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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actua      Home login  
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 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 51
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
M Gladwell, "Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking,"
Robin I. M. Dunbar (various work)
Günter J. Hitsch et al. "What Makes You Click? — Mate Preferences and Matching Outcomes in Online Dating"
John Stuart Gillis, Walter E. Avis "The Male-Taller Norm in Mate Selection"
Abigail Weitzman, Dalton Conley "From Assortative to Ashortative Coupling: Men's Height, Height Heterogamy, and Relationship Dynamics in the United States"

I could go on with the above list, but seriously you want to argue a point that is so obvious?! Yes for women and marriage income and potential income are higher indicators but we are talking about single females at this age group and their behaviours here. Gee, eHarmony has the male height thing pegged in their FAQs.

Most choices are engineered from genetics, how they were raised, what their therapist thinks, what their friends think or do, to having the media tell you what is attractive. Women are the worst of this lemming syndrome. Find me 10 true pioneers and you will have at least 9 men. These choices are something that can be changed if willed so.

So, what is your "real science" anyway?
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 52
view profile
History
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 8:27:45 PM
Why did you go away? Why did you come back?

You're seemingly so smart. But then you throw out a ridiculous and sexist generalization.


Women are the worst of this lemming syndrome.
 HFX_RGB2
Joined: 4/14/2015
Msg: 53
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 9:08:37 PM

I could go on with the above list, but seriously you want to argue a point that is so obvious?!


Yes it is obvious any dork can write a book.






So, what is your "real science" anyway?


It is known as propinquity and it looks at many factors, but at the end of the say the main one is always attraction and that it is not a choice, it is a preference.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 54
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 9:23:04 PM
I hope to be proved wrong on that score Strawberry. I was at a college ball game and the young ladies seemingly either had the short skirts with cowboy boots and same hair style, or the goth thing going. I was cool with either looks but it is an amazing thing to see such constricted behaviours in dress as us men see with female dating preferences. I do not see so much self-restricted behaviour with males in fashion, dating, hobbies, beliefs ... In fact I see so much more accepting behaviours with men. I think that male compassion is great but I also see so many really good men alone and I know it is not a fault with them either.

Coffee, you couldn't strike at my argument so go ad hominem -why not? Hey I am OK with it. It follows the honesty in the profile subject so ... I tried to post some what current pictures two years ago on Match and basically moved that over to POF 3 months later. One pic with my son in kilt is many years older. My weight and waste line does fluctuate depending on my level of athletic intensity. I will never get back to my old bicycle racer body but I can get close. During the year I go +/- 15#. The pictures of me racing I am in serious body armour. Our back and chest pads and hip pads are unflattering but less so than a wheel chair. I miss my old life style being an adventure sports junky. But I love rescuing houses, neighborhoods, people, and children too. So I have two sizes of pants I wear throughout the year. I should just remove the profile altogether at this point honestly.

To your point of my words sounding tough but most of the women that I meet OL are over the top. I have had lengthy relationships with "few extra pounds" women and I would again - happily. If I made a waste line preference an issue I would totally be out of the game. There is a difference between one pant size larger and having to shop at a completely different store. This is a big issue culturally and I see all these fat little kids with their obese mothers and just want to haul them both off to Parris Island. Obesity is a result of a number of bad choices and it needs to be corrected. Yes, I should have skipped that pop-tart this evening myself.

Funny, I was never over 34" waste until my son was born. His mother did yoga and looked like a runway model the day after giving birth and has since.
 sacredrain
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 55
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 9:35:41 PM


"Egads, I cannot even imagine why guys bother lying about their height. It's not like it's anything they're going to change accept it and pursue women that are vertically challenged themselves and/or don't have hangups with shorter men."


I am calling nonsense on this one, SacredRain (6'1"), at least for a serious male seeking a female. OK, maybe a guy might add an inch, and maybe take a few years off, but not that any guy is claiming to be half a foot taller. This smells of a myth being generated here and now to "date shame" average size men standing up the hypergamists. Being stood up and reverse indicting the man is just another attempt for some of the aging out ladies to feel better for themselves because the guy had something better to do that night than to subsidize and entertain her waning narcissism and look at her crows feet.


