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 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 151
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men and wanting nothing seriousPage 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I find that when you are looking for nothing but an enjoyable time and life, all the other things come when right. When one looks for serious at the start, one eliminates most of those that could be more but will not be, because of attitude, and all those things that make up what could be compared to what is....;)
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 152
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 12:25:11 PM
c_deacon said:

When one looks for serious at the start, one eliminates most of those that could be more but will not be, because of attitude, and all those things that make up what could be compared to what is....;)



When one looks for sex at the start, one eliminates most of those that could be more but will not be, because of attitude, and all those things that make up what could be compared to what is....;)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 153
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 12:55:08 PM

BOTTOM LINE - if you aren't getting what you want, you won't stick around. Period. You have admitted it. I'm not sure what more there is to add to this.


If you think about it the onus of a relationship is the balance of getting what you want as it overlaps with exactly what the other person wants and is looking for.

Take of instance sex. Most sex happens at the beginning of the relationship and then goes through a natural process of diminishing activity. If you started with very little sex to begin with, waiting all this freaking time to then have sex, and then soon wear off. It's a sad state of affairs. But if that is what you like, how you approach relationships. More power to you. It's what YOU want, and even when you may bu l l sh it yourself that it's not, it's what you make happen, so it is.

So you pursue what fits your criteria, if it does not, move on. The sooner the better, even better, the moment you see the red flags, move on.
 prairiefire60
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 154
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 1:10:45 PM
Geek, think you missed the important sentence in Mr. Deacon's post -


I find that when you are looking for nothing but an enjoyable time and life, all the other things come when right.


Everything, including sex, should happen when it's right as opposed to the 3 date rule, must know my favourite colour, must have met my bffs, must have had 10 dates or whatever other little game someone plays has to make someone jump through hoops.
 DearestPrudence
Joined: 10/28/2015
Msg: 155
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 1:19:23 PM
That would be my guess.
 kernowmade
Joined: 12/16/2013
Msg: 156
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 4:53:30 PM
I always read it that, nothing serious until the right one comes along :o
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 157
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 10/31/2015 8:17:00 PM

thepig0ftheopera write: Wow, you certainly have a gift for complicating things

I don't see anything complicated. I see letting things move along as the two individuals are comfortable with things.

You seem to see things either black or white. There are shades of grey as well. Not all relationships are not completely black nor completely white. There is more to a relationship than just saying, "If I don't get what "I" want within a certain amount of time" I'm gone. That is a sad way at looking at life as well as at relationships.

I wish you all the best with how you look at life. I'm sure you will find that one special person that meets what you are looking for.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 158
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/1/2015 4:50:31 PM

I always read it that, nothing serious until the right one comes along


Ding. Ding. We have a winner. Too many people here have the attitude that if they go on a date, and the person isn't immediately The Perfect One/their knight in shining armor/their Princess Leia, they were somehow robbed of the opportunity to live happily ever after with their fantasy image, and their misery is the other person's fault. They don't understand the concept that Mr./Miss Fantasy Image is not always waiting in the wings for them to show up, so it's not a crime to date Mr./Miss Not So Perfect until Mr./Miss More Perfect shows up.

There are a lot of testimonies here from people who said they weren't out looking for something serious, but it happened anyway, and found the love of their life. They didn't feel the need to wear a Green Beret or Navy Seal outfit with night vision goggles, drones, and tracking devices to find The One.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 159
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/1/2015 5:40:07 PM
^^^
Ya know, how many would honestly tell someone they've settled on them for now but never foreva?

Humans are a nefarious bunch...
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 160
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/1/2015 5:57:12 PM
Serious or not serious? When I meet a new person I have no idea what I'm looking for with them, or rather if I'm looking for anything with them. They may be a great catch or a hot mess. I'll keep getting to know them and will see how I feel. Conversation is our friend!
 ThePig0fTheOpera
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 161
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 12:34:18 AM

"If I don't get what "I" want within a certain amount of time" I'm gone. That is a sad way at looking at life as well as at relationships.


(sigh)

Do you realize you have already admitted to being this way yourself? And pssst, guess what?

