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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?      Home login  
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 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 217
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?Page 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Yes..Pablo Escobar was a winner in the dating world..plenty of beautiful women..as was El Chapo Guzman..his sons still are, as is any person with plenty of money, regardless of how obtained .

if El Chapo put a profile on POF, there'd doubtless be thousands of women falling over themselves to get with him.
 swampyswampy
Joined: 12/13/2015
Msg: 218
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 7:34:13 AM
plenty of times crook why do you doubt everything i ever say?
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 219
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 7:38:42 AM

it just kinda struck me that we're discussing this same point in different places this week....


I was thinking the same thing. Must be at least 4 post with just the slightest twist but bringing up the same topic.
Who pays?
On-line dating has changed that quite a bit. I have noticed that the responses also seems to vary depending on the age of the poster
Go back to the 70s when some of us started dating. There was no on-line. Maybe you met at a dance, in school, at work.. out walking your dog or running in a park. Often a party. So the first time you went out together - it was NOT a meetup. It was a date. You already had the meetup when you clicked at the dance/party. For Free
But the first 70's date was different. Guy gets number. Guy calls girl "Would you like to see a movie on Friday?" Guy pays. If there was that spark - then it switched to sometimes alternating who paid. But even then, most guys felt like they should. I would offer even back then because darn it, I wanted to see that movie so I will treat. Nope.. it was a no go with most of them.

Times have changed - obviously.
And it is NOT ABOUT THE MONEY.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 220
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 7:39:53 AM

if El Chapo put a profile on POF, there'd doubtless be thousands of women falling over themselves to get with him.


BUT! Would he demand that they go dutch during a first meet at visitation?
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 221
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 7:44:48 AM
^^

No, I am sure he'd pay..only thing is he might demand a background check to try to determine whether she is undercover DEA or Federale.

maybe a bunch of guys with AK 47 s standing by..
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 222
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 7:47:53 AM
It certainly helps in dating to have more money than average, but there is something I think a lot of men on POF overlook.

You actually have to spend the money, not just have it.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 223
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 7:55:01 AM

plenty of times crook why do you doubt everything i ever say?


Hmm....don't recall ever doubting you before. Different user name? But I digress....having dealt with countless domestic situations over the years I've never seen people that upon initial interaction with someone else would without some emotional provocation refer to someone as a loser. Especially just for the fact they were a single dad with limited income. Are there any other issues not revealed that would necessitate someone calling you a loser? In the context of what you're describing the use of the word loser it seems almost insulting and derogatory in nature which doesn't seem normal for initial interaction on a dating level.

But if that's what you're experiencing I'd have to question why.

Good luck to you.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 224
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 9:30:30 AM

ive often been called a loser cus of my low income even though im a lone parent women can get away with it but us men cant feminists want the best of both worlds

For the same reason that if you take kids out of the equation, it's more OK for a single gal to work to barely make ends meet VS a guy. Gals don't necessarily want a wealthy guy, but at a certain age, a guy who's a-okay financially and not having to live on a tight budget/low pay, compared to others in the arena. Whether it be due to being a parent, past hospital bills, or having to help support aging parents all while not making much money -- it puts a guy in a negative dating position, statistically.

Why do women get a "free pass" on that, generally speaking? Well, especially in big city culture, it's not a totally free pass for everyone, but yes, it's definitely more allowed. Why? For the same reason by default the guy is to be the approacher to a gal, to ask the girl out and/or pay for the first few dates, etc. In the big city it's not so hardened, and out in the country it is more hardened.

If the guy has to stretch a budget to make ends meet, it's just not impressive. Not to pay for her per se, but because a guy's a better prospect if he isn't struggling, in comparison to other guys in the arena who are. Just like women wanting a guy who's bigger physically than she, she wants a guy who at least has The Means to play the adequate role of provider if/when together -- because guys tend to have more aspirations for careers vs jobs, etc. It's what the human condition tends to.

