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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actua      Home login  
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 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 126
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Your profile shows you to have a paid subscription to POF. ;-)


So what if it does. It hasn't changed the outcome though - the only times I've had contacts approach me first they've been fakes/scammers.

So I won't be renewing. I had a paid subscription on somespamsite once - never got any contacts at all from that. Same with RSVP (an Aussie site run by the Fairfax newspaper publishing company), and a couple of others I've tried. Even given eharmony a go, and tinder (what a joke!).

Point remains that I've got a completely honest and accurate and genuine profile, and real pics, yet never get a peep in terms of initial contacts from genuine people. I've introduced myself to hundreds, perhaps more, on here, sometimes you'll get a message back wanting to know more, but 99.99999 pct are 'thanks but no thanks'. I know that'd be the same if I lined up every single woman in say a cinema and 'speed dated' each of them seperately away from the others.

The number 1 major turn-off - distance. In a country town distance is a given, but so many people still think that if you happen to live 50 km or more away from someone, it's a big no-no.

Just shows that honesty, genuineness, in the intro and pics counts for zip. And the fact that almost all dating sites have a huge ratio of guys to girls that's very disproportionate, so for women it's a 'free for all' in effect. Not saying that gives them better chances, but 1 girl getting to pick from say 100 guys, is going to give her better chances that 100 guys try to pick up the same girl.

Girls are just better communicators and relate better to each other. We guys aren't wired like that (normally).
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 127
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/16/2016 9:29:00 PM
'somespamsite' being an auto-generated work to replace

adulty

friendy

findery

or aff, sister site to altt dot commy.

8-)
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 128
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:07:48 AM
Zonavar
I just read your initial post and page 6, nothing else.

I have no idea the size of the community you live in, but if it’s small it makes connections difficult because the available prospects are few. You may have to move. I looked at your profile, and it’s interesting, I certainly would chat with you if I was looking (I’ve a BF now). Everyone may have disadvantages, and one of yours, is your height, 5’7”. It just narrows the field. But many of us have other items which narrow our field, so about all you can do, is put yourself in a bigger field, and keep trying.

Don’t give up trying.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 129
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:16:32 AM
Being totally honest doesn't get anyone a free pass.

Like, if a serial killer is totally honest, he is unlikely to get any dates. You don't see criminals complaining about the burden of not being totally honest.

And I think being totally honest is usually used by people who often insult other people.

I think it's better socially to be diplomatic without resorting to lying.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 130
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:25:12 AM
Zonavar
I’ve another idea.

Turn your search engines around, make yourself to be a woman, and search for a range of guys near your age. Then read their profiles. Study and learn from them. (I did this a lot when I first started dating.)

Then update your profile. There are multiple ways to present yourself in your profile and still be honest. Nothing wrong with a couple of nice pictures, like being dressed to go to a nice dinner. Find a photographer friend to take a couple of nicer shots, instead of the ‘in your face’ direct shots. Try other poses in a mirror. I used a tall mirror and took 25 shots and then picked the best.

It’s portraying yourself in a better light. Still with honesty.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 131
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/17/2016 12:49:16 PM
OP
So what if it does.

Haha. You're trying hard to sell how honest, genuine, and 'real' you are... while claiming that you'd never pay for a POF subscription.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 132
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/17/2016 6:10:41 PM
Since you're still here after six months, and this thread has re-surfaced, then it's a fair guess that it isn't working.

I'm so sorry, but I knew it from the start of this thread.

Think about it this way. Women get lied to, cheated on, dumped on, jumped on, treated like dirt. Some get beaten, mentally and physically. A few get taken financially. A couple even wind up dead.

Yet they refuse to take a chance on us, because we just might be one thing that they absolutely despise. We're boring.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 133
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/19/2016 1:56:41 PM
A few months ago I re-upped on a pay site. It is more of the same. Women lying about their ages and posting old photos, being contacted by inappropriate women, and the beat goes on....
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 134
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 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 135
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/21/2016 8:39:45 PM

Turn your search engines around, make yourself to be a woman, and search for a range of guys near your age. Then read their profiles. Study and learn from them. (I did this a lot when I first started dating.)



I used a tall mirror and took 25 shots and then picked the best.



You may have to move.


Seems like a lot of work for one measly meet and greet/date.


I’ve another idea.


Me, too.

Let's go back to the glory days of online dating.
 Flygirlcessna
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 136
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/23/2016 1:38:04 AM
My profile and photos all honest! Met a few guys on POF.....NOT honest at all! Ugh
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 137
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/23/2016 4:34:12 AM
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?

