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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?      Home login  
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 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 51
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

It depends who's saying it. If you like the man's appearance, body language, facial expressions and tone of voice, he can say pretty much anything and it will get a good response.


Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I don't necessarily disagree. But the the thread was cited as evidence that complimenting a woman, in a supermarket, on some aspect of her physical appearance is "score city", when the responses in that thread would indicate exactly the opposite.
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 12/30/2015 4:53:53 PM

As someone else said maybe you should try practising talking to random people when you're out and about. Someone in the supermarket you're not attracted to, whoever you happen to sit next to at the bus stop, the bus driver, someone who serves you at a cafe, a random person you pass in the park walking their dog. Even if you just make a random comment about something or say "morning" and don't get much of a response, these are all harmless interactions, and will help you to realise it's not a big deal and you will probably enjoy it.

If you do talk to the woman in the supermarket you don't have to come on to her, just talk to her as if she's one of the other types of people I mentioned. Then you're just a friendly stranger making a harmless comment about carrots or whatever, then going about his shopping. If you see her in there regularly then next time you can say hi, or something else, then just see what happens and try not to worry about it. You might even meet someone more interesting in your practice interactions.

This is some of the best advice that I've seen on this subject.

^ coma white & chromis1 :

For the most part, I'd agree that you can't directly comment on something like someone's body when you first speak to them, whether you're hot and sexy or not. But what I think that coma_white is saying, which I also agree with, is that there are still atmospheres when someone can get away with this, or people who can come across successfully with this. One might not think so, when reflecting on it, but upon practice...real life...so many other factors come into play concerning that atmosphere, timing, vocal inflection, body language, and facial expressions.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 53
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 12/30/2015 6:16:19 PM

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I don't necessarily disagree. But the the thread was cited as evidence that complimenting a woman, in a supermarket, on some aspect of her physical appearance is "score city", when the responses in that thread would indicate exactly the opposite.


I think trying to get dates anywhere during the day is a bit harder than meeting women at clubs where everyone is feeling talkative and drinking. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter what you say. An opener can just be "hello". Some people have success just smiling at someone and letting them speak first. A lot of men prefer the "day game" to the "night game" and have success with it. The main objective is to be someone that people react to instead of reacting to people. When you walk up to a woman, you don't want to be reacting to her and thinking "oh, is this cool?" because then you're putting her in charge and you're reacting to her.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 54
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 12/31/2015 6:13:08 AM
I don't think supermarkets are the best of places to start chatting women up. Most people are are too busy thinking about what you need to buy unless of course you meet someone you know. Its the same as in the high street, unless you have already met there isn't much point, people are on the move and have things to do and aren't going to stop that to talk to a complete stranger.

The main purpose of bars, cafes and clubs is to meet people. Women may not go there to get chatted up but think women would have less of a problem with it at least. 'Sorry I have a boyfriend' (which is I imagine is the most common) or 'Thanks but I'm not interested' is preferable to 'Excuse me, I haven't got time, I'm too busy shopping'.

I understand why the question was asked thou. The whole dating game can sound complicated even if it doesn't have to. I assume this applies to women aswell as men although women don't generally do the asking.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 55
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 12/31/2015 9:38:01 AM
If you are comfortable, it might be ok. If you chat with people, be light hearted about it, and nobody really bats an eye. Or, if they do, move on, no big deal. In general I don't initiate such, unless some wild mood has overtaken me, probably boredom. It has been known to happen and I comment on something going around us. Most folks share a laugh and that's that, or I've had pleasant small talk.
I happened to be in a health food store with seating and this guy chatted with me and it was just friendly and we had a chat about traditional foods from our cultures. Whenever people talk to me, unless they are tongue tied, it's pretty normal. Sometimes women will ask me how to cook something I'm picking up and I find this kind of thing nice in a communal vibe type of way.
If a person wanted to stay in touch, an email is ok, but generally asking for a date is less comfortable. I don't respond favorably to that, no matter what they look like,( yes, really) but might follow their social media. I am not really into that much, but I get bored online and might look at that. It's a start, who knows...

I think the key is you always talk to them a bit first, then might keep in touch in some innocuous way, and take it in stages later. To just go up to someone and ask for their number rather quickly just isn't likely to be successful, imo.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 56
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 12/31/2015 10:47:25 AM
If a sweet and well-built man can make my mundane grocery trip more exciting...I am all ears!
My typical Friday night is to socialize with other triathlon ladies at a running store and then go grocery shopping.
If a nice guy says "Hello" along the way, who am I to complain?
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 12/31/2015 12:24:12 PM
When the local homeless shelter serves their free lunch or dinner, that's where I go to chat up women...
 strawberryfirecracker
Joined: 3/31/2015
Msg: 58
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/1/2016 3:25:17 PM
It definitely doesn't work. I'm with you. I don't believe it at all.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 59
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/1/2016 5:00:53 PM

It definitely doesn't work. I'm with you. I don't believe it at all.


There is evidence that men and women can be successful in meeting each other and getting phone numbers in places like super markets and coffee shops during the day. If a person knows what they're doing, it doesn't matter what time of day or what the venue is.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 60
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/1/2016 6:49:42 PM
" If a person knows what they're doing..."

