it's more to the point and more truthful than the standard canned stuff people are trained to recite at their wedding, which usually means sweet fk all in the long run. They should also make a vow to never join the Ashley Madison site.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 181
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What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/28/2015 9:18:41 PM

What are men in their 40's looking for

Same thing men of almost any age are looking for Sex

Go out on lots of dates, interview many men. Walk in with eyes wide open. Wait a little while before having sex. You will see someone's true colors after a while.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 182
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/28/2015 11:06:12 PM
They're looking for these last two fakes I pointed out today. ATM yup. Yum. *snicker*
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 183
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/29/2015 8:38:25 AM
When you can't even get ONE lousy date anymore, it's kind of hard to even know exactly what to want.
------------------------
I'll say this - there's nothing worse than a semi-educated woman who thinks their education 'means' something. Maybe that's the huge problem with Minnesota - everyone has a degree in something. Doesn't matter if it's beauty college or a doctorate in physics - people assume way too much authority because that paper empowers them to make decisions that have absolutely nothing to do with that field of study. Turns people into conceited and ignorant know-it-alls.

I'm sure there are plenty of men guilty of the same thing. I have a bachelor's degree for surviving five years of college, but I also have the humility to realize that's pretty much all it is - a certificate of survival.

I don't EVER poo-poo education - if I meet a mom going back to school for a degree, I wholeheartedly encourage it - what I can't stand is people that believe they can be mind readers and know everything there is to now about life from just a sliver of experience or education. Your degree allows you to do several things, opens up doors - but it doesn't give you the right to be arrogant or self-righteous.

The people that 'get it' are the ones with fancy engineering degrees that decided a long time ago they were happier fixing up cars or running a bulldozer on a construction site. People that could easily be making 3-5 times more as a medical tech at a hospital, but decided decorating wedding cakes or doing wedding photo shoots is what they really love. THEY are the ones with their "Eyes Wide Open". THEY know better than to judge people only by their covers.

That kind of stuff cannot be found by reading a dating profile or a few photos. It just can't. You need to know the person to understand if that is indeed where they are coming from. That's why I cannot claim to "know" what I want from just the superficial tool of an online site. People that 'get it' a lot of times don't even go NEAR these sites because of how shallow and cheap and superficial people are in here. You can honestly get more information out of a real human being in a five minute speed date than you get from weeks of correspondence in here.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 184
What's everyone over 40's looking for
Posted: 8/29/2015 8:56:24 AM
let's be blunt:

people with bad attitudes, tend not to have someone who loves that attitude. they tend to be available. If there was something that drew them out of the singles' pool, there might not be so many of them available. Those are just the odds we all have to fight.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 185
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/29/2015 9:22:25 AM

I'll say this - there's nothing worse than a semi-educated woman who thinks their education 'means' something.


Really? That's the worst thing?

What do you even mean by "semi-educated"? Anything less than a PhD?


The people that 'get it' are the ones with fancy engineering degrees that decided a long time ago they were happier fixing up cars or running a bulldozer on a construction site.


I think the ones who really get it are the ones who get a "fancy" engineering degree, and go on to love engineering. Or people who get a degree in History and Education, and go on to be happy and effective History teachers, or people who get a Law degree and live and breathe Law.


People that could easily be making 3-5 times more as a medical tech at a hospital, but decided decorating wedding cakes or doing wedding photo shoots is what they really love. THEY are the ones with their "Eyes Wide Open". THEY know better than to judge people only by their covers.


Making money and doing what makes you happy are not mutually exclusive.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 186
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:07:50 PM

Making money and doing what makes you happy are not mutually exclusive.

I never said they were. Besides, an uneducated guy running a bulldozer on a construction crew can make 3-4X what a kid with a bachelor of arts degree can make. I've known people with law degrees that decided to get into accounting and crunching numbers and made more than they EVER did as a legal beagle. It's about finding your passion, doing what you love. Some are never happy and whine and criticize and throw their own importance around like a kid tosses his teddy bear during a temper tantrum. Education and feelings of self-entitlement are not mutually exclusive, either.

