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 AUTHOR
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 51
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History
AGE GAPPage 3 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
It should be clear to any child in the land that a man with the good fortune to have the qualities evinced by the OP should easily be able to attract women in their early forties. He simply needs to find a productive pond in which to fish, such as LA or the OC where attractive younger women are abundantly available.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 52
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/20/2015 8:09:36 PM
Thank you, Ouija and Blackwood. I appreciate it.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 53
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 7:57:45 AM

"yet the old horn dogs think they gonna hit it with someone 20 years their junior"


Since my breakup the ONLY women 'I hit it with' were more than 20 years my junior. Nothing I'm proud of. I met them in a nearby bar. I guess I'm easy after a few drinks.

My sister tried to fix me up with her 40 year old girlfriend. She was gorgeous and willing. I suspect she wanted my money and would probably kill me at a later date. I rejected the setup. Too young!

My ex-brother-in-law's wife is 18 years younger than him. They're still together after 25 years of marriage. She still looks great. My guess his millions got a bit to do with their longevity. He was a close friend of mine since childhood and prior to his millions. After the first few millions he turned into a jerk.

Over the last 2 years I dated 7 women close to my age - no sex. One I dated for 3 months. We kissed and hugged after our 2nd date. Then she said, "Too fast! It will be worth the wait." I was just giving her a goodnight kiss. No other motive. She was 61, perhaps in better shape than LH.

The 2 local bars by me are populated with women in their 40's. The dim lighting in both places apparently helps to camouflage my age. One bar has a ladies' night - the women drink for free. Maybe it's the drinks.

(I haven't been to those bars in about a year. Since my latest hair lose, hair color change, and that sudden sagging skin under my chin I've been a little self conscience about looking like an old horn dog.)
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 54
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:19:47 AM
Some of these posts sound like they belong in the AARP version of Letters to Penthouse.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 55
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:31:50 AM

It should be clear to any child in the land that a man with the good fortune to have the qualities evinced by the OP should easily be able to attract women in their early forties. He simply needs to find a productive pond in which to fish, such as LA or the OC where attractive younger women are abundantly available.


What good qualities? Not saying he's not a good guy or anything, but what makes him better than the average man in his mid sixties?
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 56
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:32:36 AM
sorry it posted twice
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 57
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:48:56 AM

Some of these posts sound like they belong in the AARP version of Letters to Penthouse.


Aww...it's just reflecting on what Bruce was referring to...

Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

Well there's a girl that lives up the block
Back in school she could turn all the boy's heads
Sometimes on a Friday I'll stop by
And have a few drinks after she put her kids to bed
Her and her husband Bobby well they split up
I guess it's two years gone by now
We just sit around talking about the old times,
She says when she feels like crying
She starts laughing thinking about

Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days

Think I'm going down to the well tonight
And I'm going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory, well time slips away
And leaves you with nothing mister but
Boring stories of......

Barring the alternative, we're all going there. :)
 Moderate_Recall
Joined: 3/1/2015
Msg: 58
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:50:02 AM

What good qualities?


He appears to be a relatively fit outdoorsman who hikes, likes cats and can apparently lift huge boulders.

And has been up Half Dome 10 years ago after I was there. I didn't see any Mt Whitney pics though.

Now can the "average" man in his mid 60s do all that, from the coffee table with his remote?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 59
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 8:56:42 AM

What good qualities?


Ability to swim 3 pools.
Run two marathons, back to back.
Have sex with seven beauties (in his computer).
Drink a gallon of milk in one sitting.
Watch back to back, football, basketball, baseball games and eating 4 bags of potato chips.
Have money to buy the blue pills and wonder about the warning "If an erection last more than 4 hours..."
Walk his dog around the block and pick up his poop in a warm plastic bag.
Change his/her car oil (although improperly disposing of the old oil).
Ability to actually understand the content of a Cosmo magazine without going "wha'ta f...."


Okay,
Pick two. That's all you get.

