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 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 26
being picky vs Lowering your standardsPage 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Only people with limited standards who aren't getting what they want will lower their standards.

The only people that ever mention lowering their standards are the ones that had some sort of dating 'failure' happen, usually ending with the words, "Never again."

Claiming 'standards' is total baloney, because anyone who wants someone bad enough will bend over backwards for them, no matter what. THAT is what pretty much defines being in love. How far you go in a relationship is about how far you would go to be with someone, not a damn list. If you find the right person, walking through fire for them is a no-brainer because you care THAT much. People that hesitate and consider 'standards' a lot aren't ready to go there, probably for anyone.

How many people had a mad crush on someone and yet stopped the relationship cold turkey and claimed they won't - because of 'standards'? I would allege most of the time THEY were dumped and are probably lying about it, or they make up a reason why something became an 'issue' when it certainly wasn't a problem the first 2-3 times they met.

Having 'standards' is pretty much about trying to keep control over your love life, and people can't seem to let go of that control. Being with and being there for someone means you are willing to GIVE UP at least some time and power to the other person for the sake of being together. How many times have these people claiming to have 'lowered' their standards ever really done that? I'll say ONCE - and it didn't work - so they stupidly assume anyone similar won't work as well and screen them out with the words, "Never again."
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 27
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/11/2015 4:47:10 PM
Sweet Danimal-^^^^^^^^YES, yes and yes.
SPOT ON!
((((((CHEERS))))))
 dinno76
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 28
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/12/2015 6:01:45 PM
You should never lower your standards in your dating life or anything else in life. If you do you will not be happy .
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/13/2015 4:45:41 PM
Hehe...for a time, heard funny noises on the other side of the wall and below me. Sounded like some remodeling-oriented work, and really just ignored it, assuming that's what it was. Didn't pay much attention.

One evening recently, I happened to be in the right part of my place at the right time, and made a connection. Paid more attention. It was rhythmic. My whole wall was moving. Slam...slam...slam. I said to myself "now wait a minute, that's a bed headboard being slammed into the wall". And yes, I put my ear to the wall and listened a bit. The woman was audible.

Anyway, it made me think - standards and criteria, or none...sure is nice to have someone to do that with 0n a regular basis. It reminded me how nice a simple thing like pounding away with someone everyday is. Mmmm....

Can't get it out of my head...bam, bam, bam, bam, wham, wham, slam slam slam slam slam...get it out of my head! Make it stop! Noooooo!
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 30
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/13/2015 5:28:55 PM
I know the guy who lives above me. For awhile I was being wakened by a woman screaming in the night. I'd wake up with my heart pounding. I'm not talking about sighing or moaning or little cries of passion, but what sounded like screams of terror. So when I ran into Buddy I said I was glad he's getting laid, and proceeded to give a detailed analysis of his performance (that I was impressed that he could go for two rounds, but that he needed to work on lasting longer). Evidently he talked to her about the screaming. But seriously, how can a person have sex with someone screaming in their ear??
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 31
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/14/2015 5:30:28 PM

at what point, how long being on here do you say to yourself "I'm not having any luck, perhaps it's time to lower my standards a bit more"?

Personally, I think I will just keep raising my standards.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 32
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/14/2015 7:53:49 PM

Claiming 'standards' is total baloney, because anyone who wants someone bad enough will bend over backwards for them, no matter what.


Not me.


If you find the right person, walking through fire for them is a no-brainer because you care THAT much.


The person I would walk through fire for IS the person who meets my standards.


How many people had a mad crush on someone and yet stopped the relationship cold turkey and claimed they won't - because of 'standards'?


Me.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 33
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/14/2015 8:29:16 PM

But seriously, how can a person have sex with someone screaming in their ear??


If it's what you're feeling. I can handle a whole night her of screaming.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 34
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/17/2015 1:30:28 PM
Modern medicine has made raising my standard much easier now.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 35
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 10/17/2015 2:03:05 PM
Welcome back, Steve. :-)
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 36
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 11/30/2015 7:25:26 AM
Well, Spruceman, I feel like my standards are already pretty low... or at the least, reasonable.

- Reasonably attractive (this is subjective of course, but I have fairly diverse tastes)
- Reasonably intelligent... heck, I'll take anything in this side of dumb
- On the track to career stability, doesn't even have to be there, but be in a position to have normal hours and time off in the coming years (I'd like to travel)
- Don't bring an insta-family with you

Yeah, yeah, I know, some will say the last one is unreasonable, but frankly, I'd rather be alone than have a raising family situation before I'm ready for it. It is what it is.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 37
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 11/30/2015 12:09:16 PM
You may be willing to settle for less than you really want but women don't want to be settled for or to settle, in the main.
Your problem is you are expecting results from a medium where there are very few successes, even for tall, good looking and employed men. After so much time here, you should realise that.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 38
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/1/2015 9:39:32 AM
>>>What kind of list is incredibly superficial? The list that includes "must be 6 feet tall", when the woman stands at 5'10"? Is that superficial?<<<

Superficial is debatable, it's more about practicality: ~14.5% of adult American males are 6'-0" or taller. Ten percent or so of them are likely gay. Only a percentage of the remainder are going to have a professional degree in something lucrative enough to put them in upper-middle class. X number are going to be incarcerated. X number are going to be your preferred race (because, c'mon, I've read Dataclysm, most of you roll one way and one way only). X number of the remainder of those are going to be in your age range (and you might not be in theirs)...
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 39
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/1/2015 11:39:21 AM

Not picky in a "he must have nice abs" or "be rich" kind of picky, but picky in that he must be compatible with me,...

