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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do men really expect to find "the one" on a site like POF?      Home login  
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 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 26
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

The guys who love monogamous, committed relationships are already married and have girlfriends..


And the some of the keepers my age are still married until they get cheated on or widowed...

Some of us arent single by choice....and a few of us would still be married if it was up to us....but it wasnt up to us....quite sure that goes for some of the ladies too...

Pigs come in both sexes...or there wouldnt be no piglets.

People of both sexes get done wrong...and do others wrong....people of all ages...

It's as old as men and women.

The problem for alot of decent guys is trying to get the attention of women who are busy checking out magic mike and dreaming of Christian Grey.....seems like many women now chase the fantasy and when they dont find it they become disapointed or get used , abused or screwed over....and get even more jaded.

Most decent guys are simple creatures and I'm sure a few will attest to this.........hose us off when we get home from work...feed us...screw us..love us....put us to bed and we will do that every day for the rest of our lives with a big cheesy grin, a quick step, and never wander.

It aint rocket surgery.

Women?...I dont have a clue....women are strange wonderous curvy creatures who smell good and sometimes cry when they get a flat tire...they dont break promises..they change their minds cuz they feel different about it now...running around on a couple guys isnt being a player...it's being confused or conflicted.

Some of the stuff you ladies do simply confuses the hell out of us....like a drunk booty call from an ex you been missing at 2am.....try that being a guy and see what happens....LOL....a girl will get her booty call.......and then get up and say that didnt mean anything....I just missed you.....yeah doesnt that mean something?

No bye....vrooooom.....

Then the smoke comes out our ears cuz stuff like that doesnt compute in our tiny caveman brains...we go UGH...go grab a beer and sit there trying to figure out what the hell just happened...

I'm thinking of just hiring a wife...lol..this would be my and and what I could offer...(we should start a thread with want ads lol)

Wanted, single,smart, attractive women, who has been cheated on and would never cheat, with or without children for the position of wife, who is seeking a single smart attractive man who has been cheated on and would never cheat ,with our without children,who would hold the future title of "husband" and be Co-CEO of "family Inc.' LLC

Salery 35k/yr

Perks listed in no certain order
:
Free dental,optical and healthcare, perscription, and a pension plan that requires no contributions.

Auto of recent model year provided, fully insured.

Use of company gas and credit cards.

Assorted gifts on holidays and special occasions.

Unlimited Use of the company lake house.

Clothing allowance

Spa membership

gym membership

Free wi-fi and cable

Fully stocked kitched with modern appliances

Furnished break area with home entertainment system

Relocation and moving expenses

Well lit laundry area

Off street secured parking

On site mechanic

Emergency road service.

Armed gaurd on site every night provided for your security.

Trained CPR first responder on site every nite.

Fully furnished sleeping quarters with full master bath attached and spa tub.

Unlimited use of the swiming pool and workout equipment.

Use of the outdoor deck area and BBQ.

Maintained landscape and lawns.

Theraputic back and foot rubs

Yearly trips to various vacation spots with airfare and loging provided.

50% of the company stock upon merger and title of Co-owner aka "wife"

Seniority in the company provides even more perks through years of loyal company service....like expensive jewelry, fine dining events, surprise trips and planned annual activities.

Use of the company inter communication system is manditory

Husband required to keep****in pants at all times unless in the imediate presence of wife.

Meeting attendence is required.

Any physical contact will be negotiated on a case by case basis within mutually agreed terms and limits.

In the event the employee and new co-owner known as 'wife' should outlive the employee and co owner known as 'husband.'..the employee and co-owner known as wife shall become the sole owner and retain all company assets minus appropriate state and federal taxes.

This is an exclusive binding contract and no other vendors bids will be entertained for the life of this contract.

Should you be seeking this postion of employment please respond via the POF messaging system for consideration.

"Family inc" LLC is an equal opportunity employer.

; )
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 27
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 12:03:13 PM

I do however think a site like this is much more beneficial for those over 40 years old oppose to people my age.


It depends on your area. Every so often I un-hide my profile, add words and pictures and everything. I am lucky if I get one message a week. I have an active profile on OKC and on Match. I very, very rarely get messages on them either. I am the wrong age in the wrong place.

The one? I don't believe that "there is someone for everyone" nonsense. Every pot doesn't have a lid. I gave up thinking I would have a true love or soul mate or whatever you want to call it a long time ago.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 28
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 12:13:43 PM

I am the wrong age in the wrong place.


