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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)      Home login  
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 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 101
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

The stupid person who is afraid of showing useless information to someone else that wants to gain his/her trust and prove honestly. Moreover, from his/her stupidity s/he forgets about his/her safety by verifying the other person name by checking his/her criminal records online before meeting him/her. Although his/her safety depends mainly upon that.


Getting a person's last name and doing some type of internet search prior to the date / meeting often doesn't work. A smart person with a
criminal record can give you an alias. Or you could mix him/her up with another person with the same name. In particular when (s)he
has a common name.


I challenge you to tell me what harm may cause to me by someone sees my ID for 30 seconds? I challenge you again to memorize your ID # in 30 seconds. Do you know Don Quixote, and what he was fighting?


I couldn't memorize a long list of items in 30 seconds to a minute. But I could memorize a last name or an address that quickly. Or I
could go to the restroom and write it down / put it in my cell phone before I forget. If a person was blatantly dishonest about their age, I would notice when I see them. They probably used old pictures.
 474bluemoon
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 102
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/1/2015 7:26:03 PM

I have just verified a name of a person on this POF, and found that she had a criminal history with drugs since 2003, until now and still in and out of jail. I won't mind minor things like getting a ticket, who does not have one? Suppose now, I did not verify her name and criminal history before meeting her, what would be my situation now? ETHICALLY, If it was not wrong to do it, I would put her name public and people here could check her criminal history by themselves, as it is public information. However, I'd never do that.


IMO, you are one crazy fuk. There is a big difference between a quick scan of someone's ID to see that the face and name are correct and what you did....a criminal record check. Did you also do a credit history, verify employment, check the court house for her divorce documents?? You got mall this from a 30 second look at her ID? Geez, "verified"...you watch too much TV.

You should stay home and never meet anyone new let alone date. You're too paranoid and a little friggin nuts. And you are sounding crazier and crazier with each post you make.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 103
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 2:19:36 AM

474bluemoon
IMO, you are one crazy fuk


The fuk is you and your mind. If you have eyes like us to read well, you will understand what I have just done. I did step number 2 that I have suggested for people. I thought you were following what was going on, but saw you read with blind eyes.

2- Get the full name of this person and visit Criminal/Traffic/Petty Case Records and Civil, Family & Probate Case Records, to conclude the good idea about whom you are talking with.

http://pa.courts.state.mn.us/default.aspx

The state has this public website for rational, professional, smart people to look up for information. So, this website not for you. Background check needs money. The older the person is, the wiser s/he becomes. However, some people become stupid, rude, and mean.
 474bluemoon
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 104
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 3:28:10 AM
Okay Mr. Paranoid, after 5 pages of your posting on this ...how many followers do you have? How many are saying "Dude, you're on to something"?

If my guts are telling me something seems wrong, if someone is telling me their life sorry and things don't add up, or if I get an icky feeling from someone...I'm gone, I do t need a criminal background check. A criminal background check does not show if you are a wife beater, like to play mind games, cheat on all your partners, gamble, take drugs, abuse prescription drugs, had sex with your daughter, stole money from work, kick your dog, like taking it on the "down low", and more if you've never been charged criminally.

So you can be falsely secure dating your gal with the clear criminal background check even thought she cheated on her ex husband and the last 5 boyfriends she had, she gambled away her child support checks and beats her son. You can also turn away the nicest gal in the world that was charged with selling a bag of weed to help pay for college 20 years ago and has been a model citizen since.

My clear and open mind has not failed me yet. I refuse to live life being paranoid, afraid of my own shadow and automatically thinking that someone is bad before I've given them a chance.

You have trust issues. Big issues. Are you one of those people that needs to know what their partner is doing 24 hours a day - where you going? who you with? What time will you be home? phone me ever half hour? you can't wear that. you can't go there without me. you can't see that person. you're late from work, why? Trait issues leads right into a control freak.

Older is generally wiser. Not always, but generally. I do know I'm not a crazy fuk.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 105
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History
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 7:10:23 AM
Being charged doesn't necessarily mean you're guilty of said crime either. Fact of the matter is that the meeting should be relaxing and fun. Not an interrogation and already showing an intende distrust right off the bat.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 106
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 7:33:12 AM

I'd like to share with you guys some steps I think they should be done before meeting woman/man in person...
2- Get the full name of this person and visit Criminal/Traffic/Petty Case Records and Civil, Family & Probate Case Records, to conclude the good idea about whom you are talking with.