It's not just a case of a person knowing what they're doing. It's also a case of who they are doing. Possibly the majority of the women, or at least a high percentage, in a supermarket are taken. A lot of women do the grocery shopping without their spouse/boyfriend/significant other, because a lot of guys get bored to death walking up and down every aisle and checking out every item the store sells. A guy's version of shopping is going to a store for specific items, go directly to the location and pick up the items, and go to the check out. Any shopping trip taking more than 10 minutes from the time entering the store to the time leaving the store is considered time wasted. And women might shop alone because of working different shifts than their SO. But other than seeing an engagement ring and/or wedding band, there's no way of knowing who is truly single and available and who is not, and I'm not good at the guessing game.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 61
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/1/2016 7:15:35 PM


" If a person knows what they're doing..."

It's not just a case of a person knowing what they're doing. It's also a case of who they are doing. Possibly the majority of the women, or at least a high percentage, in a supermarket are taken. A lot of women do the grocery shopping without their spouse/boyfriend/significant other, because a lot of guys get bored to death walking up and down every aisle and checking out every item the store sells. A guy's version of shopping is going to a store for specific items, go directly to the location and pick up the items, and go to the check out. Any shopping trip taking more than 10 minutes from the time entering the store to the time leaving the store is considered time wasted. And women might shop alone because of working different shifts than their SO. But other than seeing an engagement ring and/or wedding band, there's no way of knowing who is truly single and available and who is not, and I'm not good at the guessing game.


We’re talking real life here, and real life is never that simple or that easy. You have to be able to read the signs. A lot of PUAs talk about body language, but it is a whole slew of things. The way they move, walk, how they hold their arms, whether they make eye contact, so many, many things.

I have been playing the game for an ungodly number of years, and I am still learning. But it is the greatest game ever invented, and more fun than anything else I have ever done in my entire life.

The average woman used to be very very good at this game, much better than the average man. But it seems to me that women, at least many of them, are losing their skills in this arena. Too many distractions? Everyone walking around with ear buds in and their eyes glued to the cell phone does make it much harder.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 62
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/2/2016 2:05:32 AM

It's not just a case of a person knowing what they're doing. It's also a case of who they are doing. Possibly the majority of the women, or at least a high percentage, in a supermarket are taken. A lot of women do the grocery shopping without their spouse/boyfriend/significant other, because a lot of guys get bored to death walking up and down every aisle and checking out every item the store sells. A guy's version of shopping is going to a store for specific items, go directly to the location and pick up the items, and go to the check out. Any shopping trip taking more than 10 minutes from the time entering the store to the time leaving the store is considered time wasted. And women might shop alone because of working different shifts than their SO. But other than seeing an engagement ring and/or wedding band, there's no way of knowing who is truly single and available and who is not, and I'm not good at the guessing game.


That could be said for women anywhere. The only way to know is to talk to people. It's not a waste of time if you find out the woman you're talking to is taken. At least you're warmed up for the next person you talk to. It's a numbers game no matter where you go.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 63
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/2/2016 2:21:43 PM
Why would you assume women grocery shopping are playing some kind of seduction “game” with you??


A lot of PUAs talk about body language, but it is a whole slew of things. The way they move, walk, how they hold their arms, whether they make eye contact, so many, many things.


Oh FFS….she is grocery shopping! She’s not on the make while choosing toilet paper and entertaining your ridiculous fantasies.

You can “read” how she holds her arms?? What do arms say? What if one is c0cked back in a fist? How about if she’s scratching her azz or picking her nose? Does that say, “I want you! Just let me dig out this nose boulder first…”

Does it matter if she’s facing northeast or southwest while wearing a black pokadot scrunchie in her hair? Gawd!


But it seems to me that women, at least many of them, are losing their skills in this arena.


Yeah it’s probably women who are losing it. SMH

However you could probably make a fortune selling this stuff to desperate gullible guys. :/
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 64
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/2/2016 9:51:20 PM
I went to the grocery store late this morning and there were as number of women there, but it didn't have the atmosphere of a pickup joint.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/2/2016 10:22:52 PM

Why would you assume women grocery shopping are playing some kind of seduction “game” with you??


He doesn't.


Oh FFS….she is grocery shopping! She’s not on the make while choosing toilet paper and entertaining your ridiculous fantasies.

You can “read” how she holds her arms?? What do arms say? What if one is c0cked back in a fist? How about if she’s scratching her azz or picking her nose? Does that say, “I want you! Just let me dig out this nose boulder first…”

Does it matter if she’s facing northeast or southwest while wearing a black pokadot scrunchie in her hair? Gawd!


Who cares what she's doing? People will always make excuses not to approach women. "Oh, well she's dancing with her friends. She probably has a boyfriend. I didn't wear my nice shirt tonight." I met a girl waiting in line at the mall. The whole point is to not be afraid of talking to strangers and being social. People should talk to the men and women around them if they want to get better at letting go and being social.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 66
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/3/2016 11:31:57 AM

SunshineGirl__
Oh FFS….she is grocery shopping! She’s not on the make while choosing toilet paper and entertaining your ridiculous fantasies.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed or something? You’re being very antagonistic for some reason.
But I will answer your question as if it were asked seriously, instead of you just trying to be the world’s greatest _____.

