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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)      Home login  
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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 76
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

^^^I tend to get the guy to meet me at my house with my parents around. A little confronting but more safe.


Are you in high school? If a woman feels she needs family members present when meeting someone, she can keep looking for someone who is also stuck in a teeny bopper time warp.
 MillaKitten92
Joined: 9/23/2015
Msg: 77
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 9:43:06 AM

Are you in high school? If a woman feels she needs family members present when meeting someone, she can keep looking for someone who is also stuck in a teeny bopper time warp.


I don't have to justify myself to anyone on here but... I don't drive yet. If you had seen me here before it becomes pretty obvious why I'd get a man to meet me at my house. I have social anxiety, general anxiety, depression, excoriation and psychosis disorders annd a neurological condition. For some reason my psychiatrist thinks I have borderline personality disorder but I need to go back and such for more follow ups. Mental illness is very pervasive in my life. I've only ever used a buss or train like once or twice. I can't go anywhere on my own either. I don't know I haven't been able to feel anything for 2 weeks not quite sure why.

Plus it's nice and comfortable. I'd feel less comfortable being dropped off to be with basically a stranger at some random place honestly.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 78
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 10:05:03 AM
Some "accidents" are staged by criminals.

I have never, nor will I, give my ID to another driver in case of an accident.
I will only give this info to the proper law authority/police officer.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 79
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 12:18:06 PM
What if it's car accident and it happened to be your fault. By law in Georgia, you have to provide your insurance provider and driver's information to the other person. But here's the thing. If you have such accident in the parking lot of Walmart, you're in private property and police will not issue a police report unless someone got hurt.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 80
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 12:32:11 PM
InnerGorilla...if one truly wants a police officer present all it would need is a call like this to get the job done pronto:

"...Hello, 9-1-1 operator? My name is TennisGirl123 and I just had a vehicle accident.
We are in the Wal*Mart parking lot near Third Avenue and Blauman Street and I am frightened of the other driver.
The officer will recognize me as I am 5'4" in a black dress about 114 pounds. Please send an officer immediately..."


;-)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 81
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 12:45:50 PM
I have never heard of anyone being charged for not handing over information to the driver of the other vehicle involved in an accident-especially if the police are called anyways and will be getting all of the information. People or their insurance company can request a copy of the police report, which will have all of the relevant information. If I'm in an accident, and the driver of the other car is 16 years old or someone who appears to be drunk or stoned, the last thing I'm going to want to do is hand over my documents to them. I always wondered too about the proper protocol about an accident on private property when no one is injured.
 alaricmaggot
Joined: 9/26/2015
Msg: 82
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 1:49:38 PM
^^^^ The law, to the extent it regulates behavior, is applicable anywhere in the jurisdiction, and that includes Private Property.
 alaricmaggot
Joined: 9/26/2015
Msg: 83
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 1:52:56 PM

What most people call an Accident, is not Accidental at all.. It's from Negligence on some or all the parties involved...


Its still an accident, otherwise it would have been an intentional act, and that makes it potentially a criminal act.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 84
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 3:47:17 PM
OP why do you keep arguing with everyone? You laid out your pov, now let others do the same.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 85
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History
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 3:51:48 PM

Really! After exchanging names, addresses, DOB, and driver license's #, what is left?

Yeah, no sh!t. Which is why if you feel you should have to do for a traffic accident that for a 1st date where the cops come when doing so -- whether it be someone from online, bar, or library -- you mine as well live in a tent. Again, that's how you see it -- it's way out in left field and unnecessary.

Really, very smart!!! So, you will tell her, show me your ID, and otherwise, no sex!

No, not to be a douche like that. There's a difference between meeting someone and porking someone. If you struggle to know if they're 18 and up, their last name, and where they live before having sex -- then you're running into problems, and that's the point. It's a whole other issue at hand. If you're going to go the fvck-soon route, and she's still a teen, yeah, you'll want to ensure she's 18 most likely. Most states Do Not Require them to be 18 years old (16 or 17 being age of consent). If the online dating site requires 18+ like pretty much all do, she lied -- helps your case especially in states that do explicitly allow that to be an excuse if they look/act/etc 18+ and lied & misled you. BUT that's just another story. POINT IS -- if her age is questionable and you're in for a fvck-n-go pit stop -- sure, ask her to at least show her license -- and she can cover up her full name, address, and license # if she so chooses. She should understand that. That's not the "dating scene" situation though.

And it is not rational to sit with him/her too. Otherwise, Birds of a feather flock together, do not you think?

