Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "No answer is an answer" Is that really true?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sweettea091
Joined: 7/31/2015
Msg: 26
No answer is an answer Is that really true?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
No answer would be either not interested or unread message. I read all my messages and tend to delete the ones I have no interest in. I'm guessing more revealing women get over 100 messages a day. I only get about 50ish.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 27
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 1:59:12 PM

No one gets 100 messages a day. If they claim that, they're full of crap.


Not true.

I know it probably sounds like an exaggerated number, but one of my cousins signed up here a while back out of curiosity after she and her boyfriend broke up. One night, she showed up at one of my weekend hangouts, and in just the 4 hour period she was there, she had 40-something messages. I have no idea how many she had the whole day.

But she ended up deleting her profile after only a week because she found it overwhelming.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 28
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 2:21:57 PM

I'm sure there's no guy that remembers every single girl he's messaged and if she wanted to talk or not.


Oh but women are supposed to remember every single guy she ever rejected, so if she opens a rejectee’s subsequent abusive message it’s her own fault.
 QuirkyTeacher
Joined: 12/24/2013
Msg: 29
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 2:33:19 PM
50, 100 messages a day? On a normal day, I probably get four...and three of them are usually complete tossers. With that said, if I didn't respond, there's a reason.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 30
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 5:41:51 PM
Depends I say 95% of the time that's the case but who really knows I've messaged girls and never received a response and assumed they weren't interested then a month or so later I'll receive a response from them at that point though I've forg0tten about them.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 31
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 5:53:39 PM

50, 100 messages a day? On a normal day, I probably get four...and three of them are usually complete tossers. With that said, if I didn't respond, there's a reason.

That's more like it. When my profile was up I would get four on a good day... usually between zero and two. And absolutely, if I didn't respond there was a reason (just as there must have been a reason to the same happening with the messages I sent...)
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 32
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 6:03:12 PM
^^^^^^^^ Yup. When my profile was a "dating" profile I would go days without a message. Sometimes a week or more. I also had no restrictions. I did get more messages when there was not the +/- 14 age restriction but I have no interest in that large of an age gap.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 33
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 9:55:48 PM

I really think writing a woman, and NOT THINKING ABOUT HER AGAIN unless she writes back would go a long way.

Right? I have no idea why that's so hard to do. It actually takes less effort - so you'd think at least the lazy guys would appreciate it. For all the talk about not getting enough return on investment that goes on here some guys sure put a lot of work into trying to imagine every possible reason why someone would decide not to send a message back.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 34
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/15/2015 11:43:30 PM
No answer means not interested. But 'no answer' means never an answer. Sometimes an answer comes weeks or months later - sometimes life just gets in the way.

There are people, men and women, who get lots of messages. Some women get hundreds. But that's usually right when joining. It does not continue - call it the 'new meat' syndrome. Even I got over 200 messages the first day I put up a profile and over 400 messages within 3 days. I read every one. Replied to almost all but it took weeks.


Why not reply 'not interested' and then block? Because when you block it deletes the messages so they won't see the 'not interested.'
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 35
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 1:55:27 AM
Without a pic I get at least one a day and I've been here since before 2007.
If I chose one of my come hither pic I will get fifty in a day which is 24 hours...so..... understandable,
which leads me to believe pig's comment that 100 mgs is possible.

In other words
pig is correct
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 36
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 5:48:08 AM

Many people report some women get 100 MSG a day, and many women need to just delete all MSG and start over to make sense of it all. Or maybe those women that get tons of MSG delete many without even looking.

I don't think the number of messages we get has anything to do with your question. even if I only got one message a year that said 'hi how r u', my response to that would be nothing. and it's not an especially unique POV.


So I think no answer often means the person didn't even see your MSG.

it's within the realm of possibility. but it assumes every woman you're writing to 5x is literally so swamped with messages that she can't or won't read them all. in that case, she'd likely be scanning all of them but only answering the men whose pictures caught her eye right away. those would likely be the best of the best looking because, you know, we're just so shallow like that. how many of the 5 messages you sent to any women who never answered your 1st one translated into real-life dates?

how many men want to leave no stone unturned at least two or five times in their effort to get noticed? billions and billions? they're like fifth graders jumping up and down at the back of the room going 'ooooo' with their hot little hands raised because they definitely have the right answer.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 37
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 6:27:39 AM

they're like fifth graders jumping up and down at the back of the room going 'ooooo' with their hot little hands raised because they definitely have the right answer.


Too bad we can't post images here. I would gladly spend a few minutes w/ photoshop to put some of our fave fellas from the forum in a photo that fits this description.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 38
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 7:47:27 AM

I really think writing a woman, and NOT THINKING ABOUT HER AGAIN unless she writes back would go a long way. But no, it's evident you and others would rather dwell, dwell, dwell to the point of f*cking delirium over it.


