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 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 76
where the truth liesPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

SLAFFA :
But there appears to be a "new" Forumite not only using fake pictures but ones of the wrong sex. That's quite a far cry from "stretching the truth".


I thought the same thing too, but for the life of me I can't find "her" pictures anywhere. Tried TinEye, and Google.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 77
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The lies!
Posted: 9/27/2015 2:02:35 AM

Simply doing a 'base' unfiltered search of POF without signing in (I open fresh browser page)

Okay, so they don't come up in a search (logged out) at all. OK. What's wrong with that, though? Blocked people still come up in my search (odd, right?). I've hid my profile for a while before. It's good not to be a common-face around for a while when you're not on the dating prowl.

Kind of like on Match, to hide your profile for a while when you're not paying and not really looking to be dating from it -- taking a "break". Then coming back. Kind of like deleting your whole account then making a new one later. Being a more 'fresh face' to the system. Not popping up everywhere all the time, etc. Is it weird to have your profile as hidden? An old friend of mine got hit up on POF by a great gal who had her profile hidden, after I made his profile for him. She became his first "online date". And he married her. Innocent gal. Virgin, too (no lie!).
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 78
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The lies!
Posted: 9/27/2015 2:21:31 AM

Okay, so they don't come up in a search (logged out) at all. OK. What's wrong with that, though?

Nothing 'wrong' with it, except (to me) it unequals the playing field... down here - many of the men who go off to 'trial' a situationship 'hide' their profiles... and then continue to come into POF to cheat and approach new women/shop for something better. As mentioned in another thread on Relationships - sometimes POF will 'auto hide' a users profile for a number of reasons - sometimes if a user has been 'blocked' too many times. The 'unwary' woman and victim, won't figure this out. I like ask - to 'sus' this factor out. (please note, my POF search paremeters come up with 300 possible matches in my town , and close to 200 of those are only after sex.... so I kinda live by the principle of don't be selective about who approaches you - but be selective about who you make time for.... )


Blocked people still come up in my search (odd, right?).

Because as I understand it, blocking doesn't prevent them from 'viewing' your profile, just sets off a lock algorithm from 'contacting' you. (having been blocked once - I experienced this) This is a factor of POF that I don't like.
 baconflavoredbacon
Joined: 9/12/2015
Msg: 79
where the truth lies
Posted: 9/27/2015 3:34:13 AM
that said main profile pic -- at least what I could see of the thumbnail -- resembles a Desi actress.
 Lindsay_G
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 80
The lies!
Posted: 9/27/2015 1:41:50 PM
Whatsamatterbaby - a lie has always bee an issue. That is nothing new. Lies have occurred consistently since the dawn of dating sites. So do not be so surprised.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 81
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The lies!
Posted: 9/27/2015 3:31:09 PM

Nothing 'wrong' with it, except (to me) it unequals the playing field...

How does it make it unequal? It's not an equal playing field anyway, as there's many more men than women (sausage fest), and even though it's to a bit of a lesser extent, guys are still expected to write than vice versa. To temporarily "go offline" or to go into people-watching mode and say Hi if someone catches their eye isn't "unfair" to anyone. It has it's negatives too (no gals to come across and say Hi to ya, or Yes on Meet Me which is at least an indicator). Again, there's no right or wrong about it... It's not purely hidden. You can still click on their profile, when he writes you. So for a guy writing you, it's not cheating you out of jack squat.

many of the men who go off to 'trial' a situationship 'hide' their profiles... and then continue to come into POF to cheat and approach new women/shop for something better.

Ahhhh, ok -- guilt by association. Yeah, that's fair. ;) And yeah, there's many little things that people will be overly judgmental about, "looking out for themselves". That's one of them, sure. And that's a negative to one hiding their profile from being Actively viewable in searches and such. Actually, not having a public picture would be it. It's not like there's a tendency to have a username as their first name and describe themselves to a tee recognizably by a friend or relative in their profile. You should have that issue with someone who has private pics, even if they warrant you to see them.

