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 Lindsay_G
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 101
What does a backrub mean to you?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Well said, so in my words, guys will distort the reality on the hopes of bagging a woman, yet most times end up on the sort end of the stick.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 102
must be a G thang
Posted: 9/25/2015 10:42:48 AM
yes, guys generally will focus on their sort end, or their short end, of their stick. Programmed to propagate the species, and all that. "distort" is such an ugly word, let's say we all just hope-beyond-hope we can get some physical pleasure, to the point of blinding our own selves to reality. Making a connection may not (Again, generally speaking) be a main focus since, generally speaking, its the females who are the more socially-focused gender.
 Lindsay_G
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 103
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 11:27:06 AM
Hey spirit,

I already know all this. Yet the point still remains, most men have nothing on their minds but sex. They cannot distinguish simple flirting as an act or just being flirty without some expectation. Many women flirt with men and have no desire to be with them. A back rub is not an intimate situation all times. It is not the woman looking for anything from the man. Hence why men need to learn when the woman is looking to get their attention and when they are not. After centuries of educating them, to this day they still do not get it.


BigDaddy - you get it, your comments indicate you understand what most men do not.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 104
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 11:32:06 AM

.....so take note, especially when around guys you don't know so well.


Why would a woman let a guy she hardly knows give her a back rub/massage? I could see it if she goes to a spa and has a masseur do it, who she doesn't really know-but not some guy she met on a date. If a guy is massaging/giving a back rub to a woman, it means they're either at his place or her place. What would you expect a guy to think if a woman invites him to her place or she accepts an invitation to his place, and there is physical contact?

How many women will say to a guy: "I want you to come to my place/go to your place to rub my back, but don't expect any other physical contact." Women should put in there profile: "I will only date guys who can read my mind."
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 105
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must be a G thang
Posted: 9/25/2015 11:33:20 AM

yes, guys generally will focus on their sort end, or their short end, of their stick. Programmed to propagate the species, and all that. "distort" is such an ugly word, let's say we all just hope-beyond-hope we can get some physical pleasure, to the point of blinding our own selves to reality


I guess I'm an outlier, and just not 16 years old any more. lol

It is quite simple for me. If I value the friendship and if a back-rub is in order that's more than sufficient motivation to give a back-rub and I'd be happy to do it for a friend as I would expect the friend would be just as likely to return the favor in friendship had I looked like I needed one. I'm fit and like to make myself useful, so it's no big deal.

Someone nice enough to give a back-rub to a friend is investing a lot of effort, because a good back-rub isn't as simple as a pat on the back. If the "friend" thought I was ending up on the 'short end of the stick', I would just think they are not my friend, but just a selfish person who is using me and they wouldn't be a friend or get a back-rub.

It is the same concept as buying a woman friend lunch. If it is for having a good time, who pays is of no significance. But if one is thinks by doing it, "this is gonna get me into someone's pants" or "I'll play on his 'hope-'beyond-hope' that he will get something more" and get the lunch out of him, neither is my idea of a friend with whom I'd even particularly want to sit down with for a coffee .

This hope-beyond-hope business sounds plain desperate, and this distorting/short end of the stick business sounds manipulative and selfish. A back-rub is just a back-rub or anything else it is used as a pretext to be in its context. The only difference I see between men and women on the interpretation is that men seem to have greater facility to talk with their hands, while women seem to talk more with their hearts. Nothing a quick slap on the wrist or a cold shoulder won't instantly clarify.

The original question posed specifically asked if you would give a back-rub

gtomustang asked:
"to someone you weren't thinking about having sex with"


So, yes. Of course. And it could be anyone who didn't have a partner who could take care of her. Guys, how did this suddenly morph strictly into a hot woman you want more with when the premise was you don't? It is with someone you aren't interested in that sense. Get a bucket of water and sit in it! Or go to a nursing home, find a lonely person who needs a friend, become friends and when they need a back-rub don't think silly thoughts.