There's nothing wrong with it. Stop fighting it.
 SunKist_Gal
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 162
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 7:37:54 AM
Pig is right...We all want what we want.
I am not hanging around with some guy that doesn't "desire" me and I would not do that to a man either.
I don't set a time limit on when I will sleep with a man but I can tell you, I know if I want to within a few dates.
If I don't have those feelings....it's not meant to be.....simple.
And vise versa....if a man holds me off at arm length too long...there's something wrong....imo.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 163
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 8:23:17 AM

There is more to a relationship than just saying, "If I don't get what "I" want within a certain amount of time" I'm gone. That is a sad way at looking at life as well as at relationships.


Of course there is more to a relationship than getting what you want.
But who starts a relationship with someone who is either incapable or unwilling to give you
what you want?
People decide what they want or need and go from there.

I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who didn't want me or thought he needed months
or years to see if he might change his mind.

Ain't nobody got time for that.
 ThePig0fTheOpera
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 164
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 8:47:01 AM


Of course there is more to a relationship than getting what you want.
But who starts a relationship with someone who is either incapable or unwilling to give you
what you want?


Exactly. She continuously brings up the fact that she waited 2 years for sex as some sort of rebuttal to my point, but the fact of the matter is, she waited that long because she chose to, obviously.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 165
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 8:56:08 AM
"there's nothing wrong with it. Stop fighting (for) it".

>>>yannow, just as an observation, pigster...you have your way of doing things, that's cool, you should be comfortable to have made that choice. And yet....you will take up some bandwidth defending it against other people who do what works for them.

everyone's different, everyone wants different things. That's cool. but sometimes you seem a little defensive about doing things the way that works for you. like deep down you might not be so comfortable with them, or comfortable with how they may appear to others.

not that i'm saying you're right, wrong, or indifferent. Just pointing out, its an issue you'll go on and on about. i don't know how much you might personally enjoy being introspective about your own self, but should you ever be in the mood to waste an hour or three wondering endlessly about some issue in this universe, you might just consider why this is such a thorn in your own side. why it really strikes a chord inside you. why you might even get a bit defensive about it, if indeed you do.

or you can waste that time doing something productive :) i'm sure there are friends here who can tell you i'm way off base or I might have a point, which is why I posted this publically rather than send it privately. i'm not saying its some massive character flaw or that figuring it out will forever change your life...i'm just saying, some people will seem at times to take then time to argue a similar point with someone.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 166
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:01:37 AM
I'm personally spending a lot of time organizing my USB and HDMI cables.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 167
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:05:03 AM
I'm personally spending a lot of time organizing my USB and HDMI cables.

Call up, ring once, hang up the phone
To let me know you made it home
Don't want nothing to be wrong with part-time lover
If she's with me I'll blink the lights
To let you know tonight's the night
For me and you, my part-time lover

We are undercover passion on the run
Chasing love up against the sun
We are strangers by day, lovers by night
Knowing it's so wrong, but feeling so right
 ThePig0fTheOpera
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 168
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:18:39 AM


>>>yannow, just as an observation, pigster...you have your way of doing things, that's cool, you should be comfortable to have made that choice. And yet....you will take up some bandwidth defending it against other people who do what works for them.


I am all for people doing what works for them, whether I agree with it or not, but my bottom line all along has been that if one isn't receiving what's important to them early on, they're going to inevitably bail.

She has come back with responses that have only proven my point, and brought the fact that she waited for 2 years to have sex as some form of rebuttal, and it simply made no sense because it was obviously not against her will.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the choices she's making in life. I'm just unclear on what the hell she's disagreeing with.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 169
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 10:29:09 AM

letitialegrande
really? You enjoyed a woman who didn't want intercourse? S he had some traumatic hang up with that as it is not natural. I am assuming you meant she was good at oral etc. I don't get that it was the best three months of your life. Given that comment you do sound kind of suited. Mutual hang ups??



Intercourse was not painful for her, nor unpleasant. She just preferred other things.

