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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling      Home login  
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 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 101
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: maulingPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
SunshineGirl- Well, that's odd, because what I read was that she posted out of frustration and just wanted to hear our thoughts.
And she did NOT address BBE when she said that.
Perhaps there are people who ask for advice, that actually WANT the advice and might actually start to think differently ON THEIR OWN. ?!
I have started several threads, participated in many more.
Sometimes I stand my ground, sometimes I change my mind and sometimes I've even had to suck it up and apologize.
The OP is a professor, a grown, intelligent woman in her 60's.
If SHE says she feels/thinks something, I'm pretty sure, she does.
Like, I'm going to come back and say "You don't think that!"
Ridiculous.
When an OP comes back and says what they think/feel, we CAN argue if WE feel differently, as in, OUR thoughts/opinions, but I have yet to have someone TRY to tell me that THEY know better what I think/feel than I DO!
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 102
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 3:56:58 PM
I try & discuss all topics in the Forums I'm involved in, in a Impersonal/General/Abstract/Clinical Way.... If I find a topic is causing much Personal Angst, then I step away from the thread & look inside myself, to see why I'm responding in that manner. I know there are some topics I can not discuss, because of that Personal Angst.

Some people on the POF Forums can't talk about any subject, except in a personal way. You see it in every post they make, no matter what the Topic is.

In this thread, to some posters, I'm the Blood & Chum in the Water & those posters can't help themselves, but go into a Feeding Frenzy. Many have personally attacked Me for my posts & I've tried to respond in a General Way, but I'm Human too, and may have thrown a Jab back at a few Punches.


Now the OP appears to be accepting the responsibility for her experiences after being chastised repeatedly. Happy now, BBE?


That is Your Reading of her later Posts, they read differently to Me. After reading Your posts over time, I expect, nothing less from You. Does that make You happy?
I take the OP at her Word when She posted this......

Mauling was too strong -- as no violence was involved what so ever..

Maybe it's Your own Personal Angst, that does not allow You to accept Her words as She wrote them....

If Y'all want me to stop Posting about this Subject, then Stop Calling me Out, Personally.....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 103
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 4:04:08 PM
"I have yet to have someone TRY to tell me that THEY know better what I think/feel than I DO!"

I have been watching this thread with interest.

"The OP is a professor, a grown, intelligent woman in her 60's.
If SHE says she feels/thinks something, I'm pretty sure, she does."

From reading this and other posts by OP I would say she buckles under peer pressure.

Sorry OP, but you are just too nice, and too wanting of male approval.

" I enjoy caring about and supporting the goals, wishes and success of my partner."

Translates to me that males must approve of OP.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 104
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 4:06:50 PM
Actually,
Feminism tells people that women are responsible for 100% of their own actions and the consequences, just as men are.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 105
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 4:29:43 PM
moraima- Wait, what?!
WHY, exactly, does her saying she "enjoys caring about and supporting the goals and success of my partner", translate into her needing male approval?
By that logic, in order to NOT need male approval, she should NOT care, not support the goals and success of her partner??
She started this thread because she was frustrated that senior men were touching her when she didn't want them to and now everything has gotten turned around to where she is seeking male approval??
That makes NO sense, at all.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 106
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 5:15:00 PM
"WHY, exactly, does her saying she "enjoys caring about and supporting the goals and success of my partner", translate into her needing male approval?"

By itself, it doesn't say she gives into peer pressure from BBE. Like I said, other postings and threads by OP, plus this turn about by OP in this thread tells me that. It is my opinion.

Personally, I don't make public statements then change my mind if challenged.

I am not saying she can't do what she is comfortable with. If she wants to change her opinion of what happened for whatever reason, she is the one who has to deal with her reasons for doing it.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 107
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 7:48:16 PM

Personally, I don't make public statements then change my mind if challenged.


Gee, it's Good to know that Your Mind is Perpetually Frozen in Place.

Now if only the rest of us had such Cosmic Certainty. I change my mind all the time based on new information. I even clarify or modify my views as it makes sense.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 108
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/10/2015 7:52:29 PM
moraima- I've seen professora on other forums.
She gives concise, good responses.
I value her opinion and I admire her.
She just DOESN'T strike me as the type of person that "gives in to peer pressure."
I know, for sure, I'm NOT wishy/washy, but I HAVE changed my mind and admitted to doing just that.
If someone says something that resonates with me, it makes me rethink my stance.
At other times, sometimes what people say makes NO sense and I'll say so.
This is a public forum, so when you start a thread, you have to be prepared for people to agree with you and other's to disagree.
Likewise when we post reply's.
Right now, we'll have to agree to disagree, maybe professora will come back and clear things up.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 109
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/11/2015 7:27:57 AM
I would think long and hard about a thread before I started it. Sure, some are drama king/queens and vent nonsense then realize it. I don't see OP as been a drama queen either ith this thread or posts.

Certainly, if I get new info I might change my mind. However, some stranger telling me I don't know what I am talking about, I would see as nothing but peer pressure.

