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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "No answer is an answer" Is that really true?      Home login  
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 slothlover_007
Joined: 8/17/2015
Msg: 126
No answer is an answer Is that really true?Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
"I do tend to use a spreadsheet to keep track of contacts and details."

haha, Not a bad idea!
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 127
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/24/2015 2:50:28 AM


So is the conventional wisdom of "no answer is an answer" really true?
Hmm, more like I ran out of options and I've decided to give you a shot
I think you hit the nail on the head here.

Though honestly, sometimes when you first open an account or come out of hiding, as a woman.. you get swarmed. It's overwhelming at times, so you mostly cherry-pick to manage your inbox. There have been guys I've ignored in the past, who I talked to later and thought differently of them. I think I even contacted one I had previously ignored before. But nothing ever worked out with them, so I'm not sure I'd put too much stock in it.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 128
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/24/2015 6:05:59 AM

Hmm, more like I ran out of options and I've decided to give you a shot


As long as you don't tell me that now you are really scraping the bottom of the barrow, that works for me.

I had a lot of initial contacts and a lot of responses, so I never paid any attention to someone that didn't respond. Likely some on eharmony didn't respond to the initial question they use on that service, I never really paid a lot of attention.

I posed this question since a lot of men say they get no response yet a few months later they get an initial MSG from someone that they had contacted first.

I was curious at what people thought about this. If a woman isn't interested in a profile and doesn't respond, I don't see that there is any downside for a man trying a second time. As long as he doesn't mind confirmation of the rejection.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 129
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/24/2015 6:19:58 AM
A man ignored the first time does not get the message and tries again. That is one reason women delete and block at the outset. He is just recycling and trying again because he ran out of options.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 130
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/24/2015 7:07:01 AM

If a woman isn't interested in a profile and doesn't respond, I don't see that there is any downside for a man trying a second time.
It absolutely blows my mind how many men write the exact same and incredibly lame opening line over and over and over again in the hopes that one day you'll answer.

So sure, there's no harm, but for the ones who make a delusional career out of it, you're just going to get blocked.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 131
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/24/2015 7:30:14 AM

It absolutely blows my mind how many men write the exact same and incredibly lame opening line over and over and over again in the hopes that one day you'll answer.

So sure, there's no harm, but for the ones who make a delusional career out of it, you're just going to get blocked.


It blows my mind how many men are totally lame at OL dating.

But I used to hang out for a short time with a man that was a pick up artist, way before anyone knew what that meant, even before the Internet was common. I hung out with him because he gave me one really great financial situation, he was pretty good at stocks. He would use the same lines at a bar over and over again, he totally didn't mind rejection, and usually got a woman to leave the bar with him. Most often a tourist in Washington DC.

He was a douche-bag, but his pickup spiel worked in real life for him.

You know the best way to reinforce behavior is to only occasionally reward it?

So maybe the lame lines work often enough that the men don't change. But OLD exposes women to the same lame lines much more often and quicker than they encounter it in real life, so they wise up quicker.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 132
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 10:18:21 AM

You wanna know the real reason why some folks are never going to figure this one out? I have a feeling that many here can bang out 50 words a minute on a bad day. Not that typing speed alone is the real crux of the matter.

Post a new Q and ask folks how much TIME they might/can/usually spend "looking over" and heaven forbid actually READING a profile and THEN typing out a "good" first message and hitting the SEND button. Yes, I am talking first contact email here. What you will find [unless things have changed drastically here in the last 5 years] is that plenty of folks would never spend over 3 or 4 minutes, tops, from start to finish. Even the ones who claim to be looking for a LTR. And of course these folks will assume that EVERYone who sends emails puts minimal effort into them so what's the big deal with ignoring people?

Exactly. You get what you give in this type of atmosphere. If you can't be bothered it will show - and people will respond to that with the same. Change your dynamic if you want different results.

The answer, of course, is to not let it bother you. If you can get to the point where you absolutely do not care about whether that particular woman answers your message, then that attitude will show in the words that you write, and in your profile, and (some of) the women will start to answer you.