OP: You're not making any sense, for another reason other than what's been posted already.
In order to see someone's driver's license or other official documentation to verify who they are, it requires meeting that person, who will hand you their license or document to look at. So how are you verifying who they are without meeting them? And who is required to show proof first? Someone could ask you to show ID first, then say "Screw you. I'm not showing you my ID" when you ask to see theirs, or vice versa. It makes me wonder if there is a case of trollitis going around, trying to stir the pot for the heck of it.

If I was in contact with some nut job who started demanding personal information before meeting, I would be tempted to play along by demanding to get the names of all ex's and their contact info, so I could claim to want to call them and get their side of the story to see why the relationship(s) failed and what they thought of the person. And I would also demand the names of all family members to see if any of them had criminal records. and to call each one to get a character reference. And while I'm at, I might as well also get the name of the person's employer and supervisor's name and number, to ask them what they thought of the person, and must provide their latest pay stub to show me when we meet (if all of the other checks pan out). I wonder ho many would go along with that.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 107
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 10:23:24 AM

The state has this public website for rational, professional, smart people to look up for information.

Yes it does - but 'public' means PUBLIC - which means any irrational, paranoid, homeless person in a public library can find the same information - AND you can find out a ton of information without being given a full name or EVER demanding to see an I.D. - if you bother being resourceful enough.

I did a search with nothing more than a dating profile on another site once, and found out within about 5 minutes that they had been arrested for "Theft by Swindle" TWO years earlier. What does that tell me about her current situation? Absolutely nothing. You can assume she's still a con artist and be 'safe' with that decision - because not taking that risk means you can't get hurt - but it also means you have NO F*KING CLUE what is really happening in their lives at this present time. You are judging a book by it's cover while standing in a coffee shop across the street from the library. You DO NOT KNOW who or what they are - right now.

MY opinion - If you are so justified in believing the public record of a person tells enough of a story to judge them now and forever, then YOU do the legwork. Nobody in here (or anywhere) should feel compelled to help you shortcut through your own insecurities. Google is your friend. Use it. Stop using people to do the work for you.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 108
view profile
History
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 10:42:59 AM

I did a search with nothing more than a dating profile on another site once, and found out within about 5 minutes....


I wouldn't date that person, because they're not very conscious of their security or privacy..... Anyone who posts enough info on their profile, that I can track them down like that, isn't..... People shouldn't use pics that can be traced back to social media, for online dating....
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 109
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 12:04:30 PM

I have just verified a name of a person on this POF, and found that she had a criminal history with drugs since 2003, until now and still in and out of jail.
Are you sure it is her?
Nobody else with the same name?
Lots and lots of people out there with my name...many with the same age, too.
Hope none of them are criminals and tarnish my good name.

I suggest you go for an arranged marriage.
Your family can choose a nice bride for you.

One question...it was asked but you didn't answer.
Are you a controlling person?
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 110
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 1:28:46 PM

I won't mind minor things like getting a ticket, who does not have one?


Me. I’ve been driving since I was 16 and have never been ticketed. So if you have, you’re a dirty criminal and not clean enough for me. If you don’t have that full disclosure on your profile, you should, so women can judge for themselves.


I have just verified a name of a person on this POF, and found that she had a criminal history with drugs since 2003, until now and still in and out of jail.


Good for you, Columbo. Funny she didn’t mention anything about that before she gave you her real name and that you would be physically attracted to such an obvious drug addict and it had no effect on her appearance. What, no facebook?

I don’t believe any woman gave you her real name on here. And I don’t believe any woman would even respond to a message from you. How many messages did you two pass back and forth before you demanded her name and she gave it to you? FOS
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 111
view profile
History
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 1:53:40 PM

2- Get the full name of this person and visit Criminal/Traffic/Petty Case Records and Civil, Family & Probate Case Records, to conclude the good idea about whom you are talking with.


What in the name of God did your last GF do to you to make you this paranoid? Were you kept in an underground bunker?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 112
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/2/2015 2:08:35 PM

One question...it was asked but you didn't answer.
Are you a controlling person?


I'm still waiting for an answer to my question:
How does he verify a name that's on her driver's license if he won't meet in person until he verifies the name and does a background check first? Isn't that doing it backwards?
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 113
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 5:18:31 AM

Okay Mr. Paranoid, after 5 pages of your posting on this ...how many followers do you have? How many are saying "Dude, you're on to something"?


If a teacher describes for her/his students an example about stupidity, s/he will not find a better example than what you said above.

