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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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Dear POF wisdom council.. please reviewPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You come across as being unemployed, having no transport and suggesting a meal at your place or hers on the first date, is just cheap and not to mention dangerous. Cooking at home is for friends and family and those you know well.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 27
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 5:37:42 AM
MANAFRIQUE...how are the plans coming along for the POF profile?
Any changes that you are thinking about adopting to see how they work for dating?
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 28
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 8:41:18 AM


That's because your primary concern is to keep your money and not spend it on a man you claim to love. You are placing financial conditions on love. In an age where women have equal rights, many men expect that they will not be judged based upon income, just as they do not judge women. Men need sex appeal and compatibility to fall in love. Not financial security, cars, and entitled lifestyles as an additional condition for love. I'm sure there's exceptions... but most men don't even care what a woman does for a job... she simply has to be cute.


Well, since this profile review has become something else, I'll throw in my 2 cents.

My RECENT experiencs with OLD have left me concluding that women are not as forgiving as men, except visually.

I've been dismissed a few times for not having a house. They claimed it was their litmus test for a man's solvency.

Ironically, several women with these homes, acquired them through death or divorce.

2 of these women were receiving alimony to help with their mortgage payments.

Double standard?

I've yet to meet a woman that was my equal in terms of education and wages, and I'm ok with that.

Even more so when I was younger and naive.

The few times I've met a woman that even came close to my earnings, she still made it clear she was no sugar momma.

Security and comfort, eh? That knife should cut both ways.

I was once told by a woman.. Ya know, I only want to work 2 days a week. The proverbial shoe dropped, big time.



Whoomp there it is

Whoomp there it is

Whoomp chak a laka chack a laka chak a laka chak a
Whoomp chak a laka chack a laka chak a laka chak a
Whoomp chak a laka chack a laka chak a laka chak a



It's sad that I've let these women tarnish my views of relationships, but I'm still somewhat optimistic because I do know, for a fact, that there are women that will adore me for who I am and not what I have. They are the few and far inbetween however.

Sex is easier and a label is harder after 45.

YMMV
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 29
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 9:36:56 AM

That's because your primary concern is to keep your money and not spend it on a man you claim to love

No, my primary concern was not to be on Welfare and rely on social assistance as a senior. You just have no idea, kid.


Women definitely do associate financial wealth with sex appeal.

Again, another generalization that is not 'definitely' true.

Obviously no one is going to change your tiny mind about women and that's truly sad for you. I pity you, really. I hope one day you are able to become less bitter about women (I'm sorry you chose the wrong ones or were raised by the wrong ones, but we're not all whores, honey) and find some inner peace. For now, we are done being penpals as I'm not getting paid to be your therapist.

Manafrique - Good luck. I look forward to seeing your rewrite.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 30
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 9:43:27 AM
This Review is seriously derailed.

Let's remember this is about Manafrique.

If he decides to come back after what's happened here :/....
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 31
.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 10:47:04 AM

Double standard?


They're all over the place.


YMMV


But not by much.


Dear POF wisdom council


Who???!

OP, the best advice I can give a guy regarding omline dating is to use as much clean humor in profile and messages, and hang in there and hope it starts to get appreciated again soon, like it used to be years ago.
 VeeDub_EVO_III
Joined: 3/10/2014
Msg: 32
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 11:47:40 AM

My RECENT experiencs with OLD have left me concluding that women are not as forgiving as men, except visually.


Very true.


I've been dismissed a few times for not having a house. They claimed it was their litmus test for a man's solvency.

That doesn't surprise me at all. It's an attempt to gauge your income without sounding shallow. You're a smart guy who isn't afraid to tell the truth.

But this thread is about the OP... some of the more "materialistic" people here are insisting he buys a car to spruce up his profile... the more accepting posters are advising him to avoid the women who mandate such shallow things. He can do far better than any woman who thinks like that.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 33
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 1:38:11 PM
Poor man just asked for a review - didn't invite anyone to start the pity bus :/
OP - it reads like many others, be good to see some spark - you like to travel - where?
Cooking - you have a special dish?
Prefer not to say is usually code for nope/unemployed/ etc. Just say what you do
PS all the women I know who own homes ( well with the Bank) worked for it, no windfalls, no alimony. Like moi.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 34
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 1:47:05 PM
Manifrique... We are all looking forward to your profile modification.
And most of the women I know who own their own home, either outright or with a mortgage have done so by their own work.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 35
Dear POF wisdom council.. please review
Posted: 10/17/2015 9:38:58 PM
MANAFRIQUE...perhaps if you revisit this Profile Reviews thread we can learn how you're coming along.
 manafrique
Joined: 10/11/2015
Msg: 36
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 10:38:24 AM
Sealady, Forumsonly, Callmelater , Eric Summit , you have spoken . I have listened.Thank you guys , I really appreciate you taking the time to review and give an honest critique , which is what I wanted.
I Just need to explain a few things:-
1. I do have a Job, I just didn't like the fact that the question was placed in a manner suggesting it was a criteria for
judgement of one's character, at least that's what it seemed like to me, so I chose to skip it.My belief was that it's a
topic that should be worked into a conversation with somebody you are interested in or vice versa. Judging from
your replies I was severely wrong.
2. I just moved to where I currently live, from another State just last month.Yes I did have a car before I moved,
but got rid of it.No , I do not currently have a car , but I have several options that I am slowly and carefully
considering and should be mobile within the next 2 weeks max.Again , this a topic I thought should be worked into
an ongoing conversation , so I skipped it.I also believed this should not be used as judgement of one's character,
and going through some of the reviews , I saw that I was right.I think someone mentioned that not having a car
makes me seem "not grown-up" , which I still don't understand how , but I guess that's just how it is.
3. The ideal date I described as being intimate should not be construed as having any sexual connotations.It was
merely another way of saying that I would like my first date to have a very one on one feel to it, in a setting with as
little or possibly no distractions at all.Like I wouldn't want my first date to be in a club or bar; what if an ex or some
random guy just comes over and starts a conversation with her or vice-versa, it might throw a curve on the whole
outing.Now that's what I should have made clear in the first place.

