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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from cha      Home login  
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 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 26
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Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

telling me where had I been all his life


Hmm, do they purchase that line at the LINE shop?

Believe it or not, but females also use that line often, it seems common, and used too soon it doesn't feel real. Whenever I have heard it.. I like it consciously because it makes ME feel good, but then the Spider sense goes off and I want to run for the exit because I get a sense of how it isn't going to go in the long term.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 27
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 6:01:18 PM

The in-genuine charmers tend to show cracks when dating or a relationship is tested. Then you wonder...what happened? They are not nice and bubbly and do not have this sweet charming aura about them anymore. Then reality hits and you realize it was all an act.

This is very, very, veeeeeeery true.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 28
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 6:49:09 PM
Blond j Angel- (post #8) This is VERY accurate.
Passive/aggressive types can be SO charming, indeed.
If only I had known at twenty what I know now, but I learned from it.
Passive/aggressives are really just cowards.
Long ago, I missed the signs, not anymore.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 29
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 6:51:12 PM

Hmm, do they purchase that line at the LINE shop?

Believe it or not, but females also use that line often, it seems common, and used too soon it doesn't feel real. Whenever I have heard it.. I like it consciously because it makes ME feel good, but then the Spider sense goes off and I want to run for the exit because I get a sense of how it isn't going to go in the long term.


He didn't say it in those exact words, and his actions at the beginning also seemed to be in line with his words. I had just been out of a 20 year marriage and only had a few (bad) dating experiences when I met him, and a lot of other negative things going on in my life. I was an easy target for him, because I was starved for love and affection. And that's what he gave me, and lots of it. He became like a drug for me, and when he withdrew, I went through painful withdrawal symptoms. He followed the idealization, devalue and discard cycle of the typical narc to the letter - do these guys have a manual that they go by? When I read about this disorder, I couldn't believe how much in detail it all pertained to him. It's surreal.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 30
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 7:24:41 PM

Advjoe - there is nothing reasonable in my life... I'm really tired of playing this game.


Tangofish, you sound really down. If I can do anything to help (from a thousand miles away) let me know.

2ufo
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 31
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Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 8:44:05 PM

He followed the idealization, devalue and discard cycle of the typical narc to the letter - do these guys have a manual that they go by? When I read about this disorder, I couldn't believe how much in detail it all pertained to him. It's surreal.


Sadly, there is a bit of a manual these days I am sure. Sounds like that PUA stuff a bit. But it seems like the often typical pattern of a guy not putting himself in harms way, so to speak. Emotional harm.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 32
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 8:47:17 PM
I'd love to hear about female narc experiences.

Wait...crickets. I can hear a pin dropping.

WTF?

I'm gonna start bringing a DSM-V manual to my dates so I can diagnose them when I don't get what I want.

The bullsh!t filter is getting clogged here.

I can't imagine what I'll find if I try to view my exes through the eyes of a shrink.

No thanks! Moving on...
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 33
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Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 10:08:42 PM
Thanks 2ufo, I'm just frustrated by the way my life has been going and there's no way to explain it... Because I can't even make sense of it.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 34
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/5/2015 10:26:37 PM
Sometimes life is frustrating and it all seems to happen at once.
Sometimes you get lucky and all the frustrations seem to unwind at once, making perfect sense.
Stay who you are and best of luck.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 35
chickee! its the narc
Posted: 9/6/2015 5:10:12 PM
"some people are under more pressure than others."

>>>Sometimes, that pressure is a reaction to the actions of a person who....lacks character :) not that its true for all people and situations, I used to caretake for my parents, sometimes life is what happens while you are planning other things...

used to work w/ a pass-agg who was also a hypochondriac. Amusing sarcasm does work wonders against them. oh wait, maybe that' pass-agg on the pass-agg?

People who worry about respect and getting respect....need to go back to the beginning, and learn to give themselves, SELF respect. it all begins there. no, seriously. the more self respect you have, the less respect you need to get from others. Ironically, by not chasing it all the times from others...your peace of mind can get respect.

maybe narcs are the male version, and pass-agg, the female version of the same thing. Men want to BE valued by the crowd, women prefer to GET value from the crowd.

generally speaking, natch :)
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 36
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chickee! its the narc
Posted: 9/6/2015 5:46:35 PM
Thanks for all the support. Gotta turn my phone in to the powers that be.... I'll be back in 7 days or so cya all then.
 UZEASY
Joined: 8/3/2015
Msg: 37
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:08:59 PM

Have you ever allowed yourself to be duped by a charming person, only to find out that they were a fake?


