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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "No answer is an answer" Is that really true?      Home login  
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 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 51
No answer is an answer Is that really true?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
But at the same time, you can't be surprised when a followup message is sent. NOTHING accomplishes as much as just saying it. If you choose not to, that's your choice, but you can't expect everyone to be a mind-reader. Way too many people do though. Unless you're the apartment across from me that I have a telescope aimed through your window, I don't know what actually happened on your side of POF.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 52
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 2:08:05 PM


Did you even bother to read and comprehend then next senten... nevermind, I forgot who I'm dealing with.


You know, you can continue with your half assed, chicken shit attempts at being condescending until the proverbial cows come home, but the fact of the matter is, you're a wanna-be know it all with very likely little experience to back it up.


. Maybe I should do what that other girl does and keep a spreadsheet of everyone I message, and then before sending any message to any girl, I go to the spreadsheet and check to make sure I never messaged her before, and if I did, check to see if she actually talked to me, that way I don't get the "NO FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!!!!!" 5 months later because apparently, I'm supposed to remember which profile I sent a message to.


Wow, apparently, I've been blessed with mega memory because I can remember who I have messaged and who I haven't. Then again, I am not desperately pounding out 100 or more messages a week to women.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 53
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No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 2:14:19 PM
I think mainly someone with a lot of time on their hand would want women sending them "no thank you" messages. If guys get no reply by 95% of women , why would they want to go into their inbox to read messages, 95% of them saying "no thank you".

Imagine sending out 100 messages and having to go though 95 "no thank you" messages to find the 5 messages that are positive. You keep championing that women should send "no thank you" letters to every reply BUT NOT once have you actually asked what the successful guys( or gals) on here want.

Pretty selfish to NOT care about all the guys that think loads of useless crappy " no thank you" messages in their inbox is unwanted. Only positive replies matter!

*40 of those unwanted "no thank you" messages would probably illicit another unwanted "why not?" message. It is a never-ending cycle of
wasted time distracting from positive outcomes IMHO.


Wow, apparently, I've been blessed with mega memory because I can remember who I have messaged and who I haven't.


Actually, often I couldn't, and I was proud of that fact! I didn't obsess over any profile on here. I find this obsession over someone not replying and followups close to cyber stalking.
 td2231
Joined: 8/1/2015
Msg: 54
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 2:52:04 PM
I have had 72 in a day, so no, it isn't impossible to get 100. I will respond to some but not all.
 td2231
Joined: 8/1/2015
Msg: 55
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 3:01:56 PM
Me too. I get a tone of messages and frankly, I am not interested in talking to everyone and I don't have time to go one by saying "hello, but no thanks". Some people automatically assume you're interested and then you can't cut them off. I think a no answer is an answer. You don't even know these people and you don't anything to anyone. Maybe til after the first date, but not if have not met them.
 td2231
Joined: 8/1/2015
Msg: 56
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 3:05:05 PM
I agree. I have responded to some I am not interested in and then get bombarded with messages from them. Some have told me off because I said no, while others said "Ok. Thank you for responding". I don't have the time to be responding to every single person.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 57
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 4:10:07 PM
So is the conventional wisdom of "no answer is an answer" really true?
---------------
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I contacted a few women a second time and I ended up going on dates with a few of them. I'd say it's a judgment call, but if you see someone who really interests you, sending a second message a few months later is not a big deal.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 58
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No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/16/2015 4:14:28 PM

Me too. I get a tone of messages and frankly, I am not interested in talking to everyone and I don't have time to go one by saying "hello, but no thanks". Some people automatically assume you're interested and then you can't cut them off. I think a no answer is an answer. You don't even know these people and you don't anything to anyone. Maybe til after the first date, but not if have not met them.



I agree. I have responded to some I am not interested in and then get bombarded with messages from them. Some have told me off because I said no, while others said "Ok. Thank you for responding". I don't have the time to be responding to every single person.


