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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Home ownership a dealbreaker?      Home login  
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 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 76
Home ownership a dealbreaker?Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Message 63 stands as delivers. Succinct, to the point and accurate.

The confusion comes when certain people become enraged that women don't actually fall into the "they're all nothing but contradictive, rotten gold digging shit*.....so they scramble around, twist themselves into knots and bang their heads against walls trying to find some weak, ineffective scrap of an example of how shitty women are.

Ironically-they are still attracted to women and want to f*ck them.


My my...and even after all this...hahahahaha
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 77
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 12:12:54 PM
Most of the men I have dated freely tell me all about their finances without me asking. Doesnt seem to matter whether they are doing well or just getting by, they tell me what their income is, bow much they have in the bank, etc.
I must have a face they can trust, LOL.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 78
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 1:28:24 PM
Those of Y'all who say sell Your Houses & buy one together, Or move out of Your Apartments & rent one together, don't live where staying in one's Apt or House, is the Best Option...

The Quirks of Property Tax laws, where VK & I live, or someone who has inherited a Rent Control Apartment in NYC, would be better off staying there. That is, unless one has more Money, than they could ever spend... If only one of the Couple is locked in to those Benefits, it makes Financial Sense, for them Both to Live in that Person's Place...
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 79
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 1:31:33 PM
Wow. you must have an honest face Strawberry_jello! I would never discuss my finances with a man that I am merely dating. The only people that need to know that business are my stock broker/financial planner and my two adult children in case I die unexpectedly!
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 80
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 1:34:11 PM
I think I have the same sort of face as Strawberry.
People tell me the most personal details.

The only people who know my financial situation is me and my accountant.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 81
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 2:34:22 PM
I think if you buy another home when you're 55 or older here in Ca, you can transfer your current property tax rate to it...which is great...looking forward to a retirement home with very minimal property tax, comparatively.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 82
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 6:07:41 PM
sealady111- It's not about home ownership for me, it's about financial responsibility.
I can NOT stand debt.
If I can't pay for it, right then, I don't need it.
The deal breaker, for me, the "I want it, so I'm going to have it, no matter the consequences," mindset.
I want to know if they can SAVE, if they can pass by something, or give up something, because they have self control.
I want to make sure they can keep a check book balanced, if they respect themselves and ME enough to discuss major purchases TOGETHER.
I'm a saver, I'm thrifty, I already found out the hard way I can't deal with my opposite, no thanks.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 83
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/20/2015 6:32:17 PM


For one, her married lover is wealthy and pays for lots of things.


There ya go!

She's tied up with her money paying for her mortgage. She finds a lover to wine and dine her.

Oy vey.

******

I've met women in the past that have rented with me and eventually got a mortgage together as well.

Judging by the posts in this thread, I'm grateful that several of the ladies look beyond home ownership as the measure of man's financial responsibility:)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 84
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 8:13:25 AM

sealady111
They date. Go out. Have lovers.
Some of the ladies do not mind dating married men from the start.
Others find out he is married later and still do not mind.
Finding charming and handsome married men for a fling is very easy.
For one, her married lover is wealthy and pays for lots of things.
A couple of hundred thousand worth I think to date.
He lives with his wife interstate and visits her on business trips.
They go away on holidays. He has met her family, friends and children.
Another has not had to open her purse for a date for years.
I wonder if their wives know where the money and their husbands are going?


Sounds an awful lot like a “sugar daddy” arrangement to me. I have considered such an arrangement. I have the funds, and there is a lot to be said for it. Every time I get fed up with dating, and doing large numbers of meet-n-greets with nothing to show for it. It could actually be cheaper than dating!

And … you could definitely be with a much younger, much more attractive woman. Much more. The only question is, how young could you go before you started to feel awkward when out in public together? Probably one of the main reasons I haven’t done it yet. I have looked around on some of the web sites dedicated to such dealings, and automatically I want to choose the youngest, best looking woman available. And then I think, “Jeez, what would people think? They would know I was paying for her company!”

On the other hand, maybe I could learn to not give a s___ what anyone else thinks. Hmmmm…


bamagrl68
sealady111- It's not about home ownership for me, it's about financial responsibility.
I can NOT stand debt.
If I can't pay for it, right then, I don't need it.
The deal breaker, for me, the "I want it, so I'm going to have it, no matter the consequences," mindset.
I want to know if they can SAVE, if they can pass by something, or give up something, because they have self control.
I want to make sure they can keep a check book balanced,


Once my son got out of college, I was able to pay off all consumer debt within 2 years. I have not been in debt for anything other than a mortgage or a car for nearly 20 years now.