Did you even bother to read and comprehend then next senten... nevermind, I forgot who I'm dealing with. Maybe I should do what that other girl does and keep a spreadsheet of everyone I message, and then before sending any message to any girl, I go to the spreadsheet and check to make sure I never messaged her before, and if I did, check to see if she actually talked to me, that way I don't get the "NO FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!!!!!" 5 months later because apparently, I'm supposed to remember which profile I sent a message to.

Seriously, do you have anything better to do with your time? Ofc not.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 39
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:01:19 AM
It's entirely possible I've messaged the same person twice, if they changed their pictures and I didn't recognize them.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 40
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:11:29 AM
I've definitely messaged women more than once, I'll send a message, give it a few days never get an answer and promptly forget about it, months go down the line, I've seen several hundred profiles since then and forget that I contacted the chick before
 QuirkyTeacher
Joined: 12/24/2013
Msg: 41
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:26:29 AM
I've messaged a person more than once. This was not on purpose. This one guy changed up his profile....or maybe he didn't and I just didn't remember, but I apparently messaged him twice. He was rude about it...like I was stalking him. He started with "You messaged me back in October". It was like March or April during the second message....he continued "I wasn't interested in you then, and I'm not interested in you now." I was memorable enough for him to be offended I messaged him a second time after several months...nice. He probably came to the forums that same day asking why fat girls always message him. lol
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 42
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:26:58 AM
And that's why I think a simple "not interested" check box would be a great addition to the site. It would make it so much easier for both sides.
 QuirkyTeacher
Joined: 12/24/2013
Msg: 43
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:45:43 AM

And that's why I think a simple "not interested" check box would be a great addition to the site. It would make it so much easier for both sides.


It's one of the features I like about Tinder. You're only messaging people who at least have SOME sort of interest in you...vice versa.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 44
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:50:39 AM

It's one of the features I like about Tinder. You're only messaging people who at least have SOME sort of interest in you...vice versa.


I actually found a pretty cool one if it catches on: Happn.

It's like a mix of Tinder and the creepy "Missed Connections" page on craigslist. It's basically only people that you end up crossing paths with, and it says how often it happens and when. So it almost ends up being like tinder, but with people that you actually see in your daily life
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 45
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 9:05:17 AM
Several issues to address here. The number of messages that a woman receives will vary greatly depending on her age, looks, and LOCATION. I think many people forget that last part.

ON EDIT: I see Pig and AdventureJoe have addressed that. I’m not going to quote the whole thing here, but if you didn’t read msg 25, go back and do so now. Location, location, location. If you’re in a rural area, do NOT keep messaging the same few available women over and over.

One young woman of my acquaintance, about 35, and DDG, put up a profile on POF and received 300 messages in the first 36 hours. This is in Houston, the 4th largest metropolitan area in the US. And yes, the story is true, she showed me her inbox, asked me what I thought she should do. My advice was to hide her account, and send initial messages to men of her choosing. She chose to delete the account, and just go with IRL.

This experience (along with other things) convinced me to no longer write really long, involved initial messages. Save that for after she has replied, indicating some actual interest.

Secondly, the spreadsheet for keeping track of contacts / messages sent / etc. I did this when I first went online, nearly 6 years ago. And then, after a few months, I stopped using the spreadsheet. Anytime I get to the point where I have alternate contact information (phone number, email, whatever), I put that information in my Google Gmail contact manager, easier to do, picture included. Occasionally, I do get a sharp reply from some woman that I have contacted before. Most recent example:


Hi, you've written to me many, many times before. This is not a match for me. Very best to you.


I’m about 99% certain that I had not written her more than twice, but whatever.

One of the really handy features about a paid account: You can, when looking at a profile, see if you have ever messaged her, if she replied, if she has viewed your profile, and the date that she looked. The woman, above, had last looked at my profile in 2013, 2 years previously.

Ok*Cupid has a much better deal – you pay, one time, for increased message storage. Then every message that you ever sent, or received, is kept. If you start to send a message to someone, the site will show you every message ever sent or received from that person. AND they don’t have the stupid 14 year rule. AND they have the question/answer format, which I love. It’s no wonder I get more dates there than here.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 46
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 9:05:32 AM
No response almost always means no interest at this time. It can mean there will never be interest, or it can mean someone is on vacation, busy, or too distracted to tend to an inbox.

Sometimes, a man of potential interest (Joe) happens to email a woman (Jane) when she is already considering another man (Guy #1) for a relationship. At that point, “no response” is not a reflection of her attraction to Joe. Instead, it can show good character and intent on Jane’s part. Guy #1 met her first; they’ve already interacted; and Jane is smitten. When she ignores Joe’s message to focus on Guy #1, she is demonstrating a value many men want in a woman. ... Would a man who is seeking a relationship want Jane if she were easily distracted from Guy #1?

