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 jade746
Joined: 4/11/2014
Msg: 26
Flakey men on this site.Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Hi,

Thanks for agreeing with me and it's reassuring to know that someone as beautiful as you is experiencing
the same problems.

Jade
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 27
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 4:06:41 AM
You say you want nothing serious so are these guys talking sex and getting nowhere?? Is that why they disappear.
Paying for an upgrade does not guarantee better quality responses and with your looks you don't need it. It is rare for a woman to pay on this site and really you don't need to.
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 28
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 4:06:54 AM
Jade, you should have edited your first post (you have a half an hour to do so) instead of making a new post. Because you did that you tripped the "no more than 2 posts in 10 posts" rule in effect in some forums. You are probably going to see your second thread deleted because of redundancy and no one will see your detailed responses to each poster.

Sometimes it helps to read the posting rules pinned at the top of the forums.

You have to let is go if they flake off. No one knows what is going on on the other side of the screen and trying to find out why by asking questions in the forums is an exercise in futility.

There are many threads already on this phenomenon, you should read them. I have, it has really helped me to stop losing my footing when convos fall through. Kind of like "their loss, my gain" as in that is just one more uncommitted turkey I would have wasted time on had they followed through. I think you are hoping for too much in online dating. You'd have better luck walking around sans knickers when it is windy outside if it is just sex you want but it appears you want sex only with smart guys and that is a hard thing to get.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 29
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 5:30:47 AM
Your odds of actually MEETING "better quality Fish" will go up dramatically if you do 3 things. Maybe you already do?

Find some guys you like and email THEM. That's what sharp women do no matter how many emails they get daily or weekly. Take control.

Don't text. AT ALL. Texting is THE common denominator in most every Forum for various tales of woe.

Attend a Fishmeet. [where serious people go] If there are none in your area, YOU can host one.

I also find your profile confusing on numerous levels. And just for the record, most people here at the Forums haven't the slightest clue what Chemistry is so I doubt the masses are going to get it. IF Chemistry is a must for you, INSIST on a phone call/meet within a couple of days right in your profile.That will weed out most of the fakes and flakes. At least it does for the ladies in my area. I am also lucky enough to live in an area where there are literally multiple hundreds of attractive ladies of all ages within 5 miles of me.

Did I mention NO TEXTING?

BTW, I have shot multiple hundreds of pics at over a dozen Fishmeets so don't put a whole lot of faith in the pics people post in their profiles. Many will be better looking in person.
 vicissitudes
Joined: 10/22/2015
Msg: 30
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 6:24:15 AM

Now the attractive looking men that write to me seem to have very little say, some of them seem to be illiterate and they hardlymake any effort at all in what they write. However, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and have
engaged in conversation with them, even dumbing down a bit to try and get onto their level. What I'm finding
though is that we will chat for a few hours and then they just disappear. I'm not looking for
a commitment and will just take a sexual arrangement, I have plenty to
say and try to make my messages as engaging as possible. I've even arranged to meet a few of them and they just either disappear or back out at the last minute. I wonder why they even bothered
contacting me in the first place, telling me how sexy I am


After a while you may come to understand that many of those attractive looking "men" are actually not who they appear to be in those stock photos. Many are fakes, juveniles or Nigerians using someone else's picture. Most of those kids may just be trying to get some online attention from an actual adult woman. Remember that before you "dumb down" for them.

Nothing is real until after you meet IRL.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 31
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 2:05:36 PM

The thing is when you start messaging someone you build up a kind of a connection and then it's difficult to just let it go. I keep moving on but getting a bit tired of moving on. I'm at the stage now that it seems to be par for the course that I'll start chatting to a man and then he will just disappear.


“Some” men objectify women and won’t see your conversation as anything more than whack off material along with your pics, like dirty magazines or porn. That’s what the creepy males do. They don’t care about YOU. They’re disappearing once they climax and are off to have a microwave burrito and try sexing up other POF women.

Remember the kids at school who were always alone and kind of weird and maybe did a stint at juvie and/or prison? Now they’re on dating sites trying to converse with women who wouldn’t look at them twice in real life.

