Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Help me, dammit!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 26
Help me, dammit!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
^ I can't spell too terribly well, myself. And yet reading and formal writing are things I've done a lot of. I think spelling might be kind of it's own entity?


(I hate the word "nag". Not that I've been called that myself, but - and I'm no raging "feminist" - what the hell is the male equivalent term for "nagging"??)

* "Its". Haha.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 27
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/4/2015 8:24:37 PM
I think hectoring is the male nagging.

But of course, Hector was right, and all the other Trojans were wrong. So I guess male nagging is nagging that is right.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 28
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 2:41:48 AM
I have tried because I do not equate education with intelligence.

But I miss the banter.

One of the stupidest people I have ever met is a member of Mensa.
Go figure.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 29
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 9:40:37 AM
I think people get over estimated and under estimated
everyday.

Happens a lot on the forums. Usually the over estimation
is self inflicted.

I don't think being boring, being capable of witty banter,
being interesting or being smart has everything to do with
the amount of education a person has. I can carry on a
conversation with just about anyone. Except slow talkers.
I can't abide by slow talkers. I mean so slow I can write
entire performance reviews between pauses.

Yeah...no can do.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 30
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 10:15:44 AM

Has anyone tried to have a relationship with someone who they didn't find to be very bright?


Oh, you mean my first and second boyfriend? lol, yeah, reason why it ended in less than 2 years, one of them didn't even make it to a year. Now now, they were sweet, nice, respectful, one of them was a perfect fit for the cave, they both knew how to cook, had very nice families who were very dear to me, etc. I never attempted to have any kind of intelligent conversation with them because I knew there were simply not of the caliber, they didn't even watch the news, they lived in a bubble, didn't read books, were never really curious about anything or anyone, they were very simple-minded. This is what I call "safe" people or stepping stones, they pose no threat, they cannot out-think you, you are always going to dominate in such relationships, and you're the one who has to terminate it as they don't see anything wrong with anything.

Now when I met a Network Engineer (my ex), it lasted 8.5 years because we had a lot more things in common, we were educationally compatible, could talk about anything and even if our opinions differed, he respected whatever I contributed to the discussion. He has stories for days, but then again he is much older than me, lol.


Well, if you find them attractive, you can just keep having sex all the time and call them baby a lot. Depends how unintelligent you find them I suppose.

I'm not sure why I am replying since I am not even dating- I 've kind of given up. But in the past I've found just having a lot of sex helps.


I second the motion!!! A lot of sex evens out certain things.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 31
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 2:39:00 PM
^ I understand what you guys are saying about lots of sex, but even men can feel "used". Some don't care, but some... You know... Get "attached".
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 32
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 5:03:35 PM
Good gravy, we belittle higher education and then we complain about all the stupid people we end up with....back when I wrote a book on college, 50% of American corporations thought they had to reteach college graduates they hired. So, yes, there are some poorly-trained students out there. BUT, the corporations also pay college grads $10,000 more per year, and get away with it b/c everyone agrees that makes sense. Its nice to meet someone who worked and paid to get smarter--apparently, they thought trying to get better was a good idea. a friend used to say, "pigs are perfectly happy in sh1t. Should we aspire to be pigs in sh1t?"

on the flip side, no matter where someone got educated...you can't convince an a$$hole that they are an a$$hole. They're too busy ignoring reality and rationality and morals and consideration, to listen to you talk about any of those in order to prove your argument.

Like I posted before, we educate ourselves about what's important to us. Hopefully, we find more than just our needs and wants to be important. otherwise, we only focus on us and our's and then we think we're so smart, knowing so much about something so small in focus

as for spelling, I guess its like clothes for written ideas :) A lecturer in a tie and suit might not give a good lecture, a bum might tell the truth on a soapbox. but if you want people to really hear what you have to say...do you dress up, or do you just blurt out your feelings? is one more right than the other, or is it just a style issue?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 33
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 6:09:20 PM
or, you have to figure out why you think you are that much smarter than the Men you hearing from :) And I mean that gently. Who exactly is smart enough for you? What do you consider smart?
oh, and people have to write a test to get into Mensa.. right there tells you they aren't smart :0
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 34
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 6:30:04 PM

I would like to hear more about the guy you didn't find very bright, but didn't find dull? How did you manage to converse without wanting to stick a fork in your eye? What did you talk about?


Mostly we talked about each other's days. "How was work?" "Did anything interesting happen?" "You seem upset at that - tell me more." We talked about where we hoped to go for vacations or imaginary living places and why (his was Germany because the autobahn doesn't have a speed limit). We talked about motor vehicles including big rigs and small, fast motorcycles because he found those fascinating and they were things I didn't know anything about. We discussed beliefs about god, church, atheism, and agnosticism as well as evolution vs. intelligent design in nontechnical terms. He enjoyed television and I did not, but he would watch National Geographic specials and the History Channel to discuss them with me; mostly asking questions - to see if I knew what Nat. Geo. was talking about. He had a childish sense of humor but he was a natural story-teller and could make the oldest joke in the world sound pretty funny. He genuinely liked interacting with people of all sorts so perhaps that was the reason he tried to be (and was) engaging. For my part, I am often a good listener as well as someone who wants to learn more. Though he never succeeded at teaching me the differences between Kenworth, Freightliners, and Peterbilts at 70mph.

