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 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 176
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men and wanting nothing seriousPage 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

His not there anymore Hun ^^^^vinegar had him deleted.

Really? I wasn't being bothered by his responses actually. LOL

I was also going to say that I guess for me, the real answer would be, that I don't put myself first to begin with. I put the other person first. Always have, always will. Perhaps that is what was confusing him. Or perhaps his question was confusing me since I would never say that "if 'I' don't get what I want in a certain amount of time I would bail". I could never be that way. I'm more of the mind that I worry that the other person may not be comfortable with a situation. I take things in stride and want to make sure the other person is happy most of all. My wants and desires will come after we get to know each other and I'm in no rush.

I see that you guys were sticking up for me against him and I thank you all for that. I really didn't need it. He's just like a bully in school.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 177
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 6:15:47 PM
2whiteangoras- But, what did he do that was bullying?
I must have missed it?
I agree with SOME of what you are saying, some, not so much.
"If I don't get what I want in a certain amount of time, I bail".
That's NOT the best way to go about things, so I'm with you there.
Thinking about how the other person feels, again, with you.
Why DON'T you put yourself first?
That's NOT selfish, who knows your needs and wants better than YOU do?
Matches DON'T have to be looked at as a contest.
BOTH people can be happy.
Your wants and dreams MATTER, from the start, as do theirs.
You don't have to give up who you are to make someone else happy.
If you do, it's doomed from the start.
Who was it that said there is NO black and white, but shades of grey? (which I also agree with, btw)
YOU did, that's who.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 178
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 6:28:35 PM
Wednsday- WHAT are you talking about???
As far as I know, I've yet to respond to YOU. (other than now)
What was your OTHER name, before YOU got deleted?
I do NOT report people for what they say here.
If someone did, it wan't me.
In all the time I've been here, I've reported ONE person, for a message they sent me that I got in my inbox.
I've NEVER reported anything said in the forums.
I either argue back, or bow out when I feel it isn't worth it any more.
Deleting someone is a cowards move.
Most of my messages are positive.
Maybe I'm STILL here, under the same screen name I've ALWAYS had, BECAUSE I contribute, mostly, positively?
Reporting people all of the time has it's down side, like drawing attention to YOUR posts and then having to create a NEW identity, when someone else reports YOU, as you would seem to know.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 179
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 7:56:25 PM
wednsday- "bama she bullies everyone if you disagree with her, you get deleted."
YOU said that.
I was only replying to what YOU said.
"read posts before commenting", ......................
INDEED, read your OWN posts. :D
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 10/8/2015
Msg: 180
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 8:05:17 PM
Bama, she was referring to sunshine.

I just noticed pig and others were removed again. I am going to repeat what I just wrote in another thread:

I simply don't understand why people keep getting reported for having a difference of opinion. What's the point of having an open forum, if we can't debate civilly?

We shouldn't suppress people's right to express their opinions.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 181
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 8:33:59 PM
Ilove2laughtoo- Yes! ^^^^
I agree.
This is EXACTLY why I'm opposing getting people deleted.
I have been in some knock down, drag out arguments with people here.
But, they have a right to say what they are saying, just as I do.
I'm glad you agree.
I've been hurt, gotten mad, even had to log out to NOT say what came into my mind TO say.
BUT............I've NEVER flagged someones post for deletion, not on the forums and only ONCE in my personal inbox.
If I can dish it out, I can take it.
I wish people would realize this is a PUBLIC forum.
There were HOW many threads going, about POF being bought out, about THEM doing away with these forums?
WHY do SOME people keep deleting others, KNOWING that THEY want to have a say, as much as anyone else?
We might not always agree, other times we will.
THAT is the nature of an online forum.
"We shouldn't suppress people's right to express their opinions."
Right, 100%, right.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 182
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:43:53 PM

I just noticed pig and others were removed again. I am going to repeat what I just wrote in another thread:

I simply don't understand why people keep getting reported for having a difference of opinion. What's the point of having an open forum, if we can't debate civilly?

We shouldn't suppress people's right to express their opinions.


I'm as pro-1st Amendment as anybody, but I don't believe his removal had anything to do with what was going on within this thread.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 183
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:44:33 PM
This is why we can't have nice things.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 184
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 9:52:41 PM
Every time I post my opinion its twisted, misconstrued and I get attacked personally. I would never seek advice here.

