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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherer      Home login  
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 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 26
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannahPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
The biggest change has been contraception.
Women now have control over our bodies and can choose not to have a baby every year.
(Yes, men can choose to have a vasectomy. Generally this happens later in life rather than during peak fertility. This also is a recent phenomenon. )

Hence women can choose when or if to become pregnant enabling more education and a different life to women throughout the ages.
Prior, the choice was abstinence or pregnancy.
This choice has changed the entire male / female dynamic.

Now more women are in higher education, in careers, being financially independent and the 'need' for a husband has changed.
We now "want" a man in our lives rather than need one to exist or be dependent on our family.

Many people are embracing this change.
Others hate it. Hence MGTOW.


p.s. I prefer to think I am closer to a dolphin. What a fabulous life.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 27
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:06:13 PM
Sealady, one gal told me she thought agriculture changed everything.

Sorta makes sense.

You don't need a caveman to drag home an ear of corn...
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 28
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:06:41 PM

Predictions were tested in data from 37 samples drawn from 33 countries located on six continents and five islands (total N = 10,047). For 27 countries, demographic data on actual age at marriage provided a validity check on questionnaire data. Females were found to value cues to resource acquisition in potential mates more highly than males. Characteristics signaling reproductive capacity were valued more by males than by females. These sex differences may reflect different evolutionary selection pressures on human males and females; they provide powerful cross-cultural evidence of current sex differences in reproductive strategies. Discussion focuses on proximate mechanisms underlying mate preferences, consequences for human intrasexual competition, and the limitations of this study.



championing the 'men pay for dinners' cause, ???

IF a man asked me out & I was into him, sure I'd let him pay. I'm no gold digger, rarely drink booze eat very little now, so I'd be a reasonable dinner date...an unsweetened ice tea & an appetizer LoL

Females were found to value cues to resource acquisition in potential mates more highly


If a woman wants to be sexually attractive to a male, she should wear something that shows or gives the illusion of her waist to hip ratio (hence the pencil skirt), & a pair of heels maybe 2 inches or more (emphasizes the female gait) a push up bra, wear her hair longer & flowing. A little color in the lips & cheeks also are "signals"...

Also the western culture is so obsessed w/ hygiene, we wash away our pheremones by showering too often. A woman going on a date should shower no less than 2 hours b4 a date & then engage in some light physical activity, like vacuuming her living room, as to release some pheremones that were washed away in the shower.

If going to a movie, something that is very action packed, like a suspense thriller will make the man more aroused towards his date rather than a comedy.

Characteristics signaling reproductive capacity were valued more by males


Ah, this post is going to be all How To Be A SexxAy LAaydee and Get Man to Feel Sexxay Time in his Peeenis by authoress BLonde^J^AngeL
(or something like that).


Heavens to Betsy! I'm 56 & my man is 63, so yes, we wanna get our freak on & w/o KY Jelly & viagra, so we do nice things for each other, to turn each other on.

This is a dating site & that would encompass sexuality ;0P


I think to any of us that read this correctly, the post is basically about - the more things change, the more they stay the same. Men and women have been seeking each other out for eons and not much has changed. We still basically "look" for the same characteristics as our ancestors.

yes, as per the study w/ the 37 samples on 6 different continents & many other studies...
Women want a man who knows what he is doing & men want a woman they'd like to phuk ;0P


Firstly, now that women can make their own money and buy their own home, there is no hurry to find a mate and produce offspring. They do not have to depend on a man to feed and provide them shelter and many humans currently do not even have the desire to produce offspring.

Correct, but a dating site is about mate selection/sex & sex is an animalistic thing (well IMO why not be animalistic & physical when having sex)


There is a theory that we are descended from some type of water mammal. I can't remember the woman (TEDtalk) but she said that all monkeys and apes do not have the natural inclination to walk upright except to do only one thing: cross water. I'll try and find that link...