What I mean by semi-educated is someone who may possess the knowledge and ability to get a degree, but believes they are entitled to judge practically ANYthing with the same authority. Being worldly is not about tossing your weight and opinions around, it's being able to listen and understand and remember and comprehend how the rest of the world works and thinks, and understanding the humility of how miserably minor is one person's opinion in a world of opinions.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 187
What's everyone in their 40's looking for
Posted: 8/29/2015 8:56:44 PM
One of my former's boss' complaints was, "a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing." Software would screw up on his day off, and instead of being called up to dial in and fix it, someone would think they knew enough to be the hero of the day. And what sometimes would happen, they'd make it worse and not understand why so my boss would then have two things to try to diagnose.

Sometimes, education is power, and like most power, it really needs a good dash of humility to temper it. sometimes its better to "Think I know" than to be "sure I know!"

appropo of nothing, I'm healing up a twisted ankle and caught the last part of some rom-dram movie from the 1980's. Fellow has a crush on gal who doesn't recognize him. He steals a red Mercedes (Someone must have seen this movie) and ends up at a party with her, lying that he's in finance like she is. NOW she pays attention to him. So now she can see his personality, and likes him. and they hop onto a trampoline and get it on.

he feels guilty, tells her she lied. Now, before this, she mentioned hating her job, hating the superficiality, using her cleavage to get her boss's attention, etc. so when he confesses what he lied about, she assumes he's like everyone she surrounds herself with--a fake, out to only get what they want. she's used to manipulation in her world, so she assumes he's just another financial wizard just out to get into her pants.

unfortunately, he's too blinded by love to point out...she hates her job. she hates this superficial world she's put her own self into. but she won't leave it. so how "Real" is she?

some people do idiot things b/c...they are idiots. they do thoughtless things b/c...they are thoughtless. some people are single b/c...they aren't worth being coupled up. Like the graffiti in the bar bathroom says, "no matter how hot they look, they're here b/c someone finally got sick of their #$!"
 Rocketboy91
Joined: 9/8/2015
Msg: 188
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 9/12/2015 3:04:26 AM
Hello everyone,
I have been on this site off and on for 6 years and still can't figure out what men are really looking for in a relationship. I have been very honest in my profile and have been told, that I am even better in person then what my profile reveals. I am a woman who has all her little ducks in a row, except for finding the right man. If anyone has some advice, it would be welcomed.

What are men in their 40s looking for? I hate to break it to you hone, and this coming from a guy trying to find a man, that men in their 40s are looking for the same things as men in their 20s and 30s: One night stands and/or flakeouts. Men are pigs and a waste of time, especially men around my age. They're not honest like you and I. All they care about is going out to the clubs and getting drunk and wasted. They might be into that sort of thing but not me.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 189
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 9/12/2015 3:39:39 AM

I have been very honest in my profile and have been told, that I am even better in person then what my profile reveals.


It's often been a yellow flag for me when someone proclaims how honest they are.

The reason you always wear sunglasses:


I'm visually impaired so no I can't drive, and yes I would need my date to handle that one because my visual impairment makes it challenging to cross streets myself, and I don't want to spend money taking public transportation and cabs to go out on a date with someone!


That seems like a big deal to me, but you don't mention it in your profile. I get that it will limit your prospects, and likely you hate to admit a handicap, but those that are left will be a better match.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 190
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 9/12/2015 7:41:03 AM

I'm visually impaired so no I can't drive, and yes I would need my date to handle that one because my visual impairment makes it challenging to cross streets myself, and I don't want to spend money taking public transportation and cabs to go out on a date with someone!


I can't find this quote or who said it in this thread, but anyway...


I don't want to spend money taking public transportation and cabs to go out on a date with someone!


But you are okay shifting the burden of paying for your transportation to your date? Driving isn't free you know!

I assume you pay for your public transportation or cabs when going to work or doing other things that are important to you. If meeting someone is important to you, why would you be unwilling to pay for a bus back and forth to Starbucks, for goodness sake?