I myself enjoy intercourse. And many other things. She was willing to go "just about anywhere", and we did. One hell of a lot of fun. A beautiful woman with an open mind, a willingness to explore, and a great capacity for enjoying herself -- what's not to like?
 SunKist_Gal
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 170
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 2:04:46 PM
Yep....Different strokes for different folks.
I've read and seen shows where people get turned on by all sorts of "strange or peculiar" things.
Read a playboy article one time, where a guy enjoyed masturbating into a piece of pizza.
OR....How about the people who like to dress as babies and wear diapers...even do their bowel movements in them....for their S.O. to change.
Yet in another story a guy made love to his car...to me just weird or icky....not anyone I would want to be involved with.....I pray they find each other....seriously!
Scares the hell out of me....call me vanilla, normal, closed minded all you want....some people are just icky!!!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 171
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 2:25:07 PM
She posted pages ago that the two people would be on the same page. You’ve been slamming, using profanity and mocking her for pages, like you used to do to rockin-trucker.

And when Ouija posted:
People are entitled to set their sexual comfort boundaries - they ought not to be mocked because of it.


You posted back:
By the same token, I suppose the cheap skate who wants to protect his wallet by not taking the woman out on a date for 2-3 months, so he'll have the "comfort" of knowing he's not being used for money shouldn't be mocked either, yes?


NO ONE said she would withhold sex until he spends X amount of money on her. Apparently you’ve been burned for date money with no return on investment, despite claiming to…what did you say…..you “pursue better.”

She doesn’t have to agree with you!
 ThePig0fTheOpera
Joined: 10/23/2015
Msg: 172
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 2:38:51 PM


NO ONE said she would withhold sex until he spends X amount of money on her


You are correct. NO ONE said she would. Including me. So, what the hell are you talking about?


Apparently you’ve been burned for date money with no return on investment


Apparently, you are wrong.



She doesn’t have to agree with you!


Holy shit. I never said she did. I am going to try this yet again. My point has been that if someone is not what getting what they want early on, they are not going to stick around. She came back with the her story of how she waited two years for sex.

GREAT!! But it wasn't against her will. It was what she wanted. So, that does not serve as an example of her sticking around despite not getting what she wanted.


You’ve been slamming, using profanity and mocking her for pages, like you used to do to rockin-trucker.


Oh, please. Spare me the melodramatics. This isn't even remotely comparable, and I've said nothing out of line to her. Not to mention, that meathead deserved every bit of it.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 173
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 4:50:23 PM
Right, she doesn’t have to agree with you. That’s why you have challenged her every post on this thread.


By the same token, I suppose the cheap skate who wants to protect his wallet by not taking the woman out on a date for 2-3 months, so he'll have the "comfort" of knowing he's not being used for money shouldn't be mocked either, yes?


Is this not about withholding sex for the guy’s cash???? This has some other hidden meaning?

Her point was that the man and the woman would be on the same page, in agreement, wanting the same thing, and caring about each other. NOT that she would want one thing and he wants another.

You’re arguing against what she wants with what you want and called any man who wants what she wants a “f*cking idiot.” That IS out of line.


But it wasn't against her will. It was what she wanted.


Holy sh!t yourself. She didn’t say it was against her will. Too bad you don’t pay as much attention to what she HAS said.

Oh you’re hounding her the exact same way you did with rockin-trucker, you won't let it go!
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 174
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 5:34:04 PM

Exactly. She continuously brings up the fact that she waited 2 years for sex as some sort of rebuttal to my point, but the fact of the matter is, she waited that long because she chose to, obviously.

Actually, I never said I waited two years for sex.

My point is that I am willing to give the other person time to get to know me and me him. I'm in no rush to have sex with someone till 'we' are both ready. I don't put a time limit on anything with another person. Things will move along at their own pace for both of us. That is my thoughts about relationships. Be that long term or just friends. It is all about getting to know the other person.

If others want to put a time limit on what "THEY" want from the other person that is their right. It isn't my place to tell them they are wrong. Just like it isn't someone else's place to tell me I have to rush into things with a guy.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 175
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 5:53:08 PM
Wednsday- But WHY???^^^
People sometimes disagree on these forums.
It's a public forum.
Report and delete everyone who disagrees with you and soon the forums will be NO more.
I don't always agree with him, but he has a right to say what he thinks, just as much as YOU do. :(
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