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 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 301
Mind the gapPage 13 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

I wasn't speaking in the general sense.


Duh. You were just speaking in the mean sense.

LH was speaking in the general sense. She wasn't asking if you liked her.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 302
view profile
History
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:33:51 PM
2 days and 7 pages, people arguing about what may or may not have been a joke that could have been an insult but really is a joke but insulting even though it's harmless because it's a joke that turned into a argument about cliques and whether or not insults were thrown at a guy who's breath smelled like shit and fat people because LH saying she gets dates because she's thin and in shape is a subliminal diss to fat, overweight people but it can't be a diss to overweight, ugly people because it's the truth but how can it be the truth? What is the truth?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 303
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:36:56 PM
Oh please. People get called on their bullshit
all the time in here. If you really liked her, you'd
be her friend and tell her that her straight shooting
is often times offensive.

People also apologize all the time in here.
As some have pointed out, we type, we realize
we might be harsh and we delete or we choose to
post.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 304
view profile
History
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:42:32 PM

2 days and 7 pages, people arguing about what may or may not have been a joke that could have been an insult but really is a joke but insulting even though it's harmless because it's a joke that turned into a argument about cliques and whether or not insults were thrown at a guy who's breath smelled like shit and fat people because LH saying she gets dates because she's thin and in shape is a subliminal diss to fat, overweight people but it can't be a diss to overweight, ugly people because it's the truth but how can it be the truth? What is the truth?


Aw, this is nothing. You should see how many pages were devoted to arguing as to why the chicken crossed the road. Now that was legend!
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 305
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:42:55 PM

You were just speaking in the mean sense.


Don't you mean that I was offering up simple honesty? Here, have some floss.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 306
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:43:14 PM

Duh. You were just speaking in the mean sense.

Why do you call it in the 'mean' sense?
EDITED: As Joe points out, it's an honest answer.

There's a lot of acrimony directed at fat people - more so than at thin people. I will tell you that, as a slender woman, your chances of dating are a lot better than mine. That truly does not bother me one bit because I only desire one really great guy and you (the general, plural you) can have all the rest.

EDITED: Blackwood - Not only am I fat, I'm ugly. Not Hollywood ugly but ... dare I say it ... Walmart ugly. *sigh* On the up side, I've got a great personality. ;-)
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 307
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:43:23 PM

If stirring the pot doesn't work anymore, lick the s poon.


That probably wouldn't hurt at all.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 308
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:44:25 PM

^ Why would anyone doubt her? 'Cause she's today's scapegoat.


I see that.

I don't think I would ever give a stranger dental floss. It stretches the bounds of politeness. I have been on dates where I could smell the guy's breath across the table. No, I wouldn't go out with him again, and no it's not my job to tell him why. God knows I don't want some strange man telling me he was turned off by my gray roots or silly laugh.

However, when LH says men tend to compliment her or be attracted to her figure, I don't think she is being full of herself and in need of a snide remark. She didn't say all men love her because she is perfect. She specifically said men like her body type. I happen to think that is a reasonable self-assessment.


See, I immediately thought of Agatha Christie and her significantly younger archaeologist husband. They were deeply in love, and she outlived him.


LMAO!
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 309
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:45:26 PM
Here's the thing though:

Not many are open with their own personal experiences because so many here just hang around so they can be snarky about those that do. LH is pretty transparent about her experiences in the dating world. And many just dump on her for that. If this is going to a forum where people can come and talk, then this ugliness won't let that work.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 310
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:50:42 PM
^^^^^
From all the complaints I see posted, maybe she's the only person who gets dates.

ETA (below)
Perhaps he was letting her know that body type does not make up for what may be considered fundamental personality differences. How is it an insult to say 'I don't find you attractive'? I've heard that a lot and I've never taken umbrage.

If there was no question, then perhaps it was a correction to an assumption.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 311
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:51:59 PM

Why do you call it in the 'mean' sense?


Because the poster was specifically telling LH he doesn't find her attractive. That's below the belt IMO.


There's a lot of acrimony directed at fat people - more so than at thin people. I will tell you that, as a slender woman, your chances of dating are a lot better than mine. That truly does not bother me one bit because I only desire one really great guy and you (the general, plural you) can have all the rest.


Yes, I know that, and I am not saying it is right, either. But nobody was insulting LH for being thin. The poster insulted LH because she said that men generally find her body type physically attractive. His response was intended to take her down a peg, to be mean. In no way was LH being insulted for being fit. Not even close.

EDIT


EDITED: As Joe points out, it's an honest answer.


There was no question. I guarantee LH wasn't asking him if he found her attractive.
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 312
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 8:52:50 PM
OMG, look up the word "narcissist", it fits. Halftimedad, "narcissist" trumps "transparent" and "look at me, look at me" trumps "open with their own experiences".
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 313
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 9:06:32 PM

ETA (below)
Perhaps he was letting her know that body type does not make up for what may be considered fundamental personality differences.


