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 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 76
Flakey men on this site.Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
My experience has shown being completely transparent makes things remarkably easy with O.L.D. as a late-40s male.
Real name, real location, and real height. The trick is truly owning your hand of cards with confidence and ease.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 77
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 6:29:40 PM
But Eric.
You do not need to lie.
You are fabulous... just the way you are.


Quite right Henry.
I would not have met him had he advertised himself honestly.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 78
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 7:42:25 PM
dpwesu

You are by your own words, overweight and you are evasive about your job. The women are not interested so they just delete. They are entitled to. Just because you send a message, they are not obligated to reply. It is their way of saying "no thanks". You need to get used to the cyber world if you are going to use an online dating site.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 79
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 7:47:38 PM
Men who are bad mannered, unemployed and short wont do well in real life and certainly not with online dating. Once the lie is discovered by the disgruntled woman who has taken the trouble to show up the game is up. Why men do this, I do not know. Just wanted to vent to some captive audience I guess.

I would have bought a take away coffee and left. He deserved to be ignored.

I had a guy turn up and ask me if I had ordered him a coffee too when I was at the counter buying my own. Now I don't mind paying for my own but will not buy one for a stranger I don't know. Needless to say the meet lasted as long as the coffee and I made my excuses.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 80
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 7:51:37 PM
moonbeamlover

Some men beggar belief. The delusions and illusions they are under is incredible. Have a neighbour married to the much younger mail order bride who has put on 2 kgs and now weight 47kg. He comments on that. She has had two children and he is obese, old enough to be her father, with a huge gut but does not see the irony either.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 81
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 8:00:53 PM
I had one guy show up on a meet and greet late. Ok I am late all the time so a pass on that. I also think he was late so he could see if I looked like my picture and since I did came in. He then shows up in sweats and tee shirt. First impressions are lasting impressions Ladies and gentlemen, didn't your mothers tell you that? I had my drink and chips when arrived. He didn't order a drink. He wanted to eat my appetizer and he didn't look anything like his picture.
I finished my drink and then went home.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 82
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 8:05:24 PM

I would love to be a fly on the wall when two liars met.


I would love to be a fly on the wall watching women go through profiles and messages and see which ones they respond to and which ones they pass on.

Then I would love to read their minds to hear why they responded to the ones they responded to, and passed on the ones they passed on.

Especially when they keep ending up with so many misadventures.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 11/7/2015
Msg: 83
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 8:25:26 PM
^ I'm guessing it goes something like this, for both men and women who end up with so many misadventures:

"Oh! This is too good to be true! But it must be true, because... BOOBIES! (or some such). Well, that one little thing isn't quite adding up, so I'm going to ignore it. Why don't I ever see this many good looking people in my age range in real life? Who cares? Happy happy day!"
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 84
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 11/30/2015 10:39:45 PM
^^ lol baby


letitia: yeah, he sounds like a real winner (and by the way, dpwesu IS a female; I don't think they really want interest from other women) :)

fullmoon: yeah, that one WOULD be a tough sell... some people translate better in person where their personality can shine without the stats being there first... in the case where there are that many, to some people, dealbreaking (unemployed talking about retirement demanding every date have children and grandchildren is a stretch for easy connection).... maybe a meetup group, book club, toastmasters, something ilke that where the person can be seen and appreciated; I know several men that are according to online undateable with fabulous personalities and confidence or a sense of humor... and they beat women away with a stick when they have groups in real life where people can interact with each other over something fun or interesting.

eric: agreed. 100%
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 85
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/1/2015 7:21:08 AM

He says he is athletic, employed in a great job and 6foot tall.
She says she is average, works in an office and is 5'4".

When they arrive:
He is unemployed 5'4" and looks like Friar Tuk.
She is 6 foot tall, a corporate CEO and in training for the Olympics in ShotPut.


I know a woman that complained having a date / meeting with a man that used old pictures. But when I looked at her profile, she is clearly heavier than what she appears to be in her pictures.

BTW. I know this was an example. But I don't think many women would say they are a secretary when they are actually a CEO. The other way around is more likely. Plus in my experience, women are more likely to lie about age and weight than height.
 GnosisMan
Joined: 5/4/2014
Msg: 86
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/20/2015 4:07:51 PM
Hi Jade,

As much as we would all like to find a mate who has the virtues and attributes for a lasting relationship who is also
good looking and also finds us attractive would be tantamount to winning the lottery. Good looks goes only so far and it's all too easy to be lured by the physical attractiveness of a person and lose sight of who they actually are. There are also a lot of men out there who lack depth.
You mentioned giving men the benefit of the doubt by dumbing down a bit to try and get onto their level. It just so happens that I was listening to dating coach expert Mathew Hussey who mentioned precisely what you said and he mentioned the need for standards. Should you be interested, you can find him here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui4Jw_wOn_Y

At the 3:40 minute mark, he makes a very important point about our needs for standards and what happens when we give them up in order to lure those we find attractive. While there are many dating coaches online for women, I believe that Mathew is above the rest and his concern for women is one that I find to be genuine. Perhaps you will too but don't judge him by just one video. I suggest you check out many others he has on you tube.

All the best.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 11/7/2015
Msg: 87
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/20/2015 4:22:22 PM
^ You sound like an infomercial.