JMO. Cheers.
 Lindsay_G
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 106
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 11:50:41 AM
maleman999 - it is not about a MASSAGE. I swear most men have a reading disability, do not have female friends that are nothing more than true friends, and accepting an invitation to his\he house does not constitute intimacy at any level.

As usual, mens views are consistently distorted. And distorted is an accurate word.

To answer your question, because maybe she may have a kink in her neck or back. That dose not require a spa, removing cloths, etc

9pluto, again the rear exception of a guy who gets it
 ShipForBrains
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 107
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must be a G thang
Posted: 9/25/2015 12:02:51 PM
The relevant question is “what does it mean to you”?

Someone might say “boat” and to one person they may think “raft” while another person envisions a “ship”. Men and woman are not at odds with what “raft” and “ship” means unless we further complicate things and break down “raft” into “trees tied together” or “dingy”.

“sensual back rub” means “sensual back rub”.
“Platonic full frontal massage” means “Platonic full frontal massage”
“therapeutic deep muscle adjustment” means “therapeutic deep muscle adjustment”
“doggy style sex” means “doggy style sex”
And the list goes on and on…
Why are we arguing about what “boat” means to each other? We should be discussing why there is a communication gap between us. Why does one gender want to throw out clues in hopes of finding someone that understands them and why does the other want it spelled out for them? Men don’t often play crossword puzzles as much as the woman do...we write them.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 108
talkin' about my dinghy
Posted: 9/25/2015 12:13:42 PM
Well, one of the reasons we have a communication gap, is our definitions. Mars and Venus and pulling words out of Uranus. Another reason, of course, is some of us are so focused on getting our point across, we don't leave time for listening to the point of others. and another reason is someone may feel uncomfortable with an important issue, so they stay with vague words and hope the other "gets it". and yet another reason is different backgrounds--what one takes for granted b/c its been in their life since birth, may be a lifetime goal for another.

sometimes, we don't understand the other person b/c...they're clearly saying what we don't want to hear, so we can't hear them say what we wish they would say, and never will.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 109
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What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 12:48:28 PM

To Coma_White - The topic is a back rub.

To both of you - please stay with the topic, not your typical guy distortions. IT IS NOT ABOUT A MASSAGE, IT IS NOT ABOUT REMOVING CLOTHS. both of your responses show clear immaturity and ignorance.


There is nothing "immature" or "ignorant" about dealing in reality. You're choosing to engage in high school debating tactics, which is to attack the person presenting the argument instead of addressing what they say.
The point is that you're not simply platonic friends if the men are attracted to you and would engage in sexual intercourse with you if you asked them. Avoiding the question doesn't make the person asking it ignorant. Most men will jump at the opportunity to massage a female friend because they're attracted to them. These aren't standard friendships. They are men that you or other women put in the friend-zone but are still hoping to be with you.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 110
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 1:04:42 PM

These aren't standard friendships. They are men that you or other women put in the friend-zone but are still hoping to be with you.


I have to agree with this statement. I've seen it so many times. The hot girl with her cadre of friend-zoned guys, jumping hoops for her. Until some guy comes along and says, Fvck no and plays by his rules. And If he gives her a massage it ends up with breakfast in bed and an additional morning massage.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 111
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 1:35:17 PM

As usual, mens views are consistently distorted. And distorted is an accurate word.


As usual, women expect guys to be mind readers and know exactly what a woman is thinking. Now that is distorted.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 112
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 1:39:11 PM
What I find far more interesting than any of this is pondering why a man would create a profile of a hot woman and proceed to debate relatively mundane subjects under that guise?
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 113
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 1:50:41 PM
^^^^^^Someone taking a break from their gender identity issues? *Shrugs shoulders
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 114
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 1:52:21 PM

Whatsamatterbaby on 9/25/2015 311 PM
Subject: What does a backrub mean to you?
Message: What I find far more interesting than any of this is pondering why a man would create a profile of a hot woman and proceed to debate relatively mundane subjects under that guise?