Your nonsense calling is duly noted VMinRVA95(5'9"). Who said anything about half a foot? ...or even 6"? lol

I don't know about myth generating or "date shaming", but I do know that height seems to be an important consideration to many women. At least it's important enough to a significant portion of women with OLD profiles here to expend the effort to mention their preferences in their profiles. On other dating sites that shall remain unnamed where there's a pull down menu to select your date's preferred dimensions most women seem to select minimum height preferences that are at least an inch or two taller than they are. The point being that most women seem to prefer men that are at least a little taller than they are. I suspect some are even padding the preferences to accommodate their shoe collections. As a result if a guy's profile leads a gal to believe that she'll be looking up at her date while dancing and the feller that shows up is notably shorter than she is, she might have a case for calling foul. Now perhaps our story's heroin is fair minded and gives the guy a chance, finds she's a sucker for his beguiling charm, and decides to burn her entire shoe closet filled with 347 pairs of elevator pumps. It could happen right?
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 56
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 9:43:28 PM
On the height thing--that is laughable--I know plenty of amazing shorter men who have no trouble getting dates...

See when someone wants to say that the issue is blah blah blah...it's not--cause there are happy couples everywhere made up of short /tall, fat/thin, educated/noneducated etc...

Heck in heels Im over 6' and one of the hottest men I dated was 5'6"--trust me neither of us were concerned about height...he was built like a greek god (he was in fact greek!) but more importantly he had an awesome personality.

So why some people might want XYZ --most are willing to let really stupid shit like height go if they find someone they are attracted to and want based on their other characteristics.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 57
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 10:08:45 PM

The reason why you SHOULD be honest at all times in your mate hunt, is not that this MAKES things happen. The reason to be honest, is that FAILING to be so, will almost certainly directly cause your results to be false.


I totally agree. If you are not honest with the other person you will end up with something you don't want. So you would have benefited yourself NOTHING. In addition you are not being honest with yourself. A lot of people think on line will change what they end up with. In the real world they have constantly dated and married over weight short people who are barely literate but on line they will end up with a tall fit blonde who has read every classic twice. So they pass on all the short fat over weight illiterate people because hope springs eternal.
 saanichman
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 58
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/30/2015 10:28:11 PM
To answer your question. the title of this post, no results so far since I've not written anyone yet and I've also had almost no views of my profile. It is what it is as I see it.
 sacredrain
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 59
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:17:35 AM

To answer your question. the title of this post, no results so far since I've not written anyone yet and I've also had almost no views of my profile. It is what it is as I see it.


Likely you know this already, but you will almost surely have to initiate contact with at least a few women to have any measurable success online. I think the women that are bold enough to make first contact are the best, but unfortunately they're a small minority in my experience. Fear of rejection is a powerful force in the universe.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 60
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 8:18:29 AM

Likely you know this already, but you will almost surely have to initiate contact with at least a few women to have any measurable success online. I think the women that are bold enough to make first contact are the best, but unfortunately they're a small minority in my experience. Fear of rejection is a powerful force in the universe.


From my experience, guys I contact first think I will sleep with them quickly. THEY make NO effort and loose interest after the conversation doesnt turn to sex quickly. BUT that is just me.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 61
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 9:08:09 AM

zonavar68 :
If you write your profile with complete honesty about your situation, your approach to life, who you are, who you're looking for, etc. do you find you actually get any real results?


Online dating is like playing at the casino, the odds are stacked against you. Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”.


sacredrain :
I've also had good success with women that initiate contact. I'm of the opinion that these women tend to be more confident and seek to short circuit the flood of spam they get by being assertive and actively seeking and pursuing their own matches.


I wholeheartedly agree.
 saanichman
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 62
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 10:46:22 AM

Likely you know this already, but you will almost surely have to initiate contact with at least a few women to have any measurable success online. I think the women that are bold enough to make first contact are the best, but unfortunately they're a small minority in my experience. Fear of rejection is a powerful force in the universe.


I have no fear of rejection. And I'm rather amused by people, when initiating contact with a first message and the woman will go to your profile just long enough to block you.
 flamingjune1960
Joined: 6/24/2014
Msg: 63
view profile
History
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 1:35:05 PM
[Online dating is like playing at the casino, the odds are stacked against you. Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”.]
The odds are most definitely against you and OLD is not for the faint of heart. I find it best not to expect much that way you might be pleasantly surprised instead of disappointed.
Lets be honest, most people are looking at your pictures first so if they don't find you attractive they won't even look at what is written in your profile. Take it with a grain of salt and a shot of Tequila.
 HFX_RGB2
Joined: 4/14/2015
Msg: 64
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 1:52:35 PM

The odds are most definitely against you and OLD is not for the faint of heart.


The reality is the odds are stacked against you because that is the odds of meeting a compatible partner, not because of online dating.

If anything online dating improves those odds, but an improvement of a very small % is still a very small %.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 65
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 2:04:41 PM
It’s presumptuous to assume women who choose not to initiate contact with men are not confident or fear rejection.