You’re pretty; find real men in real life!
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 32
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 2:58:31 PM

“Some” men objectify women and won’t see your conversation as anything more than whack off material along with your pics, like dirty magazines or porn. That’s what the creepy males do. They don’t care about YOU. They’re disappearing once they climax and are off to have a microwave burrito and try sexing up other POF women.


I dare you generalize men this way. WE are much better than THAT. We deserve a better definition of what we do. So let's set the record straight.

I do not EVER microwave my burritos. I place them in a tray in the oven at 390. Are we clear now. Okay, where did I leave my beer?
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 33
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/3/2015 4:48:27 PM

The thing is when you start messaging someone you build up a kind of a connection and then it's difficult to just let it go. I keep moving on but getting a bit tired of moving on.


Its best to either push early on for a face to face meet to weed out any fakers, or just learn to enjoy your chat/text friends while they last and try to have no expectations as to the outcome.
It takes time and practice but you`ll eventually learn when and how much of yourself to invest in these interactions.

Just keep in mind, this is a platform where profiles and personalities are easily faked and as such, dont allow yourself to be drawn in by all the attention you`re getting.
There is plenty of attention you`d rather not be getting if you knew what was really behind all of it.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 34
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/4/2015 3:51:37 AM
Moi, me flakey?! - na, me loves all da wimmins!

Seriously - usually, as looks go up, so does high maintenance.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 35
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/4/2015 4:56:41 AM
OP......I think you had this idea that all kinds of men would be beating down your door because you are blonde and cute.

Well....the majority of folks come on to the online dating sites with the misguided idea of how easy it will be if we just "shop online" for what we want out here. There are all kinds of flakes out here. So many market themselves as something they are truly not.

Many of us have been subject to that more than you realize.

What makes you think you are so special?

But that being said....your profile is all over the map.
You don't want commitment, but just want casual sex.
You want a nice looking guy, but he can't be dumb - and you are willing to "dumb yourself down" for said nice looking guy.

To me.....your profile speaks volumes of how truly shallow you are......and it also screams "I just wanna get laid". I some how think you can do better than that.

As purple rider so well summed it up....(see message 16) and I'll quote him.....


I'm reminded of a quote that Nipsy Russell once said- "Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone".



Amen
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 36
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Posted: 11/5/2015 9:15:08 AM
"I must confess that if I don't like the photo then I just don't read the message
as I haven't got time."

I have a problem with this. I contacted a lady once, and when I saw that she had checked my profile, I was hoping that she had written back. I was surprised to see that after she checked my profile she deleted my message unread. That is rude. It really speaks to the quality of person that can't even be bothered to read the message, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS IN THE MESSAGE! Ya, that's right. I've sent messages to people just to comment on something cool or intriguing in their profile, with absolutely no intention of trying to meet the person. I'm just a social person and like to interact with people. Thankfully, every other lady who received a comment-on-your-profile-don't-intend-to-meet message was very cool and appreciative of what I had to say. The unread-deleted crowd are real downers and affect everyone's general enjoyment, as their bad attitude has a trickle down effect. Lighten up people. Enjoy life.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 37
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/5/2015 10:37:37 AM
^^^^^

Amen to that!

I can't tell you how many times I sent what I considered a really nice message only to have it deleted/unread.

It's a very sad commentary on how people are these days.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 38
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Posted: 11/5/2015 10:48:36 AM

I think you are right. The thing is when you start messaging someone you build up a kind of a connection
and then it's difficult to just let it go. I keep moving on but getting a bit tired of moving on. I'm at the
stage now that it seems to be par for the course that I'll start chatting to a man and then he will just disappear.


Men and women both disappear. That's normal for online dating. If you want an eye opener, spend some time with a male friend when he goes on this website. If you think the men are flakey, you haven't seen anything yet. They're disappearing because they met someone else or they got back together with their girlfriend. You're better off meeting people in social situations where you can establish a better connection with them if online dating isn't your cup of tea.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 39
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Posted: 11/5/2015 10:48:53 AM

dpwesu
I can't tell you how many times I sent what I considered a really nice message only to have it deleted/unread.

