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 AUTHOR
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 76
AGE GAPPage 4 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

CrookCatcher :
This conversation included his revealing that his cancer had returned for the third time and he wasn't going through the chemo and radiation anymore just because of how it would affect her and the responsibilities that would fall upon her involving his care.

He said in his typical way...... I'm 85 why in the hell would I put her and myself through that....so I can maybe reach 90? He just laughed and ordered another beer.


So sorry to hear. My dad died on Memorial Day 3 years ago. He was 88 years old, and a shadow of his former self.
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 77
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History
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 6:34:39 PM
I do not understand? I have been messaged by 23 yr olds.. ALOT... How did they get thru if there is a 15 yr age restriction?

I am assuming that my POF parties are the reason. Once I invite everyone in the area to a party.... every 21 to 100 yr old can message me back..... NO age restrictions after first message.. even if its a generic party invite.

Throw a party sir!
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 78
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 10:09:27 PM

I know many people who have a glass of wine every night with dinner, one glass, yet that qualifies them for "more than 3 times a week". To me this is not a problem drinker or alcoholic.

I agree. I'd say the same about one or two beers.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 79
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AGE GAP
Posted: 8/21/2015 10:17:43 PM

What we’re talking about here is basically...


No, that's not what I meant, but since this isn't the sex forums I won't go into an explanation :)

CC ... sorry to hear about your dad. I hate when people going through chemo feel like they are putting someone else out or being a burden. How much they didn't know that we would have done anything if we knew they felt that way :(

How much, too, we wish they hadn't taken chemo if we knew their quality of life would have been better or maybe longer without it.

If only people could have some clue to what the outcomes would be before they made those decisions.

I am glad to hear that he is healthy enough right now to be sitting with you, at a bar, drinking a beer.


 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 80
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 1:13:09 AM
Frank Gifford, of NY Giants fame, passed away last week. He was 85 years old; his widow, Kathy, is 53. They were mutually devoted. According to Kathy she always proclaimed Frank as a “Love Machine” and the love of her life.

Who is anyone to dictate to another stipulations as to what one must find attractive and suitable for a mate.
There are no qualifiers for true love.

So absolutely the age restriction in PoF is without validity.

.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 81
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AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 6:21:55 AM
Kathie Lee is way older than 53, my Mom is 53 and my Dad is 52, she's definitely in her 60s, early 60s but 60s nonetheless.

A quick check on wiki:

August 16, 1953 (age 63)

Again if people want to date someone 20+ year they're junior or senior go to another dating site, there are plenty of niche sites that cater to anyone and plenty of dating sites that don't have such restrictions. OKC is free and doesn't have that age restriction, I just don't see the point in complaining at this point.

I don't know the numbers but I'm sure demographic has a lot to do with it. The last POF even I went to several women complained that a lot of older men were still messaging them.

http://blog..com/index.php/the-case-for-an-older-woman/

That study which is interesting for a lot of reasons also explains that the age for OLD peaks at around 24 years old and tapers off as people get older. I'm assuming the demographics are about the same for POF and OKC as both sites are similar. Playing the numbers the likelihood of as 55+ being on here is smaller than an 18-40 year old being on here. An 18 year old doesn't want a 40 year old hitting on them. The chances of an 18 year old girl leaving a site is higher when she has to deal with multiple messages from creepy men. So while it may suck for a vibrant 55+ who wants to date a woman/man in their 40s they're playing the numbers game.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 82
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 6:31:28 AM
There are a lot of armchair psychologists here who claim that if a guy marries a woman older than him, the guy must have mommy issues. If a woman marries an older guy, she has daddy issues. Would that mean if a guy marries a woman who is about the same age as him, he has sister issues and she has brother issues?
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 83
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:33:06 AM
Actually Blackwood, IMO an 18 year old shouldn't be on a dating site. In fact, why are 18 to 25 year olds on here? They should be Discouraged from being on a dating site and Encouraged to live life in the real world with friends, college friends, university friends and work friends. Go to pubs, bars, sporting events, concerts, clubs, etc. Apparently they have to be "protected" online. Maybe they should be out in real life learning survival skills and learning what is real instead of make believe through their iPhone.

And really, how hard is it to delete an unwanted message?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 84
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AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:53:18 AM

Blackwood85
I just don't see the point in complaining at this point.

Ahh, but if no one was complaining, what would we have to talk about here in these forums?


Blackwood85
the age for OLD peaks at around 24 years old and tapers off as people get older.

Playing the numbers the likelihood of as 55+ being on here is smaller than an 18-40 year old being on here.

So while it may suck for a vibrant 55+ who wants to date a woman/man in their 40s they're playing the numbers game

Once again, the problem with statistics is in how you apply them.

Yes, there are fewer people here in their 50’s. And even fewer in their 60’s. But (and this is a very big BUT, my friend) …

At the age of 24, when OLD peaks, there are 10 men for every woman on the OLD site. By the time you’re 50, the numbers are about equal. By the time you reach 60, there are 3 women for every 2 men. Do you see my point? The table is tilting, from being very much in favor of the women, to being in favor of the men.

