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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > Psychology behind not replying?      Home login  
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 EldoraDorado
Joined: 10/17/2013
Msg: 25
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Psychology behind not replying?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Haha!

Actually, off dating sites I find this one hard. A guy who never messaged me unless I did him. I asked him outright if he found me boring/annoying his reply was something like 'No I find your messages interesting actually, my fingers are just too fat to type my keys so I just read messages and hardly reply' ... WTF does that translate as... half of our conversations were me talking telling him I had feelings for him and him just reading and his replies mainly consisted of ' I don't really know what you want me to say or do to help you' ... then the occasional lie, I'm thinking now maybe he just enjoyed the drama and attention.

I think its pretty obvious when your on a dating site though what being ignored means, which makes it easier...
 EldoraDorado
Joined: 10/17/2013
Msg: 26
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:20:02 PM
billybonds, I tried sending you a message but it wont let me and it won't even tell me why you wont accept messages from me.. I want to know more about your writing thats all and if you write professionally and where I can read it etc :'(
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 1/19/2015
Msg: 27
Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 9/22/2015 9:47:31 AM
Seems like no reply is pretty obvious to most. Tho I happen to get several angry nasty messages from some when I don't reply, then finally have to block them. Why do some men seem think that is acceptable?
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 1/19/2015
Msg: 28
Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 9/22/2015 1:50:57 PM
Good point Lord, and you're right often times the "thanks but no thanks" type responses generate a rather defensive "I'm not good enough for you??" type of response back.
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 31
Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 9/30/2015 2:15:56 PM
There' an awful lot of 'damaged goods' on internet sites (male & female).
I've had meetings with manic depressives, man-haters, psycho-medical cases,
the skint / overweight / and the downright desperate......
I'm betting that ladies get the same inspiring mix.
I'm using real-life so much more nowdays!!

 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 32
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 10/1/2015 9:00:09 PM
I`ve also , over time, fallen back onto the no reply is a reply etc, one woman sent me mails for about 2 or 3 nights before I blocked her hahahahaha,

I`m fast losing patience with this site now...I`ll give it another 5 or 6 years, and that's it , I`m off !! :O)
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 33
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 10/2/2015 9:19:54 AM
meeeeoooow :-)

sorry i have an odd sense of humour!

i know of 2 possibly 3 profiles that you would need a ouija board to get a reply.
there have been plenty that just abandon profiles as well.

so no reply is not always a reply.

the way i look at it is, i put a profile up on what at the time was being sold as a social networking/dating site inviting messages.
if someone accepts that invitation they deserve a reply.
i just accept not everyone will see it that way, and i'm not surprised knowing what answers some have got back.

but i see no reason why the bride of frankenstein should be any less deserving of a civil reply than miss world or playgirl of the month.

like has been said many times before, what you write can say more about you than anyone else, perhaps that also goes for what you don't write :-)
 Dani1002
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 34
Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 10/13/2015 3:20:46 AM
God , the answer is so easy -they re not interesting there is many reasons , tones of them , they think they are out of their level mainly either by your look or what you wrote in their profile or what you wrote in your message . now days when there is no chat option here many men try to encourage you in messge-like-a -chat thing and they get angry if you don't respond in nanoseconds .
 mikey7477
Joined: 9/11/2015
Msg: 35
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 10/15/2015 4:01:05 PM
average looking women and below,,get lots of messages,,but in the real world,that wont happen,,the game is,,attention,without end,here,,they can be demi moore,,,all these messages,from all these men,,who would want that to end,,who would not be flattered,,,or addicted, its a self esteem builder,and a job thats never finished,just as long as the chase never ends,
 cormdizzle824
Joined: 8/15/2015
Msg: 36
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 11/11/2015 4:32:38 PM
Because women most women on dating sites are insatiable. They have a plethora of superficial fish to pick from.. Duhh
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 37
Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 11/12/2015 11:24:11 AM
That's what I need (I think) - an insatiable woman..........

 skiptalker
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 38
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 11/14/2015 9:17:20 AM
you do remind me of a thunderbird puppet....
 BoardGamerGeek
Joined: 7/5/2015
Msg: 39
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/23/2015 4:02:54 PM
It's pretty accurate though. Seriously I mean if you get a dodgy response back then you can do two things.

(1) Block the user so he can't contact you again
(2) Be happy that you were correct in that he was a dodgy person and you saved yourself a massive bother.

Not exactly a massive hassle is it? But nope, after we do all the work and send a long charming message out picking up on shared interests and showing actual interest in what you do, we get jack. Not even a subtle decline email, no explanation, nothing. We're just left there to wonder what it was they had such a problem with and given that we pick up on shared interests when we do these things it basically leaves us to come to the conclusion that looks wise, we don't fit the bill (because the requirements from girls perspectives are incredibly nitpicky) and that doesn't do well for some people's self esteem.