Of course a person might offer to transport you, just to be nice, but the fact that you expect it is a major turn off IMHO.
 Rocketboy91
Joined: 9/8/2015
Msg: 191
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 10/11/2015 7:11:42 PM
Of course a person might offer to transport you, just to be nice, but the fact that you expect it is a major turn off IMHO.

Being the fact that I expect my date to have a car and that's the only really huge thing I expect from my date when it comes to taking care of me, I certainly don't think I'm expecting too much. I also don't think that's a turn off, I think that is totally reasonable. Now if you were to tell me that expecting my date to take care of me financially, pay my bills and buy me food or clothes is expecting too much and that it was a turn off, that I can totally agree with. If you want to talk about people expecting too much of their dates you might want to look at the gold diggers.

I pay my own bills and take perfectly good care of myself, the least my date can do is to have a car so we can go places together so that I don't have to pay my way all the time. Also you mention paying my transportation to go to and from work, that's because I half to, not because I want to. Now for the first time, I might pay my way to met up somewhere with someone, but if I have to keep doing that again and again and again well that will definitely annoy the crap out of me. And no, I don't expect my date to pay for my meal, which is why I always have money on me just in case. You might think I'm a spoiled brat and to me that's just whatever. If expecting a potential partner to have a car is such a turn off to you, well why would I want to date someone like you anyway?
 Rocketboy91
Joined: 9/8/2015
Msg: 192
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 10/11/2015 7:15:19 PM
The fact that I pay my own rent, phone bills, food and clothes and any other bills I may have all on my own and have my own place, I already have a burden as it is. If I constantly have to pay my transportation to meet up with someone again and again and again and again why would I want to be with someone like that?
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 193
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History
This your opinion and stating this doesn't increase your value, IMHO.
Posted: 10/13/2015 6:18:07 AM
For me,

Sex will NOT get or keep me.

The way I see it, for A LOT of women, that's pretty much all they have to offer. And, that is precisely why they mention it so much, ("He's only after one thing.", "Not here for a one night stand.", Woo, woo.) They're one trick ponies. Once they play their "sex" card, there is NOTHING else.

If I had to boil it down to a single thing, it would be that I better not ever get the thought, feeling, or impression that I am working harder at the relationship than you are, because if I do, "That's ballgame."

I like an attractive woman as much, or more than the next man, but the operative question which would perplex the hell out of a woman (in real-time), not on the Internet where she would have time to formulate an answer is, "Aside from your appearance (sex), why should a man (that you're interested in), want to get to know YOU?"

Female Ralph Kramden: "Well, I uh, I'm a good person, I can cook, uh, ummm, uh. Humina, humina, humina.............................."
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 194
This your opinion and stating this doesn't increase your value, IMHO.
Posted: 10/13/2015 8:15:30 AM

The way I see it, for A LOT of women, that's pretty much all they have to offer. And, that is precisely why they mention it so much, ("He's only after one thing.", "Not here for a one night stand.", Woo, woo.) They're one trick ponies. Once they play their "sex" card, there is NOTHING else.


This a kind of an odd way to describe a relationship. Sounds more like a FWB scenario to me.


If I had to boil it down to a single thing, it would be that I better not ever get the thought, feeling, or impression that I am working harder at the relationship than you are, because if I do, "That's ballgame."


That's pretty much the demise of most relationships isn't it?

Problem I see with that is it boils down to your perception. What if they see you as the one not "working" at the relationship? Can they kick you to the curb as well? ymmv :/
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 195
This your opinion and stating this doesn't increase your value, IMHO.
Posted: 10/13/2015 8:40:40 AM


If I had to boil it down to a single thing, it would be that I better not ever get the thought, feeling, or impression that I am working harder at the relationship than you are, because if I do, "That's ballgame."


That's pretty much the demise of most relationships isn't it?