Now when I was 55, I was married, and not dating. But I started dating at 59, and had absolutely no problem dating women who were 15 years younger. When I turned 60, it suddenly got harder. There is something psychological about that “60 barrier”. And I expect to hit another barrier later this year when I turn 65. I think 65 is what most people think of as old, retirement age, etc. I fully expect things to get even harder then.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way hung up on younger women. I am quite happy to date a woman of any age, as long as she is attractive to me. It’s just that as the age bracket increases, the percentage of women who look attractive diminishes rapidly. And I’m sure this is true for women as well. Just the other day, BrownEyesBoo made a remark that most men her age reminded her of her “Grampie”.

And CrookCatcher, I’m really sorry to hear about your father. My best wishes to him and all of his family. If he had a good 23 years with his younger wife, then I think he should try to concentrate on those good years, not worry about the age difference. But that’s just me talking, I do not have to walk a mile in his shoes…
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 85
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:02:05 AM

There is something psychological about that “60 barrier”.


This +100
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 86
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:07:59 AM

The age gap rule works for me. Old wrinkled men can't contact me (when I am old and wrinkled I will seek the same) and neither can cubs who are looking for an older woman experience as I don't want to be anyone's guinea pig.


I think some people are missing the point. It's not that age restrictions should be removed. Age restrictions should be decided by each individual. Just like distance.
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 87
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:13:49 AM

There is something psychological about that “60 barrier”.
This +100^^^^

In my area......90% of men are 54...hhmmmm......apparently the 55 mark is a barrier too.
I'm not complaining....I've met my share of nice men .....within my age perimeter...a few years younger or older.
Just this morning, I was chatting with a man saying...it's hard to avoid the "hookers" on this site.
I would guess....that might give some men false hope on snagging that much younger one...smh.

@CC......Sorry to hear about your dad....cherish the moments....Hugz.
vvvvvvv More than likely an exaggeration on the "hookers" but hey..free advertising and lots of wanton men looking to get some....I encourage them.
I was propositioned once.... ;-)
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 88
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:22:54 AM
Thanks WS, you as well ohenry. He lives about 500 miles away, going to see him again in a few weeks.


Just this morning, I was chatting with a man saying...it's hard to avoid the "hookers" on this site.


This is what I find odd. I've had one message my entire time here that could be regarded as solicitation. But maybe he's initiating the messages and finding that out on the return message? I don't know.


In my area......90% of men are 54...hhmmmm......apparently the 55 mark is a barrier too.


Lol. Apparently 50 is as well. There are more 49 year old women in my area than Pecan trees.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 89
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AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:59:46 AM
CC sorry about your dad!

On topic:
Hookers never, meal whores confirmed. Lol

Perhaps he thinks every gal in a mini skirt is a hooker?? I think Craigslist would be more suited to solicitation, not POF.

I also never got the memo to help the guy in Nigeria get his millions, but one can only dream for such opportunity. :)

As for age barriers, nonsense. Plenty of women go for older guys. My dad's domestic partner is over 20 years younger and hes dated MUCH younger women his whole life. They meet him IRL , and they think he is younger.

Larger age differences seem more common in continental Europe, specifically EE. I see it a lot in Brooklyn due to the large European population.


There are a lot of armchair psychologists here who claim that if a guy marries a woman older than him, the guy must have mommy issues. If a woman marries an older guy, she has daddy issues. Would that mean if a guy marries a woman who is about the same age as him, he has sister issues and she has brother issues?


Lets not forget the "substitute mommy" issues some here have.:P
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 90
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 9:37:42 AM
Hookers, well not any that were obvious.

But back before the 14 year age block, I MSG was woman that was 28. Something about her profile and travel.

She MSGed me back with three simple words. "ARE YOU RICH"?
I replied, not that rich.

Maybe not a hooker, but quid pro quo was operative.


There is something psychological about that “60 barrier”.


I agree, and sometimes it's more than psychological. At 60 I get a 10% on all groceries bought on Tuesday at one store!!!

I do think there is a big change crossing over at 60. I posted this a while ago. If you look at the link, both men and women hold the line at for maxium age even when they themslves are 60. As always, on average, exceptions do apply.

People reported distinct age preferences for marriage; a serious relationship; falling in love; casual sex; and sexual fantasies.

60 year old men don't want anyone younger 44 or older than 60 to marry or have a relationship with. 60 year old women don't want anyone younger than about 55 or older than about 60 to marry or have a relationship with.

Naturally acceptable ages for casual sex and fantasies are quite different.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201405/who-is-too-young-or-too-old-you-date
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 91
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AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 11:54:44 AM

Actually Blackwood, IMO an 18 year old shouldn't be on a dating site. In fact, why are 18 to 25 year olds on here? They should be Discouraged from being on a dating site and Encouraged to live life in the real world with friends, college friends, university friends and work friends. Go to pubs, bars, sporting events, concerts, clubs, etc. Apparently they have to be "protected" online. Maybe they should be out in real life learning survival skills and learning what is real instead of make believe through their iPhone.