I don't think there is any "perhaps" about what he was letting her know.


How is it an insult to say 'I don't find you attractive'? I've heard that a lot and I've never taken umbrage.


Well, generally when Person A says (privately in most cases!) I don't find you attractive, it is because person B has expressed an in interest. It is an answer to an inquiry. Did LH say she was attracted to Joe? No. Did she ask Joe if he liked her? No. Both the setting and the context are different from your ( and most of us at some point! ) experience of being told someone is not attracted to you.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 314
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 9:16:33 PM

OMG, look up the word "narcissist", it fits. Halftimedad, "narcissist" trumps "transparent" and "look at me, look at me" trumps "open with their own experiences".


Oh for Christ's sakes. Now you're calling her a narcissist because she talks about her dating experiences in threads about dating on a dating site. Here's a couple of words you could look up: harridan, harpy.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 315
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 9:19:20 PM
22Susie22
Privately? Yes, I've been told privately.
I've also been told I'm not attractive in a crowded parking lot by a friend, by a 'boyfriend' after sex, by guys driving down the street, by complete strangers.
Did I ask?
No.
Sometimes the truth hurts.
Take value from the truth and grow, leave the pain behind.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 316
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 9:29:08 PM

Privately? Yes, I've been told privately.
I've also been told I'm not attractive in a crowded parking lot by a friend, by a 'boyfriend' after sex, by guys driving down the street, by complete strangers.
Did I ask?
No.


I'm sorry that you have had those experiences. People can be****.


Sometimes the truth hurts.


But what's the truth? Is the truth that you are not attractive, or is the truth that some ***holes wanted to hurt you, or maybe even make themselves feel better by hurling insults at you?

At some point, someone you liked or loved has found you attractive. That's the only thing that matters anyway.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 317
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 9:29:17 PM

There was no question. I guarantee LH wasn't asking him if he found her attractive.


I would be willing to wager that her date didn't ask is she had any floss. Care to take me up on that?


I see that you are from the land of another former poster - one that called me "an older, uglier version of the Despicable Me guy." Mean? Par for the course.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 318
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 9:30:16 PM


I've also been told I'm not attractive


Anyone that has the gall to tell someone that...is unattractive to the core.


Ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on show them what you're worth
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave them all in awe
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 319
view profile
History
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 10:58:26 PM
I do believe if many of LH critics had been here before (as in for a few years) they would give more leeway because they would understand better her style of flittering back and forth between open, raw, from the "self" comments to almost completely detached 3rd person-ish comments. They might even notice when she switches "where she's coming from" as far as "how far in" she's willing to comment from (how far into her "self") and why she's "talking from" a certain "layer" at that time. She is very layered, IMO, and chooses to give (or not) glimpses into those layers. There are one or two or three "layers" she uses often here, but some have seen (rarely) the deeper ones ... sometimes to the core.

LH always reminds me of a robin's egg (the easter candy kind, but not Cadbury's). There's the layers, but there's also the speckles. She's like a little bird, too, sometimes.

This is from my mind, because my mind sees the pieces (first) before the whole.

Personally, when LH says something that shocks me, I think "Oh no you didn't do/say that" but then I also think "that's just her" (as in one of those parts of her).

Hope you don't mind too much I singled you out LH

Note: someone commented they "hear" certain voices reading the forums. I sometimes get pictures associated. One poster reminds me of the grandfather clock in Beauty and the beast. My mind is entertaining, at least ... lol.

-------------------------------

Not related to LH but to others whose approaches really seem to not function well (uniformly) here ...

My mind is also 'informational". When you think like that, it tends to come out as "instructional" if you aren't very careful. It's natural, so it's going against "nature" to make a conscious effort to choose words and sentences for it not to be so (I actually had to see a counselor before being allowed to continue in a degree program I was in in collage to "fix" this problem). I've seen like-minded people get a lot of negative feedback for posts that I 'saw' nothing wrong with here on the forums. For me, they are an easy read. I simply don't see the offense people have taken. I'm sure the people doing the offending don't fully understand what they did or the backlash either.

Just something to keep in mind.

I think people with these very logical minds are, say, 8 degrees from the lowest forms of Asperger. They try to find a writing style (delivery) that gets their message across in a "world" that doesn't seem to really "get" what they are saying all of the time (or how they are saying it). They feel misunderstood. Very often I have to say "no, that's not what I meant" or "do you know what I mean? am I saying it correctly?" It can really become a conscious effort just to communicate effectively.

People also use intellectualize to keep a safe bubble from certain things ...either tentatively stepping into something unknown (a group, feelings, etc) or as a straight out disassociation from the subject matter (for what ever reason they need to approach it that way). It's also commonly used defense mechanism.

Just more stuff to consider.

Edit to above ...it's fun to do that song in ASL. The "fireworks" sign is the most fun :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOEdqV5iRcY

and if you enjoyed that one, this one is fun too ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kyb85c3Wnfo
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 320
view profile
History
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/26/2015 11:42:25 PM

Anyone that has the gall to tell someone that...is unattractive to the core.


