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 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 251
being picky vs lowering your standardsPage 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Some people really need to look into the term " tongue in cheek "
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 252
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5 feet tall is short
Posted: 8/30/2017 12:01:24 PM

How do all the shorter men in Mexico and South America date and get married, and all the shorter Asian men? I'm not talking 5'-9" or 8 or 7. I'm talking 5'.


By marrying women who are even shorter.

Themyscira/Paradise Island is a comic book creation.
There is no place on earth where women average 6 feet in height.

In virtually every country and ethnic group, the average woman is shorter than the average man.

The complaint is that, by virtue of artificial thinking, the majority of women-and perhaps even the majority of men- believe that the man in a romantic relationship MUST be taller than the woman. Often even taller than the women wearing heels.

None of which has any bearing on a person's actual inner qualities needed to conduct a deep and fulfilling successful long-term relationship.
Which is what so many claim they are looking for.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 253
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5 feet tall is short
Posted: 8/30/2017 1:03:48 PM

You guys are nuts when it comes to height.

In a post long ago, you voiced a Requirement of a guy having to be many inches taller than you, though...

How do all the shorter men in Mexico and South America date and get married, and all the shorter Asian men?

Because it's how you are compared to your surroundings. Just like any attribute. For a guy, as long as you're at least her height -- which isn't enough usually -- it's how tall you are compared to other guys "in the room". In Mexico, guys are much shorter. So are the women, too. So being 5'5" isn't a dating death sentence as it would be if you were instead living in Nebraska.

Some people really need to look into the term " tongue in cheek "

I do all the time. It's the style of kissing in my favorite late-night movies that are more than R-rated. ;)
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 254
5 feet tall is short
Posted: 8/31/2017 6:55:08 AM
Does than mean if a average height North American man goes to a country where the men are shorter on average, the guy from N.A. would be able to get the best looking women, because of so many women equating height to attractiveness and being a better catch than a shorter man?
 forumfishonly
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 255
5 feet tall is short
Posted: 8/31/2017 10:15:55 AM
There's plenty of tall guys in plenty of countries that are still single regardless of their height, it's probably more because their personality sucks, they are butt ugly, or they don't have a penny to their name
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 256
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 8/31/2017 1:08:27 PM
I actually decided to be more "[...]icky" and state some standards. lol different experiences for different people.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 257
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5 feet tall is short
Posted: 8/31/2017 4:01:23 PM

Does than mean if a average height North American man goes to a country where the men are shorter on average, the guy from N.A. would be able to get the best looking women

Not the best looking women, but be on a "level" playing field. When it comes to meeting potential dating prospects who you don't know in social arenas (online, the bar, etc) -- height is pretty solid "weeder" if you're one of the short guys in the room (while not standing a lot taller than she to make up for it). You're on a more level playing field because a guy who's 5'6" isn't going to be a comparative "short guy" in the room, and he's going to be much more taller in comparison to women there, too. A more level playing field. You're taking the "weeder" of height out of the equation for Many.

It's not that you're Adding anything -- you're Taking Away what WAS taken away from you. And of course, being North American walking into a country where North American guys bring a Positive draw by itself, that's where any "adding" comes in (regardless of height).
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 258
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Anything under 5'10" is invisble online
Posted: 8/31/2017 6:43:40 PM
Like anyone in here is interested in being on a level playing field.

Part of the reason for such large attendance to these online dating sites is NOT to find someone common, or even 'acceptable' - it's for finding someone superior.

The morons in here that say stuff like, "short people should date shorter people" and crap like that are showing their same 'Not In My Backyard' ignorance. So long as they feel they are above or beyond a certain category, they feel free to dictate to anyone they consider an 'inferior' status.

Fat people should date fatter - because their chances are better.
Dumb people should date dumber - because their chances are better.
Poor people should date poorer - because their chances are better.
Parents should date other parents - because their chances are better.
Pregnant people should date - ...Pregnant-er?

Seriously. Stop and smell what you are shoveling. And look in the mirror again and figure out what you have done to deserve 'better' than every other person on this planet deserves or demands an upgrade for themselves.

