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 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 276
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being picky vs lowering your standardsPage 12 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Yes men's egos are comfortable with shorter women- I fully realize this, no longer playing the game.

I've dated taller. Damn attractive too. Intimidation has nothing to do with it - so long as they actually show signs of attraction. The huge factor missing from this 'math' is the idea that tall women are actually LOOKING for shorter guys, and are somehow easier than average to find. Online, it's a sad joke claiming there is a percentage of actually searching and willing to meet, because the number of zeroes after the decimal point would float clean off the page. Even in real life, it's not much more likely.

It's not just a height search preference that comes into play for guys - it's what WOMEN want. Tall women, average women, even short women won't even glance at a short online profile unless they lie about height - so where is a guys' motivation try fishing for longer odds? Horny desperation? Who determines that? Enforcing the idea for guys to look outside the box without doing the same thing is hypocrisy at it's best.

Just like women in here claim to be all the time - guys CAN have a perfectly good life on their own. We don't HAVE to work the longer odds because women won't do it (or believe we should be trying). If stepping beyond 'hope' is supposed to be enough of a reason why a guy should attempt contact with any lady, then by God, give me a reason why women don't make a move themselves - because they LIVE on hope a lot of the time.

A lot of the conflict in here about what the opposite gender SHOULD be doing boils down to that NIMBY principle - do whatever you need to do to find a match - just not around me. "I'm still keeping my 'standards' intact." Whatever...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 277
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 12:47:35 AM

Yes men's egos are comfortable with shorter women- i fully realize this, no longer playing the game. have all the short sycophants you can, feeding each others egos, with no intimacy or love just two big egos in little people..i want big people -regardless of physical stature- with little egos in my life...


I completely disagree. I've dated many women significantly taller than me and I felt totally comfortable. Maybe you met some low lives that had personality disorders?
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 278
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 5:45:42 AM
while my comment did not specify many/some/etc men-
Yes men's egos are comfortable with shorter women-
this was not indicative of my experience, or personal understanding, i miss represented myself.. with a gross generalization. my apologies. your disagreement is very understandable. gross generalizations are extremely offensive. Not my intent. my sincere apologies.

I was referring to the short women and men as sycophants, who place superficial requirements on relationship choices, then play roles to maintain a relationship- Me "man" /me "women" . I have dated many wonderful short men who accepted me. Yes, I have had one bad intimate relationship, with a shorter man,.. And that was a doozie- i realized many of the "sycophant behaviors" i utilized doing acrobats- he was a sycophant in his speech....That relationship disrupted my stability-never want such again..Additionally,certain men of short stature and sometimes my stature, in authority roles, have treated me a bit strangely-and others have been wonderful exemplary authority figures-

What I was attempting to convey: I am not pretending to be something i am not, for anyone-at this juncture of my life. Big/ little not regarding physical qualities. Those with the insecurities/superiority complexes tall or short, will yes indeed be
low-lives

just two big egos in little people
Often they desire to make others feel inferior to them/ forever comparing and competing. Yes people men or women,who rise above the ego and realize own comfort is not in other person's assessment or validation, are indeed big people. They intrinsically, have personal confidence and self esteem, are typically comfortable with most others-and are enjoyable to spend time with- for me..
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 279
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 8:52:03 AM
I've dated women close to my height, but not anyone taller. They're not very common. But I don't believe I would turn down a woman taller than I am if I was attracted to her.

I remember the professional volleyball player, Gabrielle Reece, who made a name for herself in the 90's. She's 6'3'', and any red-blooded heterosexual male who would turn his nose at her based on height needs his f*cking head examined.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 280
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 9:04:37 AM
^^^I was thinking about former WNBA player Lisa Leslie who is 6'5" and chocolatey!
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 281
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 1:37:49 PM
Nicole Kidman
5′ 11″
Married to:
Keith Urban
5′ 10

Divorced from:
Tom Cruise
5′ 7″
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 282
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 3:38:53 PM
Sad to say but I like her taste in clothing better than her taste in men...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 283
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/8/2017 6:27:32 PM
Katie Holmes, Cruise's 2nd ex, 5'-9" to his 5'-7", and she's now with 5'-9" Jaime Foxx. A famous tall/short couple, Cher 5'-9", Sonny 5'-5".
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 284
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/9/2017 10:43:15 AM
I've never had a problem with tall women. Many, many years ago, when I was still in school and playing football, I dated a woman who was on the basketball team. She was about an inch taller than me, and with heels much taller! We had some great times together.