Ty, I would love to see that. This type of thread, is one of my fave topics!
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 29
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:18:23 PM
There was a study done of female university students. As part of the forms they filled out for the study they were asked about the timing of their cycle. All were given half a dozen photos of young men with brief biographies on the back. The biographies were randomly mixed up for every participant, so what one woman read for a photo wasn't necessarily the same biography the next woman read for the same photo. Some biographies were for classical nice guys - Big Brother volunteer, works with the disabled, etc. Some were bad guys - trouble with the law and stuff like that. The women were then told to rank the guys based strictly on physical attractiveness. All the women rated the nice guys as better looking. Except for women who were ovulating - they liked the bad boys.

Women are attracted to nice guys for a mate, but they want their children to be grasping, selfish bullies. They're not even aware of this. That's hard wired for survival of the genes.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 30
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:23:15 PM


There is a theory that we are descended from some type of water mammal. I can't remember the woman (TEDtalk) but she said that all monkeys and apes do not have the natural inclination to walk upright except to do only one thing: cross water. I'll try and find that link...

Ty, I would love to see that. This type of thread, is one of my fave topics!


Aquatic ape theory is basically that the ape-like hominid which became Homo species was pushed by climate change from the savannah towards the coastal areas. There is a variant that supposes the hominid proto-human was could easily have been pushed by the changing climate towards lakes and would stay around the area due to heat/dryness and availability of resources around the lake. Supposedly, this theory has been debunked, but I haven't seen convincing evidence.

There are a few monkey species which don't object to water (or at least not when rewarded properly by food) like the proboscis monkey and a type of gibbon.
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 31
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:25:34 PM

Now more women are in higher education, in careers, being financially independent and the 'need' for a husband has changed.
We now "want" a man in our lives rather than need one to exist or be dependent on our family.

Many people are embracing this change.
Others hate it. Hence MGTOW.


I don't think anyone hates the changes in the last 50 years of women's independence. I think the vast majority embrace it, it is freeing for men as well. As to the MGTOW men, they aren't so much anti women as they are pissed at the legal system and the perceived inequity in divorce and child custody issues. Some of their concerns are real. And we will always have the few angry and radical man haters as well as woman haters. Thank goodness they aren't the majority.

Great topic. I've been a fan of Dr. Helen Fisher for years and find her books and documentaries interesting. Just knowledge, not gospel.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 32
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 7:35:48 PM
Clooney --- Agriculture certainly could have changed things as prior the men generally HUNTED the woolly mammoth and the women GATHERED the rest.

The male asset of being able to concentrate completely on one task and do it well whilst ignoring everything else was paramount.
The female asset of being able to multitask, feed baby, check on children, cook dinner and praise the returning hunter was essential.

Agriculture generally meant that the men did not have to hunt so their work changed dramatically.
But the women's work stayed the same or increased by working on the farm whilst still giving birth each year and often dying in childbirth.


So I will expand.

Modern medicine including contraception, surviving childbirth giving women a totally different life.
World War 2 also made major changes where the women did the male jobs whilst the men were away at war.
Proving to themselves and everyone else that they could do the jobs but most returned to domesticity if their husbands returned and were able to work. Sadly, far too many did not come back , physically or emotionally.

Changing roles of men, from hunter to farmer to modern occupations?

Certainly here many, many men have great difficulty in how the world has changed.
The work their fathers and grandfathers did are disappearing and more sedentary work, often staring at computer screens has taken over.


We live in a totally different world.
And WE have made the changes.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 33
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:00:50 PM
Actually, it's been estimated that among hunter-gatherers in temperate climates, the gatherers gather from 70-90% of the calories and the hunters provide high-value food but in a lesser amount. The social model was one of equality or so it is thought since anyone could make or hunt for any resource available to anyone else. There might have been pair-bonds, but they was no real censure for going outside of these pair bonds since, once again, no one had access to anything everyone else didn't have access to on a regular basis.

In agriculture, the food is storable for year-round availability but the territory and stored food must be protected from others who would gather when they haven't done the work. So, the sexual dimorphism favors the alpha male model who might need to fight or frighten off other humans on a regular basis. Storage made permanent (or at least semi-permanent settlements necessary and that allowed for collections of larger, heavier things reinforcing the 'let's stay home, honey' model.