LOL - Wow, Mr Stereotype. Maybe I should make assumptions about people of a certain political party, religion, etc -- and just assume there, huh? No. You're taking a concept and inflating it huge. Most people who have done drug deals won't be of the best 'type', but some will fit in just fine -- especially in today's day and age. Just because you went out on a meet-n-greet date with someone and they had 2 DUIs, were arrested twice for shoplifting in the past, or even did some drug dealing at one point -- no, it doesn't Necessarily mean that should have been seen outright. Now, if they become an ITEM *and* that person was Currently dealing with shenanigans -- then that's a whole other story. But again, this isn't about that at all. This is about meeting someone.

It needs more than an ID No. to theft the identity. Otherwise, why the legislator force you to exchange it in the case of a car crash with a person you are not suppose to see her/him again ever?

Both parties, and cops are supposed to come to the scene, and it's on record of each person. But yeah, when it's not like that and you exchange info which you're supposed to do -- YES, people have scammed people that way by giving out false info to the other. Ballsy, way too risky, but yeah. Again, you're comparing APPLES and ORANGES.

Your full address, your full name, your DOB, your drivers license # -- all that YES, is not something you want to give to people online willy-nilly.

Here, back your words up. Toss out pride... Back yourself up on principle: Scan your drivers license very clearly, and go to postimage.org. Upload it there, and copy the link in here so everyone can see. Post it on facebook -- everywhere! Can't hurt, right? :)
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 86
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 4:44:46 PM
Hello Everyone,

It is nice when someone acts smart. According to the law of MN, in case of a car crash, you must exchange your information with the other driver. If you did not, no problem. It will be on the Car Accident report that you are going to receive within a week. So, give it or not, the person will get it from the other report. Although, most likely, insurance companies are going to deal with the issue after.



Yeah, no sh!t. Which is why if you feel you should have to do for a traffic accident that for a 1st date where the cops come when doing so -- whether it be someone from online, bar, or library -- you mine as well live in a tent. Again, that's how you see it -- it's way out in left field and unnecessary.


In both cases, you give out your information for a stranger you may not see ever again. Actually, at least for dating, you will not go for a date, unless you talk with the other person for a few times, and feel comfortable. However, for the case of an accident, it is worse, because you have no idea what kind of person s/he is. He could be a real criminal, and you cause a problem for him/her by a car accident, and still get all of your information. You keep avoid my question, why the law did not force you to exchange your SSN as well?

Second, I did not say meet someone randomly at a bar, and give her/him your information. This step comes after knowing him/her over the phone for a while and feel comfortable enough. Did not feel comfortable, don't give go for a date. If you are afraid that far from the other person, then the problem is not with the other person, but with you. Why on earth are you dating someone you are that far afraid of?


If you struggle to know if they're 18 and up, their last name, and where they live before having sex -- then you're running into problems


Really! Very smart, when the person makes sure from the beginning that s/he is not going to make an action against the law, that will cause him/her a problem.


If the online dating site requires 18+ like pretty much all do, she lied -- helps your case especially in states that do explicitly allow that to be an excuse if they look/act/etc 18+ and lied & misled you


You know the law very well. The law that did not show mercy for a 17 year old teen, will give its mercy for 40 year old man.
http://crimefeed.com/2015/09/update-hot-not-sex-offender-conviction-17-year-old-teens-sentence-vacated/


Both parties, and cops are supposed to come to the scene, and it's on record of each person.

That does not prove anything. The if the other driver was bad, he might give your information for someone else and in turns, misuse it. But the question here is, what could you do with others Driver Licenses information? You afraid, where is no fear. Please be specific, and give ideas.


Most people who have done drug deals won't be of the best 'type', but some will fit in just fine

As I told you, Birds of a feather flock together. I'd never date a drug dealer. I leave that for someone else.


Scan your drivers license very clearly, and go to postimage.org. Upload it there, and copy the link in here so everyone can see. Post it on facebook -- everywhere! Can't hurt, right? :)


It is nice for the person to get smart, but it is nicer to make a point. Who on earth said scan or give a hard copy of your Driver' License to someone else or random people? All what I said, show him/her a prove of your honestly and professional. A person you talked with and felt comfortable with. It seemed to me there are bad intentions. I will show my driver's licenses for any woman I date. The real gentleman, who does what he says, and says what he does.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 87
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 5:20:57 PM

MillaKitten92

I have social anxiety, general anxiety, depression, excoriation and psychosis disorders annd a neurological condition.

I'd agree with 3. I tend to get the guy to meet me at my house with my parents around. A little confronting but more safe. Usually I don't do that till I know them quite a bit first though. Otherwise it would be very unwise.


I am very sorry for your issues. Everyone of us has his own issues. However, you were stronger to be able to talk about them.