+1

And what's with these people who wear (and remove) "CLOTHS"

:eyeroll:
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 115
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 1:58:04 PM

And what's with these people who wear (and remove) "CLOTHS"


There are of course Men of the Cloth.
There's a sub group of the Goth called the Cloths. They wear black leather, black hair but for shoes they use Clogs, they are so stylish.
It's also a common term in cardiology "Sorry sir, but you have a cloths artery and we are going to have to operate."

So there you have it.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 116
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 2:10:28 PM

There are of course Men of the Cloth.
There's a sub group of the Goth called the Cloths. They wear black leather, black hair but for shoes they use Clogs, they are so stylish.


haha

I love clogs

Are you referring to the 'Visi-Cloths'? Genealogists have traced my family line back to those fun-loving folks!

'Men of the Cloth'? I've always been a little suspicious of those guys, though this Francis Fellow seems kind of cool. ;-)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 117
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 2:17:15 PM

'Men of the Cloth'? I've always been a little suspicious of those guys, though this Francis Fellow seems kind of cool. ;-)


In Cuba they wanted to welcome the pope in English, so obviously the translated from Bienvenido Papa to the English equivalent: Welcome Potato.

Go figure.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 118
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 2:26:16 PM

In Cuba they wanted to welcome the pope in English, so obviously the translated from Bienvenido Papa to the English equivalent: Welcome Potato.

Go figure.


Oops~

But hey, the lowly potato has given sustenance to many people.

And now that I reflect upon it, does 'Mister Potato Head' the child's interactive toy, not closely resemble the Pontiff?

No offense intended at all.

I predict a lot of us 'Lapsed Lutherans' might go back over to the dark side.
 Lindsay_G
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 119
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 3:30:00 PM
to Coma_Whiter - then get into reality. not your perception of it

You could not debate a dead dog.
 Lindsay_G
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 120
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 3:37:31 PM
to maleman999 - as usual lets blame the woman for the mans inadequacies. Because men thought thought they knew more than women, they ended up clueless.

In this case, what I posted earlier, a moron would have figured it out. I guess you are lower.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 121
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What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 3:39:54 PM

to Coma_Whiter - them get into reality. not your perception of it

You could not debate a dead dog.


I am in reality. You're avoiding direct questions and pretending that men aren't attracted to their female friends. Avoiding questions and using high school debating tactics doesn't make you an authority on debating.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 122
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 3:51:35 PM

In this case, what I posted earlier, a moron would have figured it out. I guess you are lower.


Aren't you a sweet thing. With all of the name calling and extreme bitterness, who is really the lower one?
 apple-of-your-eye
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 123
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 3:56:03 PM
=
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 124
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What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 4:02:12 PM

and pretending that men aren't attracted to their female friends


Coma, There are many forms of attraction so please don't force a false dichotomy.

The above ^^^ declaration sounds doubly fallacious to me, in that my interpretation of it is that you suggest ALL men are attracted to ALL female friends.

If you can still make your point with SOME men being attracted to SOME female friends, or even ALL men attracted to SOME (!), I'll be able to follow the logic.

The argument fails also as due to bait and switch, another fallacy. The original question was if the back rub giver would give the rub if they were not attracted to the back rub recipient. Now you are arguing that the back rub recipient should accept the back rub giver is attracted to them. He is or he isn't, can't have it both ways. An argument with a moving target is only an argument for argument's sake.
 apple-of-your-eye
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 125
What does a backrub mean to you?
Posted: 9/25/2015 4:38:09 PM
9ploto says:
There are many forms of attraction so please don't force a false dichotomy


Most Psychologists define the ATTRACTION PYRAMID as:
LOGIC, EMOTION, PHYSICAL HEALTH and STATUS

STATUS can be further broken down into:
INTERNAL - confidence, skill set & belief system
EXTERNAL - job, material possessions & visual markers
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