Personally, I admire the first person to domesticate 'cattle'. The typical Bos species stood six feet at the shoulder. At least.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 34
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:02:09 PM
I know some men that behave like MGTOW.

Good men that have embraced being single and no longer have the desire to chase a female.

These chaps go to Central America twice a year to sow their oats.

They're financially stable and appear happy. They're not whining about paying for dates, not getting laid, games, etc. etc.

I can't see myself booking flights for poon. Ain't happening...
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 35
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:31:32 PM
^^^^ I know men who are similar.

Have embraced being single.
Some are celibate, some pay local professionals, some go on sex holidays to Asia, and sometimes come back with a 'wife', others pick up 'loose women'.
One uses the line - 'No matter what happens tonight we will not be a couple'

At least everyone knows where they stand.
Some women do the same.

The ones I detest are the ones who say one thing and do the opposite.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 36
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 9:12:38 PM

I would love to see the day where we don't have to wear all the 'trappings' - high heels, push up bra, tight belts, makeup, long hair, yada yada.

I do none of the above. Too much effort and the payoff is dubious.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 37
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/22/2015 9:21:10 PM
Say no to push up bras.

Who wants to open a bag of chips and get all air?

Some things were easier in the hot Savannah.

No clothing...

Men busting their humps to bring home dinner and the women respecting them for it.

 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 38
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 9:05:28 AM

There has been one change. Men are no longer conking women over the head with their clubs and dragging them away by their hair.


that's due to all the fake hair

if the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed why do so many get caught up in the media hype of pseudo-science, in reality

"There's no good literature in the biomedical field to support that sexual-attractant pheromones exist" as for
Helen Fisher;


Anthropologist Helen Fisher needs a better understanding of the mechanism of action of testosterone-she claims high testosterone results in tall stature when the exact opposite is true,high testosterone causes the epiphyseal plates to close early and results in short stature.Moreover, facial bone structure is not striclty dependent on testosterone but genes & heredity.Therefore if two males had testosterone levels of 400 ng/dl but one had a father with "masculine features" the genes would win.


Helen's a fun read, like the daily horrorscope
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 39
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 9:36:48 AM
Thank you.

I'd never heard of Helen Fisher, and I figured she must be smarter than me. But that stuff just seemed a little wacky to me.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 40
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 9:54:31 AM

One uses the line - 'No matter what happens tonight we will not be a couple


Hmm.....is this a reverse psychology thing or what? Maybe one of those PUA lines? I just can't envision the scenario where a man would just throw that out there in the hopes that's what it takes to seal the deal.

But to be frankly honest, I've seen some things posted here that I really wonder if the poster could actually be serious.....like wth? Who would say something like that? If half of some of this stuff is true, I'm shocked the species still finds a way to breed. :/ ymmv
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 41
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 10:17:05 AM

I'd never heard of Helen Fisher, and I figured she must be smarter than me. But that stuff just seemed a little wacky to me.

Just another so called expert...selling books.
Like Anne Coulter or Laura ?.....at least Dr. Ruth was funny.
I can remember Dr. Ruth giving women advice on a program and her husband sat there shaking his head....he said she was full of it.
But....hey, people buy it and read it....all about the money!


I've seen some things posted here that I really wonder if the poster could actually be serious.....like wth

I know eh.....
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 42
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 10:22:26 AM

Good men that have embraced being single and no longer have the desire to chase a female.

These chaps go to Central America twice a year to sow their oats.


What's good about being so desensitized as to objectify the opposite sex and have no emotional bonding during sex? Men I date are very put off by prostitution or taking advantage of women in developing countries. I've lived in Thailand and the travelling pseudo boyfriends who buy their girlfriends by the day or week are some of the creepiest guys on the planet.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 43
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 10:41:15 AM
Golly, and here I been a thinking that Humans were animals. And that we too - at least SOME OF US - despite our massive brains and intellect - must follow some type of hierearchy/selection process to choose mates other than "good looks" or amount of "success". Survival of the fittest. How ALL animals must manage to adapt or die. Can some people really believe that ALL humans can simply wander around willy nilly mating with anyone they choose?