During this last 7 year stretch, since my divorce, the most intense relationship I've had was with a woman who was slightly shorter, but taller in heels.

And I've never once felt intimidated by a woman just because she was tall. Now a beautiful woman, I mean DDG, that will sometimes intimidate me. Until I've had a couple of drinks, and then it's "All Systems Go!". Everyone remember the Seinfeld bit about that?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS_jdcV5QsM
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 285
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/9/2017 1:45:27 PM
I thought men liked long-legged tall women.

That Seinfeld bit was funny. I just saw the episode where they were all watching Susan's family cabin burn down, and while they are all standing there in shock, George turns to Susan and says you didn't give me the change from the toll, LOL. That's what I picture the guys on pof doing.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 286
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/11/2017 2:31:58 PM

I completely disagree. I've dated many women significantly taller than me and I felt totally comfortable.

I have too. I am not men in general and you aren't all guys either. There's plenty of guys who would be fine -- and they are attracted to taller women... and just for a hookup? Sure. But they're more comfortable being in situations not getting rejected or a higher probability thereof... and also when settled in with a gal, it's not a small minority of guys who would (merely) Prefer to be bigger than said woman, from natural reasons to past experiences, 1st hand & 2nd hand. I don't think many guys sit down and think about it too much, though.

Yes men's egos are comfortable with shorter women- i fully realize this, no longer playing the game.

It's not a "game". It's not a "game" that most women feel more "at home" with guys who are either significantly taller than they or solidly on the taller side of men in the room. It may be tastes furthered by society and such, but that still doesn't imply one's playing/toying with anyone at all (game).

i want big people -regardless of physical stature- with little egos in my life...

So you want big dudes, even if not tall, with little egos? :)

I was referring to the short women and men as sycophants, who place superficial requirements on relationship choices,

Everyone puts physical requirements on relationship (or any non-platonic) choices. It's good, fine, and basic human nature. I think when it goes unnecessarily too far is when it deserves eye-rolling.

I have dated many wonderful short men who accepted me.

I don't think there's an assumption that guys shorter than said gal -- couldn't "accept" her. That's not it. It's just that if she's taller than he, or she's tall in general, it's naturally more of an uphill battle for most guys, naturally feeling. Guys have to go out and approach -- he's going to feel less intimidated by going after a shorter gal, generally speaking. Said taller clone would for many carry more prettiness, so there's a positive there. Negative is a random guy would be less likely to take a blind stab, IRL, unless he's aiming for notably tall women.

What can "easily" resolve this for tall women, is something that gals should once in a while brush up on anyway: Open, friendly body language, be inviting, make eye contact with reasonably attractive guys, flirt back when liking, etc. Being more in this way than random Jane standing next to ya, will diffuse much of any natural intimidation.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 287
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/11/2017 4:13:35 PM
LOL i am comfortable in my greed for pleasure only BIG People need apply-:) lol and i will actively seek such.
No long legs on me- sitting tall in the saddle yes, but tangled or wrapped legs lol not so much, no long, lithe, elegant limbs to my neck . short fulcrum point powerful legs, yes and shapely, yes....

And we can all accept or desire, whatever we want, Yet those shorter men who were indeed accepting me, found their true attraction and desire, with shorter women then themselves, for LTR- which was not me. i too did not find satisfaction in said relationships regardless if men were taller or shorter, if i had i might have married at some point or another.

I am 51, and done with legs open jar of vaseline approach. :) and natural intimidation, if present, will rear its ugly head in consecutive power struggles to alleviate said "natural sic" intimidation - no matter, how one maintains- an open and friendly, inviting presence or to what degree it is maintained. roll over expose your belly and still be considered threatening.. roflmao .