It's a very sad commentary on how people are these days.

Cowboy (RIP), used to say, and quite often, "Once you've sent a message, forget about it. Never look to see if it's been read. The only thing you should care about are positive responses in your inbox. All else is fluff to be ignored."

There have been some really long threads, with vigorous debates pro and con, about sending short initial messages versus laborious, time consuming, well thought out, intelligent, articulated initial messages.

Cowboy used to say that he could read a woman's profile, and write an initial message in under two minutes. With several years experience behind me, I can now do the same.



Hi, I was just looking at your profile, and I see you like the blues. Have you ever seen John Smith in person? He's playing at the DewDropInn this coming Saturday, and I really enjoy watching / listening to him play.




Hi, I was just looking at your profile, and I see you're a big fan of murder mysteries. Who's your favorite author? I lean towards Robert B. Parker myself.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 40
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Posted: 11/5/2015 11:38:53 AM

Men and women both disappear.


Rule #1 to enjoying OLD: Don't care.

Send a message, delete it, forget about it. Three days later a response pops up in your inbox and you'll be all like "WOW! HOW COOL! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM/HER".

You have a date, perhaps a second and she won't return your next phone call. Delete the phone number and the texts and go have a breakfast at Bob Evans for dinner.

Care more about your kid's basketball game, your brother's birthday, last night's bowling score and let all the OLD preliminary dancing stuff reside in your peripheral vision only.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 41
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/5/2015 12:59:21 PM

Cowboy used to say that he could read a woman's profile, and write an initial message in under two minutes. With several years experience behind me, I can now do the same.


Ohenry, you right on the money. I did not do it in two minutes, but what I always tried to do was find the golden nugget in her profile so I could send her a two sentence message that would hit a nerve in her and make her want to respond.

When I first started online dating and sucked like everyone else, it would take me about 100 emails to get maybe one single response. When I got good at it, I could get 3 responses out of 10 messages.

And unlike our hot dude Clouneytutor, very rarely women approached me and those that did were not my type.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 42
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Posted: 11/5/2015 1:40:23 PM
Don't waste your time or theirs 'dumbing yourself down'. If you don't want to date a man with nothing to say and appears to be in it for sex alone why would you engage them in conversation?
Looks fade, but true compatibility can last forever.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 43
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/5/2015 4:04:51 PM

Cowboy (RIP), used to say, and quite often, "Once you've sent a message, forget about it. Never look to see if it's been read. The only thing you should care about are positive responses in your inbox. All else is fluff to be ignored."

There have been some really long threads, with vigorous debates pro and con, about sending short initial messages versus laborious, time consuming, well thought out, intelligent, articulated initial messages.

Cowboy used to say that he could read a woman's profile, and write an initial message in under two minutes. With several years experience behind me, I can now do the same.


Henry (see message 42) - amen to that! - I truly like that. While I am not able to quickly write something in 2 minutes or less, I do like to be somewhat thoughtful in my messages. :)


Don't waste your time or theirs 'dumbing yourself down'. If you don't want to date a man with nothing to say and appears to be in it for sex alone why would you engage them in conversation?


Carolann (see message 45) I agree with you totally. I don't understand why anyone who has a shred of intelligence would dumb themselves down just for the sake of dating and/or sex. I've never understood it, but that's just me.


Looks fade, but true compatibility can last forever.