If you are letting a stranger to enter to your house, do not you think it will be wiser to see his ID first? At least, if anything bad could happened in the future, you still could get him. Otherwise, what may you tell to the police? A strange I met online and know nothin
 MillaKitten92
Joined: 9/23/2015
Msg: 88
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 5:39:03 PM

I am very sorry for your issues. Everyone of us has his own issues. However, you were stronger to be able to talk about them.

If you are letting a stranger to enter to your house, do not you think it will be wiser to see his ID first? At least, if anything bad could happened in the future, you still could get him. Otherwise, what may you tell to the police? A strange I met online and know nothin


Aww thanks, well I usually know their full name actually. Not because I asked but because it just always happens. My parents would also record their number plate (lol). I have thought about that actually like, what if the guy was a psycho and I brought him in my house and exposed my family to him, pretty scary stuff... hence why I talk to them for weeks and weeks usually before meeting.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 89
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 5:42:02 PM
Guerrero...another option is simply having a minor fender-bender traffic accident with each of the women you meet.
That can ensure a prompt police response, your safety is ensured, you'll have the woman's full name, and if the relationship ultimately works, a very humorous story to share with your children and grandchildren.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 90
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/29/2015 6:08:01 PM
"If you are letting a stranger to enter to your house, do not you think it will be wiser to see his ID first?"

Yeah, right...and he will stand there while you enter the information in your log book by the front door along with all the other men. Absurd.

Having a guy over to your house to meet your parents for a first date? Bizarre. Of course, it's been a long time since I've been in high school. This isn't something most grown adults would do.

I'll settle for a public meet for coffee, no ID needed.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 91
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 7:09:41 AM
"By law in Georgia, (or any state (?)) you have to provide your insurance provider and driver's information to the other person."

For any vehicle accident, at anytime, anywhere, whether or not I was at fault, (Michigan is a "No fault" state) just as eric suggested, I have and I would call the police. All of the necessary info is recorded by the officer on the traffic accident/ police report. This info is handled thru the insurance agency.
I would no more ask to see the other persons ID/info, than I would give it.
I let the proper authorities handle the details.
Without a police report, you're screwed.

With regards to meeting someone face to face for the first time/dating, I can see the need to feel safe and be cautious. But acting paranoid, suspicious, asking for ID, etc, is over the top. Too much, too soon.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 92
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 7:31:51 AM
If you meet someone on a first meet and decide after 5 or 10 minutes (or could be less), there is no instant chemistry, attraction, etc. and there won't be any further dates, what's the point of having more info by asking for ID beforehand? Asking for ID won't tell you what their personality is like, and won't tell you if the person is a nut job or is very bitter from a recent break-up, or has other issues and baggage, or has a disability they never mentioned that's not readily visible in a picture.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 93
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 10:11:38 AM
Last I heard, they haven't updated Minnesota driver's licenses to include how many people they've stood up for dates or slept with. Eventually you're going to have to engage in a real conversation, and that doesn't mean texting each other within a three mile radius. It's Face to Face.

Learn how to put the assumption hammer away and accept the fact people are not going to give you everything you 'require' to feel confident about your choices. Your confidence HAS to come from within, not be dependent on what others do. They aren't going to stand for petty demands any more than you would. Asking for an ID is indeed a petty thing. It basically says you care more about WHAT they are than WHO they are.

Besides, I've never known a single human female driver who's ever been honest about their weight on their license. The workers at the DMV don't give a damn what weight you enter, so long as it's within the reach of reality.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 94
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 4:47:27 PM

Besides, I've never known a single human female driver who's ever been honest about their weight on their license.


Really, that’s quite a statement. How do you know what weight women put on their driver’s license, and how do you know they’ve all lied? Do you routinely check women’s licenses and weigh them to make sure it’s accurate? Are the non-human female drivers more honest?


The workers at the DMV don't give a damn what weight you enter, so long as it's within the reach of reality.


I didn’t know DMV workers had such powers of weight perception. What do they do if someone enters a weight that isn’t within the reach of reality? Do they do that for unrealistic men, too, or just unrealistic women?

OP…..how many women have gone along with your demands and given you all their personal info before a meet????
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 95
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 5:43:47 PM
Guerrero- I may the the only one, and that's ok, but I don't think you are paranoid.
Besides, I am pretty fond of saying better paranoid than dead.
I do give my first name, but not my last, not at first. I will let someone have my number, but only because I know they can't find me with that, I have taken steps to insure that.
The ID thing, that's going a little far, I don't do that.
First meets are ALWAYS in public, so is the second, I have only allowed men to come to my home twice (from OLD meetings).
By then, my family and friends know their name and what they drive and their tag number, which DOES have up to date information on anyone. (I also always tell people who I am meeting, when and where)
Cautious, yes, but I won't apologize for it, it's what I was taught from an early age and I've made it to 47. ;)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 96
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 6:56:24 PM

The workers at the DMV don't give a damn what weight you enter, so long as it's within the reach of reality.