"The only winning move is not to play." -WarGames (1983)
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 185
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 10:01:18 PM
Mayhaps its your perception of being attacked, and then rallying a defense against what is in actuality a differing opinion? As opposed to actually being attacked... Because being attacked is a fairly invasive process that involves a direct intent to harm.
 8inscrew
Joined: 11/17/2014
Msg: 186
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/3/2015 10:01:19 PM
And I thought I couldn't have nice things....
it's been over 11 years.

My soul lady just invited herself over for the weekend. From 9 hours away.
Thank my gods they bumped the speed limit up to 80.


Knock on wood.
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 187
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/4/2015 1:24:47 AM

bamagrl68 2whiteangoras- But, what did he do that was bullying?
I must have missed it?

I think that I used the wrong word. Confrontational perhaps?

Why DON'T you put yourself first?
That's NOT selfish, who knows your needs and wants better than YOU do?

Just the way I have always been. Of course I know my needs and wants. I just prefer putting them first. I will get what I need and want as the relationship grows. Though, I do thank you for your concern as I do know there are many women/men that feel they HAVE to put others first I don't feel that way. :)

I also don't look at it as a contest.

I quit giving up who I am a long time ago. Probably why I'm here. LOL I'm not really sure of how to word it.

And yes, I did say there is grey as well. That's why I don't have a problem looking at relationships/life the way I do. I'm very happy and comfortable with who I am. Of course I would enjoy being able to share that with another person and only time will tell. :)

It's fine to agree with some of what I say and not with other parts. I'm the same way. We are all individuals and we don't have to think exactly the same. I think life would be very boring if we did. LOL
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 188
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/5/2015 3:19:38 PM

Then we guess you'll just have to change it back after this experiment is done.....


This isnt an experiment, I really did decide to look for someone again.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 189
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/5/2015 5:13:30 PM
Oh grow up and quit with your conspiracy theories. I didn’t delete him or report him or anything else. Pig was having heavy “debates” with others on several threads. He hijacked a guy’s profile review to declare how worthless, etc. they are, insulting everyone who offers reviews. You might want to actually follow what’s going on before you spout off.
I have just as much right as anyone else to post MY opinion.

Edit


I'm as pro-1st Amendment as anybody, but I don't believe his removal had anything to do with what was going on within this thread.


Agree. He went on a posting rampage as if he was looking for trouble.

“Wednsday” has been trying to get my attention for days.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 190
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/6/2015 12:39:41 PM
2white, I'm not trying to pick on ya or anything, but I wanted to read thru all the bru-ha-ha that went on here...

Actually, I never said I waited two years for sex.

Actually, you pretty much did -- definitely in context:


Treating sex like a reward for being a "good little boy" is pretty damn sickening. How many women are going to stick around for 2-3 months if a man is denying her something *she* wants as some sort of "test"??
And to answer your question from my point of view? I waited 2 years. And I never saw anything as a test. It's just the way things were.

I agree it's not necessarily some sort of conscious 'test'. But if things drag on for months/years where one's not giving in to anything important (a level of intimacy and/or level of seriousness) but still wanting to stick around while holding it back -- they're either testing the waters way too long OR there was nothing to be had in the first place but the other person was fooling themselves that there could be.

So you waited 2 years to be serious in what way -- and what were you? Was it 'just' a guy friend, and how close? Anything non-platonic occur, and was that once-in-a-great-while or rather frequent throughout to make it more than just-friends? Etc etc. Your situation requires specifics, and less vagueness -- otherwise you or someone else can just change the definition on what the situation and what "it" was entirely for their own argument sake. One can change the story a lot, in terms of what one went thru, etc. In this case, the devil's in the details and in more than just mere details that's not offered! :)
 sailinges
Joined: 11/3/2015
Msg: 191
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/6/2015 12:41:59 PM
This deletion stuff is interesting. Even alligators have more integrity.
Case in point. Tonya Harding was not up to the competition and so tried to take out Nancy Kerrigan's knees.
Did any male basketball player ever try to take out Michael Jordan's knees his entire career? Even once?
 sailinges
Joined: 11/3/2015
Msg: 192
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/6/2015 12:45:30 PM

I simply don't understand why people keep getting reported for having a difference of opinion. What's the point of having an open forum, if we can't debate civilly?