My son is 6 5, yes i had a minor bought of feeling intimidated, when i realized the absurdity of my natural fear, i no longer maintained, said feelings of intimidation.my son and i have a natural "respect" for each other ingrained by open honest communication, and value for other person in respective life. Sure there were things, we did not share or want to share, this too was respected- not used to hide inconsiderate, thoughtless or unacceptable behaviors to avoid consequences or responsibility.
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 288
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/12/2017 12:15:47 AM
I just don't personally find tall women attractive. The tallest I've been able to bring myself to be involved with is 5'6" and even that was pushing it for me (BTW that was the worst mistake of my life but because of who she is as a person, not her height). I'm attracted to short limbs and compacted features; an impossibility for tall women.

Nothing to do with intimidation. I just prefer that if I'm going to be involved with a woman I'm not turned off by her.

I'm fat and I'm the first to admit the overwhelming majority of women are turned off by how I look. Doesn't bother me in the slightest because I'm an adult and understand the concept of preferences. I don't like tall women, thin or average women, tattoos on women, non-white women or large breasts so I don't get involved with them. If a woman doesn't like me for whatever reason that's fine by me.

Nobody is owed anything and that's the problem here. Looking at the standards people have for what they're looking for and insulting those standards boils down to feeling entitled. Entitled to a chance at being with someone because you want to be with them regardless if you're what they want. "I'm a catch and they'd be lucky to have me. They're just being foolish with their standards." You're a catch for somebody else but not them and your desire doesn't matter.

A couple weeks ago I was called every name in the book by a girl because I avoid associating with religious people. She was attractive, had a nice personality and a good head on her shoulders but she believes in god. I politely explained my stance and she got angry that I wouldn't even give her a chance. In her mind she is worth giving a chance to despite my lack of respect for theists. She felt entitled because why not? She's an attractive woman and interested in me (So apparently also on drugs) so she deserves to get what agree wants even though she's not what I'll ever want in my life.

By contrast I had a discussion with another woman around the same time about a similar subject and she was totally cool with it. She just asked that we stay friends and that I stay open to the possibility in the future. I have no problem with that. She didn't act like she was owed anything and recognized not everyone is going to readily invite her into their life.

The end result was a third woman that's short, fat and not exactly attractive has spent the last week eating my food and taking up too much space in my bed. The other two would probably be insulted if they saw her but I didn't come to this site to make them happy at the expense of myself.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 289
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/12/2017 9:02:38 AM
^ congratulations sounds like you found someone you are compatible with- might want to upgrade your bed size though, so as it she not too much space in it-and maybe it will become our food and our bed. Kudos to you. i do not know if you are even looking for an OUR-sounds as though your standards payed off. yes picky, or not, we all want what we want. But getting a bed sharing for a week! sometin worked. i doubt the other two women are concerned with your choices, it does not sound as though a strong emotional attachment occurred.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 290
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/12/2017 11:49:32 AM

LOL i am comfortable in my greed for pleasure only BIG People need apply-:) lol and i will actively seek such.

I think that requires taste-testing, because the only thing one can do is narrow-down for better odds. :) And why is That not "scoffing" at superficiality -- yet a mere natural trend that guys tend to be more intimidated approaching taller women gets a Yuge hiss against it? :)

That is one thing I don't get about your POV -- if anything, it should be sort of flattering mixed in with, sure, a little eye-rolling frustration. But at the same time, for the latter, it should be understood and not so much frustration. The earth doesn't revolve around us individually. We live a short period, die, and won't be remembered much down the line. :) You're a cute woman for 50-something, you have little to worry about -- and like I said, it just puts you in position to be more open & friendly to counteract some intimidation, is all.

And the natural fear isn't absurd, tho. Be a guy. One thing gals do need to understand is that for almost all guys -- including cute ones -- most gals aren't interested. Of those, a certain % are going to come across with at least a mild "wtf" vibe in response. When you visualize a cute guy heeding approaching you IRL, because, (scoff), of the intimidation factored in VS other gals he may -- realize your same advice will go to Far more guys who you are NOT interested in... including ones you'd be thinking "Really? Really? You think I'm interested in you?" :)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 291
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/15/2017 8:19:22 AM
One of the strangest posts I’ve ever seen here. And I have seen some VERY strange posts over the last 7 years. Yes, I’m referring to msg 293 in this thread.