“keep their check books balanced” – I remember that, it was a PITA. Haven’t done that in …, oh, many years now. I write very close to zero checks, I pay bills online, and use a debit card. Once or twice a month, I look at my account online, verify all charges look legitimate and the balance is in the ball park (plus or minus a few thousand).

When I was young, and struggling to get by month to month, money and finances occupied many hours of my time. Not now. Once you get to the point in life where you have enough money, you really don’t spend a lot of time thinking about money and finances. And that is a very nice thing.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 85
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 8:32:21 AM

The Quirks of Property Tax laws, where VK & I live, or someone who has inherited a Rent Control Apartment in NYC, would be better off staying there.


Bingo! I probably will never give up my rent stabilized apt( we have both rent stabilized and rent control in NYC). If I got remarried my wife would have to be cool with me keeping the apt. You don't give them up!My aunt's rent was 1400 a month for a 1 br on Billionaires row when she passed away. Market rate is probably over 4k a month.


That being said, homes generally aren't good investments in normal conditions and in most places. You buy one because you really want one, to live, but as an investment...nope, unless you are flipping them, or own a multifamily and are renting them out. If I had a home all these years I would have an expensive home value wise but not be as wealthy because I wouldn't have been able to invest cash.

Of course during the crash it would have been wise to buy in Vegas and parts of Florida. Owning was less expensive than renting.

As for property taxes...a big scam here. The homes go up and you pay more taxes but it isn't like most benefit from the value increases. My landlord explained his dilemma. His property taxes are skyrocketing as his building value increases, but it is only on paper since he can't buy a cheaper building and he can't raise rents to cover costs( rent stabilized).
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 86
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 8:53:16 AM

On the other hand, maybe I could learn to not give a s___ what anyone else thinks. Hmmmm…


http://www.theartofadd.com/2012/11/08/worrying-about-others/

“You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do” (David Foster Wallace).

OT, As this thread progresses, I am seeing things in a new light. LOL, There is more going on here than, "home ownership". Way more!
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 87
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 10:58:05 AM
ohenryx- Yeah, I gave away my age with the checkbook thing, didn't I? :D
Seriously though, I also bank online, so I keep track of my balance that way, too.
The four reasons I still keep a checkbook:
1) Computers crash, stuff happens, things like how much money I have/spend are things I don't want to sweat if technology fails me.
2) I'm a little forgetful. If I make more than two purchases in a day and can't SEE my balance, I don't like that.
3) I use my cell phone for calls and sometimes texts. I'm not going to be on my phone to connect with the bank, every time I make a purchase.
4) Seeing my balance, forcing myself to write down what I spend and have left, as I spend it, is one of the TOP ways I keep my spending in check.
Hmmmmm, maybe my grandparents went a LITTLE overboard, teaching me to be careful with money, but I'll take being TOO careful over not careful enough! :)
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 88
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 2:44:22 PM
What are property taxes?
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 89
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 3:33:04 PM
I agree pitufina.
It is the same here unless there is a very clear will, prenup or cohabitaion agreement.
But even then it is not 100%.

At least in this day and age we women can own property.

The last time I checked here in Australia a cohabitating partner can make a claim on your assets after you have slept together 4 or more nights a week for 6 months or 1 day in death.
I have seen it happen.

Scary stuff.


vvvv What we call rates and land tax. Thank you :)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 90
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 3:34:34 PM
Property taxes are what home owners in the US pay to the government, so they can waste it on educating kids, maintaining our potholes. and give the government officials big fat raises for sitting on their butts. Mine, this year is based on assessed value of my property, and I pay 1.6% of what they valued it at. Since I paid for mine outright in 1990, I've paid for my home -twice.

Here's something to think about- a housing development in near New York city, call Levitown, NY. was put together for returning WW2 veterans to buy. Houses sold for $7500. I have been told that the property taxes there,now, are over $12,000-PER YEAR. Some vets bought there and stayed. I bet they really gripe about that.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 91
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 4:54:59 PM
purplerider1200- Let's not forget the triple dip...............
Inheritance tax.
In some states, people pay property tax when they buy property/a house.
They pay income taxes on what they earn and if they leave any of it to someone, the person getting it is taxed too.
Edit to add- I found this out when my grandmother left her assets to 3 of us (her grandchildren). The governments take, JUST on what we got, 30%. :(
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 92
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 5:11:03 PM

Here's something to think about- a housing development in near New York city, call Levitown, NY. was put together for returning WW2 veterans to buy. Houses sold for $7500. I have been told that the property taxes there,now, are over $12,000-PER YEAR. Some vets bought there and stayed. I bet they really gripe about that.


