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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > 60-ish men with toddlers ...      Home login  
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 474lakebreeze
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 101
60-ish men with toddlers ...Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Walts is bang on.

In regard to "mail order brides", the majority of brides coming from other countries are cultural as in someone returning to their home country for marriage; a man returning to Lebanon for a Lebanese wife or a man returning to India for an Idian wife., etc. The white guys going off to the Philippines, Taiwan or the Ukraine makes up a very small percentage.
 rhinestonesky
Joined: 6/9/2015
Msg: 102
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/19/2015 5:08:27 PM
I can't stand when people don't deal in facts. You are wrong. According to the Dept. of Homeland Security website the top countries for foreign brides in order are 1. Russia 2. Thailand 3. China 4. Ukraine 5. Philipines.
 474lakebreeze
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 103
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/19/2015 5:25:19 PM
Hmm. I thought we were all guessing here as I didn't see any data, facts or quotes or websites cited to back up the comments you made originally, I can't stand when people don't do that and then get cranky at others who do the same.
 rhinestonesky
Joined: 6/9/2015
Msg: 104
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/20/2015 7:54:41 AM
@474lakebreeze: Hmm, in a couple of posts I shared my personal experiences which don't require validation or statistics. When you start throwing around "facts" that's when I did some research and turns out your facts were made up. I simply looked at the government website and posted which countries women are really coming from since the government keeps track. "Cranky" is your word. I also dislike when people who are wrong use insults to try and save face, or redirect the conversation. That happens a lot on these forums, endless threads where because a person is called out for making things up they start insulting people and it goes back and forth endlessly. I have nothing unkind or ugly to say to or about you, just that you were wrong. And I posted the correct info.
 tacitly
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 105
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/20/2015 8:16:05 AM
Perhaps there is some jealousy here. Women have a biological clock that ticks down. Men don't. Men can procreate well into old age. What could possibly account for women here voicing criticism of guys who are older when they father children if not jealousy? If not that, the criticism makes zero sense. Why would any woman otherwise possibly care about an older father who has no impact on her life?
 474lakebreeze
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 106
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/20/2015 8:18:16 AM
Well, my original post regarding mail order bides was going by my observations and experiences and not statistics or I would have looked up and posted stats and cited my sources. For example, I know 8 Lebanese-Canadian brothers that returned to Lebanon to find a wife, their only sister did the same. I know many in the Lananese community and many find a bride/groom in this manner. I don't consider this one family in stats for "mail order brides", they are following their culture. I know a few East Indians that have done the same. My experience, not posted as facts, data, statistics or gospel. I will, in future postings, add "in my experience" and that should help clarify things.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 107
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:43:57 PM

Perhaps there is some jealousy here. Women have a biological clock that ticks down. Men don't. Men can procreate well into old age. What could possibly account for women here voicing criticism of guys who are older when they father children if not jealousy? If not that, the criticism makes zero sense. Why would any woman otherwise possibly care about an older father who has no impact on her life?


Spoken by a person who has never carried and given birth to a child --seriously--there is no jealousy of a man's ability to procreate after a certain age...the mean spirited author of this thread was jealous of men who have married younger women and it was just a way for her to try and poke and mock them for it after a failed married which she showed by her choice of terminology when she said the father was "stuck" with the children.

