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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling      Home login  
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 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 148
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: maulingPage 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*whoa...oh wait. Was someone saying something?*

Sorry.

 prairiefire60
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 149
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/27/2015 9:55:51 PM
That's okay, I find you just as boring. A little pathetic too.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 150
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/27/2015 10:13:56 PM
Piano Petal-the one thing that women will do is sleep with the guy too soon "to get him to like me"...I dont see alot of this here, but there will be questions from women lamenting that they moved really fast with a guy in order to "keep" them and then are crushed when the guy backs off and/or vanishes. I think in some cases this decision was made with some pressure (not always) but I think emotions can get tangled up with some people...not wanting to lose someone, wanting to make them happy, and those who totally take advantage of this..absolutely. Not to mention the truly pathological cases of narcissism...both men and women alike.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 151
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/27/2015 10:38:15 PM
Oooh yes, baggagereclaim.com.

That *is* a good site.

This is also a very good article.

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

The thing is, you can read something like this, or, really..anything, and think you are above it all or unaffected by what you might perceive as easily avoidable or that it doesn't have anything to do with you..but if you are living in a culture that is absolutely immersed in it (whatever IT is) it is going to affect you one way or another. I could say I am simply going to avoid men who are players, let's say. But what are many of men using these sort of apps used to? What to they *expect* (expectations are the key here)-getting sex on the first date..hooking up, etc..so, it's really one more avenue you can't use because it's tainted. What "doesn't affect you" really does, because *everyone else is doing it* or at least, emulating or championing the dynamic.

It's also like railing on that you aren't going to live your life by your cel phone, you keep it off, never take it out, don't want to be rude, but all your social encounters with people involve them screwing around with their phones, not looking at you, being distracted with texts and phone calls..so while you claim to "not participate"..you actually *are* because everyone else chooses to carry on with something you reject. Just because you yourself are lacking participation in a behavior doesn't mean everyone else is following suit. Same with how people date.

Sort of like "I'm going to respect my personal boundaries and standards and that means everyone else is going to as well."


My mom, back in the early 70's, went thru a similar hook up culture, where she found so many of the single men she would date expecting her to put out immediately and treat sex as a recreational sport whenever the man wanted it because of the availability of the pill. You can have your own set of standards but you have to be aware that many others out there don't respect that and will act according to the dynamic of the prevailing culture.


And it takes alot of work to find those matching values in someone who doesn't subscribe to the "fast food" mentality of dating that has become popular. You have to be willing to put in the time and effort, and know which avenues are the "dry wells." It's like driving thru some areas here in LA where every single place to eat is junk food and you're looking for a health food store! :D

AIDS really shut down the swingin' 70's..will be interesting how our current cheapening of sex, relationships and human emotions/feelings pans out.

I refer to men and women both, when it comes to whatever issues may be affecting you (if any) regarding this subject.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 152
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 12:25:26 AM
Yes, read msg #143 more carefully.




Do any of you actually have good stories about dating? Nice easy dates, had fun, he was a gentleman but you just didn't connect? I look back on it all and have to think hard before Crazy Michael pops up in my memory bank or is that stared at my tits all night...neither of them brought up sex or groped, grabbed or "mauled".
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 153
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 6:02:05 AM
I am guessing that the ignorant approach to fast sex maybe worked ONCE for some of these guys, so they figure wth not try it again> I have known women who will go to a first meet at 11pm , go to his place for the first meet, send sexy pictures before even meeting. I mean if you meet a Man on the Beach at midnight - head shake. I don't say anything...
It is important that we don't blame ourselves for some Mens behaviour.. guess be happy he did it outta the gate so you know he is a swine.
I have such the death glare I terrify people. Some guy mauled me he's lose his chiclets
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 154
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 8:30:26 AM
"So why eat it?"

Loneliness. The novelty. Because it looks easy.

Because everyone else is doing it.