I can imagine you get quite a lot. ;)

See RT , here is an attractive women, who isn't a forum regular , telling you what happens, and why it makes no sense to reply!
She had me "I"!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 59
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No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:46:33 AM

no response is a response . for whatever reason you don't feel compelled to answer that person . you are not interested enough to respind to them,case closed!

Not technically, though. You'd be surprised at the success rate of 2nd/3rd attempts. I know, I know -- the ones that stick out are from ugly dudes. But here's the thing: When a gal does respond having some interest on that 2nd or 3rd one -- To Her, it's the 1st one, because she never Really saw/remembered the actual 1st ones. Many women get overflowed with messages and yes -- they don't have interest, just as they don't have interest in a somewhat cute guy walking down the street past her as she's chatty-Kathy on the phone in the process -- she doesn't see him. Now, every guy's going to want to think he's That guy, yeah. And also, you can't expect every gal to write a no-thank-you note either.

In the end, I just say deal-with-it... just the same as too-many ugly guys writing a cute gal and her mailbox filling up too quickly. If she sees an unattractive guy whose thumbnail seems somewhat familiar, she can just click & block it for those that stand out. Weeding thru tons o mail is a lot of energy in and of itself, right? A reason why many times, a optional potential may be overlooked.

Even as a guy whose mailbox does not get new-chicks that repeatedly, I know that I've overlooked/by-passed some cute gals who wrote me because I had my hands full IRL and online. I can only imagine if I lived in a vice-versa alternate universe where girls usually approach/write guys and my mailbox gets filled up with chicks' messages. Yeah, there's going to be some cuties I never really checked out, but in my weeding process as I'm starting to see Veronica, and also talking to Jane & Heather -- I'm going to just check-off and delete them along with the rest that I have anti-interest in. My hands are full, that's why.

When 2 of those 3 girls I'm juggling dissipate, I'm going to pay more attention to my influx of messages... so a cute Rhonda who writes me for the 2nd time, may be the 1st time I truly check it out -- and hey, she's not that bad! I'll write her back! Of course, I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to roll my eyes at all the ugly Betties writing me for the 2nd time (which is 95% of them) and preach never to write me again if I don't respond.

A guy though should understand that if she's Online Now a lot, and she's one of the prime picks and she's at least a bit out of your league IRL, you're in that 95% that she does not want.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 60
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:53:28 AM

So if I were dating and I was really interested in someone I would send out 4-5 MSG to the same women over a month period of time. If she responded with a not interested then I would put her in the "do not MSG spreadsheet" column. If I saw nothing back at all, I would try several times, maybe set a limit of 5. Outside of a little wasted time on my part, I don't see any downside.

I do tend to use a spreadsheet to keep track of contacts and details.


So with all that data, have you made any pie charts or graphs yet? lmfao That is another beauty of spreadsheets. Besides formulas.

I pretty much just commit it to memory. I don't even get 15 messages a month, maybe.

and furthermore, IF you were, and "tend to use spreadsheets".....um, yeah, you are married. Why are you doing this?
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 61
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 9:05:46 AM
It's obviously true for the folks who believe that there are only two kinds of emails. [which is quite silly IMO] There is a time and place for little white lies just like there is a time and place for brutal honesty.

Some wise person once said, "It's not what you say but how you say it" So very true. Obviously not ALL emails deserve a response but [in my book at least] SOME do. I have "rejected" hundreds over the years and never had even one come back with anything nasty.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 62
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 9:33:26 AM

So with all that data, have you made any pie charts or graphs yet? lmfao That is another beauty of spreadsheets. Besides formulas.

I pretty much just commit it to memory. I don't even get 15 messages a month, maybe.

and furthermore, IF you were, and "tend to use spreadsheets".....um, yeah, you are married. Why are you doing this?


I created the spreadsheet to keep track of personal details of women that I had established a two way MSG exchange. Phone numbers, email address, anything they chatted about that seemed significant. I also had an informal rating for easy sorting.