When I had photos up my inbox was full. I had no need to initiate contact, and I know that’s true for lots of women.


From my experience, guys I contact first think I will sleep with them quickly. THEY make NO effort…


I agree lots of men think this way.
 sacredrain
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 66
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 2:13:04 PM

From my experience, guys I contact first think I will sleep with them quickly. THEY make NO effort and loose interest after the conversation doesnt turn to sex quickly. BUT that is just me.


It takes all kinds, don't give up because of a couple of jerks. The only assumptions I make about a woman that initiates contact, is that she's likely confident and she has likely seen something in my profile that she finds appealing. Any other assumptions are drawn from the contents of her message(s) and her own profile. I would definitely give this woman additional latitude when communicating with her because she has provided me with additional information about herself and through her actions displayed a very attractive quality. Confidence is hot. :)
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 67
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 2:29:18 PM


It takes all kinds, don't give up because of a couple of jerks. The only assumptions I make about a woman that initiates contact, is that she's likely confident and she has likely seen something in my profile that she finds appealing. Any other assumptions are drawn from the contents of her message(s) and her own profile. I would definitely give this woman additional latitude when communicating with her because she has provided me with additional information about herself and through her actions displayed a very attractive quality. Confidence is hot. :)


X2 for me, had 2 LTR's with women who contacted me first. Sex happened in the same time frame it did with anyone else. Many men would not see it as a come on for sex but an honest reaching out to say hello.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 68
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 2:47:27 PM

I would definitely give this woman additional latitude when communicating with her because she has provided me with additional information about herself and through her actions displayed a very attractive quality


If I find a man attractive and like his profile I still do not contact him first. I email men who I am not attracted to but find something interesting in their profiles. But I don't walk across the room and speak to men in bars. I do it the old fashion way. I dress alluringly and walk past him. I sway as I walk and keep my eyes lowered. I make sure my perfume has a hint of vanilla in it. IT works most of the time but NOT always. I move on. It was NOT meant to be.
But on line I do not understand the subtle nuances that work in the real world.
 Brave_one
Joined: 6/26/2015
Msg: 69
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 3:57:28 PM

The reality is the odds are stacked against you because that is the odds of meeting a compatible partner, not because of online dating.


True...in being yourself, and true in accepting that too....if you build it, they will come..."Field of Dreams,”
but first, it must be good enough if both parties like to share it with each other too..
and if so, your odds will improve expo-beautifully.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 70
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:18:58 PM
Greetings Valdis! Lets lead with your dis-like of 5' 10" men when they proffered themselves at the Hypergamist new standard (aka "preference") of 6' tall. Again with the 6' tall thing. Obviously, the two inches makes that man so much less of a man. And thank you for supporting what has been postulated by highly vetted empirical evidence posited earlier by one of us with an IQ over a mushroom.

You are picky but so are most females in NA (North America, ...and Ukraine as well I have been told). And so are most of the Hypergs that are parked on these threads. So at your height and with heals on that sub-standard man (who is still taller than the average) is still not straining your neck? Help me to understand. I posited the "lemming syndrome" only to get a negative reply (and understandably so). But please help us out to understand your pickyness.

Oh, bye the way welcome to the forum!

Have you met Zonavar? He is a great guy and has had (like most men of normal stature and shorter even) no responses. But it must be his fault!

Zonavar? Are you still out there?

Zonavar? Did we scare him off?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 71
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:35:04 PM

But on line I do not understand the subtle nuances that work in the real world.


Juju - I do not believe there are subtle nuances in regards to OLD (On Line Dating).
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 72
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:43:46 PM
Please tell me this dweeb isn't going to show up on NBC's Today show touting his book. Please, no.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 73
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:55:49 PM
Peas, they let you off the reservation? - Indian reservation ... wink, wink!
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 74
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 8:28:24 PM
They don't like white women on the Rez there, ya know. Those Indian girls are more racist than me, a lowly white woman not feeling safe around short men. ha.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 75
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 8/31/2015 11:02:41 PM
Online dating is like playing at the casino, the odds are stacked against you.
------------------
Actually, your odds are considerably worse. In a casino, roulette will get to within a percent of even odds. When dating, the first time you set a single criteria, you've almost certainly dropped the odds to less than your odds of rolling a 7 at the craps table. Most people set criteria that reduce their odds considerably more. Three criteria, each which fit 10% of your dating pool drops your odds to 1 in 1000, assuming the criteria are uncorrelated.
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