As for 'boring', I've met plenty of intellectuals or people with 'Pile Higher & Deeper' degrees that were sleep-inducing within four sentences. Sometimes, even intelligent people or our best friends can be boring.
 dreamriding
Joined: 9/17/2015
Msg: 35
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/5/2015 11:23:24 PM

(I hate the word "nag". Not that I've been called that myself, but - and I'm no raging "feminist" - what the hell is the male equivalent term for "nagging"??)


I feel it's a brow beating characteristic. Never being satisfied......or could be just giving up on a lost quality the person purposely shoves down your throat that drives you to insanity. Oh, is that control or just a low tolerance situation? eh....don't think I'd want sex with that.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 36
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/6/2015 6:14:00 PM
Ouija: You make an excellent point. I myself am incredibly daft in many ways. Ways in which those men (and most people) are most likely far brighter. I'm sure they would be appalled if they had to watch me try to change a tire. Or do anything practical, really. It's just that it's frustrating when it seems like you can't relate to people because there's no overlap in areas of intelligence. (Plus it makes me uncomfortable to receive messages from people I can't relate to.) Also, humour is a really big one, as someone else mentioned. I could have worded my initial post more diplomatically - I can see how I may have sounded like a jackass.

2ufo: Thanks. But the guy you're talking about seemed to have a curiosity in learning about interesting stuff. And you liked his humour. In what way did you not find him bright?

Broweyes: Slow talkers only bother me when I'm in a hurry. Close talkers are kinda weird, though.
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/9/2015 6:37:53 PM

I unhid my profile and all I get are messages from men who are... well... really really daft. Now, I'm pretty sure I understand why this is (it's a regional thing - there's a pulp mill in this town and I think the pollution has seeped into the brains of people who have lived here too long) but I need some advice on what to do about it. Has anyone tried to have a relationship with someone who they didn't find to be very bright? Does it ever work? How does one reconcile oneself to it, short of pouring acid into one's own brain? If you've ever made it work, I want to hear from you. Matterbaby getting crabby :(

Ok, that ^ right there is funny already, all by itself.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 38
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/9/2015 8:55:36 PM

I second the motion!!! A lot of sex evens out certain things.


^^^ But it has to be good sex and no talking.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 39
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/9/2015 9:12:06 PM
^ Unintelligible sounds are permissible.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 6:45:09 AM
Most people are below average...it makes it tough.

Your new and improved photo shoot in your profile should help you. ( There is no escaping profile review.)
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 41
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 9:41:06 AM
Very pretty new pictures, Whatsamatter!

Writing a profile is no biggie, just browse women's profiles, take one you like and modify it. I've saved a few I want to do that with.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 42
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 9:55:05 AM


Except slow talkers.
I can't abide by slow talkers. I mean so slow I can write
entire performance reviews between pauses.


Arrgghhh!

Talk about testing my patience!

How about the folks that don't know how to say I don't know?

I see it all the time at work. Instead of saying they don't know, they spew a bunch of possibilities or maybes.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 43
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 9:56:23 AM
You don't tell a client or coworker you don't know. "I will clarify and get right back to you! Thank you for your patience!"
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 44
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 12:51:40 PM

The guy listening to her might think, "oh, man, can't she just get to the point?


But then there is the other type, that try to get to the point for you before you do. I had a co-worker like that. I'm not a story teller, so I don't tell long winded stories if I'm talking about any recent experiences. But with this one, if I start talking about something I did or experienced, he will jump in after a few seconds, and say: "Let me guess, 'such-and-such' happened. Am I right?" Once in a while, he will guess right, which puts damper on the conversation, because what would be the point of saying anything more about it if he already guessed how it ended? I wonder if he's expecting a prize for guessing right. It would be like someone telling you how the story in a movie ended when you tell them you plan on seeing the movie later. If someone tells me about a personal experience, I always let them say the whole story uninterrupted, even if I already know about the story. Sometimes, someone will tell me about something that they already told me before (and I have done it to), but I will act like I never heard it before-unless it's the fourth or fifth time hearing the same thing.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 2:17:17 PM
I don't think the footprint pix is your best look. Do you have a handprint pix?
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 2:33:15 PM
You have some not so great pictures and a non-existing profile text.

I'm wondering why you think you'd attract a high-quality guy with a low-quality profile.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 47
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 3:03:18 PM
^ I'm waiting for a surge of inspiration. (Not that I personally believe in greater or lesser quality people.)


I don't think the footprint pix is your best look. Do you have a handprint pix?

Pervert :/
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 3:58:35 PM

Pervert :/


Handprints are number two on my list. Do you play the cello?
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 49
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 5:35:08 PM
^ What?? I most certainly do not!
Help me, dammit!
Posted: 10/10/2015 5:36:25 PM
I used to have a pic of my shadow of me taking the pic, in which you could also see the shadow of me flipping-off the viewer with my other hand. Now where did I put it...
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Help me, dammit!