Hey, I need some last minute Christmas gifts... Something in the way of relationship advice... Does anybody know where I could get some books or videos or sumpthin? ;)
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 88
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Standards and respect
Posted: 12/20/2015 5:28:36 PM
Thanks for the YT link. I watched the Mathew Hussey eight-minute video; it was inspiring and encouraging. I've seen him around a couple years ago but I've not viewed any of his videos lately. I might check out a few more. It beats the sniping and warring I've run into lately.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 89
Flakey crusty men who are just a shell
Posted: 12/20/2015 7:32:35 PM
dating advice for Christmas? Pick a partner the way you buy laundry soap--skip over the pretty packaging on the outside of the bottle. Focus on its contents. Then look at the cost and see if you can afford to pay what's necessary.

or, you know, find someone hot and try to get laid. and hope somehow something comes out of it beyond that.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 90
Flakey crusty men who are just a shell
Posted: 12/20/2015 7:52:40 PM
I don't know about that. I just wait for the sale. Last time I bought laundry detergent they were clearing out this ultra concentrated, low packaging detergent at the supermarket.

Don't know if I really want to get the economy sized, super intense version for a partner.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 91
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Flakey crusty men who are just a shell
Posted: 12/20/2015 8:48:40 PM

gtomustang
or, you know, find someone hot and try to get laid. and hope somehow something comes out of it beyond that.


I've been doing that all of my adult life. And I'm not doing that badly, I had a 27 year marriage as a result.


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 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 92
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/21/2015 5:02:46 AM
Most people would not have to dumb down nearly as much as they think they would. .they are already there naturally. Why do about 80% or more of people think that they are above average, or " far above average " in looks and/or intelligence.
Not infrequently, dumb people may be too dumb to realize how little they know.
a bit like how close to 100% of drivers think that they are "above average " in that skill. .not statistically possible, obviously
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 93
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/21/2015 5:06:13 AM
Ironic when 2 people meet and BOTH think that they are "dumbing down " for the other person, eh wot?
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 94
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/21/2015 8:26:04 AM
Make sure your actions match your intentions, and problem solved. If you're looking to build a connection with someone who you have already designated to "casual sex", then you are looking for conditional casual sex, which is not the same.

Some people are looking for exclusive casual sex.......like someone who you already pegged (pardon the pun) into category but you don't want them to sleep around. You don't owe anyone you're just f*cking for the meantime, any fidelity when that's all you'll ever be to them (though they may change their minds later on). So these people owe you no intelligent conversation, heck they don't even owe you a conversation beyond where to meet for sex and what time.

It's like that saying in Spanish " a caballo regalado, no se le ve el colmillo", meaning you can't find fault with something that is free.
 AprilB4U
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 95
Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/21/2015 10:14:16 AM
Maybe they are actually looking for more debth than that of just "a sexual arrangement" and the fact that you come across as so easily willing to give that up maybe it tells them a lot about you? Men may need to be given more credit. Don't sell yourself out so quickly and dig a bit deeper for real character- you may then end up what you are seeking. From sister to sister. :-)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 96
Flakey crusty men who are just a shell
Posted: 12/21/2015 10:24:02 AM
if someone wishes to acquire what fulfills their need, based on how much it will cost them....that's fine. But if I have $20 to spend on lunch, I likely can find a lot of good, fulfilling lunch experiences for $20. Someone who is attractive, financially stable, has common sense, might find they can take more risks on a relationship and not get hurt. So, they may find they have a lot more viable choices out there offered to them. A minor golddigger isn't going to bankrupt them. But some broke dude, yeah, she's going to put a big hurt on him if he takes a risk on the game and loses.

The more you want out of a relationship, the more you have to look at what's there to be offered. And you have to offer it in return. Some of us, for example, might be naturally classy, others have to do a little bit of polishing--which would be cost we are willing to pay. But sometimes in our life, what we need then is "on sale"--a good partner just happens to fall into your life for example, you didn't have to go looking or date long distance in order to find them. no big costs.

As for the Spanish phrase, it reminds me of the classic from the days before cars--don't look a gift horse in the mouth. No sense checking its teeth and gums to make sure it isn't an old hag who's coat has been dyed to look younger, you didn't pay for it anyway.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 97
Flakey crusty men who are just a shell
Posted: 12/21/2015 10:33:18 AM

As for the Spanish phrase, it reminds me of the classic from the days before cars--don't look a gift horse in the mouth. No sense checking its teeth and gums to make sure it isn't an old hag who's coat has been dyed to look younger, you didn't pay for it anyway.


its the same phrase, I translated it for the morale of the phrase, not its literal definition. I was not even aware the same existed in English. Good to know, thanks.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 98
Flakey crusty men who are just a shell
Posted: 12/25/2015 8:36:47 PM
that's me, just here to educate. Actually, I like to know the history of popular phrases, reminds one of how things used to be, what was important in the old days, and that as technology changes....our nature does not. we can find new ways to do the same dumb old things :)
 tatsuwen
Joined: 11/20/2015
Msg: 99
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/26/2015 9:11:02 AM
Never heard of catfishing. But good advice just let it roll off like water off a ducks back and move on. Its going forward that counts.
 tatsuwen
Joined: 11/20/2015
Msg: 100
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Flakey men on this site.
Posted: 12/26/2015 9:24:32 AM
Great post. Sums it up quite nicely.
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