The general theme in these forums is that we're all on top of this stuff and have all the answers, so of course..we're all going to be immune from "what the rest of the world is doing." Whether that is true or not, who knows...but the rest of the world really, in many ways, ARE sheep. Not "mindless"..but susceptible, and they tend to parrot each other. The easiest example of this is to just watch language/expression trends on the net. Notice how everyone is saying "Shame on you!" or "Get Over It!" or "YUMMY!" when someone shows what they ate for dinner. *Everyone says and does the same stuff the same way!* Not alot of original thinkers out there. People copy one another. When Miley Cyrus did her infamous sexed up dance routine, for us here, well, we just laughed at it. But it really did influence people. When I look at women's dating profiles you've got every other woman with one eye shut and their tongues sticking out. It is dismaying to think that stupid video actually had any influence over *anyone* but it started this trend. And of course, selfies...in general..everyone does the *same* stuff, in the mirror, the exact same expressions, and the famous "fish lip" pucker.

Tattoos are a big trend here in LA..now suddenly everyone's got tattoos and pierced tongues. Hipsters are all copying one another and growing bushy beards.

People like to think they are immune, or total originals. Far from it.

So, they go along with "what everyone else is doing."

Including hook up apps.

And the idea of seniors doing this...well, my mom is a "senor" now and she survived the 70's...I'd hope they were wise enough to remember what it was like the first time around! :D
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 155
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 9:46:35 AM
^^^I would bet those participants would have opted for electric shock if the choices were either 5 minutes without their cell phones/5 minutes without checking their phones or electric shock.
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 156
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 9:51:13 AM
http://www.nature.com/news/we-dislike-being-alone-with-our-thoughts-1.15508

Really? It's that bad?

'Fraid so.
 prairiefire60
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 157
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 11:22:04 AM
I'd like to know what age group everyone here is referring to when they say "seniors".

I have a tattoo, its mine, bought and paid for and I don't care if anyone likes or dislikes it. We've all been following the crowd in a big hurry to be an "individual" for years and years. And no, I don't want to be without my cell phone or my tv but I do enjoy solitude and quiet when I want it. I have the odd bout of insomnia so I'm alone in my own thoughts enough when I'm tossing and turning and thinking "get to sleep, you have to get up and go to work in two hours".

I think most humans crave touch and I think touch is something none of us gets enough of. JMO
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 158
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 12:59:51 PM
Yeah, the jerks and sleaze bags are out there. Sad but true. 1 bad experience can be traumatic to some, while some seem to have nothing but bad experiences.

It's obvious when a gal tells me her rules for sex before I've made a move, that she's already assumed I'm like the other d!cks that came before me (no pun intended).

No worries, I move on. Not looking to prove I don't want to have sex either.

I'm surprised women are still using OLD after all the coverage here regarding maulings and narcissism.

This is not intended to trivialize the bad behaviors being experienced, but I'm inclined to think OLD isn't as terrible as illustrated in this thread.

FWIW, I think OLD is too fast paced to find a LTR and the odds are against you. That being said, there is still a slim chance :)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 159
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 1:37:26 PM

I'm surprised women are still using OLD after all the coverage here regarding maulings and narcissism.


It's a headscratcher alright.

Or could it be it's because real life hasn't been any better?
I haven't exactly seen an abundance of real life stories related here, worth writing home about either.
You know, long term permanent, completely happy, till death do we part types.
(4 or 5 is not an abundance)



http://www.nature.com/news/we-dislike-being-alone-with-our-thoughts-1.15508


Truly sad.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 160
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 2:28:01 PM
That link is truly sad. :(

There are a few of us still left though....

Oh, let me tell ya, if I could hide beneath the wings....of the bluebird as she sings....
And that dang six o'clock alarm would never ring?

Sigh....

But it rings and I rise,
I wipe the sleep out of my eyes.

So cheer up! Cause....Oh....what can it mean?

It means.....that there are still some....Daydream Believers....amongst us! :D
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 161
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 2:45:32 PM
The Question for some of Us here....... Is.......

"If Tomorrow Never Comes, Will (S)He know how much We loved them"?

On the Sex too soon thing, as one who has spent some time in the Friend Zone, when I was madly in Love with her...... As the Song says....
"You can check out any time you like, but You can never leave."

I will not Enter the Friend Zone again, if I want more from that Relationship...... I won't whine about it, nor will I pressure for Sex.... But if we're not moving that way, fairly quickly, then I won't stay around, either...
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 162
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 3:16:04 PM


http://www.nature.com/news/we-dislike-being-alone-with-our-thoughts-1.15508


Taken from the article...