We shouldn't suppress people's right to express their opinions.


I agree, but if you are a loser, you do worse . . . ad hominem attacks come to mind.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 193
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/6/2015 5:25:46 PM
Tonya Harding was a nasty piece of work and that sort of person comes in both sexes. Just citing one example proves nothing. i.e. Michael Jordan. I am sure plenty of male competitors have tried to sabotage others or worse.
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 194
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/6/2015 9:27:39 PM

So you waited 2 years to be serious in what way -- and what were you? Was it 'just' a guy friend, and how close? Anything non-platonic occur, and was that once-in-a-great-while or rather frequent throughout to make it more than just-friends? Etc etc. Your situation requires specifics, and less vagueness -- otherwise you or someone else can just change the definition on what the situation and what "it" was entirely for their own argument sake. One can change the story a lot, in terms of what one went thru, etc. In this case, the devil's in the details and in more than just mere details that's not offered! :)

I was being vague because I'm not telling strangers ALL the details. That's personal. And if you look at my statements, I never ACTUALLY said in print that I waited 2 years for sex. That was just that one guys interpretation of what I said. He was the one that said I waited 2 years for sex. Not I.


How many women are going to stick around for 2-3 months if a man is denying her something *she* wants as some sort of "test"??

This is what "SHE WANTS". Not necessarily meaning she is looking ONLY for sex. This thread was about "men and wanting nothing serious" which actually turned out about men/women not sticking around if they didn't get sex in the first few dates to a few months. I waited 2 years for something 'else'. It never came but that is ok. I WAS looking for something but I didn't give up in the first few months. I just wanted to show that to some women (well to me any way), don't know about men since I'm not one, that from MY point of few, any one can wait a lot longer for something if THEY want to.

Men and women can think for themselves and they can wait/not wait depending on their own feelings and views.

I think it all boils down to the individual. How strong is that feeling of getting what he/she wants and how long are THEY willing to wait for it. There is no right nor wrong answer. Everyone on here can debate till the end of time and there will still be so many answers.

For me: Depends on what I am looking for and how long am 'I' willing to wait for it. That's all I can answer to. I can't speak for others. As I said, the longest I have waited for something 'I' wanted from a guy was 2 years. (not sex)

And any guy wanting something from me before 'I' am ready is NOT the right guy for me. I may do something on the second date, maybe not. But when I feel the time is right for 'ME' for anything pertaining to the relationship then he will definitely know.

If you or anyone else feel what I have said here is 'vague' I can't help how you/they view my point of view. It's mine and this is the clearest I can be.

norwegianguy456 And no, I don't feel you are 'picking' on me. LOL
 8inscrew
Joined: 11/17/2014
Msg: 195
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/8/2015 11:16:32 AM
Well, my lady and her wolf just left, after about 80 hours of catching up...

Not sure how, but she looked like she was still 20. If anything... she is an 11 1/2 now.
We picked up like we had never set down.
Hours and hours of loving her... how did I forget what that is like?

Neither one of us has been looking for serious, but maybe now we are.
Maybe now we are ready? She has woken a sleeping giant.. like no one ever has.
Love makes little sense to me. But she makes perfect sense.

Is waiting 18 years serious enough?
Does that even happen? We must be strange...

Well, I'm strange. She is wonder woman.

Oh.. she asked me to break a high handed stud, to keep me busy and exhausted.
I think that is a damn fine idea... can't wait till spring roundup.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 196
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/8/2015 11:46:49 AM

Here is my take on the "intent" choices.

What I would mean if I had any desire to date:
I'm looking for casual dating / no commitment - Doesn't want a relationship of any kind, just a hump and dump.
I want to date but nothing serious - This would be seeking friendship, no romantic demands (possibly a FWB).
I want a relationship - For me, this would be a romantic relationship (where romantic doesn't mean pandering to the woman's ego).
I am putting in serious effort to find someone - Sounds like I am needy and will pander/kowtow to women.
I am serious and I want to find someone to marry - Somebody please shoot me!