Therein lies the flaw. How the heck can anyone demand compatibility if they don't even 'Know Thyself'? So many people declare what they expect of others, but never look into what they expect of themselves.

If you want to make a grocery list of requirements, better start by answering these first:
What would YOU do for a complete stranger you'd like to know?
What would YOU do for a date?
What would YOU do for a long term partner?

If you can't, or won't, do something for the person across the table from you, why the hell should they?

You can't expect integrity if your own moral code is full of asterisks and exceptions.
You can't expect honesty or transparency if you have a list of things you yourself refuse to talk about.
You can't expect them to have matching goals when your own are ever-changing.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 40
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/1/2015 12:28:51 PM

What kind of list is incredibly superficial? The list that includes "must be 6 feet tall", when the woman stands at 5'10"? Is that superficial?


Superficial is debatable, it's more about practicality: ~14.5% of adult American males are 6'-0" or taller.


Fine. Let's run with that. The percentage of U.S. woman 5'10" or taller? Less than 1%. Close, actually, to .5%. So for every woman 5'10" or taller, there are almost 30 men who are 6' or taller. Sounds to me that it's quite practical for a woman that height to require her man to be 6" or taller.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 41
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/1/2015 1:46:13 PM
Very true Tucker, I am glad your dad has taught you how to type.
I was watching a TV program where they taught dogs to read.

You can read and write. More articulate than most on here as well.

Now Tucker, you do not list your height and weight, but from you photo you are obviously small enough to pick up and noone would dare say you are fat. If they did you can say.. I am not fat, I'm fluffy.

From your vantage point I doubt 5'8", 5'10" or 6 foot would make any difference.
They are all giants.

You are the perfect example of good things come in small packages.
I am vey glad that the powers that be are allowing your picture to remain visible.

Please be nice to your dad's new girlfriend.
I am sure your approval is important.


______________________________

As to lowering standards.

No. I still insist that my next lover be human and male.
I refuse to budge on that.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 11/14/2015
Msg: 42
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/1/2015 1:53:28 PM
>>>>Fine. Let's run with that. The percentage of U.S. woman 5'10" or taller? Less than 1%. Close, actually, to .5%. So for every woman 5'10" or taller, there are almost 30 men who are 6' or taller. Sounds to me that it's quite practical for a woman that height to require her man to be 6" or taller.<<<<

Assuming all (or many) 6'+ men care to date women near their own height, or even based on height to begin with. It's a two way street, after all, and that's a big assumption.

I'm 5'-10" and I'm fine with 6'-2" or 4'-8" women just the same, but I'm generally prioritizing MUCH shorter women because women closer to my height and taller tend to make such a big deal about it. It's a time/effort loss scenario. I start with the shortest and work my way up. Taller women get a chance, just last.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 43
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Blah blah picky
Posted: 12/1/2015 7:55:05 PM
Chromis, Tucker is a doll! Thx for posting his pic. :-)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 44
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Blah blah picky
Posted: 12/2/2015 8:13:31 AM

Chromis, Tucker is a doll! Thx for posting his pic. :-)


I seriously wonder sometimes how many standards would 'lower' if men had fuzzy tails that wagged when we are happy.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 45
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Blah blah picky
Posted: 12/2/2015 8:26:08 AM
^^^^ Tucker is blushing. :) (meant for sunflower)



Please be nice to your dad's new girlfriend.
I am sure your approval is important.


It's in my DNA to jump all over anybody and wag my tail. I'd like her if she was Satan's daughter. So, yeah ... no problem.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 46
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Blah blah picky
Posted: 12/2/2015 8:58:29 AM
^^^^^^^^ Oops. Gone.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 47
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/2/2015 10:03:06 AM
"when do you acknowledge that "yes perhaps you're being too picky and are eliminating far too many potential mates out there"? "



For me, this only happens when interacting with someone in person .

For example, " gingers" ( redheads with fair, freckly skin), aren't my type.

But, if I were to talk to one and I felt a good vibe, then I'd go with it.

On the other hand, whenever I come across a ginger's profile here on POF....I pass.


**** No offense to gingers , just using this as an example that pertains to me off the top of my head
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 48
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/2/2015 5:04:29 PM
whatsamatter

I have to wonder what techniques were being employed with her screaming in that manner?? It all sounds a bit over the top to me.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 49
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being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 12/2/2015 5:08:43 PM
Kind of like ginger men, many dont fancy them either. Women can change their hair colour, use fake tan etc.
But there again we want to be loved for ourselves, freckles and all.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 50
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Blah blah picky
Posted: 12/2/2015 8:34:26 PM
Another adorbz pic of Tucker - thx Chromis. He's always happy, isn't he? Is that your son holding him, if you are comfortable saying?

ButterChickenChuck
...whenever I come across a ginger's profile here on POF....I pass.

You are correct to do so. Gingers are evil.
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