Agree to disagree it is.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 110
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/11/2015 2:20:48 PM
You put that much stake in online discussions with strangers t the point where your pride would override facts and reality? That is interesting.
 Hands0nGuy
Joined: 11/21/2014
Msg: 111
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/13/2015 6:49:21 AM

But frottage?


I never heard the word "frottage" before. It's in the Scrabble dictionary too.
Thanks Kj!
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 112
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/13/2015 1:46:08 PM
"Thanks Kj!"


Your welcome....I think? Lol

It may be a fun word to know for scrabble but not so much fun when it actually happens to you! Yikes!

Beware of crowded places. That's all I got to say about that! :)
 Hands0nGuy
Joined: 11/21/2014
Msg: 113
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/13/2015 7:23:45 PM
I always appreciate learning something new, Kj.

I grew up on NYC and took the subway to school.
Had to deal with gropers all the time.
Hate crowded trains.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 114
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/14/2015 1:51:08 AM
Had to google 'Frottage'

Really?

Rubbing yourself, fully clothed against an unsuspecting person for sexual pleasure.

Eeeeerrrrkkkk
 bAc0nflav0redbac0n
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 115
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/14/2015 2:57:26 PM

(maul,verb,
: to attack and injure (someone) in a way that cuts or tears skin : to attack (someone) and cause a bloody injury)

This is what I think of when I see the word Maul... & I'm not the only one..


I know what the term maul means. I also understand how somebody may feel that excessive groping, inappropriate touching, hands all of the place and in places where they're not permitted could be labeled as "mauling," under those conditions.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 116
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/14/2015 8:11:35 PM
from Dictionary.com

Maul (verb)
3. to handle or use roughly:
The book was badly mauled by its borrowers.

4. to injure by a rough beating, shoving, or the like; bruise:
to be mauled by an angry crowd.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 117
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/15/2015 6:51:26 PM
PassionateSunnyGal-- what you wrote is so true.

4:30 pm-- public place: sounds safe -- but this really happens.

Men probably don't have women lunging (thrusting, grabbing) their package at 4:30 p m in the afternoon in a public place.

You understand what I meant in my post.
loveisatemple & others: I read your posts and you all made references to what we don't invite. Others have been there too.

Like2dance- regarding body language? Mine body language says "don't touch"-- seems pretty clear to me. NO! - it the challenge and "the maybe she will just do this for ME b/c I am so special".
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 118
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/15/2015 7:18:09 PM
Professora I dont think it is cause they think they are special, I think they have one purpose for women and that is the only thing on their mind...so after they get any women to actually met them they want to push for all they can and hope they get enough for their jollies later on! Some I think feel entitled, this one guy lived on the same side of town as me and selected a restaurant 30 to 40 min away-so he wanted to pick me up, I really didn't want to ride with him but couldn't figure out how to get out of it. He had been a complete gentleman in all the conversations. So we go and he orders one dinner for us to split, tells me how his wife left him and his two adult sons (neither work and just play online games all day in their rooms) and he provides for both of them (big turnoff for me). So after dinner he drives to a park (it is still early and there water to watch the sunset-so we are sitting on a park bench just talking and my allergies kick in big time--like boom! So my nose is running, my eyes are crying and all at once I cant stop coughing--in the middle of all of this he leans in to kiss me!!!!!!! I was like omg Im so sorry I think I need to go...and he says "All I wanted was some kisses, I don't miss sex but I miss kissing someone!" Again I apologize for my allergies and said that I was having trouble breathing and we needed to leave so I could get some allergy medicine. He wanted to stop at the store and get it and then come back so we could "kiss" and I explained that I didn't feel up to it and he really got upset and started pouting....all cause he didn't get his "sugar"
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 119
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/15/2015 7:21:54 PM

Like2dance- regarding body language? Mine body language says "don't touch"-- seems pretty clear to me. NO!

If on a 1st meet, either of us is presenting the Body Language that says Don't Touch....
IMHO, I would take that as the person is Cold & Uninterested in Me,or I them......

Nobody should be Improperly Touched, Fondled, Groped, or Mauled on a meet or Date, unless they want that....

But anyone who presents themselves as Cold & Aloof, is not someone I wish to continue seeing, either.....
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 120
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/15/2015 8:51:30 PM

Men probably don't have women lunging (thrusting, grabbing) their package at 4:30 p m in the afternoon in a public place.



Oh but they do
 bAc0nflav0redbac0n
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 121
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/16/2015 4:30:51 AM
There are some "injuries" that don't present bruises. Perspective, please.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 122
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/18/2015 3:48:26 AM
One of the biggest problems in dating is men moving too fast. Can you say, octopus man?!

Is there any doubt in your mind that the women of today prefer a gentleman?
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 123
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/18/2015 6:38:45 AM
Maybe seniors are worried about getting laid again before they die....the clock is ticking.....I'm only 51 and it's a frickin desert.....LOL
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 124
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/18/2015 7:53:07 AM
I worry about that too. Seems either they aren't interested in seeing me again, or they grab and grope. A little finesse would be appreciated.
 Akitahun
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 125
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/25/2015 12:20:59 AM
I was "mauled" on a first date. No sense in reporting it because it would have been a he said/ said situation. He knew not to call again. :)
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