Hehehehe
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 60
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 9:00:16 AM
LOL, Literate Hiker,

At age 61, I am done with menopause (the migraine headaches were awful) ................


Exactly! THIS, "(the migraine headaches......)" is the DURING phase,
"The hormonal changes we often experience, /suffer thru, physical as well as emotional, can be minor, to O-M-G!" Resulting in,
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO bite!"

To the best of my knowledge, a woman can not predict how well, or poorly, she will pass thru her late 40 years to mid 50 years. There is some genetics in play here, but every woman's experience is different.

The AFTER phase can be:


1. Libido is still high;
2. Haven't dried up like an old prune;
3. High energy (as always);
4. Happy and optimistic (as usual); and................


Absolutely, the possibilities are, open ended. We have the freedom to do as we wish! Whoo hoo!

The bottom line here is:
An OLD site can set the rules.
POF chooses to set a contact age restriction +/- 14 years.
Don't like it? Don't use POF.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 61
view profile
History
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 9:36:07 AM
Msg 56 ....

Stop underselling yourself. Women in their 40's are in their sexual prime. If they wanted you they wanted you.

I myself found that I went through phases of different things in my 40's that aroused me (and to a much greater degree of intensity) that didn't phase me much in my 20's and first half of 30's ... I won't name them all because some are inappropriate here ... but connection, of course, became a biggie, but also other odd things like a person's hands, the feel of their hair, the way they stood or walked, all kinds of things.

I seemed to have gone through phases where my focus was on a certain thing for a while.

Menopause ... not looking forward to that (I really didn't need to know migraines might be included ... that would be worse for me than anything menopausal). It's been suggested that I may be starting it because I've found myself uncharacteristically snapping at people (like, I can't even believe I did). I asked my mom is sex was really gone after menopause and she said not for her. She said the hot flashes were a pain, but the worse for her was the sudden rush of "out of the blue" anger that just came over her. Oh boy.

As far as sex, I will be blunt. Personally, I only really really want it during 3 defined (I've noticed) times of the month. It only lasts 1-4 days each. A few days a month I can take it or leave it, but other than that, no, I really don't want to be bothered. I still have a child at home, a over-involved work life, grand babies and tons of family. The biggest thing is I'm at a point in life where I actually have time for what "I" want to peruse. There is no way I would want to go back to the time in my 20's (with 3 kids, working, school) where a partner wants sex almost everyday or wants me to get him off while I'm trying to get through my day. I don't want approached and bothered while I'm trying to work or get things done. Don't misinterpret this to be cold ... I am highly orgasmic and I love love love this phase of my life as far as sexuality, but I have other things I want to do with my life too that don't include an obligation for constant sex that I'm not interested in.

Water seeks it's own level. For me, sexually, a 10 year difference is a good match. Just like activity level (I won't be hiking every weekend or going to the gym with you 3xs a week), we choose people who fit out lifestyle. If that means a 48 year old woman finds a 62 year old man to be compatible with her lifestyle/activity/sexual desires than so be it (or vice versa). In the end, we only have our own lives to live and striving to live it in peace and compatibility can't be a bad thing.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 62
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 10:32:40 AM
We live in a society where 50% of American marriages end in divorce. There are no guarantees that dating someone your age will last.

I read this quote the other day and it really resonates with me:

“The most important factor is to be honest, not only with the other person but also with yourself. Can you honestly say that you would rather be with him or her than anyone else? At the end of the day, do you look forward to being with your partner? If so, then something is working, and you’re fortunate, no matter what the age difference.”


Age Differences in Relationships: Good or Bad?
A visitor to my website writes that he has fallen in love with a woman who is fourteen years his senior. He tells me that he generally goes for people his own age, but that he’s never felt so good about any relationship. He asks if this is wrong.

First of all, congratulations! Second, my primary definition of a “wrong” relationship is one that leads to unhappiness for either or both parties. Tolerating or inflicting physical or mental abuse is wrong. Staying with someone only out of nostalgia or pity is also wrong. According to my ethical perspective, genuine happiness is never wrong. It sounds like you’re happy, and I trust your partner is as well. What could be wrong with that?