Correction.....right age...wrong place.

If i wasnt like a thousand miles away I'd ask you out in a heartbeat....doesnt mean you'd go, but I'd at least ask.

; )
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 29
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 12:19:42 PM


Dial-a-F*ck


Do they take collect calls?



It depends on your area.


Yep. Come to Los Angeles. City of the Angels. Millions of fish in this dating pond, which poses a whole other set of challenges...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 30
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 2:14:35 PM

My question is : Do you guys actually expect to find "the one" over POF? do you put that much effort to actually thinking that pof is the only place you're going to find a girlfriend? I'm asking because from my experience with speaking to others, it seems like this is what they rely on. I do however think a site like this is much more beneficial for those over 40 years old oppose to people my age. I would like opinions from men, and from women. Thank you.


Your best option might be special interest groups. For example, my uncle met his wife from being part of the same group that discusses garage music. You never know until you meet people, but I think it's more likely to find a good relationship when you have some sort of similar interest. Taking a look at the key words in your profile under "interests" might be worth a shot.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 31
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 2:47:05 PM
You can find the one anywhere, who knows, you could find her here, or not. I don't really know why we have to be schooled at least once a week about how we are all doing it wrong. geesh
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 32
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 3:17:33 PM
er, how big is that clothing allowance?
Rent a spouse could work. Tight terms and conditions.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 33
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 3:52:13 PM


don't have much to offer at this point


What do you expect to be able to offer someone before you qualify yourself for a relationship?

I was about to say your time is a valuable asset to share with someone, but I could also see how someone could be so busy they had no time to share with someone.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 34
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:01:04 PM
I think the best things that we have to offer someone is ourselves.

My hope is that what I have to offer is myself and time with me.
Also hope that he can offer himself and time with him.
Sharing our mutual passions, exporing new ones and lots and lots of fireworks.

At least that is what is in my dream.
 TerrieLynnC70
Joined: 6/22/2013
Msg: 35
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:31:23 PM
There is no such thing as "the one" ...........
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 36
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:55:38 PM

Msg. 38: There is no such thing as "the one" ...........

Many people agree with you in theory. Nevertheless …

When I say, “the one,” I mean the one who happens to meet me at an opportune time, and we’re smitten with each other and compatible enough to see what happens between us forever.
 marysunshine02
Joined: 10/11/2015
Msg: 37
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 4:56:36 PM
^^^ Yes, there is. Why do you think otherwise?
 marysunshine02
Joined: 10/11/2015
Msg: 38
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 5:16:01 PM
My question was for TerrieLynn.

I think there is "the one". Some have had "the one" and they lost them through death or maybe a marriage that ended after 20 or 25 years (the majority of the years were great). And I think there is another "the one" out there for most of us. That social one that we will love incnditionally and they will love us the same.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 39
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 5:29:27 PM

er, how big is that clothing allowance?


Hmmm...excellent inquiry.

The standard Federal cap for uniform allowance is 800 /yr...but that seems rather low for this high demand segment of the economy....would 1600/yr even be in the ball park?....footwear, accesseries and emergency purchaces not included of course...I dont really want to get the union involved....


Rent a spouse could work.


I think the word rent implies short term rather and long term investment strategy....Buy is rather offensive...I was something that spounds more corporate than franchise.....a name that carries that also carries on the mission statement......"to form a more perfect union"

"The Valence Project" or "Valence strategies group"

"The valence (or valency) of an element is a measure of its combining power with other atoms when it forms chemical compounds or molecule.....Valence only describes connectivity; it does not describe the geometry of molecular compounds, or what are now known to be ionic compounds or giant covalent structures. ."

In other words the greater the valency...the greater the strength of the resulting molecular foundation.



Tight terms and conditions.


Excellent subliminal advertising there....

: P
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 40
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 5:43:20 PM
It would be nice, but I wouldn't stand on one foot waiting. It would be nice if the fairer sex would throw some obvious clues to us dense, non-observant clods that they are interested. But, I'm sure that in doing so, they could end up having one too many couch-wrestling matches. Since I happen to be one of those introverted men, (one of the 40%percenters) I can safely say that defeating ones inhibitions is easier said than done. You extroverts can give us all a ton of how-to's, and yes, it can help to an extent. However, I don't think that you really know what we feel, any more than I know what a woman's emotions feels like.