Oh no kidding.....just go attend your 20 year (or more) high school class reunion and you see that! The ultra athletic jock is now balding with a huge beer belly because he hangs out at the local tavern a few nights a week reliving his glory days, while the ultra popular cute cheerleader has survived multiple marriages with 10 kids from just as many men and looks like she has been around the world a few times over and not as a tourist.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 44
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/5/2015 5:15:57 PM
If a customer likes what they see in the photos, all you need is a 2 minute sales pitch--your proverbial foot is already in the door. The customer is your's to lose, not to worry about winning. They already want what you offer, they just want to be convinced the odds of buyer's remorse will be low enough.

and gals here weren't shy to post publically, they wanted what cowboy was offering. so if you don't...then he's still right, you might as well only throw 2 minutes of investment into your sales proposal.

why do people dumb down? b/c they want more offers. they may not be as intelligent as they want to be, they may be cunning instead. OR, likely, they want to get laid more than they want "happy ever after"

compatability can last forever, but I think it starts with us. hopefully we can overlook the small things, and adapt when they change--and not be a PITA when we change as we get older.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 45
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/5/2015 6:51:22 PM

Cowboy used to say that he could read a woman's profile, and write an initial message in under two minutes. With several years experience behind me, I can now do the same.


And didn't he also comment a lot about the number of so-called "cute gals" who showed up looking a lot different from their photos?

Nothing to write home about there.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 46
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/6/2015 1:19:04 PM
I wouldn't dumb down for dyck. You should take it personally because you are not being true to yourself. I don't care if it's a Clooney look alike. I wouldn't dumb down for attention from a man. What do you do after you start acting all unedumacated? Boink? If you can't get him at an intellectual level the sex is gonna eventually suck. Sex is in the mind and if your dumbing down your gonna get lame sex too. You're just cray cray.
 gfe784270
Joined: 10/29/2015
Msg: 47
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/6/2015 1:35:29 PM
I'd suggest letting it go. Don't spend time analyzing other people's behavior. Instead, focus on the next message in front of you and reply back to someone else. I'd suggest replying to someone you normally might not respond to. Who knows? You might actually surprise yourself and like the guy. Focus on your work, family, friends, etc. So, one guy didn't agree to meet you or disappeared? Okay, that's fine bc...there's someone else out there and meanwhile you're enjoying your life. Good luck =)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 48
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/6/2015 1:52:27 PM
Dumb down for Dyck lol,,,, should be a band name. I will use that line Penny :)
 no_kids_please
Joined: 10/19/2015
Msg: 49
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/12/2015 2:33:19 AM
I'm not the least bit flaky... but no woman cares, so yeah... what's the point?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 50
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Posted: 11/12/2015 10:54:12 AM

gtomustang
If a customer likes what they see in the photos, all you need is a 2 minute sales pitch--your proverbial foot is already in the door. The customer is your's to lose, not to worry about winning. They already want what you offer, they just want to be convinced the odds of buyer's remorse will be low enough.

and gals here weren't shy to post publically, they wanted what cowboy was offering. so if you don't...then he's still right, you might as well only throw 2 minutes of investment into your sales proposal.

Yep, the girls definitely liked Cowboy. But as has been stated, over and over and over again, success at OLD is 90% in the pictures. And you still have people putting up ungodly bad pictures. As one of my very first bosses liked to say, “You buy them books, and they just eat the covers.”


FullMoonGuy
And didn't he also comment a lot about the number of so-called "cute gals" who showed up looking a lot different from their photos?

Nothing to write home about there.

Disagree.
Some of the people you meet will not look as good as their pictures. Some will look like their pictures, and some will actually look better. But if you weren’t on here trying, what would you be doing? Sitting at home watching internet porn wishing you had a girlfriend? I’ll take door number one, thank you. Meeting women, some of whom will definitely look good enough.

PennyAnte
I wouldn't dumb down for dyck. You should take it personally because you are not being true to yourself. I don't care if it's a Clooney look alike. I wouldn't dumb down for attention from a man. What do you do after you start acting all unedumacated? Boink? If you can't get him at an intellectual level the sex is gonna eventually suck. Sex is in the mind and if your dumbing down your gonna get lame sex too. You're just cray cray.

I don’t know whether “dumbing down” would lead to “lame sex”. No idea, really. But I can comment on this. Down through the years, we have covered the topic of crazy women and sex, and all of the experienced men agreed, 100% -- Crazy women give the best sex!

PS: where did GFE784270 come from anyway? My god, she’s hot! Doesn’t she know really hot women don’t need OLD?
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