Yes. Stop caring so much (or even giving it enough energy to remember it for 10 minutes) and it will change two things:
1. Your mindset and level of frustration
2. Your vibe to those you are interacting with.
Even if it doesn't work or get you any further than you are now, the not caring part will make it a non-issue, so it doesn't matter.

Also, when someone e-mails me the same opening message twice, there is a past message in the history including my response. Time, date, everything - even if I delete the first message. Perhaps the sender should see something like this too before they hit "send" - telling him there was an initial message sent on this day and at this time and asking if he wants to continue the conversation.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 133
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History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 11:10:31 AM
Going to play devils advocate here. Wait, who am I kidding I am the flown blown devil himself!


So maybe the lame lines work often enough that the men don't change


What is lame about the lines? If they work, they work. That is like saying a 20 dollar bill crumbled is worth nothing.


He would use the same lines at a bar over and over again, he totally didn't mind rejection, and usually got a woman to leave the bar with him. Most often a tourist in Washington DC.

Sounds like a winner to me. Those are the people who win in life, regardless if it is women, money, etc. If that is indeed his goal. Questioning it would be like telling a guy who just landed a job offer from his resume that he shouldn't have sent out multiple resumes.


But I used to hang out for a short time with a man that was a pick up artist, way before anyone knew what that meant, even before the Internet was common.

Sounds like my father and the same knowledge passed down.

I hung out with him because he gave me one really great financial situation, he was pretty good at stocks.

Some of the best pick up guys are in finance, is the aren't awkward. They understand the significance of numbers!

He was a douche-bag, but his pickup spiel worked in real life for him.

Why was he a douchebag? Can you give a definition? Apparently he was more apt at social behavior than you give him credit for.He also gave you more than you might have given him. Who doesn't appreciate advice that will get them richer and members of the opposite sex??

I would be honored to know him!


But OLD exposes women to the same lame lines much more often and quicker than they encounter it in real life, so they wise up quicker.

Irrelevant. Many Girls will listen to the worst played out lines simply because they are attracted to the guy. Those lines will help more than a guy quoting Shakespeare who doesn't meet her fancy.

Ok back to your regular programming. The devil is dead!
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 134
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:53:06 PM

You are one dumb motherf*cker. No, she does *not* have to assume responsibility for choosing not to respond. However, the weak ass, emotionally broken, piece of shit loser who can't handle a woman NOT giving him the attention he's desperately craving is responsible for acting like a complete idiot if he chooses to send her a nasty message.

For you to justify this shit makes you sound like a genuine psychopath. You belong in a mental home.


So she doesn't have to take responsibility for her choices? Are you seriously saying that?

I'm not condoning flipping out on the girl like you stupid shits like to constantly assume. But are you really ****ing surprised when someone says something about the silence? You know, the literal LACK of an answer. What I meant, for the intellectually impaired, is if she goes with complete silence, and he sends a second message, just in case maybe she didn't see the first one, she is in no position to pull the shit a lot of girls on here do when they get a second message, because THAT'S WHAT ****ING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, dude, get women off that pedestal you have them on. They're capable of ****ing up just as much as men.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 135
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:34:41 PM
RT, you POS, what happened to piggy? oink, oink.

Who posted this before for you?"existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires. All because girls have never been attracted to me."

https://youtu.be/-okAStQbGLo

"It's not fair."
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 136
view profile
History
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:40:50 PM
RT didn't delete Pig. He wasn't even here.

But don't scare him off. We need someone to call our "mommy line".
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 137
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:41:28 PM

The whole point is, there is no guarantee a woman isn't going to get more messages even if she does answer politely.


That's completely irrelevant.

If she doesn't answer, is there a chance that someone who isn't a mind reader is going to ask her again? Yes or no? Obvious answer is yes. All I'm saying, is if you don't answer, accept the fact that he might message you again. Because YOU'RE NOT GIVING HIM AN ANSWER@!!!!!!!!! IT'S A ****ING HINT NOT AN ANSWER!!!!!!!!