There's no excuse for pure lazyness in a world where online communication is quick, easy and managaeble.
 KadeJones101
Joined: 6/24/2015
Msg: 40
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/25/2015 10:58:35 AM
I've not had any message sent to me longer than "Hi hon, how are you". I rarely answer unless i think there's a possible siutability. Reason being that when i have done in the past, they tend to take ages to answer and never ask you anything about your profile. It all gets to be a bit one sided and hard work.

I've answered in the past but the result was that they just disappeared mid-conversation, only to come back the next day to carry on as if nothing's happened. Has this happened to any other guys? When asked, she said she fell asleep - but this was not after a long conversation where i even had a chance to bore her to death. No, we'd had just 3 or 4 pleasantry exchanges each to begin. This has happened since in similar circumstances.

This basically says to me that this person is having multiple chats, hasn't read the profile then forgot who they were talking to as they're deciding their best option. So yes, of course i would respond to anyone who took the time to write something interesting or ask me a proper question regarding my profile - even if it's to say "thank you." - At least they're interested. But I'm not interested in being in a reserve team for someone who needs entertaining or a confidence boost in a chat room.
 duracell_bunny_one
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 41
Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/26/2015 8:48:36 AM
'I promise I will reply to all sane & sensible women with their picture displayed.....fair ?
I will NOT reply to any 'female' who seems to be unwilling to post a pic........
....or who lives at the other end of the Country.....'

Cut 'n' paste from my current profile....
guess what.......no messages

Now that's a surprise.

 Graffiti_Poet
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 42
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/26/2015 12:22:07 PM
I'm probably with lil panther (message #11) on this one. Not wanting to hurt or offend people is likely to be one of the biggest considerations for many. People come on here looking for comfort & affection and by and large wish everyone else on here, boy or girl, every success in finding the same things they themselves are looking for. In general, most folks are pleased for anyone who succeeds.

It is difficult, and a little bit risky, to write back to everyone who sends a message knowing how to say no without feeling you have added to their sadness a little.

I've never had to write a 'thanks but no thanks' message as I write back to every single message I get, many of which still come to me from people I first chatted to on here a number of years ago.

As a professional writer, my advice would be to write back saying thanks for your message but I am currently talking to someone on here and we are planning a second date. Tell them you are excited by that. That way the recipient will be happy for you and not feel rejected, just unlucky. Most people cope better with that.

HTH GP
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 43
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/26/2015 12:50:04 PM
"As a professional writer my advice would be to write back saying thanks for your message but I am currently talking to someone on here and we are talking about having a second date. Tell them you are excited by that. "

professional bullshitter more like!

"That way the recipient will be happy for you and not feel rejected, just unlucky. Most people would cope better with that."

whats the weather like in cloud cuckoo land?
most would wonder why they made no note on their profile etc, such lies only convince folk that some are carrying on fishing in the hope of getting a better catch.

not wanting to hurt or offend is an excuse not to get nasty replies, but it will not stop that! if that happens just block and forget!

when i first signed up i used to get replies, sorry i mean rejections, i would thank them for their reply and wish them all the best in their search and that was usually it, one wrote back to thank me for my very nice reply.
at the time i was new to all this and never knew why, i found out quite soon though.
 Graffiti_Poet
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 44
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/26/2015 1:26:06 PM

professional bullshitter more like!


How very dare you?, hahahaha,

However you chose to describe my 'way' with words, such as it is, you have to concede it would be far harder to write a nasty message to someone who just told you they had possibly found "The One". You would have to be quite a bitter person to do that methinks......GP
 Hostess68
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 45
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 12/26/2015 1:41:05 PM
What ev though... If I don't get a reply, I scout on for some other online loser lol
 Justanotherchap
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 47
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 1/23/2016 2:07:01 AM
I've just had the joy of hosting a pof event - quite an eye opener. Pof is pretty indiscriminate where it sends the mass email announcing the event, anyone within about 100 miles. In the mass email are the details of the event (singles, anyone), where, when etc. I had loads of replies from men telling me they are not gay. Loads of women from Wales, again, thinking I am trying to pick them up. And lots of people who clearly can't read.

I also had loads of views from pretty young things.

The lesson I take away from this is that, in the main, people just do not read the email and just go straight to the photos.
 Tayfire
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 48
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 1/24/2016 2:50:28 AM
Like your attitude theshortbiker. It's easier nowadays with the internet if no one is interested not like the olden days where you had to phone or tell someone face to face. I had that many many years ago with the Dear John Letter and phone call from an ex who was separated and took her hubby back.

Also it's easier to dump someone by text which in my opinion is the cowards way out.
 tartanjohnny
Joined: 5/10/2013
Msg: 49
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Psychology behind not replying?
Posted: 2/17/2016 12:08:31 PM
What a load of crap all this wailing about no replies - man up. I don't give a monkey's whether someone replies or not - in fact Id prefer no reply to one telling me no thanks.

If it came to me replying - then Id rather not reply than send a no thanks message -I feel uncomfortable sending a no thanks message.

Just let it go ffs - nothing to do with laziness.
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