LOL i am comfortable in my greed for pleasure only BIG People need apply-:) lol and i will actively seek such.

So you’re looking for a guy with a big whanger? Purely for purposes of physical gratification? Your profile paints an entirely different picture, but whatever.



I am 51, and done with legs open jar of vaseline approach. :)

You did mention a big whanger, so I can see where the need for lubrication might come into play. But let me advise, there are some lubes out there much more appealing than Vaseline. My personal favorite is coconut oil, completely natural, and even tastes good!
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 292
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/15/2017 9:34:09 AM

So you’re looking for a guy with a big whanger? Purely for purposes of physical gratification? Your profile paints an entirely different picture, but whatever.
No Ohenyx- BIG People in my life_ Yes I do seek high -quality- great deep interactions, for growth of all participants in my life- nothing to do with sex- period. i never Mentioned a Big whanger? WTH I consistently represent self. Your failure to understand sarcasm and irony and wit is your perception and reveals your personal beliefs and stereotyping. What you claiming to understand of my intentions and personal desires, is on you not me. sorry you are confused. I had kinda started to consider you "a BIg PersOn" Is your above response just a provocation ???

Additionally, onhenryx that comment of "[qoute]vaseline and legs open is in regards to women manipulating men by representing "a strong identity of availability for sexual intimacy" it is an extremely old cliche, probably, I do not know-Just an opinion, baseless i am sure, from a catholic belief of venial and cardinal and the nun like behavior required of good catholic girls. .- regardless of being a virgin or experienced women. it is well understood perception of standard norms expected then devalued in female tactics. I believe, the object was to allow maintenance of virginity while presenting a whore like warmth and openness, until you catch a partner- to devalue the "good wife"one might find in a women who was actually open and available for sexual intercourse- like saying oh lot of very sexual virgins, that will be good wives and before you marry go ahead and plug holes of sluts.- this created the whore madonna syndrome, for many. and often the women of the sixties took umbrage against such stereotypical, prejudicial ideas.My Mother a good catholic used such, an expression, to help her daughters avoid stereotype traps for accepted feminine behavior., lol just as the "go for it' "do not accept rejection" are accepted standard male tactics not related to sexual morals for men at all regardless if utilizing said skill to attain sex or success in any area. just double standards as usual.

Yes Norwegian i am aware you are not attempting to insult me. Yet at 51 still "cute lol", i was of course even "cuter and sexier in youth", have had several LTR with the opportunity to marry, yet as I was affected by and needed validation- usually why i maintained LTR, I realize that being friendly and open is a wonderful quality to garner interest- not related to sexual intimacy-from both men and women. Dale Carnegie how to win friends and influence people.
Often i welcomed, either inadvertently, via easy route to avoid rejection, or via maintaining open and friendly qualities- long after, there was indeed, a crucial crucial necessity for me to exert and express, strong opinionated, beliefs- ideas or standards -and closing my warm friendly off, to avoid emotional and fiscal damage to person hood. With my family-friends I have found establishing and expressing boundaries many of the old problematic communication tapes and dynamics are improving for myself. and at this juncture in personal development i no longer seek validation. . it is a crap shoot- with OLD or Dating in general
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 293
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/15/2017 11:22:10 AM

I'm a catch and they'd be lucky to have me.


I resemble that remark.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 294
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/17/2017 7:57:22 PM

Yes Norwegian i am aware you are not attempting to insult me. Yet at 51 still "cute lol"

Fine -- you're delicious @51, how about that? Better? :)

, i was of course even "cuter and sexier in youth" have had several LTR with the opportunity to marry, yet as I was affected by and needed validation- usually why i maintained LTR, I realize that being friendly and open is a wonderful quality to garner interest- not related to sexual intimacy-from both men and women. Dale Carnegie how to win friends and influence people.