What women's intent selections say to me (woman speaking):
I'm looking for casual dating / no commitment - I want you to pay for my meals and entertainment.
I want to date but nothing serious - I want you to pay for my meals and entertainment, and I may have sex with you if I find you attractive.
I want a relationship - I want you to pay for my meals, entertainment and travel, and I want you to buy gifts for me. You must pander to my ego, tell me I am beautiful and that you can't live without me. I will keep you on an invisible leash. I will have sex with you if you do all of this.
I am putting in serious effort to find someone - The same as I want a relationship, but I am needy too.
I am serious and I want to find someone to marry - I want you to pay for my meals, entertainment and travel, and I want you to buy expensive gifts for me (including cars and a house). You must pander to my ego, tell me I am beautiful and that you can't live without me. I will keep you on an invisible leash complete with choke collar and you will be my beast of burden. I will tell you that I will have sex with you if you do all of this. If you fail to do any of this, I will be entitled to a minimum of 50 percent of everything that you own, and I will turn you into a criminal even though you have committed no crime.



My Gaydar just went off like a 5 alarm fire bell.
 8inscrew
Joined: 11/17/2014
Msg: 197
men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/8/2015 5:03:00 PM
You are only one lick/taste away from from being gay, yourself.

Imagine a real 5 alarm banger...
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 198
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/8/2015 8:14:29 PM
omg ! I'm not even sure how to go about, approaching the serious. Maybe I'm " unlucky at love " as that old song refers too, col (chuckle out loud ) After being spoken for, from age 17 to 52 ~ holy moly, how to I approach a women to " just be friends " .... it's been quite an f-in while. Seriousness has its super ultra cool benefits & its super cool learning experiences. So letsyou and I ( male & female ) not give up, talk to one another ~ ya just never know ):
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 199
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/8/2015 9:56:48 PM
Wow, you actually made a relationship at 17 work all the way till 52. I don't know whether to congratulate you, or feel sorry for you lol.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 200
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men and wanting nothing serious
Posted: 11/11/2015 6:42:31 AM

I was being vague because I'm not telling strangers ALL the details. That's personal.

It's not like you're lacking ALL the details -- and nobody asked for that... but my point is, which I'm sure wasn't intentional but still an important concept that shouldn't be brushed over, is that it was sketchy. A sketch -- could be anything. Meaning it bears no weight in any argument/debate, as it doesn't have enough substance -- for you say, personal reasons.

And if you look at my statements, I never ACTUALLY said in print that I waited 2 years for sex.

Oh I did -- in fact I outlined it pretty clear in my previous post. That's what made me say something -- that you pretty much did, in context. And if you didn't and it was a miscomm, you have to draw out "details" (or what unfolded & how/why/etc) -- otherwise, it's retracted or "stricken from the record" so to speak. Again:


Treating sex like a reward for being a "good little boy" is pretty damn sickening. How many women are going to stick around for 2-3 months if a man is denying her something *she* wants as some sort of "test"??
And to answer your question from my point of view? I waited 2 years. And I never saw anything as a test. It's just the way things were.

Again, in that context, you were referring to sex. Not being a stickler, but it's more of your response that caused confusion, not his interpretation -- just saying. But that's neither here nor there at the end of the day, because Yes, it is about being serious. And obviously if there not even sex, as fully grown adults, it isn't at any notable level of seriousness. But yes, you can have sex but still not any solidified seriousness. That's just a necessary ingredient, but...

I waited 2 years for something 'else'. It never came but that is ok. I WAS looking for something but I didn't give up in the first few months. I just wanted to show that to some women (well to me any way), don't know about men since I'm not one, that from MY point of few, any one can wait a lot longer for something if THEY want to.

... what WAS missing then? Nobody's asking you to say his name for crying out loud. Or yours either! In fact, that's the great thing about the forums... it's actually the other way around. It's stuff you wouldn't want to tell ones close to cause social drama about friends/family/ex's/etc -- but can here. It's more private here than in a local setting with local gossip as a threat.

Some people will "wait" to open themselves up with someone else / get to a certain level of seriousness (like sex, going steady, meeting the kids, going to family gatherings, moving in together, ring-shopping, etc). And some people will "wait" and hold out for the other person to open themselves up on something / get to a certain level of seriousness.

Sometimes said people are not working in their own best interest. Sometimes they're being a complete idiot -- to themselves and/or the other person. Sometimes they're doing the wise thing. There definitely CAN be a right or wrong in the realm of wise / unwise, stupid / smart. Sometimes there won't be a right or wrong, wise or unwise, stupid or smart way about a situation at the time. Everything and every situation isn't a matter of mere taste where there "is no right or wrong decision".
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