But I'm sure there are true feminist gals out there who appreciate a guy being a lone parent, being a Good Guy, intelligent, respecting her feminist POV -- thus be more open/willing to date said guy if he was working to make ends meet and burdened being a lone parent, while she was doing just fine for herself (and likes kids).
 Marry_Me_Monroe
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 225
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 2:34:55 PM

If the guy has to stretch a budget to make ends meet, it's just not impressive. Not to pay for her per se, but because a guy's a better prospect if he isn't struggling, in comparison to other guys in the arena who are. Just like women wanting a guy who's bigger physically than she, she wants a guy who at least has The Means to play the adequate role of provider if/when together -- because guys tend to have more aspirations for careers vs jobs, etc. It's what the human condition tends to.


In general, it seems like very few question that men want to date the most attractive woman/women they can get (as long as she isn't wicked or crazy or both) yet the fact that a woman is going to pick the most economically stable man when all other aspects of a man's character are equal among her suitors gets questioned to death!

You can't fix stupid.
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 226
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 2:44:24 PM
^^^ it will quit getting questioned to death when some of you finally admit that many of you go straight for the wallet. What and how much is he willing and capable of paying? You e said it a million times - men want the attractive woman. But you you rarely say - women want the money.

Men will take a semi attractive woman with a low paying job or who is on disability or welfare even, if he finds her interesting and kind. A woman won't, most won't anyway.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 227
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/20/2016 4:00:10 PM

why is the woman attracted to the socially skilled guy?


“Socially skilled…”?? Yeah. Sure.


ive often been called a loser cus of my low income even though im a lone parent women can get away with it but us men cant feminists want the best of both worlds


What is it women are supposedly “getting away” with? Maybe take that issue up with your “evolutionary competition,” guys who have no problem dating single mothers, and make them stop, instead of blaming women for your circumstances. I’m totally shocked women aren’t swept off their feet by your debonair charm.

Embrace punctuation.
 swampyswampy
Joined: 12/13/2015
Msg: 228
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/21/2016 6:06:18 AM
youre right evolution has changed ill remember that next time a woman complains her bf has beaten her and she is struggling to get a pram on a bus :)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 229
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/21/2016 1:35:37 PM

Tough enough under the best of circumstances in OLD


I can attest to that.


You actually have to spend the money, not just have it.


WHAT???

This whole system is just getting worse and worse.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 230
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/21/2016 1:55:49 PM

youre right evolution has changed ill remember that next time a woman complains her bf has beaten her and she is struggling to get a pram on a bus :)


So what will you do after you "remember" that “evolution has changed,” push her and the pram off the bus? Your example sounds like you’re saying you’ve “evolved” into an arsehole. But I’m sure that’s only because some “feminist” made you do it.

I didn’t say “evolution has changed.” Do you even know what evolution means? Why don’t you try evolving into using punctuation, maybe you could appear semi-coherent.
 B_Hasenpfeffer
Joined: 10/6/2014
Msg: 231
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 6:42:28 AM

There are plenty of opportunities to save a buck when out by yourself. Using a coupon on a DATE (not a “meet”) makes an impression of a thoughtless cheapskate…not a good impression



Any place that accepts coupons is a place a guy can go alone….use the coupon then, or with a guy buddy

Most coupons are "buy-one-get-one-free/half price" kinda deals, especially in restaurants, which assume the users to be couples.

A single person at an eatery buying two meals for himself just so he can use a coupon to save a buck doesn't make sense. A guy buddy is expected to pay his own way.


The issue of income, employment, inequality and capitalism ends up tangent to my social activism for living wages

If you put forth the same effort into improving yourself and income level that you do with your "activism", you would be financially fit. But it is easier to protest that your employer isn't paying you a "living wage" than to get your $hit together.

How ambitious are you really when you work retail at age 33?? Shouldn't your "Bachelors Degree" mean something?? Unless it's a nonsense degree ... such as history or the arts.

Note: Social activism isn't ambition.