Yeah, needing validation underneath it all -- feeling empty/unworthy being single for a little while even -- isn't a good thing, although folks like parents, or friends who are married will encourage it ("Come to Our club!") regardless. True feeling of independence = that not having any effect on oneself.

Yeah, being open & friendly to garner interest is a needed thing for a gal who's Tall, but that alone will be fine for friends & acquaintances, but one can still exude that Intimidation factor in doing so, when it comes to a romantic read by the other person. So you'd want to exude it in a way that's Open to those you're attracted to, and to a smaller extent, to the ones around them. To project herself in a way that does not exude "I am a powerful woman", with the taller height being a factor -- although some guys may Like that though (but if her luck is down being like that, it's good to go the higher % route of not being like that; her physical presence already carries that by default). Not to she should project the Opposite, no. But she probably doesn't fully realize how exactly she is, unless she sat down and looked at herself, got feedback from others (who aren't just trying to give BS support talk) on the subject, etc.
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 295
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/20/2017 9:24:27 AM
You can call me selfish but where I am picky is my free time and what I do on my vacations. Its been very hard to find a woman who likes doing what I do for vacations. My vacations involve either going to different amusement parks to ride roller coasters or going to places like Las Vegas or Florida where there is something to do everyday. I could never go to an all inclusive resort to sit at at a beach all day. BORING. It has been very hard to find some one that wants to join me on these vacations.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 296
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/20/2017 9:45:09 AM

My vacations involve either going to different amusement parks to ride roller coasters or going to places like Las Vegas or Florida where there is something to do everyday. I could never go to an all inclusive resort to sit at at a beach all day. BORING.


I've been in Orlando my entire life, and it's funny when people come here to visit. I often hear from them "wow, you guys have everything here!!", but much like people in Vegas, those who have been here long enough are no longer enthralled by it all. I will check out Volcano Bay eventually, though, since I can get in free.

I'm also one of the rare Floridians who's not a big beach-goer. I was when I was younger and surfed, but a shark encounter at the Cocoa Beach pier put an end to that.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 297
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/20/2017 10:06:54 AM
" I could never go to an all inclusive resort to sit at at a beach all day. BORING. "


Well yeah, if all you do is sit.

But being at an all inclusive with a woman tossing a Frisbee in the water, lying in the sun drinking , going back to the hotel to work up an appetite and then pigging out at the buffet works for me !
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 298
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/20/2017 10:29:54 AM
What you described to me doesn't sound like a fun day. When I was in Vegas I was doing something every day. One day I went to the Grand Canyon, another day I saw a couple of shows and gambled a bit. The last day I was there I went zip-lining in downtown Las Vegas. I relax on my days off at home, my vacation time is to see new things and experience things.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 299
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being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/20/2017 10:34:58 AM
Are you looking for a traveling companion or a gf to travel with? There are sites for traveling companions. Yeah, its not always easy to find someone that specifically likes to do what you do. Some people don't even want to travel never mind travel in the same style. One of the best trips I've ever gone on was by myself to St. Thomas where I hit a bunch of the other Islands. I had a friend in St. Thomas that said he liked to do things with me, but I told him this is vacation for me I'm not just going to be sitting on a beach drinking.

I had an ex I remained friends with that went on a trip with his next gf and came back a crazy maniac, because she wouldn't go in the water. They were in the Bahamas. I find many couples don't jive on vacations. Finding someone that is happy to go "wherever" and will follow your lead is great. Thing is, they're plunking down money too, and may have requirements. When you meet a gal, you can ask her in the beginning what her idea of a vacation is. Don't discount compatibility for the rest of the 11 months out of the year for things to do together.

http://traveltips.usatoday.com/travel-buddy-12800.html
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 300
being picky vs lowering your standards
Posted: 9/20/2017 10:49:51 AM
To each their own, I have no interest in swimming with dolphins, being crammed in a bus with a bunch of loud yahoos and/or almost dead tourists, etc

Being on a warm sunny beach with a drink in my hand in January when I know the weather sucks back home is good enough for me !
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