I remember the faces of people I contacted, I don't always remember the details of who said what. I can't really smoothly say, are you the woman that is divorced?, her parents died? etc . So having this information quickly at my finger tips worked for me.

I still have the information, since I have terabyte of disc storage it doesn't really matter what I keep. I have most of my email since I never delete hotmail. Even though I have 1000s of emails, it's easy to do a query and find any particular email.

And systems like POF delete old conversations after a short time.

I am not still doing this, IE: keeping track of contacts, since I stopped once I got engaged.

Many posters know that I liked long distance dating and many contacts were long distance. It isn't like I am going to meet these women in a few days, so I develop the relationship online with the thought of either consummating the relationship or abandoning it when we met face to face.

In eharmony I didn't track too much, since they track it pretty well, and I tend to forget anyone that never responded by eharmony, again the system tracks that also. But I won't always remember the details and not all dating platforms do a good job at tracking contacts.

Dating platforms are nothing but relational databases.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 63
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 9:58:23 AM

I still have the information, since I have terabyte of disc storage it doesn't really matter what I keep. I have most of my email since I never delete hotmail. Even though I have 1000s of emails, it's easy to do a query and find any particular email.


oh ummmm, that sounds kinda creepy dragon to still have that information since you have a SO. If I found something like that on your computer and it was me, I'd run like the wind away from you. There is no need to have all that dating data about women....unless you are using it for statistics, I would think you could take out who they were and make them anonymous. eeeesh. I know catfishers that save data on forum posters too. Yup. Met one. Way cray cray.

or if you were a subcontractor/employee for the site, you'd prolly keep that info for your job....lol

and yeah, most all OLD info can be pulled from a sort of database and compiled, but spreadsheets are not databases. Queries are for databases and not spreadsheets. I think you might have a bit more going on here....
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 64
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 2:57:22 PM

and yeah, most all OLD info can be pulled from a sort of database and compiled, but spreadsheets are not databases. Queries are for databases and not spreadsheets. I think you might have a bit more going on here....


I think spreadsheets work just fine for small amounts of data. Meaning less than 10,000 records. Not that I had anything like that, just saying in general spreadsheets Vs database.

As a database, I used to use paradox, but that faded out in 1995, then I used MS Access for a while, but never cared for their JET DB engine. To me databases really shine for data entry.

I moved to SAS, and I really liked using SAS, statistical analysis software. Using SQL queries to analyze data on a Solaris Unix machine or accessing main frame records.

For me, anything less than a few million records seems like random observations.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 65
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:07:47 PM
I have a tough time figuring out people that I think I actually know, let alone trying to figure out people that I don't.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 66
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:15:53 PM

I moved to SAS, and I really liked using SAS, statistical analysis software. Using SQL queries to analyze data on a Solaris Unix machine or accessing main frame records.


So then you understand a TRUE / FALSE statement?

Then yes, No means no. /EndIf
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 67
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:44:55 PM

oh ummmm, that sounds kinda creepy dragon to still have that information since you have a SO. If I found something like that on your computer and it was me, I'd run like the wind away from you. There is no need to have all that dating data about women....unless you are using it for statistics, I would think you could take out who they were and make them anonymous. eeeesh. I know catfishers that save data on forum posters too. Yup. Met one. Way cray cray.


A lot of people save memories of the past. I am not sure where it crosses anyone's line. Though those emails and such aren't really memories, I just don't bother trying to erase them all. I have about 5 pages of hotmail email notices, similar to the emails you get when you get a POF MSG. At one point I created a filter to send them to a subfolder. They aren't really good for anything, they are all aliases on the eharmony system.

But if you think that is creepy, then you would be really creeped out by the fact that I had video tapes from back in 1975 till 1990.. I got one of the first Sears hand held cameras with a separate video cassette recorder. I got it explicitly to film myself and my first GF in bed. And subsequent GFs.

Naturally the GFs knew I was taping since I had the camera on a tripod.