Yeah, that's some serious ugly.

I sign parts of this to a client who is nonverbal because of an un repairable clef palliate, but that same "deformity" gives her the most amazing smile, and honest to God, when she smiles and laughs she truly is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I've never seen one person make so many people happy as I have her when she laughs in public. She lights up, and the people around her do too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vrboKNjpMk
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 321
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/27/2015 3:28:01 AM
There is something my grandmother always used to say and I surely believe a good number of people need to take it to heart.

Pretty is as pretty does.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 322
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/27/2015 3:41:49 AM
Ms. Spot? Do we have the same Grandmother? :)



Just last month when that woman said that phrase to me....I fixed both of us a lovely dirty martini and said....

"In that case, by martini number three....we are going to be stunningly gorgeous!"

**She didn't find that funny until martini number 2 :/
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 323
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/27/2015 3:47:30 AM
^^^^ I miss my grandmother every day.

Maybe I'll pop down there and have martinis with you and yours. I'm sure she would evoke fond memories.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 324
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/27/2015 4:14:43 AM
Ms. Spot....

I can imagine your loss and my heart goes out to you as my grandmother is the most beautiful woman I know.
Her inner beauty and wisdom just radiates from her. But it is her sassy and a tad bit wicked side that tickles me to no end which comes out with a martini or two.
I tell her all the time that when I grow up I want to be just like her!

So come on down....I will gladly share. :)
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 325
Mind the gap
Posted: 8/27/2015 5:01:33 AM

So when one poster has said so much to offend so many and most are calling her on it --why isn't it considered in the same light as her handing a man dental floss--he needed it--she needed it.

It is a known fact that people who have very poor dental hygiene have certain serious health risks associated w/ them as well. IMO LH did the man a favor on 2 levels: she gave him a clue as to be more "dateable" AND incentive that could potentially save his life/add years to it.


Duh. You were just speaking in the mean sense.
LH was speaking in the general sense. She wasn't asking if you liked her.

I concur. sraight shooter VS bitter/mean


2 days and 7 pages, people arguing about what may or may not have been a joke that could have been an insult but really is a joke but insulting even though it's harmless because it's a joke that turned into a argument about cliques and whether or not insults were thrown at a guy who's breath smelled like shit and fat people because LH saying she gets dates because she's thin and in shape is a subliminal diss to fat, overweight people but it can't be a diss to overweight, ugly people because it's the truth but how can it be the truth? What is the truth?

The majority of the men out there dating prefer certain body types. How is that fact so offensive?


Oh please. People get called on their bullshit
all the time in here. If you really liked her, you'd
be her friend and tell her that her straight shooting
is often times offensive.

I find LH a breath of fresh air!


There's a lot of acrimony directed at fat people - more so than at thin people. I will tell you that, as a slender woman, your chances of dating are a lot better

Moreso in the dating world of OLD bec. of the rampant gross misrepresentation w/ pictures.


don't think I would ever give a stranger dental floss. It stretches the bounds of politeness. I have been on dates where I could smell the guy's breath across the table. No, I wouldn't go out with him again, and no it's not my job to tell him why. God knows I don't want some strange man telling me he was turned off by my gray roots or silly laugh.

That is you BUT LH was being LH & frankly any man who shows up for a DATE w/ stanky breath should be prepared to accept the consequences. IMO she did him a favor.


However, when LH says men tend to compliment her or be attracted to her figure, I don't think she is being full of herself and in need of a snide remark. She didn't say all men love her because she is perfect. She specifically said men like her body type. I happen to think that is a reasonable self-assessment.

Agreed. She's not full of herself or stupid either.


Not many are open with their own personal experiences because so many here just hang around so they can be snarky about those that do. LH is pretty transparent about her experiences in the dating world. And many just dump on her for that. If this is going to a forum where people can come and talk, then this ugliness won't let that work

OLD & the internet tends to be a place where people can get away w/ such behavior..."SHE'S A WITCH, LET'S BURN HER!"


From all the complaints I see posted, maybe she's the only person who gets dates.



Because the poster was specifically telling LH he doesn't find her attractive. That's below the belt IMO.
But nobody was insulting LH for being thin. The poster insulted LH because she said that men generally find her body type physically attractive. His response was intended to take her down a peg, to be mean. In no way was LH being insulted for being fit. Not even close.
There was no question. I guarantee LH wasn't asking him if he found her attractive.



Oh for Christ's sakes. Now you're calling her a narcissist because she talks about her dating experiences in threads about dating on a dating site. Here's a couple of words you could look up: harridan, harpy.



I think people with these very logical minds are, say, 8 degrees from the lowest forms of Asperger. They try to find a writing style (delivery) that gets their message across in a "world" that doesn't seem to really "get" what they are saying all of the time (or how they are saying it).


I agree, but also...many people get ONLY WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR!
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