Problem I see with that is it boils down to your perception. What if they see you as the one not "working" at the relationship? Can they kick you to the curb as well? ymmv :


I agree with CC.
A relationship is what you put into it. If you are in a relationship and have to be constantly checking that you feel that you're working harder and not getting anything in return, the relationship is done. Whatever weird thing you feel, she's feeling it.

To me sex IS important to the relationship. But so is doing things for each other. Sometimes washing dishes and cleaning the kitchen when she least expected is the most erotic thing you can do for a woman.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 10/8/2015
Msg: 196
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 10/13/2015 8:45:28 AM

Rocketboy91 :
The fact that I pay my own rent, phone bills, food and clothes and any other bills I may have all on my own and have my own place, I already have a burden as it is. If I constantly have to pay my transportation to meet up with someone again and again and again and again why would I want to be with someone like that?


Maybe when you make it in the music industry you could have a chauffeur to drive you around. In the meantime, either you get yourself your own wheels, or pay public transportation as most of us earthlings do.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 197
This your opinion and stating this doesn't increase your value, IMHO.
Posted: 10/13/2015 8:56:44 AM

If I had to boil it down to a single thing, it would be that I better not ever get the thought, feeling, or impression that I am working harder at the relationship than you are, because if I do, "That's ballgame."


That sounds too much like keeping a score card, and someone dumping you because they expect or ask you to jump through hoops A to Z, and you skipped out on Z. I think a better term is compromise. which is a foreign concept to a lot of people-especially to people who grew up as a spoiled brat who got anything and everything they demanded without hesitation, and expect the same lifestyle in relationships (the Kardashian curse-lol). But compromising won't work if one feels they're giving up too much and resents it, and/or feels the other person must give up something in return, and it becomes a game of "who will win the battle of giving up the least and get their way?"
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 198
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History
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 10/13/2015 2:51:09 PM
I was VERY careful
to start out my answer with the words, "FOR ME".

To my knowledge, I have never been cheated on by a woman.

No woman that I have been in a "relationship" with, has ever initiated a break up with me.

A LOT of dates have said, "Kick FN rocks NikonGuy (and fall on something sharp while you're at it).
But,
NOT an ex-wife or girlfriend.

I come on here and type a lot of &$#^, but IRL, any woman who gives me one, more often than not, get's two (or more) in return.

C'mon, can't we be 'real' here for a minute?

We're all friends, right?

At least on the surface, where it counts.

Oh YES, let there be absolutely NO DOUBT, I most definitely, "Keep score".

Almost everybody does. You do at school, at work, and in your relationships.

That's what all the, "I emptied the dishwasher the last 3 times.", "You brought the car back with no gas.", "I do ALL the housework." "I get up EVERY night to feed the baby." stuff is about.

And the reality is........................it causes resentment.

"Resentment" is like cancer to a relationship; doesn't matter whether it's a business partner, a colleague, your boss, or your S/O.

Anybody who doesn't "keep score" is lying, naive, or a Saint.

The "cosmic ledger" is very real.

Yes, as an earlier poster wrote, (something to the effect), 'The demise of most relationships comes down to one party feeling like they're doing the 'heavy lifting.'

I concur.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 199
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What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 10/13/2015 3:10:19 PM

Posted by Rocketboy91:
The fact that I pay my own rent, phone bills, food and clothes and any other bills I may have all on my own and have my own place, I already have a burden as it is. If I constantly have to pay my transportation to meet up with someone again and again and again and again why would I want to be with someone like that?


Lets be perfectly Honest about it..... You wouldn't Date Someone, that was, Just like Yourself.......
Why would someone else want to Date someone, that they have to Pay all His/Her Transportation Costs?

If I had to always cover the Transportation Costs of My Date, then they better step up & cover some other part of the Dating Costs......
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 200
What are men in their 40's looking for
Posted: 10/13/2015 3:11:56 PM

Oh YES, let there be absolutely NO DOUBT, I most definitely, "Keep score".


Not condusive to a healthy relationship.

Experience has taught me to just do what needs to be done, regardless of "who's turn or who's job".

Blessed be the lost.

Signed Saint Rick ;)
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