Short answer is Yes. Longer answer is that there is more to it than just being honest. You have to be honest about things that some people are looking for and can't find elsewhere. I'll use myself as an example because I go against almost everyone's advice except honest and genuine. My current profile is new but some people will remember me from last time. This new profile is a bit watered down but you will still get the point. The old one was more bellicose and misogynistic. No picture and I don't do first emails. Results? Pretty decent and here's why:

Does South-east Iowa have any women who are liberals or Marxist? ... Yes, lots of them.

Are any of those mousey and non confrontational? ... Yes, lots.

Are any of them atheist or agnostic?... Yes, lots.

Will any of them make first contact?... Some.

Will any of them email a profile without a picture?... Not as many but enough to keep me occupied.

Bottom line is that if a woman is a creeping socialist who doesn't want to take responsibility for her own decisions (my type) then I am the only game in town. If I went to Profile Review and got it all tweaked so that nobody is offended. My kind of women would never find me. They might even think that I was "nice" and trying to trick them into sleeping with me. I could be honest about what kinds of flowers I like. The movies I like. What I do for fun... snorrre! The meat and bones of who and what I am is there. Every once in a while, I would get an email from a woman trying to win me for Christ but mostly from women who were worth a look.
 AngeL_Feats
Joined: 3/21/2016
Msg: 138
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/24/2016 6:56:33 PM
If one had a fake profile w/ fake pics, fake info, even a fake gender, what would they get???

What is the point of THAT? Attention? Practice?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 139
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 3/26/2016 8:33:24 PM
^^^
The knowledge of pulling one over on someone else.
The ability to go 'you idiot' to someone they don't know.
I'm sure it makes them feel much better.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 140
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 4/6/2016 5:30:33 PM
Indeed I suppose where I live (in a town with about 5000 people) the prospects of meeting someone in person compared to via a dating site is probably quite a lot higher, but compared to a city like Sydney which has about 4 million people it's a different ballgame.

It's interesting to suggest looking at it from a woman's perspective. I don't know what the ratios are, but I'd guestimate most dating sites probably have a ratio of 100 (or more) guys for every woman, and that's not looking at the paid vs unpaid memberships.

Unlike POF, a lot of other sites give you basically nothing unless you pay up. you can't even look at profiles of people who look at your profile without paying on some sites!

But maybe the totally down to earth, approachable, etc. method just is not suited to a dating site as the total 'package' I'd offer isn't what a majority of sociable, smart, savvy women are after.

I never ever send "I think you're hot lets have sex" messages, but I bet women get stuff like that all the time. As a guy I never see that side - only the occasional 'thanks but no thanks' and/or 'you live too far away' type responses to about 10 pct or less of intro messages I send out.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 141
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 4/7/2016 2:47:34 PM

but I'd guestimate most dating sites probably have a ratio of 100 (or more) guys for every woman, and that's not looking at the paid vs unpaid memberships.


Not even close.

In your age range, the ratio is probably 1.5 men to 1 woman.
In mine, it's close to even.
The worst ratios are in the lower age ranges, 20 to 30, but even then it's rare to find a ratio larger than 3 : 1.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 142
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 4/19/2016 10:08:44 PM
Sometimes, but not from the right guys for me.
 Mber
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 143
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 4/22/2016 6:45:57 AM
My profile is 100% honest and my pics are bona fide; however, my 8+ year history on POF has been practically non-existent.

The one and only man I met on POF (just 4 months after activating my POF account) had the unrelenting gall to sneak out of the coffee shop just 15 minutes into our date. His initial pretense: "I have to use the men's room." Not surfacing after several minutes, I called him on his cellphone, only to find out that he snuck out the back door and was on his way home. His answer to me: "You are not good looking enough to be seen in public with me." I thanked this boor for showing me his true colours from the outset and was eventually able to shake this off; however, that "date" took place in May 2008 ... and not Prospect 1 since then.

Since then, 200+ men on POF have indicated they want to meet me; however, they are at least 20 years younger than me, they live super-far from me, and/or their English is practically non-existent. That is why I clearly spell out the kind of individual I would like to meet.

I used to dwell on the fact that everyone I know (and I mean EVERYONE) is either married or in an exclusive relationship. However, I have transformed my attitude from one of cynicism to that of gratitude and positive thinking. I would rather be by myself than in an unhealthy relationship with a man. Desperation and "settling" amount to a HUGE waste of life!
 excusezmoi
Joined: 3/11/2016
Msg: 144
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 4/22/2016 9:55:05 PM
You are so right about the lack of genuineness that is out there.

I don't blame any of the sites - paid or unpaid. They're well set up, and used properly would be wonderful tools.

I've presented myself to one or two sites - always totally honestly and respectfully. I've tried using different approaches - wordy, lists of likes/dislikes, brief, lighthearted, stodgily serious. I figured maybe because a site is free, you get what you pay for. So I tried a paid site but got the same rubbish. So may as well get free rubbish, methinks!