A relationship with an age difference (within legal boundaries, of course) ought to be approached like any other. Is there compatibility? Are there common values? Are there enough differences to make it interesting but not so many as to make sustained companionship impossible? Of course, there are unique aspects as well. For example, the younger person has less life experience, and the wider the age difference, the greater that challenge can be.

As in any relationship, there has to be intellectual compatibility. But mental abilities and life experience are not the same. An older person may respect how bright the younger person is, in spite of the lack of experience. People who are happy in such relationships don’t see the age difference as a challenge. The younger partner likes being with someone who has experience and wisdom; the older partner enjoys the younger partner’s youth and vigor. Issues related to age are not nearly as significant as a real connection and the ability to sustain it over time.

The late actor Tony Randall married a younger woman after his wife of many years died. Tony Randall was 75 years old and Heather 25. They had two children, something he and his first wife never did. They remained married until his death, in May 2004. I’m sure it was hard on his younger wife and kids to lose him. But would it have been better if he had never remarried, spending his final years lonely and sad? Would his widow be better off never having loved him? I say no, because I always vote for happiness above knee-jerk responses based on emotion and bias.

The most important factor is to be honest, not only with the other person but also with yourself. Can you honestly say that you would rather be with him or her than anyone else? At the end of the day, do you look forward to being with your partner? If so, then something is working, and you’re fortunate, no matter what the age difference.

Wikipedia points out that, “In some societies, age-disparate relationships are seen as aberrant or even perverse. Historically, the ‘gold digger’ mentality has been frowned upon as being akin to prostitution.” One of the easiest things to do is to be judgmental, because making a snap judgment based only on bias requires no thought. “Gold digger” does not apply where two people truly love each other. Financial circumstances can vary, but love tells the tale, and only the people involved know for sure if it’s the real thing.

Of course there are relationships that fail because of age issues. Needs and basic values can sometimes change between one’s early years and later in life. Yet, my experience has shown that it’s more the presence of extreme youth that creates the problem, rather than the age difference. The same thing applies when two young people marry, only to realize that one or both of them chose to marry too soon.

If you’re pursuing a relationship with an age disparity, and it bothers you, then try to figure out why. Are you happy with your partner, but dislike the idea of the age difference? Do you worry about what others think, even though you’re happy? Those are wrong reasons to hesitate.

If the age difference is bothering you because you genuinely feel frustration over a lack of compatibility, then that’s a valid reason for pause. But, above all, don’t let bias or baseless prejudice stand in the way of your happiness. Love and joy trump everything.

https://drhurd.com/55038/


 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 63
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 10:40:13 AM

What good qualities? Not saying he's not a good guy or anything, but what makes him better than the average man in his mid sixties?


There are some woman that prefer older men---I am one of them. Just because you only date men within five years of your own age doesn't mean all other women feel the same way.

Personally, I think the age restrictions need to go---they're an insult to our intelligence. Hopefully, with this dating site being sold to another dating site that doesn't have age restrictions, they will soon be lifted.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 64
view profile
History
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 11:14:29 AM

halcyon_skies
There are some woman that prefer older men---I am one of them. Just because you only date men within five years of your own age doesn't mean all other women feel the same way.

Now this is what the world needs – more beautiful women with this viewpoint! (smile)


halcyon_skies
Hopefully, with this dating site being sold to another dating site that doesn't have age restrictions, they will soon be lifted.

The same conglomerate bought up Ok*Cupid a few years back, and to the best of my knowledge made no changes whatsoever. Certainly nothing that was noticeable to me.

Basically, I think we’re just going to have to follow what Ladyinred4755 says here:


An OLD site can set the rules.
POF chooses to set a contact age restriction +/- 14 years.
Don't like it? Don't use POF.

I find myself using other sites more these days for pursuing dates. And most (but not all) of my dates fall well within the 14 year age difference.