Merriam Webster's definition of "answer"

: something you say or write when someone asks you a question

: a response to a question that is meant to show whether or not you know something (such as a question asked as part of an exam)

: the correct response to a question


So it's right in the definition of the word that there's some sort of action required on your end. Now, blatantly ignoring someone IS an answer. BUT, again, how do you know the difference between being ignored and someone just didn't notice your message? For that exact reason, no answer is NOT an answer. It's by defintion, literally the exact opposite of an answer.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 138
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:49:43 PM
^^^I'm ignoring him.


RT didn't delete Pig. He wasn't even here.


how do you know this? Did you check the previous page?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 139
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:53:28 PM

So she doesn't have to take responsibility for her choices? Are you seriously saying that?


Sure, she takes responsibility for her choices.
She decides not to answer; taking the responsibility that she might not get to meet you (generic Prince Charming).
Continue bothering her with increasingly crude and rude language and she blocks you.
Stalk her and she calls the authorities.
That sounds like reasonable responsibility for her choices... and a lot of unreasonable and bad, possibly illegal, actions on Prince Charming's part.

You seem to assume that she is responsible for making Prince Charming feel better by accepting someone she clearly feels no attraction for.


Answer

An answer does not have to be verbal or written.
Turning my back on you, shaking/nodding my head, shrugging, and not answering an email are all legitimate responses and valid answers.

But if it makes you feel better, you can always add something like
'please answer this email - even if in the negative - so I know that you actually mean 'no' and didn't just accidentally delete me otherwise I will spam your email box until you do or until you block me, whichever comes first'.

In the meantime, I really have to look for a Shetland zombie (that was hilarious, Oluben.)
 Brave_one
Joined: 6/26/2015
Msg: 140
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 5:47:07 PM

It blows my mind how many men are totally lame at OL dating.


and to think with all your money, yet very cheap...and also short in stature.....the ladies here still have rejected you in the ,''no answer shortie’' routine.....why so ????



But I used to hang out for a short time with a man that was a pick up artist, way before anyone knew what that meant, even before the Internet was common. I hung out with him because this.........& that.
He was a douche-bag, but his pickup spiel worked in real life for him.


And to think now, all being told, one would have go to a third world country to be accepted as someone's,''sugar daddy.’’ Who would have thought ?????
like magic heh as least they won’t reject you there...$$$$$ capish !
As your, back in Chicago, in the viagra triangle, aka,'' Rush St. ''was over your head in height too....but your friend did what now?
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 141
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/26/2015 10:06:32 PM

just in case maybe she didn't see the first one, she is in no position to pull the shit a lot of girls on here do when they get a second message, because THAT'S WHAT ****ING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Without a doubt you have to be the biggest idiot I've ever seen.

Nobody missed that message RT....nobody. You don't interest them, period. Nobody.


Seriously, dude, get women off that pedestal you have them on. They're capable of ****ing up just as much as men.


If you didn't make it your life's work to make it seem as though they're the ones responsible for your miserable existence, perhaps you would have a different outlook. But at this point it's a given...it just sucks to be you.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 142
whenever you make your own pickles, try adding KoolAid for flavor and color
Posted: 8/26/2015 10:23:07 PM
its sorta ironic, tho.....a guy sends a message. there is no response. Said guy says, "oh, it must be that she just didn't see it".

This is considered an optimistic attitude.

IF said guy said, "oh,woe is me, she didn't respond, she must have seen it and rejected me"

This could be considered, a defeatist attitude.

however, in this Bizzaroforum, up is down and black is white. The optimistic attitude is in fact the unrealistic attitude of a control freak.

apparently, all things should be taken in context. I think that's in the first three pages of the forum instruction manual, when they have all the dangers! and warning symbols.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 143
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 12:56:13 AM

So have I ever been in the military? How is that pertinent? I expect military orders will be obeyed regardless of gender.


