Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > being picky vs Lowering your standards      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 176
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standardsPage 8 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
^^^ Well gosh with that profile I can't believe the girls aren't beating down your door!

I still think of Lowered Expectations whenever I read about lowering one's standards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gt4StirOzc
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 177
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/10/2017 5:38:33 AM
Spot - me too :) Just posted some of my favorites, Nicole and that sweet face of hers.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 178
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/10/2017 6:23:42 AM
What about when you have no choice and are forced to lower your standards?

As in, the Trump Vs Hillary election?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 179
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/10/2017 8:35:09 AM
Me & Karma had dinner in Seattle last night.

We're smoking a doob in bed and going through our posting histories now.

Can't believe it's taken this long.

No more creating stalactites for this camper
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 180
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/10/2017 8:46:28 AM
^^^^^ And hence staying on topic with the latter half of the post subject, but wrong poster.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 181
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/10/2017 9:37:16 AM

we all do it, we all have our standards when we come on this site.

some people standards are pretty high while other's not so.

at what point, how long being on here do you say to yourself "I'm not having any luck, perhaps it's time to lower my standards a bit more"?

when do you acknowledge that "yes perhaps you're being too picky and are eliminating far too many potential mates out there"?


if you have been here for 6 months, a year, 2 years.. or even more. do you ever think "how come I can't seem to get anywhere?" or do you continue to lie to yourself and say "he/she's just around the corner!"

we all know that our success is only based on what we're willing to do to get there. Even if it's very hard to admit to yourself that you're searching a very narrow playing field and it's time to open up that field.

i'm sure most of us on this site have done it. We've set ourselves a standard minimum and have had no luck... but how long did it take you to lower those standards?


To this site? The most successful dating site going and it has been this way probably before this site has been in existence is faceb00k. The number of unused profiles and scammers and catfish here are far higher than that of faceb00k anyday. Why anyone would use this site for the purposes of dating is beyond me because it just cannot compete and it never has and probably never will.

So when you use this site there should be no surprise when the person who shows up looks nothing like their photos. Maybe the older you are the better your odds because some of these old farts don't even know what faceb00k or snapchat or twitter or even tinder is. They have no clue so yeah the same old farts are going to be here actually looking for a date and possibly not trying to scam but then they are shocked when they are scammed.

If you are married it is far safer to be here than faceb00k yet you see thread after thread of caught my boyfriend/girlfriend with a pof account. It shows him online and he swears he isn't. I deleted my account and he didn't are we exclusive. On and on and I think to myself if you don't mind that person having a faceb00k account then you shouldn't give a f^ck about POF or any other dating site.

So I'm not sure anyone should lower their standards because a 4th rate dating site sucks at what it advertises to do. The real world you know what you can get and those are the standards you come here with and those are the standards you should leave here with everyday. Not being successful here is not a surprise or shocking development because most people here are posting old or outdated photos or photos that aren't even them because here they can get away with it because their families and friends aren't here to call them out on it. Duh!

For someone to lower their standards based on a sham is absolutely the stupidest thing anyone could possibly do. Even if initial contact was made here if you don't exchange some sort of social media information before an actual meeting you are a f^cking idiot.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 182
view profile
History
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/10/2017 12:12:33 PM

Ever heard of....SETTLING ? LOWERING STANDARDS ?

Sure. I do it all the time! ;)

But what I observe as a whole carries no signs of "Settling", when it comes to guys 5'10" - 5'11" for the whole female population. What I Do observe as possible settling in many cases, is when a gal's going out with a guy who's shorter than she, with no other outwardly positive physical exceptions aside (meaning he's not out of her league otherwise; he's not a muscle guy, or famous, etc).

If women had *THE* line @ 6 foot as a standard rule for Vast majority of women as THE line -- just as it does exist for guys having to at least be As tall as she, or several inches taller if she's a short gal -- you'd see a very different outcome. One could make the case -- why aren't All women with the Hottest Dudes? Well, there's not enough of the Hottest Dudes (and many of the hottest dudes aren't 6 foot), so yeah. But it's not "settling" Merely because every gal isn't with the Top 10% of guys in looks. It's "settling" in your definition of it, when she "can do better".

I see that with real cute gals going out with guys who maybe Might pass as an average Joe + his wallet isn't thick nor did they meet long ago when she wasn't as good looking and he used to look better. That's "settling" (when you can do better). You see it with gals out with guys who are noticeably shorter than she in her heels -- and there's no other visual attributes to even that out. Girls claim that height doesn't mean so much, when, Yes it does -- I agree. But it's not the 6-foot line. That's not "the" line. "The" line is that he's not one of the noticeably short(er) guys in the room + he's notably taller than she if she's short, and that she's not taller than him in heels if she's on the taller side herself.

