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 AUTHOR
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 251
Mind the gapPage 11 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
While I can understand your feelings and you quest of honesty, there are many times where our definition of the brutal truth accomplishes nothing.
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You are going to the opposite extreme. Brutul honesty is just the opposite of a mindless compliment. It's an excuse to be negative for no reason.

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And instead by giving a complement on what they are doing right you can accomplish much, much more.
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I give compliments, but I make an effort to ensure it's something I really believe. I was referring to myself. I don't need the ego boost and complimenting me doesn't accomplish much with me, beyond giving me the idea that I shouldn't have bothered to ask. Being told what I did wrong matters more to me than being told what I did right. I usually already know what I did right.

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I find that a lot of times, those "brutal" honesty types just love to inflict pain and suffering in others and feed their own ego and sense of superiority.
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Yeah, but that is not what I'm talking about and I realize lots of people need that ego boost.

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Some of us look pretty good hungover and disheveled.....just sayin'! ;)
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If I wasn't taken, I'd offer to look into that because I'm betting you could make hungover and disheveled look pretty hot, especially with some strategically torn lingerie.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 252
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:26:23 PM
Oh, for heaven's sake, dragonbytes. If people are motivated to try weightlifting, they need a trainer to:

1. Learn how to set the machines to fit their body;
2. Learn to lift safely;
3. Use proper form to prevent injuries; and
4. Develop a personalized program based on their fitness level and goals.

Then they need to be motivated to continue exercising, stick with it, and not give up.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 253
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:29:57 PM

Then they need to be motivated to continue exercising, stick with it, and not give up.


Just hire someone to lift them for you.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 254
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:35:23 PM
"Oh, for heaven's sake, dragonbytes. If people are motivated to try weightlifting, they need a trainer to:

1. Learn how to set the machines to fit their body;
2. Learn to lift safely;
3. Use proper form to prevent injuries; and
4. Develop a personalized program based on their fitness level and goals.

Then they need to be motivated to continue exercising, stick with it, and not give up"

I should think with all the experience you have in personal fitness, you could easily be a personal trainer.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 255
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:35:58 PM

You're right about me quickly changing into a short, summer dress behind my car. I put on lipstick, stepped into sandals and said, "You can look now." He was amazed . .


pfft, he was amazed cuz mid hike you crochet'd up a pair of floss knickers to slip on under that summer dress,

reality is a ****, amirite?

as for the dewd that you felt needed teefs floss, how do you kaveat Kathy know it's teeth causing the bad breath? mebbe it's post nasal drip or acid reflux, could even be diabetes . .
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 256
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:38:32 PM

His breath stank like rotting meat. Tooth decay? Although I frequently handed him Altoids and breath mints


How many ? 10 ? 20 ?



I couldn't imagine kissing that.


You refer to a person as " that " ?



Repulsive.


Yes, your attitude sure is.



May I ask you a personal question?" I delicately asked. "How often do you floss your teeth?" Not very often, he admitted. Before we parted, I gave him dental floss from my purse and suggested he see a dentist.


You couldn't just say goodbye you had to humiliate him ? Punish him ?



He thanked me.


BS and if he did he probably was caught off guard - maybe he thought by thanking you he would somehow save SOME face.

That was a mean thing you did IMO and it is sad that a senior citizen still wouldn't have gained enough wisdom to even realize this.

GROW UP AND GET OVER YOURSELF !!!!
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 257
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 2:45:48 PM

"It's annoying when people are logically inconsistent in their statements.


Was L. H. exchange of dialogue actually annoying to you?

None of her statements contradicted one another. Perhaps in your mind or you're just trying to annoy her. Common around here.

(I'd explain to you what she wrote, but if you believed it was logically inconsistent, I would be wasting my time.)
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 258
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:02:43 PM
"It puts me in a bad spot to try to be their keeper and calorie counter. They will resent it."

Boy is this ever true. I had to depart from a fellow I met while hiking about 4 years back because he ate terribly, was putting on weight and also had a drinking problem, the extent of which I didn't realize until a couple months in. Once I realized how serious the drinking was I simply sat him down and told him our lifestyles were in conflict, and that I wanted him to be completely free to indulge, overeat and drink without me giving him "the stinkeye" about it. I told him it would only breed resentment. He appreciated the blunt honesty about it. It was a shame, because we had some good times together and connected on certain levels that were, quite frankly, pretty hot. Unfortunately, continuing to be together would be heartbreaking and frustrating, so at least we were able to drift away without a history of clashing and the dreaded "lectures about taking care of yourself" which I refuse to dole out, who needs it.

Last Sunday I got out of my car at the start of the hike that I now run, and guess who was standing there. After two years we meet again. The same 6' 4" handsome man standing there, and our hug is immediate and natural. Sadly, he is bigger than ever, at least another 20 pounds packed on. Laughing, walking and talking, it was easy to see why we got along so well. And looking at him, I could also see why I had to break it off.

It was a longer than usual kiss goodbye at the end of the night, and my heart ached.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 259
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:10:32 PM

The Literate Hiker is what most men would LIKE to see in a woman in her 60's.
Our Sally Field look-a-like is beautiful, healthy, high energy and positive.

It was a shame, because we had some good times together and connected on certain levels that were, quite frankly, pretty hot. Unfortunately, continuing to be together would be heartbreaking and frustrating, so at least we were able to drift away without a history of clashing and the dreaded "lectures about taking care of yourself" which I refuse to dole out, who needs it.


I concur...

both LH & VK, just keep on trucking!
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 260
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:12:38 PM

Because I am slender and fit, men are physically attracted to me.


Why don't You add the Part that is Implied here, too? That You are and they are not these things.....
When I read something like that, it brings Heinlein's Razor to mind.....