It's easy to see one thing has changed in the last 5 years just from reading these Forums alone. Very few folks have a clue about pheromones anyore - THE CHEMICALS of CHEMISTRY - which dovetails nicely with the ever escalating ad campaign for drugs of all types in magazines, and on TV and the Internet. YES, we a magic pill for that!!! The US is far and away THE most over drugged country on the planet. All these Chemicals that folks are putting in and on their bodies certainly cannot aid in our production of pheromones nor our ability to detect them. And now, coming soon to a store near you, the little pink pill for women.

I can't wait to see the list of side effects...
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 44
view profile
History
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 10:41:28 AM

Hah! You got that right. I should have said "some women" instead of "we" but I'm really tired tonight...
I don't do push up bra's either because the wires rub on my ribs. High heels hurt me after 15 mins, really long hair looks atrocious on me, tight clothing gives me a claustrophobic feeling, eyelashes are too oily for mascara and ditto with makeup and my face, I hate fake nails because they require too much maintenance. The only thing I do agree with is no chemicals in underarms (or anywhere on body).


Ok, tit for tat. I'll quit shaving, wear my old "I'm with stupid" tee, comfortable jeans with the paint and grease spots, holy sneakers, and come pick you up in my old work truck for a date. What drive thru are we going to?
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 45
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 10:46:59 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^@Purple...It's not a point of being dirty or lazy ....it's the proverbial question of who do you prefer
Mary-anne or Ginger?
Many men ...prefer a natural looking woman in jeans, a t-shirt and a ball cap.
Truthfully....I prefer a country gent over a man in a suit....anyday!
 7seatac
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 46
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 11:52:01 AM
I don't think the thread is about high heels, corsets and short skirts. I think this is about what attracted your great, great grandfather to your great, great grandmother and vice versa has not changed much. We, as an individual, still prefer a certain type as a mate or partner. We still seek a mate that has the traits we prefer, we are selective and see the difference in man A and man B (or woman). It's hard wired...or is it?

As for Dr. Fisher and others like her who do research and write about their findings, it's just interesting to read and see other's opinions on what we do and why we do it. we are an interesting species.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 47
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 12:53:00 PM
I'll just make my best wild guess that fewer than 10% of "working women" in this country are REQUIRED to wear makeup. Or a certain height of heel. Or a certain type of bra. Or wear ANY type of shapewear. All CHOICES... whether at work or out in the RW. Or employ fillers, injections or any and all types of new fangled lipo/sculpting. MOST women CHOOSE to do some of these things to give them a greater choice in mate. Make them more "attractive" to more men. As Dating sites have become ever more numerous and the competition ever more fierce, there are ever more ladies of all ages employing the "go to" shot. Cleavage.

Are EIGHT cleavage shots enough?

Apparently, some ladies go gold just so they can...

Maybe it's just a Florida thing?
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 48
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 1:41:04 PM
^ If I were a guy on Plenty of Fish, I'd be constantly motorboating my computer screen.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 49
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 1:47:04 PM
I'm guessing Purplerider only wears his Holy sneakers on the Sabbath.
I would say things have changed.. we don't have to fear being eaten by Lions for example
Well unless you clumsy at the Zoo
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 50
the whole boy/girl thing hasn't changed since we were hunter-gatherers on the African savannah
Posted: 8/23/2015 3:42:08 PM

Actually dating/restaurant etiquette is for the woman to be seated so she can see the room.


Etiquette be Damned, I sit so I can observe the most likely Avenue of Attack...
I also walk with the Lady on My left side, so My Sword Arm is Free.....
I don't tunnel in on the person talking to me, either.... I'm always scanning My surrounding, with a relaxed awareness of what happening.....
My 1st Wife said, when My alarm bells are tripped, My eyes go from a warm inviting Blue color, to a Frigid Ice Blue color... I wouldn't know, cause I'm looking from the other side of them....
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