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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Cant do this on POF....      Home login  
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 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 51
Cant do this on POF....Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Wow, not only did you rip Eric apart and call him names he doesn't deserve, you totally misinterpreted his entire post.

You, sir, are not operating on all cylinders to make the stretch you made.

Also, when you cannot make a comment or post that does not somehow mention your ex wife, you have not done the work of moving on.
If you had, she would be the farthest thing from your mind...seems like she is in your thoughts a lot.

Get yourself balanced.
That was the forum equivalent of road rage.
 Brisco414
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 52
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 5:17:14 PM
SLAFFA:
"In "starting" a Relationship, TIMING is everything."

Yes it is.

Back in the day gas stations were called service stations. My dad owned one. My mom and her 5 year-old daughter rode a bus across the states to start a new life ...she wanted to see Hollywood. The drop off spot was my dad's station. They were married six weeks later. He was a weekend cowboy. She was a city girl. It worked out just fine for them.

Anything is possible.

I hope it works out for you OP but you were a lil harsh on Eric. Good luck to you!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 53
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 5:17:52 PM

I was 30 feet away when I asked her if she was ok.....then I asker HER if she wanted a hug.


Things are getting weirder by the post. You asked a stranger who is 30 feet away if she wants a hug (and she says yes)? I was assuming she was using the pump next to yours, since you were able to read her facial expression, and not having to go 30 feet to hug someone you don't know and she doesn't know you. I can't knock it if it worked for you. Good luck.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 54
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Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 6:07:11 PM
paladin2015

Yes I believe you, thousands wouldn't. What sort of a woman lets a stranger hug her twice???. Then go out to dinner somewhere and knowing nothing about you???. As for deleting off the site when you manage a second date, rather foolish. But hey it is your fantasy. lol!
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 55
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Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 7:06:59 PM
They live in the same neighborhood, hang out in the same places, have mutual friends. She recognized him.



Yes I believe you, thousands wouldn't. What sort of a woman lets a stranger hug her twice???. Then go out to dinner somewhere and knowing nothing about you???. As for deleting off the site when you manage a second date, rather foolish. But hey it is your fantasy. lol!
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 56
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 8:57:46 PM
Ok...if I misread erics post then I offer my humble apology....perhaps it's just the way he used the term "unorthadox approach"....as though I had somehow planned it, it was a premeditated approach or it was something I have ever even done before....serendipity is the correct term.....it just happened....it was organic...maybe even fate.....

But no I dont go around hitting on sad women at gas stations....sheesh......LOL


That was the forum equivalent of road rage.


Yes I took offense....based on the wording of the post....."glad to hear this unorthodox approach is working for you."

Now maybe you read that a different way....I didnt....I read it as it was written....

Unorthidox...meaning unusual...

And approach....speak to (someone) for the first time about something, typically with a proposal or request.

And it was nothing of the kind......sorry ...words have meanings....perhaps he used the wrong words to state his opinion....but the words he used offended me....and when you offend me...I will respond...
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 57
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 10:19:40 PM

paladin2015

Yes I believe you, thousands wouldn't. What sort of a woman lets a stranger hug her twice???. Then go out to dinner somewhere and knowing nothing about you???. As for deleting off the site when you manage a second date, rather foolish. But hey it is your fantasy. lol!


If you were dating a man IRL...would you be ok with him being on a dating site and talking to other women....as a back up plan in case you didnt work out?

I seriously doubt it.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 58
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Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 10:26:50 PM
So it is true that the woman knew you already? I am confused. If so, the scenario makes more sense.

If I were dating a man and it was only the second or third date he can do what he likes. I would also expect the same attitude from him. We are entitled to have our options open. You seem very keen very soon and I would be a little careful as others have suggested.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 59
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/22/2015 10:43:22 PM

So it is true that the woman knew you already?


Nope....said quite plainly...never met her before but it turns out we have mutual friends....


I am confused.


Clearly.


If so, the scenario makes more sense.


Senario: a written outline of a movie, novel, or stage work giving details of the plot and individual scenes

Sorry...this is real life....and the best term offered so far is serendipity

Which means :the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.


If I were dating a man and it was only the second or third date he can do what he likes.


Then dont complain later and hate all men when he dumps you cuz a hottie messaged him on POF.


I would also expect the same attitude from him.


Then you are setting yourself up for failure by refusing to set a standard......you are teaching him how to treat you...and he will do exactly that...


We are entitled to have our options open.


Sorry...I'm not an option and will never be an option...

:a thing that is or may be chosen

you either want to be with me or you dont.