Who is really paranoid, the person who is afraid of nothing and no one, or the person who is afraid to death that someone checks his court and criminal history? Only drug dealers get afraid and angry at new stick laws against drugs.

Followers!!! Am I writing here to gain followers? What am I going to do with them? Did I write my opinion to gain fame? Am I expecting my name will be written in the history of the state of MN? I saw two ears, but nothing in between. As I said before, if just one get benefit from what I said, I would be so happy with that. If not, that is good too.

On the other hand, am I the leader, and POF’s people are the followers? You do not even know how to us e a correct word. The correct word should be approvers.

ALL OF THAT because I said verify the person you are going to meet to be protected. Yes, I think it is a good thing. However, if you do not want, then good for you.

To see the kind of education and mentality of some people here, they personalized the thread; starting to talk about me, rather than the topic. It is well-known thing, when someone is lacking for any evidence to support what s/he says, they start to attach the person. That is exactly if you asked an ignorant, do you know how many states in America? s/he replied back, are you an American? Another stupid statement from a person considered getting a car ticket as a crime!!!


call_me_tater
Are you sure it is her?

I am a man of evidence. I faced her with what I had, and she could not deny it.


Are you a controlling person?

Did I ask you a personal question? If you want to act as a mom, please find someone else younger than me to play this role.


SunshineGirl__

I don’t believe any woman gave you her real name on here. And I don’t believe any woman would even respond to a message from you.
Who cares? The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on.


carolann0308
What in the name of God did your last GF do to you to make you this paranoid?


The same Lord Almighty who made you took your shoes off, if you traveled from or to the United States and made you afraid to death to share public information about yourself with someone you date.

And do not you see you that you are extremely violating the office dress code and wearing Bikini in a professional meeting? This thread is not about religion, but sharing opinion, rather arguing.


Were you kept in an underground bunker?

Who kept underground bunker normally loves the dark, where she grew up. However, I like the light and am an open book with my future life partner. I wonder what type of your past made you afraid of showing your identity.


Maleman999
How does he verify a name that's on her driver's license if he won't meet in person until he verifies the name and does a background check first? Isn't that doing it backwards?


The person is supposed to enter a relationship in a good faith. So, after talking for a while with the other person and feel comfortable with, the person starts to ask about last name, the person goes and verifies that on the internet. Then it depends upon the person her/himself. Some people do not mind dating a criminal, some people do. Everyone is totally responsible for his/her choices. During meeting the other person, you do not demand him/her to show the ID. That will be really odd. These are one of the things that you discuss over the phone with the other person before dating, if you’d like. Again, it is up to everyone. So, just looking at the name of the ID is the main point of the checking the ID. Many of us have exs either boy/girl friend, and they know their home addresses, what did they do with them after breaking up with them?

FINALLY, this thread is for tolerant and rational people. Everyone has the right to tell his/her opinion freely, without judging others. This is thread is not for anyone to express his/her hate and discrimination towards religions or people. If anyone sees that s/he can meet someone, before verifying her/his public information that is fine. If someone sees the opposite, that is fine too. This thread is for free opinions, as if someone said; it was very important to eat orange in the morning. Someone else might say I prefer apples. Another person might prefer carrots. NEITHER OF THEM IS WRONG. Everyone is his/her own decision maker, and must take full responsibility for his/her decision. Some people think sex protection is wrong, some people think it is important. It will never hurt those whom think protection during sex is very important, if others do not use it, and vice versa. If you do not like that, there is no need to participate in the thread. THERE are many other threads in which you can participate.
 474bluemoon
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 114
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 6:35:04 AM

Hello Everyone,

There are my last words about this topic.


Message #52. OP, you didn't follow through.

I don't think that me saying "no one is agreeing with your idea of asking for ID" is an "example of stupidity". No one is agreeing with you regarding asking a date for their ID.

I do recall a very heated thread a year or two ago where the female OP did back ground checks on her dates. I also recall a very heated thread about asking your date the question "how many men have you had six with". Do a thread search OP and you might just find one or two like minded folks but in this thread not too many agree with you.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 115
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 6:39:38 AM

474bluemoon
Message #52. OP, you didn't follow through.


It is not worth a comment!


 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 116
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 7:42:02 AM

So you can be falsely secure dating your gal with the clear criminal background check even thought she cheated on her ex husband and the last 5 boyfriends she had, she gambled away her child support checks and beats her son. You can also turn away the nicest gal in the world that was charged with selling a bag of weed to help pay for college 20 years ago and has been a model citizen since.