Social activism is stomping your feet and throwing a tantrum because you aren't getting your perceived entitlements.

The economic system of the world isn't failing. It's working just fine. The system is only failing for the lazy "occupier" types.


Of course a bleeding-hearted egalitarian socialist like myself finds wealth-chasing women to be extremely unattractive

But chasing the wealth of corporate employers and have them share more of it with you while you do nothing to improve yourself is "very attractive", right??


Embrace punctuation

Give the guy a break, LOL!! He only has high school and is currently unemployed.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 232
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 7:25:16 AM

There are plenty of opportunities to save a buck when out by yourself. Using a coupon on a DATE (not a “meet”) makes an impression of a thoughtless cheapskate…not a good impression


Complaining about using a coupon on a date seems petty to me. Do you get offended when a person buys you a gift when the item was on sale? Or when you go to a restaurant that has a 2 for $20 special discount on certain items on the menu?
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 233
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 7:44:05 AM

There are plenty of opportunities to save a buck when out by yourself. Using a coupon on a DATE (not a “meet”) makes an impression of a thoughtless cheapskate…not a good impression


Complaining about using a coupon on a date seems petty to me. Do you get offended when a person buys you a gift when the item was on sale? Or when you go to a restaurant that has a 2 for $20 special discount on certain items on the menu?


Wow, yes, exactly. If there's anything I appreciate, it's financial responsibility. I was treated to a breakfast at Bob Evans Sunday morning, and my GF used a coupon. Awesome, atta girl! She's somebody who will mesh well with me. Not only did she show an appreciation for me, but she did it a lowered cost.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 234
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 8:04:16 AM

ive often been called a loser cus of my low income even though im a lone parent women can get away with it but us men cant feminists want the best of both worlds


I don't know about in person, but if women on-line are calling you 'a loser', it's probably due less to your low income and more to your badly-constructed profile. Reading yours, with its run-on sentences and lack of punctuation, I'd mumble 'loser' and go on to the next profile as well.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 235
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 9:22:42 AM

There are plenty of opportunities to save a buck when out by yourself. Using a coupon on a DATE (not a “meet”) makes an impression of a thoughtless cheapskate…not a good impression

Not a good impression for what -- having cha-ching? :) So if he tells a story about how he and his sister went out to Applebees, and within it as a side note, mentioned he used a 2-for-1 coupon -- is that him being a cheap skate? I could understand a guy freaking out about how he Forgot his coupon as being a cheap skate, or him scrambling to run to his car to dig up a mere 10% off coupon. Would him whipping out a diners club card affect you the same? It acts an electronic coupon, is all.

The advice I'd give guys is to err on the side not to use a coupon on the initial few dates of a gal you're just getting to know, unless at the end of the date you see it possibly not working out and would be willing to see if she would have issue. I say this because it's one of the silly little guilt-by-association stereotype judgment calls. But when the "pre season" to dating a specific gal is winding down, and you have a buy-1-get-one-free or free-desert coupon in your wallet, don't be afraid to attach it to the bill along with your credit card.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 236
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 9:35:28 AM
I wouldn't use a coupon for the first few dates, for several reasons.

One, it would maybe make a bad impression, but much more significant.

There isn't any place that I really like accepts any sort of coupons. One place doesn't even accept credit cards, cash only, which is pretty rare. The closest I come to a place that is a discount for me is Cheesecake Factory. It's little pricey, but I have free gift cards I collected from points from a credit card. I had to get something before the points expired. For a first few dates, Cheesecake Factory is about the level I like to go with.

I do go to places that accept coupons, mostly they are like Applebees, a local pizza place, small buffet like Golden Corral or I-Hop type places. None of which are very impressive, OK food but nothing exceptional.

I do ask for the senior discount, it's usually 10% of the entire bill, great for larger groups, that is probably another thing people are going to have an opinion about on a date.