And really, how hard is it to delete an unwanted message?


It's not hard but how many women do you think have left because they kept getting messages from creeps? I know a girl on this site who hides her pictures because she kept getting messages from "weirdos" I know another girl who deleted her profile because she kept getting unsolicited messages from guys looking for sex. I'm sure it gets annoying deleting messages over and over again.

As for 18-24 year olds it's just the way it is. You can say that for just about any age group, what's stopping single people who are Generation X from going out to bars, concerts, clubs, after work happy hours, meeting people and mingling why are they on a dating site? The same for the baby boomers? My grandfather just passed away a year ago and my Grandma is 68 year old breast cancer survivor but nothing stops her from going to the gym working out, she still goes out on occasion all of us including were at a jazz club a week ago for a family reunion. None of us really need to us OLD if that's the case, I think most people use the site as another tool, it's to supplement what they're already doing offline, that's how I use OKC and POF. It's why I don't get bent out of shape over chicks who don't respond back to me or flake out on me or they straight up disappear. It is what it is.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 92
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 12:24:08 PM
I think those who start threads or jump on threads complaining about the age gap are basically outing themselves as off balance personality types. Why? Because this is a free site, not an entitlement and these guys don't know the difference. Complaining in the face of a free gift is down right rude and insensitive.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 93
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 12:42:54 PM

...................use the site as another tool, it's to supplement what they're already doing offline, that's how I use OKC and POF. It's why I don't get bent out of shape over chicks who don't respond back to me or flake out on me or they straight up disappear. It is what it is.


Blackwood, you are indeed a wise, good lookin' young man. LOL Can we frame the above?
Or at the very least point others in your direction?

(Now, I have to admit, I only used OLD sites, but as I have stated in the past, I live in a very small town, half of it's occupants are university students and/or belong to a religion I do not belong to, and it's rural country, farmland.
LOL Not many options IRL!

POF is a free site. No you can't get a refund, if you don't like the rules. Age related or otherwise.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 94
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AGE GAP
Posted: 8/22/2015 1:31:02 PM

POF is a free site.


Agreed, the best free site that "costs" a lot! ;P (time, effort, etc)

I had the same idea when joining, that it is another tool. But then I realized how easy it is, indeed! Almost like ordering a pizza! lol
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 95
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/23/2015 1:16:45 AM
There is a difference between a complaint and an opinion. I offered an opinion.

What I find almost incredible is that when PoF first put in the age restrictions they said it was to prevent the hordes of older men from contacting the very young girls (18+). If one is so stupid as to not be able to use the age qualifiers that have always been available to us maybe that person should not be dating; especially OLD.

When persons meet IRL they go by looks and persona as to whether or not they find someone attractive. Rarely does someone ask “How old are you?” before becoming intrigued by that person. The last romantic relationship I had was with a man 17 years younger. When I tried to tell him my age he responded with, “My desire for you is not predicated on a number of years…”.

Kathy Gifford is 62, born in 53; my mistake. The age difference is that he was 23 years older; who cares! My favorite aunt at 19 married someone more than 30 years older; he was not wealthy at that time. Unfortunately, she passed away first; he, in his 90s, looked great and went on to marry a 40s woman.



She MSGed me back with three simple words. "ARE YOU RICH"?~dragonbyts

Lol, now that is getting to the point!
I dated a man who said that the previous woman he was seeing had stipulated that in order for them to continue seeing one another he had to give her $100,000 and $10,000 a month thereafter.


.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 96
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/23/2015 4:30:12 AM

When persons meet IRL they go by looks and persona as to whether or not they find someone attractive.


True. It is usually the first thing that draws one person to another.


Rarely does someone ask “How old are you?” before becoming intrigued by that person.


It is the first thing I ask men who are "hitting" on me. Has been my first question for years. I know it is also the first question of the majority of my single girlfriends. Perhaps that is because we are all interested in being with someone relatively close to our own ages. Perhaps it is because almost every man who we are approached by is not in that age range.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 97
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/23/2015 4:39:21 AM

It is the first thing I ask men who are "hitting" on me.


Really? That's interesting.

I would have to believe that the age difference must be fairly obvious if you're inclined to ask that right out of the gate. What happens if he says the same age you are? He still looks the same. What changes?
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 98
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/23/2015 4:41:11 AM
I would never ask a woman her age.

Then again, I'm not getting hit on by 20 somethings either :(
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 99
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/23/2015 5:05:52 AM

Really? That's interesting.

I would have to believe that the age difference must be fairly obvious if you're inclined to ask that right out of the gate. What happens if he says the same age you are? He still looks the same. What changes?


The age difference is obvious to me. I can tell they are too young. They are never the same age as me. It isn't about looks, it is about being at the same stage in life. At this stage in my life I am not interested in dating some guy the same age as one of my sons or closer in age to them than to me.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 100
AGE GAP
Posted: 8/23/2015 5:09:57 AM

The age difference is obvious to me. I can tell they are too young.


Fair enough. I thought you were refering to older. :)
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