She doesn't see how hurtful her words are to individuals who have taken on responsibilities for their family members who might have died or even for a man who's wife might have passed--it was just to try and validate or feel superior for life choices..
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 108
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History
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/21/2015 5:22:06 AM
Honestly who would be jealous of an old fart having children by someone half his age. Just because men can procreate and with the aid of the little blue pill at a certain age, does not mean they should. They don't consider the children at all. There is faultier and weaker genes and DNA at an older age and the children often inherent those weaknesses.
If anyone on a forum is going to be all hurt by comments from strangers then that is their issue.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 109
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/21/2015 6:39:55 AM
What message 110 said, +1. I'm not jealous at all at men's ability to be able to have children at "any age". I'm glad when my baby factory is officially out of commission, I've had my kids and I don't want any more. I get constant reminders of the rigors and stresses of babies and toddlers every day at work and I'm glad I'm past that stage with my kids. I enjoy having more freedom, not having to hire a babysitter every time I leave the house, the sleepless nights, etc. I see the much older man with his 20-something mail order bride at work with their newborn, and everybody wonders if he is grandpa. It looks weird. Also, those mail order brides for the most part are no beauty queens at all. Why these guys chose them over some attractive women their age (50s and 60s) is beyond me, but hey, to each their own. Certainly NOT jealous "I can't have" (right!) a 60 year old's trophy babies.
 474lakebreeze
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 110
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/21/2015 8:03:50 AM
Msg. 110. Hmm. Maybe "jealous" is not the right word, I agree. But the nastiness of "old fart" and "with the aid of the little blue pill" is not necessary and is sort of rude. You're older, probably lie about your age like some of us women do, do you want to be referred to as an "old fart" or a"dried up old lady"?

I don't much care how someone chooses to live their life and they shouldn't be telling me or us how to live ours. As for mail order brides, if we go by the information provided by Rhino above, about .3% of marriages in the U.S. are mail order brides of some sort, less than 1%. Who cares, its a non issue IMO.

And why knock the mail order bride? Her chances of a successful relationship are about the same as any other North American woman. Look at this and any other dating site, they are full of divorced and multi-divorced. So why slam some young gal from Taiwan who wants to make a better life for herself and her family or start a family. And why slam the man for wanting a second chance.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 111
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/21/2015 10:47:48 AM
Maybe the first wife left him?

Anyway, it seems a class issue in some respect. Upper class in income and society seem to have less of a problem with it.

They weren't having babies at 15 18 29 so there was freedom and a lot of traveling and living.
 nukedking
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 112
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/21/2015 10:56:09 AM

Honestly who would be jealous of an old fart having children by someone half his age. Just because men can procreate and with the aid of the little blue pill at a certain age, does not mean they should. They don't consider the children at all.


Sounds kind of Nazish to me. Only the master race will be allowed to procreate . . . the older, the disabled, the stupid, the weak . . . NO because it might affect the children. Not that an older father will produce defective children, only that an older father might produce a defective child, so procreation should be off limits.

You know what might affect the children even more? Not being born. I am guessing that some of them would vote for a fighting chance at life instead of non-existence.

And who would be jealous of an “old fart” with a young partner and a young wife? . . . well I would guess an old fart woman would be the most likely candidate. Can’t imagine a guy concerning himself with who decides to procreate at older ages or not. Guys just don’t think like that. They worry more about what they are getting, not so worried about what someone else is getting that they are not. Just the way it is.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 113
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/21/2015 2:02:46 PM

Honestly who would be jealous of an old fart having children by someone half his age. Just because men can procreate and with the aid of the little blue pill at a certain age, does not mean they should.


Ok --I bet she was a bit green when she was typing this...maybe some jealousy does exist then
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 114
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 12:33:57 PM
Yes. If that is not hostility or derision, what qualifies?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 115
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 1:54:58 PM
MissScawlett- I understand.
The age of the man is not as much the issue (for me) as the age of the child.
My youngest is 16, I am NOT starting over with a little one.
I do not respond to profiles of men with children who are less than 14 years of age, ideally the kids are grown and out of the house, my oldest is, my daughter (the middle child) is saving to move out and as I said, the youngest is 16, so in two years he will be off to collage.
I have grand children, but I can spend time with them and then send them back with my (oldest) son.
I just do NOT have the patience to deal with a little one at this point.
 Hands0nGuy
Joined: 11/21/2014
Msg: 116
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History
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 2:26:11 PM
I'm 55, my youngest is 9, and I consider myself lucky to have her. She's a blast.
I just look for women with kids in the same age range as mine, which generally means women in their mid 40's max.
That works fine for me.
 baconflavoredbacon
Joined: 9/12/2015
Msg: 117
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 2:39:43 PM
The max? What if they're your age with same aged child. No good because they're your age with same aged child?