If things don’t work out with Guy #1, Jane then feels free to meet other men of interest. If she had previously sent Joe an email indicating lack of interest, she would have closed a door that she might now wish were open.

I don’t mean to encourage men to pester women who’ve not responded to their emails. Instead, I hope men will remember that circumstances can change. Timing is critical and can be just as important as other factors.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 47
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 9:13:51 AM

Sometimes, a man of potential interest (Joe) happens to email a woman (Jane) when she is already considering another man (Guy #1) for a relationship. At that point, “no response” is not a reflection of her attraction to Joe. Instead, it can show good character and intent on Jane’s part. Guy #1 met her first; they’ve already interacted; and Jane is smitten. When she ignores Joe’s message to focus on Guy #1, she is demonstrating a value many men want in a woman. ... Would a man who is seeking a relationship want Jane if she were easily distracted from Guy #1?


I understand what you are saying Kay, and I agree with the scenario being possible. But wouldn't I really be Tarzan in this scenario?After all, she is Jane! So is the other guy Cheetah. I am now even more confused...thanks A LOT!



Too bad we can't post images here. I would gladly spend a few minutes w/ photoshop to put some of our fave fellas from the forum in a photo that fits this description.


But there would have to be a prize system just like there was in 5th grade! Otherwise I will fall asleep in the last row just like grades 1-12 !



ve messaged a person more than once. This was not on purpose. This one guy changed up his profile....or maybe he didn't and I just didn't remember, but I apparently messaged him twice. He was rude about it...like I was stalking him. He started with "You messaged me back in October". It was like March or April during the second message....he continued "I wasn't interested in you then, and I'm not interested in you now." I was memorable enough for him to be offended I messaged him a second time after several months...nice. He probably came to the forums that same day asking why fat girls always message him. lol


That guy sounds like a bitter a hole, let him go frack himself, sorry. He was crude, rude to boot! It would surprise me if he hasn't repeatedly sent a female LOVE messages trying to win her affection, to no avail.

TBH I would get worried if my regular stalker (6 messages and counting) just disappeared. I am concerned about her at this point.You never know what you have until you lose them. :(


And that's why I think a simple "not interested" check box would be a great addition to the site. It would make it so much easier for both sides.


If they design it the same way they made "meet me"...yeah that would be a hoot!(rolls eyes)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 48
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 9:33:23 AM

I don't think the number of messages we get has anything to do with your question. even if I only got one message a year that said 'hi how r u', my response to that would be nothing. and it's not an especially unique POV.

how many men want to leave no stone unturned at least two or five times in their effort to get noticed? billions and billions? they're like fifth graders jumping up and down at the back of the room going 'ooooo' with their hot little hands raised because they definitely have the right answer.


If you only got 1 MSG a week, and you log in daily, I am 99% certain you read my MSG and aren't interested, while if you get 50 a day maybe you skimmed over me because my pic on a thumbnail wasn't clear, wasn't my best camera angle, was a poor selfie.

(but ths is why I spent weeks working on framing a good shot using a tripod/delayed timer, or why I looked through 1000s of pics to find the most interesting. I wanted to avoid a bad first impression. A lot of people seem to create a profile and put little effort into their pics.)

On the other hand, if a man feels a strong attraction to a profile, and it seems to him that they "should" be a perfect match and the woman has gotten a ton of MSGs, what is the man's downside to attempt more than one MSG? Wasted time is the only negative outside of a rude response.
=============================
I do think there is delusional aspect to repeated attempts to contact someone especially after they have send a "not interested" reply.

It seems to be based on, if she only understood the TRUE me, she would want to meet. If I can only EXPLAIN why my first MSG wasn't my best effort, she will surely want to meet me.

IMO it's much more likely any repeated attempts to contact someone will only further convince them you have mental probles and to keep far away.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 49
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 10:21:24 AM
This is one of the features about Match that I liked. After emailing someone, you could remove that person's profile from your search results. That would probably prevent you from emailing a person that didn't respond to the initial email a second time. However this is different than blocking. The other person can still see your profile and respond to your email if they are interested. Their emails would show up in your mailbox.
 lyn1214
Joined: 3/11/2015
Msg: 50
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 1:39:04 PM
no response is a response . for whatever reason you don't feel compelled to answer that person . you are not interested enough to respind to them,case closed! if you were interested in chatting or meeting for coffee and the person looked interesting,why miss out on that chance by leaving their message there unanswered. a simple hello will suffice if you are pressed for time so not buying the whole odds this and that . firing off subsequent messages to someone that hasn't even replied to the first is the fastrack to the blocked list . That's putting way too much energy into someone that you may end up having zero chemistry with to even meet. so yea take a chance,if they for whatever reason don't reply you can't worry about it beyond that. on to the next profile ☺
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "No answer is an answer" Is that really true?