Now, on to the last point. To be honest, I was a little afraid to touch this one, but I do believe it needs to be commented on:

Bebedeleau
As far as sex, I will be blunt. Personally, I only really really want it during 3 defined (I've noticed) times of the month. It only lasts 1-4 days each. A few days a month I can take it or leave it, but other than that, no, I really don't want to be bothered.

What we’re talking about here is basically once every 10 days? Or maybe twice in a row and then a 10 day pause? I just can’t see any man being interested, I really can’t. Or at least not interested in a long term committed relationship, anyway. Maybe spend Saturday night with you every other weekend, and the rest of the time be free to pursue other women?
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 65
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 11:36:30 AM

My point is the OP should date women around his own age.


why? and why do you care? it's not like he's chasing down teens or even the resident 30yr old 'veal' (*cough, who the
hell would gnaw on 30yr old veal), I digress . .


1. Libido is still high;
2. Haven't dried up like an old prune;
3. High energy (as always);
4. Happy and optimistic (as usual); and
5. Still hiking, weightlifting and having fun in life.


^ still doesn't change the fact you're an old woman, do it gracefully ffs

to the OP, the restrictions are insulting
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 66
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 11:52:22 AM

There are some woman that prefer older men---I am one of them. Just because you only date men within five years of your own age doesn't mean all other women feel the same way.


Well, sure, but I don't think you prefer them only because they are older. They need to meet your other criteria, yes?


He appears to be a relatively fit outdoorsman who hikes, likes cats and can apparently lift huge boulders.


I guess if you like cats and hiking, that's great.

Again, no offense to the OP specifically, but he is 5'5" and his profile says he drinks often.

For a lot of women ( no not all) those are definitely not items in the plus column.

He's an average mid sixties guy. Nothing wrong with that. But he's got nothing that is going to excite an average 40 year old woman, IMO.
 Moderate_Recall
Joined: 3/1/2015
Msg: 67
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 12:07:55 PM
^^^ Maybe not that one.



But he's got nothing that is going to excite an average 40 year old woman, IMO.


But if you did read all the way through, he has a brain, maybe belongs to the MARS Society, has traveled far and wide ( maybe not quite THAT far yet... ) and I know ladies 30s-70 around the San Diego area that would likely enjoy his company.

There are not that many "The most interesting men in the World" types except in ads, certainly very few with all those true credentials that I have seen out socializing locally.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 68
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 12:44:06 PM

his profile says he drinks often.

For a lot of women ( no not all) those are definitely not items in the plus column.



Ahhhhh, FFS!!!!!!

I wish somebody would tell me this kinda shiat beforehand.

It's almost like I'm wasting time when I hanging around here.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 69
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 12:44:28 PM

Well, sure, but I don't think you prefer them only because they are older. They need to meet your other criteria, yes?


The topic of the OP is "Age Gap", not "Leagues". You seem to have the two confused.


I guess if you like cats and hiking, that's great.

Again, no offense to the OP specifically, but he is 5'5" and his profile says he drinks often.

For a lot of women ( no not all) those are definitely not items in the plus column.

He's an average mid sixties guy. Nothing wrong with that. But he's got nothing that is going to excite an average 40 year old woman, IMO.


No matter what someone looks like or how old they are, if they're adults, they should have the freedom to pursue people that interest them---just as you have the right to accept people or turn them down.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 70
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 1:18:56 PM

He's an average mid sixties guy. Nothing wrong with that. But he's got nothing that is going to excite an average 40 year old woman, IMO.


Maybe so. It's not like he said he was messaging dozens of 40's something women, only referenced one. But regardless, by their 40's most women know how to curtail unwanted communication. Personally I don't see a lot of disparity between 60 and late 40's if both are healthy and fit.

10-12 years is not a big difference in mid and later life imo. 20 years maybe so.