One thing comes to my mind is that we interact with people daily in our work. It's all work-related. There's nothing sociable about it. We ask questions, dig up the necessary information, and go about doing what we're hired to do. If you throw out some sociable hints, we miss it, it has nothing to do with work. Put us in a social situation, and we're lost. As we attempt to make a connection, we're fighting our fear. This is where OLD is a big plus. The pressure is off, and we can think about how to be interesting. That sense of desperation isn't there. Then we get to living with non-replies. The desperation returns in a different form, as we try to figure out why this doesn't work. Frustration increases, until we just decide it isn't worth the hassle.

Get us past the introductions, calm and dispose of our introverted ways, and you just might find some pretty strong, likeable people with outstanding values.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 41
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 6:25:44 PM
Yes the old cliché, there is someone for everyone, you will find the one, etc.... not necessarily so.

I have done some experimenting with profiles and once you are over 45 the interest diminishes greatly.

I also think that women in particular get more fussy and wont settle for just all right once they are more mature, independent and don't need someone to father their children.....
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 42
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 8:39:20 PM

What do you expect to be able to offer someone before you qualify yourself for a relationship?

I was about to say your time is a valuable asset to share with someone, but I could also see how someone could be so busy they had no time to share with someone.

Hi Clooney, this question made me think…

Yes, I have time to share, and would be willing to share it… I guess what I don’t have anymore is enthusiasm and hope that I had when I married at 25, and when I still hoped to start a family post-divorce in my early thirties. Now I’m kind of in a frozen state… I’m 36 and supposed to be freaking out about the biological clock, right? Well it’s easier on my nerves to give up altogether and not worry about it. I was also a victim of a crime when I was younger and that affected me, which I outlined down in the Sex forums in the (pardon me) Deep Throating thread.

So I guess a hopeless apathetic woman is not much of a catch… but I do also have good qualities, such as education and a good job, no debt, a 401K account, honesty, I’m a good dancer, a regular church goer, and I have never said no to sex (in a relationship or marriage, I mean).
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 43
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/18/2015 10:18:06 PM
36 is still so young NJ.......it really seems like yesterday for me....

No at 36 you should not be freaking out at all....you just havent met the right person that can replace that hopelessness with hope an that apathy with action....I was with my ex almost as long as you have been alive....and if I can find the guts to get back on the dating horse then you can do...

If you ever want to talk about anything at all......drop me a note.

Since it's come up....my baggage is I have been through a meat grinder emotionally after the affair was exposed....and it was worse getting played afterwords with all the false promises and false hope.....I pretty much lost my mind....I lost control on my emotion trottle....I'd go from rage to dispair in minutes....I would have to pull over on the way to work three times cuz I was crying so hard I couldnt see....and I started to try and drink myself to death......or drink just to black out so I wouldnt even dream...I started having reverse nightmares.....where I would dream that everything was getting worked out or had been etc.....and then waking again into the nightmare9that was the absolute worst...I'd be late cuz I couldnt stop crying long enough to even make it to my truck....I was having flashbacks and getting hit with triggers just driving in traffic......much worse when walking into my empty house.....I seriously considered taking my own life....but my daughter was 10 at the time and I just couldnt do that to her....

So I got some help....not good help at first.....they tried a couple anti depressants on me but that only made things worse....people couldnt seem to grasp why I couldnt simply walk away and start over....like it was nothing (much like the ex has done with the advice of her counciler).....it's over just move on......

It was actually after I got my DUI and was forced into treatment than I met a guy who "got it"....I was talking to him for a about a half hour.....he was an Iraq vet who came home and got hooked on heroin for a couple years and lost everything....

He paused....got up and grabbed a book.....flipped through it then had me read what he found.....PISS....I said yeah you bet I'm pissed...lol......no dummy....PISS is Post Infidelity Stress Syndrome....a form of PTSD that often goes untreated and can effect a person for years....the effects are more severe when the partner is totally caught flat footed.... the greater the trauma...the more pronounced the effects can be....I eventually lost my job because I simply couldnt function at work anymore...

But at least now I knew I wasnt losing my mind......I had suffered a life altering trauma....and I knew I could beat it....