If he is keeping his options open.....red flag.....PLAYER.......if you are keeping your options open.....see ya....go for the other option....good luck with that.


You seem very keen very soon and I would be a little careful as others have suggested.


Nope...I have absolutely ZERO expectations....I am simply enjoying the moment and seeing where this might lead...but if I am exploring a potential realtionship with a women....why would I keep a profile on a dating site?

I dont get it.......a fall back position is a plan for failure......

In poker the term is called "all in"....sometimes you win...sometimes you lose....but many will fold instead.....and never know what they might have won had they stayed or called.

I refuse to start a relationship by hedging my bets......and BTW...isnt that one of the thing women complain about all the time?...men with a fear of commitment?

I have no such fear......it aint happening yet...but if it does...I certainly wont fear it and bolt......like those who like to keep their options open....
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 60
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 1:58:20 AM

but if I am exploring a potential realtionship with a women....why would I keep a profile on a dating site?

I dont get it.......a fall back position is a plan for failure......
Because your inbox is not flooded with offers and you can make the choice not to search and/or send messages.

You also have the choice of hiding your profile so that you're essentially invisible.
In no way is it a fallback or planning for failure.

Right now you're walking on clouds because a woman responded to your advance and accepted a date.
You aren't in a relationship.
Might turn into nothing.

I noticed you, yet again, mentioned the ex wife in another thread.
(No, I'm not following you; it's a thread that I've been participating in.)
You're not over her if you feel the need to repeatedly talk about her here.
She is occupying a lot of space in your brain.
I would bet that you're making mental comparisons between her and this new woman...
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 61
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:54:16 AM

Then dont complain later and hate all men when he dumps you cuz a hottie messaged him on POF.


Yep, that happens everyday doesn't it. :/


Sorry...I'm not an option and will never be an option...


Unless I've missed something you haven't even been a date yet?


you either want to be with me or you dont.


I guess that's what the date(s) are to determine?


If he is keeping his options open.....red flag.....PLAYER.......if you are keeping your options open.....see ya....go for the other option....good luck with that.


Not deleting a pof account on a way to a first or second date hardly screams..." I'm a player "....just sayin.


I refuse to start a relationship by hedging my bets.


Have you picked a honeymoon destination? You have'nt even been on a date yet, let alone establish a relationship.

I think you should let her read your posts in this thread so she can see just how sincere you are about your commitment to this new relationship ;)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 62
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Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 6:50:00 AM
Brother Paladin,

You were a little rough on Summit here whose message was intended to be positive with a little humor. Eric is one of the Best Souls here.


You know what to do now.

Congratulations and Bestes!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 63
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Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 9:20:09 AM
Oh, yeah. When you are over 50 you really want to be dating multiple women. Its just do much fun!

And there are so many opportunities! The phone never stops ringing! And dating is just so much fun, especially after you have spent years in a close and loving relationship.

I mean, who would not want to spend their time and considerable amounts of money running around with woman after woman, living with the uncertainty as to whether you will ever see one of them again, constantly sleeping (or not) in some place on the other side of the city, coming home on a cold Winter's night at way past your bed time, carefully controlling your conversation to keep your other encounters secret. Its a marvelous life.

I really don't know why anybody settles down with one person who you get along with, build a life with, form stable relationships with, don't have to worry about STDs with, sits beside you holding hands with you in the movies, helps you with family related events, and warms your common bed at night.

Good grief!
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 64
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 11:05:58 AM
Give it a rest Mrs Freud.....and you owe me $20....heh heh
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 65
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 11:19:22 AM
PS that was for tater and again...sorry Eric....and US Virgin Islands Crook




Lol
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 66
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 11:28:30 AM
I can see good points and bad points in this situation-but what sitiation DOESN'T have both good and bad points.That being said, right now I'm just going to say that I sincerely wish this turns out well for you, paladin.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 67
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 11:42:23 AM
crookcatcher- I've done it, not at a gas station though.
I was in line at the grocery store and the clerk looked like something was wrong. It's hard to explain, it's one of those things that you had to be there, but she looked like she might cry, any second, she wouldn't make eye contact.
I thought about not saying anything, who knows how someone might react, but I couldn't resist and asked her if she was ok.
Turns out, she was two hours past getting off and told me she had to be at her child's day care in 1 hour or they were going to make her pay extra and that was the second time that week it had happened.
That's when I did it, I just said "Can I give you a hug?" She couldn't even answer, she just nodded yes and I gave her a hug. She finally managed to say thank you.
Thankfully for everyone, the manager came up and put up her closed sign, so I'm hoping she made it to the daycare on time.
You never know the difference a simple hug can make and I'll never regret what I did. :)
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 68
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 11:54:02 AM

You never know the difference a simple hug can make and I'll never regret what I did. :)


Some of our greatest moments often catch us unaware, beautifully wrapped in what others consider a small one. :)
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 69
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Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 12:56:43 PM

That was the forum equivalent of road rage.



