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 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 101
Thoughts on attractive menPage 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Just wondering how many of us might be passing up that perfect match because of first impressions.


If I am not attracted to you there is no way around that. It isn't going to happen. I would not go out with a man I have no attraction to. What is the point? To what end? I have friends (male and female) who do this. I don't understand it. They are not "into" the person but they continue to see them. It is just marking time. They all complain about the other person and how they don't really like them. I would not lead a man on that way and I sincerely hope a man would not do it to me.
 BeautyBabie
Joined: 11/25/2014
Msg: 102
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 9:15:12 AM

If I am not attracted to you there is no way around that. It isn't going to happen. I would not go out with a man I have no attraction to. What is the point? To what end? I have friends (male and female) who do this. I don't understand it. They are not "into" the person but they continue to see them. It is just marking time. They all complain about the other person and how they don't really like them. I would not lead a man on that way and I sincerely hope a man would not do it to me.


I agree with this 100%. I've tried dating someone I wasn't attracted to and it didn't work no matter how nice he was. It was basically like forcing myself to do it and it wasn't fair to either one of us. It can work for some people (I also don't know how they do it) but not for me.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 103
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Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 4:17:05 PM
Ya'll are forgetting about the many times when, on the one hand, someone isn't attracted at all upon that first impression or first look, but then later when they've spent time around each other for other reasons, all of a sudden there is all kinds of chemistry and attraction...and on the other hand, someone feels all kinds of chemistry and attraction upon that first impression or first look, but then later when they've spent time around each other for other reasons, that attraction and chemistry goes out the window. And I'm not just talking about "getting to know who someone is on the inside", but I mean just in the area of physical appearance and the related attraction and chemistry.

Many people probably can say that they never experience at least the former of the above, but then many of those times it's because, naturally, they don't "get" this, and therefore never allow for the possibility or aren't open to it. So of course they won't experience it.

So anyway...what's important is not that this happens. But what's important is why. Often, for example, it's because of a person's quasi-shallow method of making certain assumptions, having certain expectations, or requiring certain cues or flags...when they're lucky (because their normal approach and practice wouldn't give this a chance to even happen) they learn that they were wrong about their "first impression".
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 104
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 4:30:04 PM
I know alot of good looking men. They are mostly good guys, and mostly taken.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 105
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 4:30:47 PM

Ya'll are forgetting about the many times when, on the one hand, someone isn't attracted at all upon that first impression or first look, but then later when they've spent time around each other for other reasons, all of a sudden there is all kinds of chemistry and attraction


I am not forgetting about anything. Your scenario is not true for me. It is either there from the beginning or it isn't. Grow to love a person in a non romantic way? Sure. Grow to lust a person and all of a sudden have chemistry and attraction? Nope.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 106
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 4:37:40 PM

Grow to lust a person and all of a sudden have chemistry and attraction? Nope.


+1

If it's not there it's not there. The difficult part is accepting it's not being recipocated? Life's mysteries never end. :/
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 107
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 4:48:24 PM

I know alot of good looking men. They are mostly good guys, and mostly taken.

+1
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 108
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/22/2015 8:14:25 PM
I met an attractive man alright. Married with 5 kids. He's hot and very interested. No, it's not happening. Maaaan... I'm going to bed. :(
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 109
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 6:58:14 AM
I think there is a difference between physical attraction and chemistry. Physical attraction can be determined very quickly. That won't change over time. Unless a person had major physical changes such as weight loss. Unless there are obvious dealbreakers, it can take some time to determine if there is any chemistry. Many times there isn't "instant chemistry" on a first date / meeting because 2 people are virtual strangers. Or at least 1 person is a little bit nervous or shy at first.
 hearton64
Joined: 10/20/2015
Msg: 110
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 11:01:57 AM

I met an attractive man alright. Married with 5 kids.
He's hot and very interested.
No, it's not happening.
Maaaan... I'm going to bed. :(


That's a grade-A douche right there!
Nothing sexy about this guy!
Full of himself enough to cheat on his entire family?