I stopped blaming myself.....it wasnt my fault anyway...I got off the meds, got a new job, fixed my motorcycle and started riding again....shaved.....got a hair cut....got my drinking back under control, made a point to get out of my house every day for at least an hour.....just to the corner bar and play a game of pool and eat a cheese buger if nothing else... went new places, and met new people, saw new bands......that all helped....

The good days started to outnumber the bad......I regained my sence of humor.....I regained the abilty to have a conversation without mentioning my ex (that was a hard one)...and I eventually started meeting new women and going on dates again...

I think what actually helped the most was talking to the forum ladies on another site I used to be on....they were so kind and supportive and would do their best to give me a womans perspective on certain matters and how no....what she was doing was not "normal behavior"...cheaters are broken people.....and unless they get help...they will always cheat again.

I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death and survived to find myself on the other side , stronger for the journey....I've been burned to the core and reborn of new flesh and mind....

I still have a bad day here or there....but I know my life goes on...I will love and be loved again....until then I refuse to wallow in self pity or self recrimination... I'm out doing what I like to do....own the pool table for the night and beat all challengers....and chit chat with the pretty girls in the smoke area between games.

And honestly....had I known how much fun i was going to be having answering only to myself again....I might not have taken it so hard or recovered faster...I'm really having fun again ....I just miss sharing it with a woman.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 44
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 6:36:06 AM

VK: The guys who love monogamous, committed relationships are already married and have girlfriends.


Guys can say the same thing about women. Why do you think some guys do the carpet bombing method: the sending out 100 or 200 introductions, hoping to get one reply? How many women do that? Besides, at some point, everybody was single and available. Nobody was born with an engagement or wedding ring on. And a lot are single and available for a second or third time.

If sites like POF are not the right place to find The One, what is the right place to find The One? Are all of the Right Ones locked up somewhere in one location, waiting for their counterpart Ones to show up and rescue them? The One can be anywhere and everywhere, including sites like POF. The problem is being in the right place at the right time and to be able to recognize if you found a potential One, instead of being guided by a fantasy image of what The One should be, which is a very common practice with on-line dating sites, which leads to rejecting everybody.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 45
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 6:53:19 AM
No. I have no expectations for OLD. In particular POF. It can be tough getting a date / meeting because of competition and some people have very high expectations with a long list of requirements. If/when there is a date/meeting, there often isn't another one because many people expect "instant chemistry" with a virtual stranger. Even when a date goes well, it is still possible there isn't another date due to a various reasons.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 46
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 8:31:54 AM

Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?


I don't think its unreasonable to expect to find a keeper here.

Rather than waste time on putting together great messages to ladies only for them to go unread/deleted in the sea of messages they receive, I spent time on putting together a good profile and stated that I would only date ladies that reached out to me............it worked great!! While I didn't get a huge number of responses, the responses I did get were from some very quality ladies and I've been with one now for over 6 years...........

This place does work and you can find "the one" if you put time and effort into it.............
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 47
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 8:47:07 AM
^^^"This place does work and you can find "the one" if you put time and effort into it............."

I looked at your profile to see what you did right, and I agree with all of the points you made about what's a turn-off versus what isn't.
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 48
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 12:59:24 PM

are already married and have girlfriends.

Both?
Sounds like overload to me.
I'd be happy with one or the other.
I don't particularly expect to find that here.

what is the right place to find The One?

In an open heart and open mind.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 49
Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 2:23:33 PM
"In an open heart and open mind."

Oh Mr. Rennips! You are soooo cute! You give me hope! :D
 TerrieLynnC70
Joined: 6/22/2013
Msg: 50
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Do men really expect to find the one on a site like POF?
Posted: 10/19/2015 3:30:49 PM

My question was for TerrieLynn.

I think there is "the one". Some have had "the one" and they lost them through death or maybe a marriage that ended after 20 or 25 years (the majority of the years were great). And I think there is another "the one" out there for most of us. That social one that we will love inconditionally and they will love us the same.



If there is a such thing as "the one" and "someone for everyone" (I don't buy that clique' crap either) then why are there still people that are single?

I just don't believe in "the one" or that there is "someone for everyone" . Maybe it's because I've never been shown it. I've been on this site off and on for a long time. Never even met anybody from on here. I've sent PLENTY of messages and NEVER even get a response. I don't believe in chasing after anybody. Besides there are too many on here that are married and want their cake and to eat it too...............so it just isn't worth it.
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