That is nothing...that is based on a home of about 350k. But I bet the cheapest home in a decent part would cost about 500k and have about 17k in taxes. When prices moved up in the NYC suburbs, taxes did also. I worked with co workers who had close to 20k in property taxes. Once they retired they ran to Florida.

But realize those veterans can sell their homes for over half a million now and retire on the profit.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 93
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 5:20:30 PM
adventurejoe70- Good point.
I have NO idea what my grandparents paid for the place when they bought it, back in the 30's, but it was close to the water and it sold for, more than likely, ten times what they paid for it, at least.
What I learned- Use life insurance to pass on inheritance to your children.
I wanted, SO badly, to buy out my brother and sister and keep the house in the family, but my portion was not enough to do it.
 relaxenjoylifetoo
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 94
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 5:35:42 PM
For the most part yes, I would expect a potential relationship partner to be financially stable and responsible. There could be a few exceptions. World traveler or RVer. Maybe some serious financial issues through no fault of his own, serious medical issues or something. But not just an irresponsible person in general.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 95
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Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 6:16:26 PM
Per message 74- Maleman: As to who moves in with whom in a committed relationship, I'm sure it varies depending on individual circumstances but, as I stated in another thread, in my case I will be moving in with him as he has the nicer house that is paid off. I am selling mine and will be relieved to be rid of the mortgage, yard work, and maintenance.
Time will tell if it will feel like 'my' house, but I doubt I will feel like a mere tenant. Especially after we are married.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 96
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 6:29:00 PM
My county now has a seller's tax that was slipped into the code during some smoky room secret meeting.
When we sell a house, condo, townhouse, or any property...one quarter of 1% must be paid as a tax.
That tax gets plenty of people upset because it can easily be thousands of dollars in this housing market.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 97
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 6:39:18 PM
I just did the calculation.

If here in Sydney you wanted to buy an 'average' home.
Purchase price $1 million.
The Stamp Duty is just under $40,490
If for your own home or an investment.

I was chatting to another single lady friend yesterday.
One of the - no married men - so I will remain single brigade.
She is thinking of selling her 3 bedroom town house and is expecting to get about $1.3million then downsizing to somewhere further out for about $800,000

You USA lot are soooo fortunate.
 marysunshine02
Joined: 10/11/2015
Msg: 98
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 8:01:40 PM
There are many, many areas in the US and Canada where the average home price is a million or more. And many areas where it is less. Depends where you live. It seems like a few on here are overly focused on what they have, how much it's worth and the price they put on themselves.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 99
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/21/2015 9:11:01 PM
No mind blowing revelations observed.

Some bought cheap and are now nestled in Ft Knox minding their asset.

Some got divorced since the real estate bubble burst and can't affort to buy a Ft Knox at this time.

Some are seeking another Ft Knox to cohabit with.

YMMV
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 100
Home ownership a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/22/2015 2:35:02 PM
I did a little research and Sydney falls into the 10 most expensive cities in the world to buy property.
NYC also made the list, and seems comparable to Sydney.
People who live in these cities will have a vastly different idea of value/price compared to the majority of people in my area and most areas in the US.

Where I live, I can get a 4000 sq foot (464 sq meter) home for the same $1 million for a 441 sq ft (41 sq meter) home in Sydney. I do, however live in the suburbs of the state capital.
But we need to do the dollar conversion because the millions aren't the same...1 AU dollar = .721 US dollar.
Cities and countries really can't be compared to each other unless you do the conversions, cost of living, comparable salaries, etc.

So spending $1 million on a house in Sydney is equivalent to spending $721, 000 on a home in the US which really isn't an outlandish amount of money for a home, even in my area. The difference is what you get for your money.

People where I live would laugh at the snobbery of your friends, Sealady, because their entire 441 sf home would fit into a living room here and homes here usually have 2 of them.

The thing is also, that income is generally higher in places where the housing costs more. I would make double the amount of money for the same job in NYC, which would make the housing that much more affordable.

I am interested in the Stamp Duty. Is that a one time thing and then no more taxes associate with the house?

Homeowners pay a sales tax when we buy, then pay yearly property tax and school tax based on the assessed value of the home (not paid by renters). These things never go away, even when the mortgage is paid, and is usually raised every year. How much you pay depends on the city and county in which you live.
For the home in the above example, I would expect to pay minimum $20k-30k yearly taxes in my area.
Add the mandatory yearly homeowner's insurance which is determined for replacement cost--not market value, and for certain areas, a homeowners association fee. The mortgage (with 20% down payment of $150k) would be about $4-5K/mo. added to that.

If looking strictly from an investment/wealth standpoint, we will never ever make our money back on our homes.
Rent for the above home would run about $3-4k/month.
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