The "over 6 foot" thing is a Bonus -- being noticeably one of the taller guys in the room. It's not "the line", nor is it "Okay, I'll settle for 6 foot, but no less". You'd see a different dating/social world if it were.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 183
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/10/2017 6:30:00 PM
In your dreams Clooney. I always thought Karma was a beautiful woman. I hope she found her happy place. She was picked on more than some who would post a photo of their new GF on their profile, then BOOM.. back to the drawing board.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 184
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 6:37:08 AM
Norway this alone shows you aren't getting it :

"many of the hottest dudes aren't 6 foot "


A guy can't be " hot " AND under 6 foot tall. PERIOD.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 185
view profile
History
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 6:48:01 AM

A guy can't be " hot " AND under 6 foot tall. PERIOD.

Wrong. There are so many hot, sexy, successful, confident men who are well under 6 feet.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 186
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 8:38:08 AM
Spot you may find guys under 6 feet tall attractive but describing them as " hot " is akin to describing a chihuahua as "huge "
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 187
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 9:44:48 AM

In your dreams Clooney. I always thought Karma was a beautiful woman. I hope she found her happy place. She was picked on more than some who would post a photo of their new GF on their profile, then BOOM.. back to the drawing board.


That went both ways though. She was rude and condescending to some people that had a different viewpoint about certain subjects.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 188
view profile
History
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 10:18:32 AM

Spot you may find guys under 6 feet tall attractive but describing them as " hot " is akin to describing a chihuahua as "huge "


Well you are not the boss of who I find hot or what I find "huge" for that matter.
*flips hair and storms out of thread*
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 189
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 12:46:34 PM
South - yea she did sometimes.
Chihuahua hanging onto your finger like frim death looks pretty big.
I see lots of hot shorter than 6 foot men.
Guy Friday ( yummy) sweet ride too. A Prowler
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 190
view profile
History
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/11/2017 12:59:55 PM

Spot you may find guys under 6 feet tall attractive but describing them as " hot " is akin to describing a chihuahua as "huge "

LOL. Obviously you're being tongue-in-cheek. The experential difference between a guy who's 5'11" and 6'0" is his posture and/or his shoes. If a guy's notably taller than a woman, and he's not one of the shorter guys in the room -- the height thing isn't going to be a problem. You're (exaggerated via tongue-in-cheek) POV is as if all women were 5'9"+. It's never about a guy's exact height -- which people's reads on one's exact height always varies a little from the audience anyway -- but how he is in relation to her, and if he holds his own in height compared to other guys in the environment. The only thing I can think of in terms of the "6 foot" mark is that a relatively taller gal can't Complain about a guy's height if guy in question is (actually) 6 foot.

And Spot's POV is pretty common, man. :) I think for some guys -- yeah, they would get more "pull" if they Were 6'0", when they're, say, around 5'8". Not so much with notably short gals, but in general, sure. At the same time, he wouldn't need to add 4" (horizontally or vertically), to get more "pull" among gals who are at least a little shorter than he in their standard heels. He could have broader shoulders, in more shape (which affects your facial attraction which does bring in the most pull), etc.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 191
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/12/2017 4:19:52 PM
Am I to picky for wanting what I want, truly hope so... If I wanted a measuring tape and someone handed me a ruler I am not going to be a happy camper. Same with a woman I want woman that fits into what compliments me and if she dont fit I am suppose to decide for someone who dont. Tell an adventure, he should be with a homebody see how that works for them.
 PinkyAndTheBrain83
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 192
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/14/2017 2:58:10 PM
Picky: You have to wait longer and maybe single for a long time. But at least when you do finally meet the right one for you, You can honestly say you didn't settle for less than you deserve or need.

Lowering standards: You will end up with someone you are not happy with or possibly have several relationships and get burned out from all the previous bs.

I for one will not change what i want in a man cause i know what i can and cannot tolerate. I refuse settle for less just to be with someone. I rather be single for a long time and get what i truly need to be happy with a man.

No one is perfect but we all have different experience with dating and develop pet peeves as i call them that just drive you insane.
 Dedelf6809
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 193
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:05:21 PM
Sometimes I ask myself this question but then I remember that my standards are the way they are for a reason.

I can not respect the religious, heavy drinkers, or drug users so I can't date them.
I am turned off by athletic, thin or tall women (actually I'm terrified of women almost or as tall as me) so they're not an option.
I'm a dark skin man that's covered in tattoos that's repulsed by dark skin and tattoos so I'm not going to get involved with someone with dark skin and/or tattoos. Brightly colored hair and piercings are a no go also.
I avoid women with outdoor or active lifestyles because you'll never see me participating in those activities. Total waste of everyone's time even talking to them.