Yes I took offense....based on the wording of the post....."glad to hear this unorthodox approach is working for you."

Now maybe you read that a different way....I didnt....I read it as it was written....

Unorthidox...meaning unusual...

And approach....speak to (someone) for the first time about something, typically with a proposal or request.

And it was nothing of the kind......sorry ...words have meanings....perhaps he used the wrong words to state his opinion....but the words he used offended me....and when you offend me...I will respond...


You can Take all the Offense You want to.....
What Eric posted is exactly Right.....
What you did, what happened was a.........

Unorthodox Approach......

1.) It was Unusual!
2.) You spoke to someone for the first time, & made a Proposal or Request....
3.) The U/A doesn't have to be Premeditated, to be a U/A.....

You may not like having this pointed out to You.... But, that Facts are in Evidence, By Your Own Words.....
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 70
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 1:41:44 PM
I figure most of the stuff posted on these forums is made up anyway,
so I find this totally believable in POF world.

Lots of things I can see that are weird, but again who cares.
But really...who puts a chicken in the oven and then goes out for
a drink at 8?
A turkey maybe...but a chicken?

Good luck on your date.
Hope you don't mind eating at 10 every night.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 71
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 2:27:14 PM

bamagrl68:
I was in line at the grocery store and the clerk looked like something was wrong. It's hard to explain, it's one of those things that you had to be there,...


Would you have noticed that from 30 feet away, like the OP claims he did, and asked her, from that distance, if she wants a hug, providing she wasn't serving customers at the time? There's a bit of a difference from a middle aged woman giving a girl a motherly hug, and a 50 something guy giving a 40 year old woman a hug. And did you know at that time if you both knew some of the same people? Before going on a date, the OP said they had mutual friends. Who discusses who their friends are, when talking to a stranger for the first time, and provide names?
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 72
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 2:45:56 PM
^^^^ who hugs strangers? :/

OP you are waaaaay too sensitive, imagining the worst of people. Strawberry just told Leticia you guys already knew each other. No need to freak out over nothing. “Unorthodox” does mean different, and you DID “approach” a woman you did not know, offering a hug; many people would see that as “different.” What difference does it make what your original motivation supposedly was? “Scenario” doesn’t have to mean fiction.
Gawd! unbunch your undies.

It does seem odd that you have mutual friends, live in the same neighborhood but have never met before. :/

It’s obvious you expect this to be your happily ever after, and if anyone suggests otherwise, or uses a word you don’t approve of, you’re gonna go on a 20 paragraph rant, calling people names and attacking…..not cool.


But really...who puts a chicken in the oven and then goes out for
a drink at 8?


Yeah, I thought that was weird, too.

Hey! OP! It’s 5:45 pm Friday….must be getting time for your wedding! I mean date. :D
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 73
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 3:56:44 PM
maleman999- I know there is a difference in my story and the OPs.
However, I went back and reread his initial post and did not see anything about him being 30 feet from her. (?)
It looked, to me, like he was saying he walked by her while she was pumping gas while he was going in the store and that COULD mean he saw her well.
Frankly, I didn't want to pick his story apart, or find fault.
Good POF story's are like hen's teeth.
The further away from my divorce I get, the more faith I have in men, in myself and people in general.
It's the reverse of becoming jaded, I know, but I'm thankful, because I'm not progressing so much as I'm returning to the person I always was.
Can't we just let him be happy?
Maybe it won't work out, I don't own a crystal ball (boy, wouldn't THAT be nice), but since I don't know which way it's going to go, I'm going to hope it turns out well.
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:58:58 PM
Paladin2015...you dog! I also heard Fonzie say "aayyy."

...yea, hold-the-horses a bit...But then, we should all be able to see that things are happening in a decently healthy way. I think that Paladin2015 has got this. He ain't no dummy.

Hey everybody, hug a damned stranger already! You won't get no cooties. Spread the love! Pay it forward byatches!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 75
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:59:13 PM
However, I went back and reread his initial post and did not see anything about him being 30 feet from her. (?)
--------------------------------
Msg 46: "I was 30 feet away when I asked her if she was ok.....then I asker HER if she wanted a hug."
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