The biggest problem with the age of the internet is that it has become anti-social. We have absolutely NO idea what our peer groups are like anymore, or even any true sense of what is 'average' -- because we are buried in our virtual worlds, and rarely even get out locally aside from with our tiny little herds of 'Besties'. We dictate the content of our own little worlds - are kings and queens of our own domains - but these castles we've built are houses of cards.
 niagarajoy
Joined: 9/10/2015
Msg: 259
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 3:17:40 AM
After your post I just had to read your profile. And it breaks my heart to tell you that I am not a southern Alaskan brunette (good one) I do happen to be a straw haired blond Italian living in Canada. I like your statement Success always require an element of luck . Thank you for saying what you said about accepting responsibility, my English language it not very good my spelling is worse
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 260
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 6:30:45 AM
Well I guess shorter men can keep messaging women taller than them and getting rejected. Or messaging ppl who have clearly stated what they want in their profile - even if you don't meet those requirements.
Morons?
Here let me help you get that chip off your shoulder.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 261
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 7:56:49 AM
As a taller woman, i find many men are comfortable with women their height or shorter- often even very tall men prefer shorter- often associate "petite" with skinny and short and femininity- preferring sometimes a foot shorter themselves- such as 6'5 with 5'5 or 6'1 with 5'1-4'10 extremes, yes- but not an exaggeration-

My sister will claim her newest man " is a big tall guy", in pride-when i meet the man we see eye to eye.. lol so i am "a big tall guy" roflmao

i exclude profiles of men who have petite listed as a desired character trait. often shorter men, who do not read my stated height, contact me, then ask if height is a problem for me?-which it is not-yet they knowing their own ideology- need a meet- to see if they are comfortable with height difference. I am not interested in entertaining a relationship- whereupon, disjunct and incompatibility arise- via insecurities related to stature comparisons.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 262
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 2:39:24 PM

As a taller woman, i find many men are comfortable with women their height or shorter- often even very tall men prefer shorter- often associate "petite" with skinny and short and femininity- preferring sometimes a foot shorter themselves- such as 6'5 with 5'5 or 6'1 with 5'1-4'10 extremes, yes- but not an exaggeration-


Some men might have a mild preference for a shorter woman. But I think most men probably wouldn't turn down a tall woman that they consider to be physically attractive because of her height. I have seen tall attractive women be the center of attention at various social events.

As for tall men with much shorter women, I think that often has to do with the laws of probably. If a man is about 6 feet tall or more, many women will be much shorter than him.
 forumfishonly
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 263
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 2:48:34 PM
Danimal:
Going by your name calling and rants you go off on, I think your lack of height is the least of your worries for meeting a woman, you sound like a control freak and cry baby in pretty much every post, and you pick the worst pictures possible for your profile imo
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 264
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Anything under 5'10" is invisible online
Posted: 9/1/2017 3:10:38 PM
Sweet Danimal
We have absolutely NO idea what our peer groups are like anymore, or even any true sense of what is 'average'

I don't think in terms of 'peer groups' or 'average,' and I don't know anyone who does. I think in terms of attraction. No one owes you their attention, even when you have defined them as 'average' or 'in your peer group.'

As for your title, I have dated men via OLD who are shorter than 5'10".
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 265
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 3:33:50 PM
Again with this hogwash about tall men being more desirable? Should I go put on my boots? So, who's shoveling today?

Invariably, someone has to bring up the "Tall men have made, dating" bunk. I'm tall. But I'm about as popular as a skunk at a picnic. Height, in dating does not score point one for the tall guy. If anything, women start thinking that tall men are more forward.-Wrong. Or that we like basketball. (I think it sucks bigtime)The ONLY advantage to being tall, is that you can reach stuff on a high shelf.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 266
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 5:02:02 PM
I don't think he's making the point that height equals instant desirability, but when it comes to online dating, it is an undeniable advantage. There are far too many profiles out there specifically mentioning height as a factor for it not to hold any validity.

However, at the same time, I see far too many shorter men with women their own height or taller in the offline world (it exists in my own family as well, actually) for me to say short men are just completely f*cked.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 267
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/1/2017 5:05:29 PM

Should I go put on my boots?

More like hip waders.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 268
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/2/2017 9:27:25 AM

I don't think he's making the point that height equals instant desirability, but when it comes to online dating, it is an undeniable advantage. There are far too many profiles out there specifically mentioning height as a factor for it not to hold any validity.


Exactly. Being tall doesn't guarantee dates for OLD. But it can often be an important piece of the puzzle. While being short is often a dealbreaker OLD because initial decisions are often made based on the pictures and states. A short man has a relatively better chance offline because he might able to compensate for his lack of height with other traits such as personality or money.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 269
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/4/2017 11:18:56 AM

However, at the same time, I see far too many shorter men with women their own height or taller in the offline world (it exists in my own family as well, actually) for me to say short men are just completely f*cked.


Well yeah, there's girls that will date guys shorter than them. These girls that refuse to, especially the ones pushing 6 foot... Guess why they're single. If you're as tall as the average man, but demand taller, that doesn't leave many men worthy of dating you.