My dad is 85 this past July his wife of 23 years is 65. He and I went and had our first beer in a dive bar on my last visit and during our conversation we talked about age differences in a relationship/marriage and he said that up until the last few years he had never really thought about the difference in age but over the last couple began to regret having gotten involved with someone with that big of an age difference because now the difference was visually obvious (he's 6'3 225 head full of hair) but he looks like he's an old man...hell he should he's 85. But he feels embarassed for her when they go out to social functions etc. and people assume he's her father initially. He says she's never said anything about it, but he can see and feel the akwardness at times.

This conversation included his revealing that his cancer had returned for the third time and he wasn't going through the chemo and radiation anymore just because of how it would affect her and the responsibilities that would fall upon her involving his care.

He said in his typical way...... I'm 85 why in the hell would I put her and myself through that....so I can maybe reach 90? He just laughed and ordered another beer.
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 71
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 3:11:23 PM
^^^ Very nice post and comments regarding your father. You can't beat 23 years happy and toss that away because of some preconceived opinion regarding age. As well, Halcyon is right too in that people should choose who they wish to spend their time with or their life with.

As for the original man who started this thread, I see he got comments about being "too" old and "too" short but did anyone fully read his profile as he is also "too" interesting but those that are "too" narrow minded didn't mention that.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 72
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 3:33:34 PM

He and I went and had our first beer in a dive bar on my last visit and during our conversation we talked about age differences in a relationship/marriage and he said that up until the last few years he had never really thought about the difference in age but over the last couple began to regret having gotten involved with someone with that big of an age difference because now the difference was visually obvious (he's 6'3 225 head full of hair) but he looks like he's an old man...hell he should he's 85. But he feels embarassed for her when they go out to social functions etc. and people assume he's her father initially. He says she's never said anything about it, but he can see and feel the akwardness at times.

This conversation included his revealing that his cancer had returned for the third time and he wasn't going through the chemo and radiation anymore just because of how it would affect her and the responsibilities that would fall upon her involving his care.


Sorry to read about your father.

I am sure the previous chemo and radiation had taken it's toll on his health and looking old.

But we all get there one way or another. My uncle was quite frail and shrunken looking at 90.

I have discussed with my wife about what she will do when I am 85 and she is 63, it's an issue we are aware of.

And I had a young woman of 19 or so contact me interesting in marriage. I can't imagine how it would feel for either of us for me to be 85 and her to be 40. It was the second thought that entered my mind, the first thought was I would likely have to pay for her schooling. That wouldn't seem natural to me.
 22susie22
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 73
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 4:19:22 PM

No matter what someone looks like or how old they are, if they're adults, they should have the freedom to pursue people that interest them---just as you have the right to accept people or turn them down.


Of course they can. I never suggested otherwise. However, dating is a numbers game, and I am merely observing that I think 40ish women who will want to date a man his mid sixties who drinks more than three times a week and who is 5'5" will be rather few in number. Hopefully the OP will find a wonderful 40 ish woman who thinks he's the cat's ass.

Furthermore, I don't see the point in complaining about the features offered to me on a free site. It is what it is.


There are not that many "The most interesting men in the World" types except in ads, certainly very few with all those true credentials that I have seen out socializing locally.


Whatever floats yer boat :)
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 74
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 4:40:28 PM
The original poster says in his profile he is a "lite drinker". I know many people who have a glass of wine every night with dinner, one glass, yet that qualifies them for "more than 3 times a week". To me this is not a problem drinker or alcoholic. And some people don't worry about height, especially when the person is interesting or wonderful to them. Many people in their 40s, 50s and beyond don't seem to worry as much about height, hair, wrinkles and fluff as much and tend to focus on reality like what is inside a person and what attracts them or draws them to a person. I don't think too many women have tossed Tom Cruise out of bed for being 5'7".

He wasn't so much complaining about the feature about age but complaining that the site never used to have an age feature.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 75
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 5:52:28 PM

still doesn't change the fact you're an old woman, do it gracefully ffs

Babblefish,

There is not reason to be nasty.

Of course I know I am 61. I don't feel old. That's what matters.
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