Give me an average looking,bald, short, broke,character bound man
Over that shithead any day

Oh wait!

I have one of those!

I think a man can become attractive over time
by the way he acts towards me. I'm not "all that"
that I'm above giving someone a chance to grow on me.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 113
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 2:10:58 PM
Hearton,

Welcome back sweetie.

Always loved you commentary so it's great to have you back.
 hearton64
Joined: 10/20/2015
Msg: 115
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 3:19:20 PM
Thanks a lot!

Refreshed and ready to rumble.
 Looking_4_her_still
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 116
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:13:53 PM
Nice topic, guys always wondering about this one. Basically its a routine connection to survival and ease of life.

What is "Attractive" changes as we age. Younger than 25 normally bad boys are attractive. They can father bad boy babies who are considered more likely to survive.

As far as dating game after 25, women are attracted to men with high earning power. Sometimes its college degree, or wealthy family, or even a long index finger. They make favorable divorce material if it goes to marriage and doesnt work. That way legally enforced benefits continue indefinitely

Women at retirement age seek males who can provide material items as a continuation of what was available from ex husband.
Duhh, Practical stuff, nothing new.
 BeautyBabie
Joined: 11/25/2014
Msg: 117
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 5:08:51 PM

What is "Attractive" changes as we age. Younger than 25 normally bad boys are attractive. They can father bad boy babies who are considered more likely to survive.

As far as dating game after 25, women are attracted to men with high earning power. Sometimes its college degree, or wealthy family, or even a long index finger. They make favorable divorce material if it goes to marriage and doesnt work. That way legally enforced benefits continue indefinitely


This is true. I've never been attracted to bad boys, at least my definition of bad boys. In the same manner I've never really been concerned with a man's wealth much. I think I'm alone on this though because most women care a lot about their S/O's income. As long as he makes reasonable income to support and split the bills in one way or another, it doesn't matter to me if I actually love the guy.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 118
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 5:10:09 PM

What is "Attractive" changes as we age. Younger than 25 normally bad boys are attractive. They can father bad boy babies who are considered more likely to survive.


OMG….bad boy babies?? That is hilarious!

Thanks for letting all us women know what we find attractive, when and why. It’s very enlightening.

:laugh
 BeautyBabie
Joined: 11/25/2014
Msg: 119
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 5:35:25 PM
It's funny how WinTimes3 never replied back because he knew he was spewing absolute nonsense about my taste in men lmao.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 120
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 5:42:58 PM

As long as he makes reasonable income to support and split the bills in one way or another, it doesn't matter to me if I actually love the guy.


Did that come out right? :/

ETA....never mind...the word "actually" gave it a different context to me. :)
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 121
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/23/2015 5:46:50 PM
What's reasonable? 90% of your combined incomes?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 122
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/24/2015 12:33:56 AM
I like the "bad boy babies" line too. :-) that must be me and my brother, our dads were 25 and 23 when we were born!
 hearton64
Joined: 10/20/2015
Msg: 123
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/24/2015 3:18:36 AM

In the same manner I've never really been concerned with a man's wealth much.
I think I'm alone on this though because most women care a lot about their S/O's income.
As long as he makes reasonable income to support and split the bills in one way or another,
it doesn't matter to me if I actually love the guy.


"Most women" do care if we actually love a guy despite his income.

Sounds to me like you care more about a man's income
than his looks or if you love him based on what you said
which puts you in the same category of women that men try
to avoid.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 124
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/24/2015 6:29:13 AM
^^ hey welcome back Girl :)
hmm, I thought we were supposed to love people for themselves? This explains why I don't live in a castle in Spain.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 125
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 10/24/2015 6:43:18 AM

As long as he makes reasonable income to support and split the bills in one way or another,
it doesn't matter to me if I actually love the guy.


I initially thought the same as you.

I think it's the wording that throws the context off.

Should have been...it doesn't matter to me though, if I actually love the guy. :) imho
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