I just checked my driver's license to see if there's anything about height and weight, since I don't remember having to give that info. The license has my height listed (in centimeters, since it's Canada), but no weight, which makes sense. There's nothing a person can do to change their height, but weight can change all of the time, and sometimes the change is drastic. So if you're in a place where the driver's license has the driver's weight listed, would a person who has a condition where there a sudden shift in weight-whether it's rapid weight gain or weight loss-have to renew their license at that time to reflect the new weight? Can a person actually get a ticket and fine if a person's listed weight on the license is not the same as their current real weight, since it's false information?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 97
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 7:54:28 PM

I just checked my driver's license to see if there's anything about height and weight, since I don't remember having to give that info. The license has my height listed (in centimeters, since it's Canada), but no weight, which makes sense.


My California DL has height, weight, hair color, eye color, DOB, date of issuance, date of expiration, picture, signature, and driving restrictions.
Way too much information to provide to some random stranger.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 98
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 10:22:41 PM

Guerrero...another option is simply having a minor fender-bender traffic accident with each of the women you meet.
That can ensure a prompt police response, your safety is ensured, you'll have the woman's full name, and if the relationship ultimately works, a very humorous story to share with your children and grandchildren.


eric_summit... Minor and very humorous story. I'd never do that, unless I want to have a nice humorous story in jail, by myself:)


VolkanoKing....Having a guy over to your house to meet your parents for a first date? Bizarre. Of course, it's been a long time since I've been in high school. This isn't something most grown adults would do.


Would you say the same thing, if you were in her place? Why are we being judgmental?


Ladyinred4755...With regards to meeting someone face to face for the first time/dating, I can see the need to feel safe and be cautious. But acting paranoid, suspicious, asking for ID, etc, is over the top. Too much, too soon.


Then there is no need to act suspicious and paranoid with the person you are dating. The problem is with you, not with the what I say? Again, what harm will it happen, if s/he sees your ID?


Maleman999...If you meet someone on a first meet and decide after 5 or 10 minutes (or could be less), there is no instant chemistry, attraction, etc. and there won't be any further dates, what's the point of having more info by asking for ID beforehand?


I agree, but after that you are supposed to start with a good intention towards your future partner. So, make sure s/he the right person and the same person you talked with over the phone.


Maleman999....Can a person actually get a ticket and fine if a person's listed weight on the license is not the same as their current real weight, since it's false information?

Certainly not. Because a person may lose/gain weight after the issuing of his/her ID. It is not a crime to lose or gain weight. Plus, your weight, for the best of my knowledge. is just an estimation, otherwise, they would weight you there.


FullMoonGuy...My California DL has height, weight, hair color, eye color, DOB, date of issuance, date of expiration, picture, signature, and driving restrictions. Way too much information to provide to some random stranger.


Many people here here are looking for the case by one eye, and gives blind to the other eye. You are afraid of a person from the beginning, then there is no need to meet him/her.

Second, many people think about the other person will know his/her information, and forgetting the safety thing that s/he also will assure the other person's honestly as well. That means, your safety. Your safety is not with your information, but the other person that you are going to be involved with.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 99
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 10:29:48 PM
^ I dunno... For some reason I don't think you're as dumb as you're trying to sound... Nothing concrete to base that on - just a hunch.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 100
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/30/2015 10:43:32 PM

I dunno... For some reason I don't think you're as dumb as you're trying to sound... Nothing concrete to base that on - just a hunch.


The dumb person who enters in a relationship to waste his/her time, while s/he has a great suspicion towards the other person.

The paranoid person who is sacred of showing his/her ID for another person, as if s/he is dating a serial killer. Although s/he does that sometimes at many places, like bars for age verification.

The stupid person who is afraid of showing useless information to someone else that wants to gain his/her trust and prove honestly. Moreover, from his/her stupidity s/he forgets about his/her safety by verifying the other person name by checking his/her criminal records online before meeting him/her. Although his/her safety depends mainly upon that.

I challenge you to tell me what harm may cause to me by someone sees my ID for 30 seconds? I challenge you again to memorize your ID # in 30 seconds. Do you know Don Quixote, and what he was fighting?

I have just verified a name of a person on this POF, and found that she had a criminal history with drugs since 2003, until now and still in and out of jail. I won't mind minor things like getting a ticket, who does not have one? Suppose now, I did not verify her name and criminal history before meeting her, what would be my situation now? ETHICALLY, If it was not wrong to do it, I would put her name public and people here could check her criminal history by themselves, as it is public information. However, I'd never do that.
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