While short men aren't really screwed, on sites like this, they're going to have a disadvantage, because NOBODY comes to POF because their dating life is TOO successful. When the arbitrary 5'10 demand is this common it's going to be hard for them. Every profile that demands that strangely exact height is one less profile that they should ever even bother trying to message.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 270
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/5/2017 10:22:46 AM
I typically lose interest in any profile that has any physical characteristics stated for LTR- this mindset is not LTR material for me..Not dogging anyone who has the physical attractions they entertain and understand about themselves. I am glad they know themselves well enough to specify their limitations in attraction, and are confident enough to seek such in a partner..kudos we all have our specifications and preferences. much prefer that to no preferences for posted for their dating "preferences sic".
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 271
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/5/2017 4:22:41 PM

Again with this hogwash about tall men being more desirable?

It's not hogwash, statistically speaking (and thru basic observation) it's a fact. Nor does it mean being tall = desirable. Having all fingers on your hands is more desirable than missing one. Doesn't mean having all your fingers is going to land you dates left & right.

As a taller woman, i find many men are comfortable with women their height or shorter

I think for LTRs, this is true. But it's not the same as women strongly desiring if not requiring a guy to be at least her height or taller. It runs on a different wavelength. I have a friend who's generally (not super) tall, and he likes Tall women. Any time he points this out, any peers of any height cannot disagree. Take an Attractive Tall women with good curves who's taller than a guy, and if she asks if he'd like to go home with her for a nightcap, you won't get a No -- nor any embarrassment whatsoever, but quite the Opposite. I think Tall women are more intimidating -- and since guys are the ones to make first moves, they back away. For LTRs, the comfort zone is more liked where she's not a tall woman + taller than him.

I think when a gal is on the Unattractive side of the scale, it doubly-hurts her 'rating' in a guy's eye though. There's "more" of the plus or minus side, either way. I think too many Tall women mistake guys' unknown intimidation for a lack of attractiveness on their own part. And guys mistake the intimidation factor they feel from a woman who's at least somewhat attractive and Tall -- when really, there's many times a much better chance than if she were around average height.

That's not to say guys don't like the short gals. Guys like a gal who's "petite" by American standards of any height -- but shorter on top of that, yeah. But guys generally like different demographic-looks of women, tho. So those aren't the only ones he'll be salivating over.

And I agree with others, as a side note -- the height difference desire that gals generally want is Amplified online VS IRL. Doesn't mean IRL they're generally open to guys even a little shorter than she... but IRL, if he's not one of the shorter guys in the room (unless she herself is real short) -- there's more of a chance of exception as there is interaction (as opposed to a batting lineup online).
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 272
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/5/2017 4:41:57 PM
^^^
Nor does it mean being tall = desirable.

+1. Generally speaking, above-average height is an attractive trait. That of course does not mean that all males of above-average height are attractive.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 273
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/5/2017 6:08:17 PM
yeah get all the free sex they want but they can forget having a long term relationship:because while woman are not too intimidating to f**k , just not relationship material.. really wow..I decided to develop an intimidating personality too.. lol now i avoid all that wasted energy to be the amazon f^cktress sided with"lady" like demure behavior, hoping to win some insecure boob over, so that i can be blessed with a "man*sic"in my life- who i have taught to disrespect me, by disrespecting myself to avoid being intimidating...just too much trouble..women who have demure physical stature have a lot more freedom of expression.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H5I6y1Qvz0
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 274
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/5/2017 6:51:11 PM

yeah get all the free sex they want but they can forget having a long term relationship:because while woman are not too intimidating to f**k , just not relationship material.. really wow.

I wasn't saying that at all. To clarify, I was saying that they're too intimidated to Approach. Notably Tall women don't realize this (and guys don't fully realize it too much either) -- thus, tall women misread it as not-enough-interest... even though she can be "Wow". The underlying thing that gives many guys comfort in a really short gal -- is exactly that, comfort. Easier to approach. Less worry, more sense of control in a relationship, and even just Approaching. Test a guy's "balls", who's at least average height, on the dating scene. See how he does with Taller women who are Attractive. He will be much more hesitant.

With that said, and he does approach & obtain her interest, if she's Taller than he -- which is more realistic if he's on the above-average side compared to other guys -- unless she's out of his league, he's going to be less apt to want a Relationship. Or is he? See, the irony is that if he has the "balls" to Approach and make it work, he's either a player (which, doesn't matter about her height), or he's not phased by the intimidation factor or sense of control in General, as he's on the ballsy side. It's more if SHE approaches him, she'll find a higher % of guys who will be fine casually dating and whatnot -- but, not his ideal matchup for an LTR.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 275
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/5/2017 7:45:38 PM
Yes men's egos are comfortable with shorter women- i fully realize this, no longer playing the game. have all the short sycophants you can, feeding each others egos, with no intimacy or love just two big egos in little people..i want big people -regardless of physical stature- with little egos in my life...
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