All that being said , I have learnt a lot from your reviews, and so I will take a few days off, go do my homework and come back and do the tweaks you guys suggested....when I'm ready.

I apologise that it took so long to reply, I was just waiting for all the back and forth to die down.

Once again, thank you guys for the advice.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 37
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 11:08:57 AM
Don't mention that you rent either :)
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 38
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 11:16:17 AM
OP just say you have no car. My ex husband had no car and I loved him to pieces. Indicate what field you work in. Engineer, banker, mechanic? Sorry but vagueness translates to shadiness and sends the reader to the next profile.

Do you ever notice that fake women's profiles have the same things in common: suggestive pictures, information is missing or obviously fake, and the job is never identified.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 39
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 3:44:00 PM

Ironically, several women with these homes, acquired them through death or divorce.


What’s so ironic? If she had died, he would have gotten it. Were there children involved?
They should have a roof over their heads and usually stay with mom.

I suppose that statement means to imply the women contributed nothing to the mortgage or household and had no right to it.

The misogyny in these forums lately is sickening.

Good luck to you, OP.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 40
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:01:41 PM
It means the man had the home before she met him, now has a home and is being judgmental towards non homeowners.

But at least I wouldn't go so far as calling her a misandrist, and sickening.

You could flip this script around and make it not gender specific, but I gotta feeling it's not as common.



 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 41
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:19:52 PM
^^ Clooney .... this home owner issue is certainly affecting you.
You must have met a few too many of the 'wrong stuff'.

OP..... a first date / meet can be at a friendly cafe.
Choose somewhere you can continue and do something else if you wish.
e.g. As cooking is such an interest of yours, perhaps a cafe near a farmers market or a seafood market.
Somewhere you can walk around and have a talk and show off your expertise.
Start with a coffee, then a walk.
Makes the conversation much easier and you get to find out about each other a lot more than at a loud bar.

I now understand your choices. But sadly there are so many people on here who are sponges that many suspect the worst.

My suggestion.... Put your industry to answer the job question.
Answer Yes to the car question as it is only a matter of a short time inbetween cars.




 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 42
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:51:58 PM
I just noticed OPs idea of a first date is that I have to cook for him?? No honey, you have to marry me first.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 43
thanks guys
Posted: 10/18/2015 8:18:49 PM
I implore you people with beefs with each other to take it all elsewhere and leave this poor man's review alone.

He might be getting good advice but it's impossible to find in all this nonsense.

It's beyond ridiculous when he has to check out of his own thread while grown adults chose to bicker and engage in petty BS that has nothing to do with him.

Manafrique,

You owe nobody an explanation of your life situation. Women you are interested in dating will, however want to know the basics.
It's up to you how much you want to share.
Since certain questions are built into the site's format, not answering them is seen as evasive and people tend to make up their own answers for you...often based on others they meet here.
At this point you are complete strangers.

I'll address the points you made in your reply:
1. I do have a Job, I just didn't like the fact that the question was placed in a manner suggesting it was a criteria for judgement of one's character, at least that's what it seemed like to me, so I chose to skip it.My belief was that it's a topic that should be worked into a conversation with somebody you are interested in or vice versa. Judging from your replies I was severely wrong.
Not severely wrong; just misguided.
Entering a profession isn't for character judgment...nobody can decide that from a person's job. It's just to show you have one and/or the field in which you work. It can be vague.
It can also be an icebreaker, as asking about a person's line of work can open up conversation.


2. I just moved to where I currently live, from another State just last month.Yes I did have a car before I moved, but got rid of it.No , I do not currently have a car , but I have several options that I am slowly and carefully
considering and should be mobile within the next 2 weeks max.Again , this a topic I thought should be worked into
an ongoing conversation , so I skipped it.I also believed this should not be used as judgement of one's character,
and going through some of the reviews , I saw that I was right.I think someone mentioned that not having a car
makes me seem "not grown-up" , which I still don't understand how , but I guess that's just how it is.
Mention in your profile that you recently moved, if you're comfortable with it.
Again, whether or not you have a car is not for a character judgment; it has been shown to be a question that is important to the majority of people here.
Frequently, if one person has a car and the other doesn't, the one with 4 wheels ends up doing all driving, including picking up for dates, errands, etc.
Since you don't want to be judged on whether or not you have one, write "no" and you won't be considered by those who require it. Or wait until you have one so you can say "yes".
Your choice...just don't be evasive.
Yes, a car is a rite of passage into adulthood, but is less of an issue in areas with good public transit.


3. The ideal date I described as being intimate should not be construed as having any sexual connotations.It was merely another way of saying that I would like my first date to have a very one on one feel to it, in a setting with as little or possibly no distractions at all.Like I wouldn't want my first date to be in a club or bar; what if an ex or some random guy just comes over and starts a conversation with her or vice-versa, it might throw a curve on the whole outing.Now that's what I should have made clear in the first place.
Now there are certain buzz words that are code for sex, and "intimate" ranks very high.
Especially when you pair that with being in your home or her home for a first date. That's really screaming for sex.
Now you know. It's also extremely unsafe for both of you.
Have you experienced random men or exes interrupting your dates?
That's something that would never enter my mind.
Save the home cooking for when you know each other better.

You need to be mindful of grammar--capitalization, punctuation, sentence structure, as you have a lot of errors. Run through a word program if you can.

Looking forward to the rewrite if you ever dare to come back.
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Dear POF wisdom council.. please review