Some women are on the make, some aren’t. If she’s hurrying through the store, paying attention to nothing except her shopping list, then leave her alone. But … If she stops me and asks me to reach something down from a high shelf, then it’s time to evaluate and consider. Carefully.

If she’s wearing old sweats, and no makeup, then probably nothing happening there.

If she’s wearing a low cut casual “sun dress”, and leans over to look at something right in front of you …

If she’s wearing a short, loose, casual dress or skirt, and every man in the store is trying to figure out if she’s wearing shorts underneath that skirt, then yes, she just might be “on the make”.

These things happen, every day, every where. If you hurry through life with your attention focused on your shopping list, or your cell phone, you will never see them.

Me, I’m a people watcher. I like to watch people, observe them, watch their interactions. People are fascinating.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 67
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/3/2016 12:18:36 PM
^^^^^^ First hand experience, huh? :/
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/4/2016 11:40:43 AM
^^^ Take a beautiful woman, like KJ, above. One who is not only very attractive, but level headed, and friendly. Put her in the local supermarket, and I'll bet you a large sum of money, even odds, that I could engage her in a friendly conversation. No, not "pick her up" or "get a date" or even "get her phone number".

Just simply engage her in a short friendly conversation, and leave her with a positive impression of me. So that the next time we run into each other, she will remember, and be more likely to engage in conversation again.

A truly attractive woman (like KJ) is not going to fall out of the tree and hit you on the head. You're going to have to put in some effort, you can bet that many, many men want her, desire her, hit on her every day. You have to be willing to work for it, show some patience, put in the effort. The right woman will be worth it.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 69
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/4/2016 2:54:49 PM
I declare! Mr. Ohenry ....that was a very sweet post!

You're right about the friendly part....the attractive part...debatable. lol So....yes....I would chat with you at the grocery store. I, like you, just enjoy people and I am a believer that you never know who you may meet in the most ordinary or extraordinary circumstances.

Serendipity....keep your eyes and heart open. The right one is so very worth it. :D




****P.S......As far as falling out of trees? If I still climbed trees.....I can assure you....I do fall out of them. Only there was never anyone around to fall on. :/
And.....if Kj falls out of a tree in the forest and there is no one around to catch her or hear her....yes....she does make a sound.
Matter of fact......she swears worse than a drunken sailor! Haha haha,
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/4/2016 5:19:58 PM

Take a beautiful woman, like KJ, above. One who is not only very attractive, but level headed, and friendly. Put her in the local supermarket, and I'll bet you a large sum of money, even odds, that I could engage her in a friendly conversation. No, not "pick her up" or "get a date" or even "get her phone number".

That's it. That right there.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 71
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do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/5/2016 7:52:11 AM
I think OHenry started buttering up KJ with his statement - hopefully he paid for the butter at the checkout first. ;)

"Approaching" works as long as it's benign conversation. If you approach like a predator - with eyes only for her digits and such - especially if you lick your lips like a lion sizing up a gazelle - you're probably going to lose. People are usually decent at replying to comments about food items and the weather and such - but I don't know of anyone who appreciated a typical bar pickup line in the middle of the bread aisle. Your chances of conversation will be brief - kind of like the time spent talking to the checkout cashiers. At best you get a few sentences, so expecting a date from that is jumping the gun a bit. Multiple exposures is pretty much required to get your name to stick in their mind.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 72
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/5/2016 12:38:40 PM
I get the distinct impression from many of the replies here, that "most" think it's pretty much a losing proposition to approach a stranger ANYwhere and say ANYthing ... unless one or both parties are under the influence of a chemical of some kind.

IMO, that type of attitude is not going to help your cause whatsoever. Simply looking others in the eye and being sincere can go a long way.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 73
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/5/2016 1:06:57 PM
Well Mr. Slaffa...to be fair...being friendly and making lots of eye contact does have its' downside, too.

I get approached quite regularly by homeless individuals. :/

And....I usually don't have any money on me...so then I have to go on to explain that I have teenagers that can smell when I have cash and they always need money for this or that dire emergency leaving me pennyless. This leads to a 20 min convo about our individual woes in life which then makes me late to wherever I was going which leads to a lengthy explanation of my lateness. :/

So maybe don't make eye contact if you have to be somewhere or just run late all time like I do and convince yourself that everyone else is just early. :)


Seriously, just enjoy the moments and the people you are blessed to cross paths with. :D
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/5/2016 4:19:20 PM
Hey lady, you got a dollar you can spare? Maybe just some change then? "God Bless!"
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 75
do woman mind if you aproach them to say hi in a supermarket?
Posted: 1/6/2016 10:37:35 AM
Haha! Mr. Drinks. You are so very funny! (said with a smirk)

But for you dear, I could probably find some change at the bottom of my purse.

Oooh! Even better...

I have a 2 for 1 Dunkin Donuts coffee coupon. I'll let you have the free one. ***bats eyelashes*** :D
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