It's your bacon and your choice, at the end of the day.
 baconflavoredbacon
Joined: 9/12/2015
Msg: 118
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 2:43:30 PM
I don't think jealousy has anything to do with it.

By that age, women are long past raising their children and have grandchildren by then. If they're not raising their grandchildren and they have time for themselves, where would be the jealousy of a man who doesn't have time and resources to date?

I think the OP was driving at the lack of availability of men in her age bracket availability to her with lack of availability because they have started to raise families at such an advanced age. It Has considerably less to do with what the men do with their winkies.

I need a bacon beer.


 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 119
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 2:49:19 PM
You see me with a toddler...we're shooting a sequel to "The Millers" Grandparent edition. Where's my Jennifer Aniston at? :/
 Hands0nGuy
Joined: 11/21/2014
Msg: 120
view profile
History
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 3:11:53 PM

The max? What if they're your age with same aged child. No good because they're your age with same aged child?


Oh no, don't misunderstand. I meant as a practical matter I don't see women close to my age with such young kids.
Most women closer to my age are empty nesters and some are even retired.
They have way more free time than I do.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 121
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 5:02:29 PM
Why do people who disagree with others always throw out the “jealousy” thing? Is that the Sarah Palin rule of pathetically weak arguments? “Oh you don’t want to date an old man with toddlers because you’re just jealous!!” WTF is there to be jealous of? take all the geezers with babies and good luck to you!
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 122
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 5:43:36 PM

Oh no, don't misunderstand. I meant as a practical matter I don't see women close to my age with such young kids.
Most women closer to my age are empty nesters and some are even retired.
They have way more free time than I do.


^^^ Exactly.

That is why people like me who are child free are seeking a partner who is also child free.
We have more time to do things with our adult partner.

You have proven our point very well.

p.s.
have 4 kids at home ranging in age from 9 to 20. I share this home with my eventual ex

^^ Thank you for making this clear in your profile so the ladies are aware of your situation.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 123
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 7:43:30 PM
sealady111- Since I am a mom, I get some interesting reactions if I admit that having a young child is a deal breaker for me.
"But you have children, I thought you would understand"
That's a polite example, some of the messages I have received when I say this are just vile.
I had my first child at 19, my last at 30, I have now been raising children for 28 years. Two more years and the youngest will be off to college.
Yes, I have kids, but they are NOT children anymore, two of them are adults and one is getting close.
I love them with all my heart, of course, but honestly, I am looking forward to having the house to myself when they are all on their own.
If a man tells me he is looking for someone without children, I understand, but wow, do SOME get really pissy when I explain why I won't date a man with young children.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 124
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 8:18:08 PM
Is it correct based on the two threads"

"60-ish men with toddlers" and "Sincerely with our Dogs and Cats..."

one CAN reject someone who has a young child but HOW DARE YOU reject someone who has a dog or a cat?
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 125
60-ish men with toddlers ...
Posted: 9/23/2015 10:49:30 PM
I have tried dating absolutely lovely men with children and/or other commitments.
Despite being lovely, the time they have available to date and do things is significantly different to me.

The same with men who are not working, either through unemployment or retirement.
I work full time. So again we have different available time.

I tried with a man ( we lived together for 18 months) his youngest child was 16. Thinking that would be OK.
She even moved in with me and him in my house for a time.

Since then only ever adult kids. Fully independent and sensible. Or none.
(By sensible I mean sensible. Not in and out of prison, on drugs, violent or anything else that requires a massive amount of time and care. Been there, done that.)

I am not cut out to be a carer, mum, or worse an evil step mother.

Grandchildren are an entirely different matter.
I will happily feed anyone's kids red cordial and get them all excited then hand them back.
Great fun.

Or even feed them Gingerbread......... cackle, cackle.
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