It's guilt by association, but you have to admit you're hasty on it (for your own benefit). People who are teachers or working in more the public sphere are going to have private pictures. IMO, that's more of a "hidden" thing than keeping your profile from cropping up all the time to have more of a fresh face. But that's beside the point -- it's the concept that they're not showing Everything to all users in every way. Because it's guilt by association.

Well, one could do that to online dating in general, notably on a freebie site like POF. Plus, some people may have marked their profile as hidden -- which is a good idea if they're not writing anyone or truly using it for a while (maybe once-in-a-while mall-watching at the most), forgot they set it as hidden when they got back into it. It's nothing unfair to the other users. It's just casting them out via guilt-by-association, even though No, there's nothing wrong with it in principle.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 82
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The lies!
Posted: 9/27/2015 9:26:03 PM
OP, going on a theme from your OP.... If indeed lying is the new rule.....

If so, a habitual and frequent liar may simply be following the propagandists way of thought. I mean, the idea that if you tell a lie often enough and passionately it'll eventually be taken as fact.

If the profile fibbers are following this line of thinking maybe they're just Re inventing themselves? Maybe they're just passionate about themselves? Want all to know who they aren't. And the truth be damned.... Yet glorify... The lie.

And, navigating through the minefield of OLD without hitting these charges of exploding lies, fabrications and fictional delusions is just part of the world here. Hell, I might not even be real... But, if I can lie with a degree of entertainment and intrigue I could probably suck in the most savvy and aware of any here.... This whole post can apply to either gender incidentially and it's only my opinion.... Or, is it just a bunch of L I E S ??
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 83
The lies!
Posted: 10/15/2015 9:48:42 PM
Today's first meet man said he was 5'9" about 5'5" turned up.
He had not bathed recently, visible dandruff, teeth that looked like they were long overdue for a brush and he had 'old man smell'.
Supposedly average, he is much fatter than me.


He is from a paid site.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 84
The lies!
Posted: 10/15/2015 10:41:47 PM
^ Maybe when he stands up really, reeeally straight...
 bAc0nflav0redbac0n
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 85
The lies!
Posted: 10/16/2015 4:22:42 AM
I look at it this way:

If a guy wants to meet me, he shouldn't expect much. I'm tall and pretty; but the way I eat bacon could disgust even the most avid bacon lover. I spare no recipe from bacon: I'll eat bacon-wrapped salmon pinwheels, if I must. If he shows up nothing like how he presents himself online, he shouldnt be surprised that I show up looking like extra crispy bacon.

people rarely present themselves as they represent online. Enhanced selfies have been the source of disappointment for many hopefuls for hundreds f years. People showed up smelling, stinking, dramatically shorter than what's fabled in portraits.

It's impossible to represent yourself in every aspect of your life, in your profile. You're allowed to keep some things secretly to yourself. I would not suggest anybody to reveal more than they should. Sure, it's disappointing to see somebody not as advertised, but sometimes the complainers aren't. Either.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 86
The lies!
Posted: 10/16/2015 6:53:08 AM
It's like a BLT. Each ingredient has a particular taste that seem to be different, but when put together it explodes with a different sense of flavor. But I personally would feel betrayed if I found out she had Maple bacon instead of simply thin crisp, crunchy bacon.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 87
The lies!
Posted: 10/16/2015 11:21:10 AM

Today's first meet man said he was 5'9" about 5'5" turned up.
He had not bathed recently, visible dandruff, teeth that looked like they were long overdue for a brush and he had 'old man smell'.
Supposedly average, he is much fatter than me.


He is from a paid site.


And still he got the meet.

He had a "nice" photo, right?
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 88
The lies!
Posted: 10/16/2015 12:48:30 PM
No. He did not have a nice photo.
No smile but he did live locally and we had some similar interests.
He actually looked better in person as he smiled also had a lovely telephone voice.

Most of his stories were from the 1970's.
He is a retired widower. And older than he states on his profile.

I got the impression that he is very lonely and rarely goes out.
Because of that I stayed for a fish and chips lunch rather than just the coffee.
He has sent me a few messages saying how much he enjoyed meeting me.

I have informed him that I think we are too different but I wish him well.

 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 89
The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 11:52:18 AM
A gal's profile said she had no children.