I work for myself, and have a belief that most people are okay. 0-5% are AWESOME, 5-90% are varying degrees of FINE and the remaining 10% are varying degrees of dodgy. I believe that most people (mainly in the 0-90% bracket) don't frequent dating sites. Of the remaining 10%, the dodgiest upper end is over represented. Anyway, what I'm saying is that 'most' does not mean 'all', so somewhere in all of what you and I experience, there is something/someone worthwhile. I guess if we didn't believe that, we wouldn't still be here.

I absolutely will not lie, fabricate, misrepresent, or omit anything in order to obtain more positive hits. Nothing/nobody is worth that.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 145
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 5/4/2016 9:58:51 PM
you ask for opinions:

Here is mine: you have a better chance to get what you are. I.E. you are fake, you will attract a fake.

A real person is more likely to get a real person.

In any case, deception does not inspire lasting relationships.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 146
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 5/8/2016 12:53:52 PM

In any case, deception does not inspire lasting relationships.


That may be the case, but it does seem to get more first meets.

"This guy I met was awful".

"Then why did you meet him in the first place?"

"He sounded so good, but he lied".
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 147
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 5/8/2016 8:05:17 PM

Here is mine: you have a better chance to get what you are. I.E. you are fake, you will attract a fake.

A real person is more likely to get a real person.

In any case, deception does not inspire lasting relationships


That's hogwash... fake people know how to "fake" you out. It's what they do.

I remember a friend of mine got married and in the first year she caught him cheating with three different women and at the time she was crying to me about it and my husband simply said, this is what he does, he knows you don't do things like this and he has been doing it for years, you caught him with three how many more do you not know about--then he said the smartest thing ever, "He knows the answers before you ever know the questions.

It's hard to protect yourself from someone on the make and I think often people get so carried away with protecting themselves that good candidates get thrown away as well. I think if the op is real that many women might sense something different about him and to most different = toss.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 148
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 5/9/2016 8:08:21 AM
Being real doesn't work. I'm walking proof of it.

An honest opening message, with referrals to specific items in their profile, nets you nothing.

I wrote messages for the first two years on here. On a rare occasion, I'd get a response. Of course none panned out.They say tall men have more luck on here. Hogwash. My profile photo, if you look closely at it, you can see my niece's head under my chin. She is 5' 5" tall. I was standing behind her, and I had to drop my head to rest my chin on her head. Yes, I lied about my height. In my profile I state I'm 6' 2''. In reality, I'm 6' 4"

I gave up throwing out messages two years ago. At least, in the forums, I get recognised as a real person. I've taken the time to read other men's profiles, trying to become more successful at writing my profile. More that a dozen re-writes netted zero. If you were to meet me in real life, you'd find out that I'm exactly the same in my profile. And on the forums. I am what I am.

Many have said I sound negative on here. Consider the circumstances. OLD is at best for me, aggravating. In, almost five years on here, I've netted little. When no one wants to take a chance on a person, then the person in question is going to get frustrated with the whole mess. This is where I vent.

In real life, I'm a problem solver. I can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. People are pleased with my work. They give me chances, trust me to do things that seem impossible to them, but I do it in such a way, that I make it looks easy. Get me out of this maddening loop, and I'll make sure that it was no mistake that you gambled on me.

One must be able to sell themselves to others, in order to be successful at dating. I'm no salesman. I never pretended to be one. My skills and work sells me. Some are born to sell, and some couldn't sell a bag of groceries to a starving man. I'm the latter. Since I know this about myself, I don't try to look foolish in the attempt. This is my bill of goods, and you choose.

I'd rather focus on the positives in life, that make me happy. Dating isn't happy for me. Establish contact, and I'll look positive to you. Because it's a positive thing that's happening to me.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 149
If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 5/9/2016 8:33:55 PM
^^ why do you say being real doesn't work and then you state you lied about your height --seriously why do that...I might like you but the first hint of a lie and height is a big one and Im no longer interested.

Being bitter gets you what? You are expect someone from your future to make up to you for things people in your past have done...why would any woman want to do that when they can find someone who isnt bitter and move forward without constantly having to reprove themselves to someone.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 150
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If you have a totally honest profile, genuine pics, etc. do you actually get genuine results?
Posted: 5/10/2016 4:52:31 PM
And you're in Florida. Now, how well would that have worked out?

Two lousy inches. I subtracted rather than added. Point out one other person on here that fudged on his or her height, in the minus column.

Reprove themselves? I haven't met a woman yet that hasn't expected that from a man. It gets old after a while. Yes, I know women need reassurance that they are important to a man. A shy guy, like me who hasn't dated much in his life, can and does miss signals that women throw. Instead of understanding that shortcoming, they get mad and take it as not caring. I've gotten hit with that one too many times. I just love spending time trying to figure what I did wrong to make her mad at me.

That issue makes me think long and hard about getting involved with women on a personal level.
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