I always wonder if anger can reveal a true character of a person. As when individual is angry it reflects its true colours. A common technique that most Lawyer uses during criminal case by exploiting there opponent.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 38
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:11:22 PM

I always wonder if anger can reveal a true character of a person.

They say that few handle the character test of having authority over others. I've found it to be true. I've found it to be very true for women.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 39
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Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:13:58 PM
I had authority over multitudes of people. Sometimes you end up not sure who controls who.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 40
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/6/2015 8:03:33 PM
Tangofish, I also have some insight about where you are at. Too old to message you, but I'm right here.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 41
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/6/2015 8:10:41 PM

They say that few handle the character test of having authority over others.


That's true.

Character is also defined by the choices you make when no one is there to question.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 42
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/6/2015 11:09:34 PM
I certainly agree that TIME is the key for ascertaining character. Usually. Unless you can observe someone when they don't know they are being watched.

Which of course does not apply to all the silly folks who prefer to surf cloaked on OLD sites.

It's too bad that Forum postings are way more likely to indicate personality than character.

True or False?
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 43
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/7/2015 8:30:34 AM

I used to work with a handful of passive-aggressive people. I always enjoyed blithely ignoring them. thinking back on it, i guess that really did reinforce their behavior, but it was totally okay with me because their heads eventually exploded. not my problem.

fun stuff.


i've never worked with any passive-aggressive people, only have i seen it online, like this thread for example,
a pedestrian passive aggressive attempt at outing someone which goes to show that some lack "charm" ( why was
that originally put in exclamation points, i wonder) and have absolutely no character, at least when their heads eventually explode, it'll be contained, by wig cap

fun stuff indeed.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 44
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/7/2015 10:36:49 AM

It's too bad that Forum postings are way more likely to indicate personality than character.

True or False?


True.

You have no idea just how much it does.

Personality disorders and all.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 45
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Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/7/2015 11:23:15 AM
I think in the practical sense, since we're in the realm of personal/romantic relationships, most of us are better at knowing the type of personality we mesh with, and either don't take the time or place as much weight on their character traits. Time is always a critical element, as all "dating" seems to be speed dating, not just the events. It is difficult to find someone who's willing to make the investment of TIME, myself included, and so we look for the easiest, most convenient methods for either giving someone a decent opportunity or "clicking onto the next".

Finding someone you enjoy spending time with and getting to know is usually the first filter, then as you are opening to getting to know someone past their exterior "face" they present to the world, that's when character traits come into play, if you even get to that point at all. (nice run-on sentence there huh?) Another hurdle to this venue is most people place a lot of weight on what people tell you about themselves. We talk and talk and talk, email/text/video chat forever and many form opinions about who and what that person is based solely on verbal communication. The why isn't that mysterious - we're all so B U S Y and there are so many ways to communicate it's the easiest and most convenient. Period. I know if any of you have read through many of the threads here it is evident that the majority are paying more attention to what someone SAYS than to what they DO. My litmus test for sincerity/genuineness is do words and actions match.

It's a highly personalized process (isn't that a romantic word) and perhaps not even the same with everyone you meet. I think we all try to refine and learn as we go, per se but there is no foolproof or crib note method that works for everyone.
 vatives
Joined: 9/2/2015
Msg: 46
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/7/2015 1:17:12 PM

I used to work with a handful of passive-aggressive people. I always enjoyed blithely ignoring them. thinking back on it, i guess that really did reinforce their behavior, but it was totally okay with me because their heads eventually exploded. not my problem.

fun stuff.


You are a real sweetheart. LOL. Too bad you can't ignore people here.
 tequila157
Joined: 9/3/2015
Msg: 47
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/7/2015 10:20:00 PM
"Have you ever allowed yourself to be duped by a charming person, only to find out that they were a fake?"

Yes in my younger days. Now "personality" doesn't mean much to me. FYI, anyone can have a great personality if they wanted to.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 48
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/9/2015 6:54:57 AM

Too bad you can't ignore people here.

i'm not having any trouble ignoring you and your insane rants on these forums
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 49
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/9/2015 7:15:29 AM

Too bad you can't ignore people here.

i'm not having any trouble ignoring you and your insane rants on these forums


Ignore as a software feature doesn't work very well. I used to try it on yahoo, but people replied so often to those I was ignoring I had to change the setting.

Far easier to just dismiss some posts as being delusional, like the homeless person on the street, I don't ponder what they say after I pass them by.
 hahashakeoff997
Joined: 9/6/2015
Msg: 50
Personality vs. Character -The key to discerning personality from character is time
Posted: 9/9/2015 10:28:25 PM
Most people are dopes. You only accept lies when there's something lacking in you that draws to it. Usually it's a selfish reason to want to believe. If you listen to the truth, God's truth you would know
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