Many people would rather endure physical pain than suffer their own wandering cogitations.

Reminds me of the quote

Some prefer the certainty of misery rather then the misery of uncertainty

No matter what folks say or do, I contend most folks are risk averse. We'll do what works for us even if it doesn't work for others.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 163
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 3:17:32 PM
"If Tomorrow Never Comes, Will (S)He know how much We loved them"?


^^^^You got that right Mr. Blue Eyes!


That's why I said to my buddy, Garth, awhile back.....

"Garth....you need to write a song to remind people to say....I love you...more often."

He was a little stubborn at first....and wrote....

If tomorrow never comes....
And I'm served with divorce papers
Will she know in every way...
That I tried to protect....my hard earned pay.

But I said......"Noooo, Garth! The World needs a LOVE song.....not another D.I.V.O.R.C.E. song!" Sheesh! Got enough of those!

Now.....aren't you glad I did? ;)
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 164
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 3:39:19 PM
"The Question for some of Us here....... Is.......

"If Tomorrow Never Comes, Will (S)He know how much We loved them"?"

Mauling women has nothing to do with loving them.

". But if we're not moving that way, fairly quickly, then I won't stay around, either..."

Mauling women has nothing to do it.

There is a huge difference between foreplay and mauling.
 prairiefire60
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 165
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 4:31:33 PM
Kaboom. The elephant in the room.

Mauling. Even the OP said she may have used the wrong word. Mauling. I'm sure this is not the word 95% of us would use for an unwanted touch or grab or grope. Mauling, some love to focus on that word. I think of a mauling like what a bear would do...rip my skin off, shred me, leave me half dead.

And yes, why are these folks that have such poor experiences online not out there dating and meeting in real life.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 166
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 4:34:06 PM

Mauling women has nothing to do with loving them.
Mauling women has nothing to do it.
There is a huge difference between foreplay and mauling.


I get it, You don't like me or My Posts..... But I'm not the one who took the Thread Off Topic....

You want to complain about posts that are off the original topic, then Quote all those Others, too....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 167
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 4:41:31 PM
"I get it, You don't like me or My Posts.."

I don't know you. I comment on your posts not because I don't like you.

"You want to complain about posts that are off the original topic, then Quote all those Others, too...."

If you are addressing me, where did I complain about off topic???
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 168
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/28/2015 8:12:27 PM

Best was this British guy who had progressed to talking on the phone, he was telling me how well off he was, and how well respected and wanted me to come over and spend the night Saturday night so we could go to church on Sunday.


Best of Show!
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 169
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/29/2015 12:35:56 AM

http://www.nature.com/news/we-dislike-being-alone-with-our-thoughts-1.15508

Really? It's that bad?

'Fraid so.


I must be a freak of nature. I like to just "wool gather"
I remember cutting a very large lawn for a senior citizen. I guess I looked relaxed and happy.
He asked me what on earth do I think about when I am cutting the grass.

I couldn't come up with an answer. Some times I daydream or problem solve.
Other times I am just praying inside my head.

I do need to keep my hands busy. I can sit in a sparsely furnished place, but I would prefer that I had my knitting with me.
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 170
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/30/2015 4:21:35 AM
^^^^^^^^^^ YW!

Just call me Ferret of the Internet (sung to the tune of "Angel of the Morning").
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 171
Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 10/30/2015 8:59:58 AM

Just call me angel of the morning, angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby.
Just call me angel of the morning, angel
Then slowly turn away from me.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 172
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Seniors & wanting to touch too soon: mauling
Posted: 11/9/2015 5:56:41 PM
moraima & bamagrl68 --interesting points.

I am more outspoken than previously--but appropriate. I state what I want but I am not mean.

Over the years my posts have changed too.

One thing that created a change was briefly enduring an abusive relationship---which I exited as soon as I could see what was what.

I am still supportive of a mate & I don't believe this is a weakness. I expect the same in return.
--------------------------------
Regarding Abuse: Lundy Bancroft's Book "Why does he do that"--- excellent
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