There are orders & there are ORDERS....... You might be surprised how many orders are withdrawn, when You ask for the Order, to be written down & signed.... If you're the Junior Person & that Order could come back & bite You on the Butt, get the Order in writing.....
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 144
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 7:47:08 AM

If you didn't make it your life's work to make it seem as though they're the ones responsible for your miserable existence, perhaps you would have a different outlook. But at this point it's a given...it just sucks to be you.


They're not. I never once fukcing said that they are. You ***holes keep putting those words in my mouth. And I'm way better off than you ***holes like to assume. The problem is that to the same few of you, women are incapable of doing wrong. That's just not true. Women can be just as terrible of people as men can be. Your gender doesn't decide if you're good or bad, your character does. Just like your character shows that you're an ***hole. So you make me out as this ****ing monster that abuses women that can't get a date. Meanwhile the reality is friends, I have a couple girls that actually aren't taking no for an answer right now... Maybe I'm onto something with treating women like people instead of the goddesses of perfection.

All I'm saying is if you don't respond, someone who doesn't know what's going on in your head might send a second message. He's not stalking you, he's not being a control freak, he was just unsure and sent a follow up message. But on these forums, you're stalking and abusing them if you do that. If you don't want a followup, then either block them or just ****ing use your words. If you don't, then accept that there's the possibility of the unwanted response of a 2nd message. When you failed to use the block button or send a response, then you assume responsibility for the other person not knowing what you were thinking.

Stop demonizing the guys because you fear confrontation so much that you have no business even trying to date. I also never once said that any woman has to send a response, or that she owes one. But she has to accept the results of her choices. That's ****ing life. That's being an adult. Every choice you make has consequences (a consequence is only the result of an action, NOT A PUNISHMENT).

Silence doesn't tell anyone anything. Over time you quickly learn that silence most commonly means they're not interested. But not everyone knows that. Not everyone knows that sudden silence mid-conversation means they lost interest and weren't just actually busy.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 145
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 7:49:30 AM
^^^^jeepers...you're not mad are you?
Don't worry...no need to answer.
:o)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 146
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 7:59:54 AM

I have a couple girls that actually aren't taking no for an answer right now... Maybe I'm onto something with treating women like people instead of the goddesses of perfection.


Dude, you dog. Now this is juicy!! When it's the date? Keep us posted, if anything so we can give you grief.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 147
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 8:06:11 AM

But she has to accept the results of her choices.

you keep saying this. what results? some woman didn't answer your message, the end.

i know that i had to accept giving up on Colin Firth after he ignored my 25th message, because i was sure he didn't see the first 24.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 148
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 8:06:18 AM


I have a couple girls that actually aren't taking no for an answer right now


I bet most would say YES if a suppository was the alternative.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 149
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 9:04:09 AM
All I'm saying is if you don't respond, someone who doesn't know what's going on in your head might send a second message.
--------------
No, you're a control freak who gets all worked up about people who don't adhere to your idea of how things should work.

--------------
He's not stalking you, he's not being a control freak, he was just unsure and sent a follow up message. But on these forums, you're stalking and abusing them if you do that. If you don't want a followup, then either block them or just ****ing use your words. If you don't, then accept that there's the possibility of the unwanted response of a 2nd message. When you failed to use the block button or send a response, then you assume responsibility for the other person not knowing what you were thinking.
---------------
Why the fck do you care about ANY of that? If I felt like sending a second message message, I sent one. If not, I didn't. What she thought about that is her problem, not mine. It's no skin off my nose. Get it through your thick head that you are not the etiquette police and apparently, are not going to be a popular candidate if the position opens up.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 150
No answer is an answer Is that really true?
Posted: 8/27/2015 9:06:20 AM

you keep saying this. what results? some woman didn't answer your message, the end.


That some people will send a follow-up message!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not because they're creepy control freaks like you morons make them out to be, but BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, THEY ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU ACTUALLY SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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