Good point. A person could be a rapist, murderer etc that never was caught. A woman I know was a dating a man that was arrested for crimes that happened before the relationship started. Apparently there were new evidence or eyewitnesses. He had a clean record prior to this. Thus a background check wouldn't have done anything.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 117
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 7:58:53 AM

south_city
Good point. A person could be a rapist, murderer etc that never was caught. A woman I know was a dating a man that was arrested for crimes that happened before the relationship started. Apparently there were new evidence or eyewitnesses. He had a clean record prior to this. Thus a background check wouldn't have done anything.


THERE WAS NO SINGLE talking about background check. The ignorance for some people about the law makes them have a trouble to distinguish between background check and court records check. Again, it is impossible to eliminate the risk, but the person tries his/her best to reduce it as much as s/he can, if s/he wants.

Some people do not know the difference between 2 words "Caution" and "Paranoid". Example, being Caution makes the person washes his/her hands before eating. Being Paranoid makes the person washes his/ her hands multiple times and s/he will NEVER get satisfied, cause of the germs in the one's hands. Being Careless makes the person eats without washing his hand at all. Having Phobia stops the person from eating at all, cause of the germs.

 474bluemoon
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 118
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:14:32 AM
"Caution" is not giving a stranger your ID. "Paranoid" is asking a stranger for their ID.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 119
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:22:48 AM

"Caution" is not giving a stranger your ID. "Paranoid" is asking a stranger for their ID.


There is a difference between Showing and Giving. I am not here an English teacher. Caution means to verify information, we do that all the time at work. Paranoid means the person will go for a series of verification process without stopping and showing ID will not be enough. Example, the person will ask for ID, birth Certificate, Passport,...etc. and will not be satisfied.

 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 120
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:35:21 AM

THERE WAS NO SINGLE talking about background check. The ignorance for some people about the law makes them have a trouble to distinguish between background check and court records check. Again, it is impossible to eliminate the risk, but the person tries his/her best to reduce it as much as s/he can, if s/he wants.


Whether's it a court records or background check, my points in my previous poosts remain the same.
 474bluemoon
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 121
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:37:57 AM
I'm not about to comment on your comprehension skills but I'll explain again - for my own safety, I will not give a virtual stranger my last name, telephone number or address. This is being "cautious". This is for my own safety. I will determine when and if I give out this information. And no, I'm not "showing" my ID either. Cautious.

You just want someone to say "Guerrero, you are RIGHT". I don't think that is going to happen, IMO.
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 122
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:40:31 AM

Whether's it a court records or background check, my points in my previous poosts remain the same.


They are not. Understanding the difference helps a lot. And that could be a good online search. And it is quoted
"Again, it is impossible to eliminate the risk, but the person tries his/her best to reduce it as much as s/he can, IF S/HE WANTS."
 Guerrero
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 123
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:54:40 AM

You just want someone to say "Guerrero, you are RIGHT". I don't think that is going to happen, IMO.


It has been already said!

Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 9/27/2015 7:07:32 PM
Guerrero...don't let these anti-safety people get you down. You gotta' fight, for your right, to date and party.
Last week I was shopping for milk, cereal, laundry detergent, and toilet paper at the grocery store near my home.

To ensure my safety I confiscated the I.D. of all shoppers in the same aisle. One grandmother put up a real fight over it!
They were rather surprised at first, yet complied once I wrestled them to the ground and told them it was for my benefit.

Next week I will utilize the same I.D. technique while having breakfast at the corner restaurant.
No telling who might be having eggs, toast, and coffee a few tables down the row. Stay strong, brother.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 124
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 8:59:59 AM
Guerrero (or whatever your name is):
Why haven't you posted your full, legal name on your profile and any other personal information required to do a check on you? If a woman can do a check on you first before contacting you, wouldn't that be the most effective way to ensure a woman's safety? Otherwise, you are just another internet stranger who could be a danger to society.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 125
Steps Should be Followed for Your Safety (My Opinion)
Posted: 10/3/2015 9:06:35 AM

They are not. Understanding the difference helps a lot. And that could be a good online search. And it is quoted
"Again, it is impossible to eliminate the risk, but the person tries his/her best to reduce it as much as s/he can, IF S/HE WANTS."


I didn't say that they are the same thing. I said that it doesn't change my points. Does giving my last name, ID, or other personal info to a virtual stranger make me safer? Could it possibly make it less safe for me? Yes.
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