I still had all my tapes until my first wife discovered them. It seems she didn't like the idea. So I agreed to throw them away. My thought was when I was 95 I could look back and see what life was really like, a stroll down memory lane.

I would still have had those tapes if I hadn't thrown them away, though lord knows where I could find a beta tape machine and my wife isn't someone I would want to trifle with lightly. So all in all, it's probably better they are gone.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 68
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/17/2015 6:57:07 PM

What's wrong with replying not interested and blocking right after that?

Assuming you don't have so many MSGs that it makes it too time consuming?


That's too easy of a solution, don't you know?

They have to wait for the nasty messages they are compelled to open.

I don't have to worry about that.
I don't open any messages I get from someone I have rejected, after I have rejected them, since I'm not interested in pursuing anything with them, and therefore I'm also not interested in receiving any further messages from them.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 69
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No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 1:39:59 AM

spreadsheets are not databases
Yes they are, or can be, depending on how they are structured.

A list such as dragon describes is definitely a database. And I suspect he is using the term 'query' in a non-technical way (despite 'query' being a database-related function).
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 70
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No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 5:37:24 AM
td2231

If you have recently joined you are getting the new girl rush and the messages will diminish sooner or later.
But as you say, no response is a response. So many women being polite will respond they are not interested etc and then get abused. So Delete and block is the way to go and then they cant come back again when they are drunk or have forgotten.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 71
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 3:12:14 PM



spreadsheets are not databases
Yes they are, or can be, depending on how they are structured.


A list such as dragon describes is definitely a database. And I suspect he is using the term 'query' in a non-technical way (despite 'query' being a database-related function).


No, sorry you are wrong. Wanna tell me again, since I was top of my class how databases have unique keys and spreadsheets don't? Yeah, I was the professors pet. He didn't like it so much when I taught him things either.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 72
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 3:46:29 PM
Database does not require a unique key but it is helpful if it does.

Maybe there was a reason other than grasping the material (pun intended), that the professor liked to pet you?
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 73
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 4:05:05 PM
lol. Naw, we were both married. He was disappointed in me when I became preggers with my last son before graduation tho. That's when the bottom fell out of CIS job market that year too.

Yes, they don't require unique keys, but you need to have them for cross linking. No big deal. Still creepy to keep all that info if you are married.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 74
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 4:09:53 PM

No, sorry you are wrong. Wanna tell me again, since I was top of my class how databases have unique keys and spreadsheets don't? Yeah, I was the professors pet. He didn't like it so much when I taught him things either.


Well, datebases and spreadsheets are different, though I can make a spreadsheet behave like a database,and make a database work like a spreadsheet. There is a lot of overlap between the two.

I usually determine what to use between the two as to what function one is trying to accomplish, how large are your data sets and how do you perform data entry?

You would keep drivers license records in a database, but home budget would be done on a spreadsheet. But I could use either, except spreadsheet have more limitation on the number of cells / row. So in practice you would never use a spreadsheet to hold drive license data.

As in, Excel has a 1,048,576 row limit, you can do some things if you exceed that, but other aspects such as editing the raw data you could not do.

I think databases also have limits, but the limits are much greater. Generally I used mainframe data and programs like SAS for really huge amonuts of data.

Queries are used for both databases, spreadsheets and is a general English word as well. Nothing about using query implies a database or spreadsheet.

I can use SAS as well to design a SQL query, SAS is neither a database nor a spreadsheet.

You can google "excel sql query" as in "Use Microsoft Query to retrieve external data - Excel - Office ...".
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 75
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/18/2015 4:13:48 PM
as I recall , ...it's a filter in a spreadsheet.

Spreadsheets are for forumas and equations. Charts and graphing. You can link all that shit into your database FROM spreadsheets. Unless you wanna make up some visual basic coding in Access for formulas, which I hated, I used to dream the answers while I slept.

now make a report from a spreadsheet. lmfao. Databases do that.

You going to tell your wife you still have all that data?
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