"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity, but don't rule out malice."


When a Highly Educated & Intelligent Person makes a comment like that, should I attribute it to Malice or Stupidity?

Then this song says much about it, too.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV69WBvFGBA
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 261
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:34:20 PM

I'm betting you could make hungover and disheveled look pretty hot, especially with some strategically torn lingerie.


Really? She could pull it off in boxers and a sweatshirt.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 262
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:39:11 PM
Mr. Crookcatcher!

Stop telling everyone what I where around my house! ;)
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 263
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:40:49 PM
^^^^ That's not even close to what I imagined

; )
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 264
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:42:12 PM
Malice? Stupidity? I don't know, a bit of both me thinks. At times I want to tell some people that they should be like a good perfume or a nice cologne, both are meant to be discovered and not thrown about as to be annoying to all around them. Let a few "discover" you instead of telling us how damn wonderful you are, because it's really, really annoying. And no Moderate (since been deleted for being a dork), not envious, not envious at all. When someone constantly puts down the men they date (or women), I don't care how cute, educated or fit they are, it reflects back on them as being an idiot.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 265
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:45:25 PM

Often the feeling is not mutual. I just turned down a man who listed himself as "average," but turned out "BIG and TALL/BBW."

I enjoyed L's company, and found him generous, warm, relaxed, funny and intelligent. We are both liberals and atheists.

Unfortunately, L. is badly overweight and out of shape, and has had erectile dysfunction for 10 years. Sigh. I would be more attracted to L. if he lost weight (50 lbs.?), exercised and had some muscle definition. Cardiovascular exercise and weightlifting spring to mind. But only he can motivate himself to exercise and eat right. He would resent me if I nagged.

I need an athletic man to be able to hike and relax with, and maintain our mutual attraction. This is quite a challenge even for physically fit people these days. Badly overweight people seem to be the norm now in my age range.


Then HOW did a "badly overweight" guy ever even get to the meet stage if you require pictures and reject anyone who isn't athletic?????!!!!

Mindboggling.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 266
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 3:45:40 PM
Not what I imagine either, Mr. Witness!

Y'all don't want to even know how I picture each one of you when I read your posts! ;) ;) :D
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 267
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:02:41 PM

Y'all don't want to even know how I picture each one of you when I read your posts! ;) ;) :D


I picture them Naked, Sitting in a Bean Bag Chair, & Eating Cheetos.........
It keeps Me from taking them Seriously, at all........
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 268
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:12:47 PM
^^^
Add a bottle of wine and lubriderm to that equation:)

Damn stalactite just hit me in the head...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 269
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:14:59 PM
I would say willing to be someone's dental hygienist but
not their nutritionist is pretty inconsistent. I think at
least 75% of her posts are bs anyway. She may be athletic
and attractive, but her empathy and compassion is sadly
lacking.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 270
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:31:51 PM
"You are one of the nicest and most direct people that I know from online communication," a male forum regular wrote to me yesterday. It's surprising how differently people interpret my words.

I understand how my saying that I am not attracted to badly overweight, out of shape men would upset people who are overweight. It feels like a direct slam. I understand that.

We all have our preferences, and are attracted to certain personalities and body types.

Two men said I was too thin. One man lashed out, "You have a stick figure," after I said we do not make a good match. And the man I dated last summer said, "I want a woman who is physically fit like you, but with bigger breasts and more meat in the hip area." I told him that was hurtful. I will never forget it.

I think it's funny that he is now dating a woman who weighs less than me. "Don't hurt her feelings like you did with me," I told him.

How did a badly overweight man fool me regarding his body type? He posted OLD PHOTOS. I'm sure we all have experienced this deception.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 271
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:36:19 PM


Y'all don't want to even know how I picture each one of you when I read your posts! ;) ;) :D


I picture them Naked, Sitting in a Bean Bag Chair, & Eating Cheetos.........
It keeps Me from taking them Seriously, at all........


Don't forget the pink bunny slippers.
To clash with the orange fingertips and keep the tootsies toasty.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 272
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:45:58 PM
A lot of the posters in here I've put voices to.
i usually only imagine them as they are in their
pictures, but I always read the posts in my head
with different voices. ..haha!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 273
view profile
History
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:46:04 PM

Stop telling everyone what I where around my house! ;)


KJ that isn't what you told me you are wearing around the house. Please tell me CC's description is incorrect. PLEASE!


I would say willing to be someone's dental hygienist but
not their nutritionist is pretty inconsistent.


Actually, it makes perfect sense to me. A dental hygienist makes much more money than a nutritionist. :)
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 274
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:56:58 PM
I relax around the house wearing black lace panties and a cotton tank top.

 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 275
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 4:57:42 PM
@Boo...I do the voice thing too!

@LH.....You're just not getting it. You insult overweight people and you think they are offended because they are
jealous of you.....it's just not true!

Most everybody has insecurities and should be able to laugh about themselves...I enjoy and like people who can be a little
self deprecating, rather than too pretentious....imo.
People that constantly.....need to remind everyone else how "hot, slim, athletic, smart, good in bed or whatever....have issues..imo.
They are annoying....who talks like that?

Your shell is much more beautiful and likable when your inside is as pleasant as your outside.
I guess....the old saying...You can't have it all...is true in most circumstances!
There are some wonderful, sensible, real ladies/men on here....they're likable..to most people because they display a good heart with
empathy and humour towards others.
Now.....I am not putting myself in that list...don't worry.
I have a temper and can be b1tchy...no doubt..
But I own it! I know who I am and have no problem relating to most people...
I wouldn't trade a day inside your body or mind....I'm quite proud of "me".

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