Come to find out she has a son in his 20s living with his dad.

Or the widower that re-married and divorced again since his death. Odd stuff.

People are funny how they market themselves!
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 90
The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 12:15:12 PM
Uh-oh. If you say you're single and you're divorced, you're lying? Whoopsie.

Somebody answer me!!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 91
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The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 2:10:39 PM
Yes I lie. On my profile, it says I'm 6'2". I'm really 6'3" and if I come to a meet, I'll be 6' 5" in my beloved boots I've had since high school. I said I weigh 195 pounds. I might have been eating big over the week, and could be 3-5 pounds more. It says I'm single, but I'm married to my job, dogs, house, my favorite skoot. a not so new rusty truck, and a few other assorted things that catch my attention. I might be divorcing my truck soon because I'm attempting to repair a van that a friend gave me.

After that, it's hit and miss if you think I'm a liar.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 92
The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 2:15:46 PM
I lie, not on my profile, but when asked elsewhere. I round down to the nearest ...5 pounds. Only at docs do I round up to the nearest ...0
:)
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 93
The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 2:18:50 PM
Okkkk...

Truth be told, I thought height on a profile meant height with shoes on, right?

I mean, when we meet, I'll be wearing shoes and not socks.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 94
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The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 3:08:40 PM

Truth be told, I thought height on a profile meant height with shoes on, right?

Naw. Otherwise guys wouldn't be on average 6 inches taller than girls, but more like 3-4 inches taller due to heels vs average shoes. Of course, if a girl does, a guy's not going to cry about it.

Bob: "Yeah, so I met Sally on a date... she was really hot when I met her. We had a few too many drinks, made out at the bar... went back to my place where I was about to ravage her silly... but she takes off her footwear -- and the lie's exposed! She said she was 5'6" -- she was like, 5'2"! I was like, get out, and buy a cab home!"

Joe: "The NERVE of that woman!"

Yeah, that's not going to happen. :) Many girls on the other hand, many times self-described as less superficial, would flip out since height-in-socks is extremely important. lol
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 95
The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 3:33:01 PM
Everybody's the comedian. I guess nobody's going to answer me about whether I'm lying in saying I'm single??
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 96
The lies!
Posted: 10/17/2015 4:15:34 PM
^^
You could always revive this thread.

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8414433.aspx
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 97
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The lies!
Posted: 10/18/2015 8:59:05 PM

Uh-oh. If you say you're single and you're divorced, you're lying? Whoopsie.

IMO, in most cases, Yes. Technically you could say you didn't see Divorced and saw Single first and that fit but didn't put it into context -- so yeah, that would be not necessarily lying, but sloppy. :)

It's more like a multiple choice test where it's "Choose the Best answer", but there's only 1 right answer. Remember, it's not a true/false question. It's the Conditions of you being single (or not) -- not whether you simply are or not.

I guess you could make the case you're not lying if, say, your marriage->divorce was something that happened at 18 as some drunken thing and couldn't get it nullified but ended up having to go thru a divorce on paper to get out of it.... I could understand that, as merely having That wouldn't put you in the same boat as 99.99% of the people Divorced.

But yeah, people will lie and say "Single" and not Divorced, among many other things.
 use_whose_name
Joined: 9/20/2013
Msg: 98
The lies!
Posted: 10/20/2015 4:52:15 PM
My driver's license says I'm 5'9", but I say I'm 5'10" on dating sites because every time I measure myself, I get 5'9+3/4". Where do I sign up to have my pants set on fire?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 99
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The lies!
Posted: 10/20/2015 10:56:52 PM

My driver's license says I'm 5'9"

Many licenses, when you renew them, don't measure you -- they just ask. So if you are 5'9"+ 3/4" -- you lied on your drivers license, but not online... as you are more 5'10" than 5'9".
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 100
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The lies!
Posted: 10/21/2015 4:02:01 PM
^ Well...technically...if you are 5'9" & 3/4, you are 5'9" even though that isn't all you are, but you aren't 5'10" just because you're closer to that than the other. You're still 5'9", but not 5'10" because you're a quarter away from that.
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