Everything else I'm more or less fine with.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 194
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:25:36 PM
Don't commit easily guys until she shows her love to you
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 195
view profile
History
What's in a number ?
Posted: 6/14/2017 7:04:08 PM

Am I to picky for wanting what I want, truly hope so... If I wanted a measuring tape and someone handed me a ruler I am not going to be a happy camper. Same with a woman I want woman that fits into what compliments me and if she dont fit I am suppose to decide for someone who dont. Tell an adventure, he should be with a homebody see how that works for them.


If life was a movie, no. But reality doesn't agree with that.

Honestly, I'd love to find that girl with a perfectly fit body, great skin, pretty face, smart, genuinely nice, actively making a future for herself, responsible, a real equal... But the reality is that she's married to the guy that got into a stable well paying career in his early 20s, he's barely got any fat and a good amount of muscle, he helps kids on the weekend, loves to work around the house, is a great cook... And unfortunately for you ladies, the opposite is true for you. That guy you want is with my dream girl, and those 2 have no plans of ending that, the reality is you're going to find guys like me.

There's a point where you really gotta understand that what you want just isn't happening, and you need to reassess what's really important. Do you need a girl that's with you 24/7 that likes everything that you like? Or is there actually nothing wrong with being able to climb a mountain with your friends then go home to a girl and have a nice dinner and watch a movie? Dating has become more of a fashion accessory than the companionship that it used to be.

If you have high standards that you can never seem to meet someone that can fill them and is single and interested in you, then yes, you're being too picky. Are you really looking for the girl that compliments you, or are you looking for that dream girl that fits every aspect of your life, and miraculously hasn't already met a guy way better than any of us in this thread will ever be?
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 196
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/15/2017 10:03:51 AM
Knowing you are supposed be alone isn't the end of the world
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 197
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/15/2017 11:59:54 AM

Picky: You have to wait longer and maybe single for a long time. But at least when you do finally meet the right one for you, You can honestly say you didn't settle for less than you deserve or need.

I wouldn't totally agree with that. That's just not settling for someone who clearly isn't "good enough of what I can get". Picky means you're doing at least a Little more than what Should be necessary. Picky isn't necessarily about Standards (although it can be too, of course). One could be looking for a guy who's not such-a-good-idea, but they're still "picky" about guys. Why? Because they're wanting him to Only be between 32-35 years old, working 2nd shift, AND have kids under 10 to play with theirs. :) She's not going for high standards, but her criteria is being more-than-should-be-necessary.

But commonly it will at least spill into "higher grade" material. So, average looking gal juggling 2 young kids who used to look real cute prior to having kids -- she may still be aiming for guys who she used to be able to get without scouring the earth from end to end, but She doesn't quite fit the bill anymore, but isn't "going to settle" for less than what she Could get before. She doesn't Actually "deserve" it -- but she believes she does. So instead of wanting unnecessarily-stringent criteria like 32-35 only + 2nd shift + under-10 kids --> she's going to have a tougher time because she's holding too high of standards that she Actually deserves.

Sometimes though the *situation* can be picky -- but the person themselves aren't being picky. Just realistic. Maybe for a relationship TO work out given her unusual life/living situation, the only way for things to have a decent realistic change of working out -- would be kind of stringent. "Hey, it's the situation that's stringent. Yeah, kinda sucks for the dating scene, but it's not my personal tastes -- I'm just being aware of what'll work and what won't, given the situation I'm in currently if a Relationship would actually unfold."
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 198
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/15/2017 12:24:56 PM
I see men say they are very liberal, so if you voted for Trump, they're not interested. These are God awful looking men with nothing going on. I can't believe that would be what they're holding out for, a Hillary voter. I don't choose based on who someone voted for, but don't want their choice pushed on me with any lectures.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 199
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/15/2017 5:25:24 PM
That, is getting more common. Get one that is hardcore about it, and you'll get a lecture, along with quotes taken from their favorite news source. Question anything about what they said, (Or, heaven forbid, have an opposing point of view) they will expect you to be able to back up your source. Now, your information came from someone, or something that they wouldn't dare look up. (Because they don't want to soil themselves during the process)

Why would you want to deal with a person like that? I wasn't looking for a person to argue with. There is way more to to life than politics.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 200
view profile
History
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 6/15/2017 6:27:10 PM
I agree, there is much more to life. I vote and then I move on. I'm glad these childish men identify themselves by saying they don't want to talk to someone who doesn't vote like them. Being a snowflake is not a good look for a guy, LOL.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > being picky vs Lowering your standards