It should be intuitive that if a place is very popular , they don't feel the need to offer any sort of discounts.
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 237
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 12:46:20 PM

sundownertoo:
"^^^ it will quit getting questioned to death when some of you finally admit that many of you go straight for the wallet. What and how much is he willing and capable of paying? You e said it a million times - men want the attractive woman. But you you rarely say - women want the money.
Men will]\ take a [semi attractive woman] with a [low paying job] or who is on disability or welfare even, if he finds her interesting and kind. A woman won't, most won't anyway.

It could be, it could be. And conversely, I know women who have chosen [semi-affluent men] with [low level looks] when they found them interesting and kind. It happens frequently.

That OK with you?
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 238
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 12:54:59 PM

chromis1:
"Wow, yes, exactly. If there's anything I appreciate, it's financial responsibility. I was treated to a breakfast at Bob Evans Sunday morning, and my GF used a coupon. Awesome, atta girl! She's somebody who will mesh well with me. Not only did she show an appreciation for me, but she did it a lowered cost."

Oh, fun. Cool. My kind of couple.
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 239
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 1:28:13 PM

ive often been called a loser cus of my low income even though im a lone parent women can get away with it but us men cant feminists want the best of both worlds

Name callers are not nice, avoid those kinds of men and women; seek out optimistic and resourceful people.
Don't seek to "get away" with things.
Acquire some gumption and get on with it.
Your situation has nothing to do with feminists


plenty of times crook why do you doubt everything i ever say?

Perhaps your forum posting reputation limits your plausibility.


youre right evolution has changed ill remember that next time a woman complains her bf has beaten her and she is struggling to get a pram on a bus :)

Reading this might encourage others to think of you as less manly.

Making positive efforts will improve your life.

All the best to you.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 240
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/22/2016 7:42:01 PM

It should be intuitive that if a place is very popular , they don't feel the need to offer any sort of discounts.


I know popular places that offer discounts. Often ( not always ) on days / times when they aren't quite as busy. For example, a restaurant near where I live has special deals on Monday and Tuesday. Usually the 2 slowest days of the week for them.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 241
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 2/24/2016 7:33:11 AM

I know popular places that offer discounts. Often ( not always ) on days / times when they aren't quite as busy. For example, a restaurant near where I live has special deals on Monday and Tuesday. Usually the 2 slowest days of the week for them.


You are right, and popular is a poor way for me to have expressed myself. I-Hop is very popular and often offers many types of discounts, especially to those over 55. There is often a line to get in.

The higher quality the restaurant, the more interesting the food, the less you can expect to see any sort of coupons/discounts. One reason is, the ingredients that go into their food is more expensive.

A lot of places offer a lunch menu, or some sort of discount before some time, 3:00 PM, 4, 5:00 PM, or on off days. They have fairly good food, I go to these types of places often, they all lack ambiance. I go to restaurants fairly often, I don't want to spend huge amounts of money, last week I went 6 times to a restaurant in the 7 day period. (A little more often than normal)

However, dating on Mondays or Tuesdays isn't very popular, nor are lunch menus. Often the discounts are on a more limited menu that the full priced menu.

FWIW, I don't go to expensive restaurants, at least not in the past 15 years. Top prices I pay for two people is $70, and that is rare. (not including tip). However, in the last 6 years, I once paid $160 and $90, but one for was a woman I had been sleeping with the last 4 weeks, and one was for a meet with a friend that flew in on an International flight.. I wouldn't take a woman that I just dating but wasn't sleeping with already to a restaurant that was over $70 per couple. BTW, I don't usually order alcohol, or maybe just a beer.

IMO it's a waste of money to try and impress someone I was dating by spending money, I would feel foolish. If she wanted to go to such a place, I would be a little offended. However, I might want to enjoy a more expensive place with someone I am in a LTR with already

As for dating, a more nuanced way of expressing this, restaurants that are trendy, have really good food and offer the kind of ambiance that is suitable for a newish date, they never offer discounts but aren't terribly expensive, because of this they are popular all the times they are open.

A typical place I would take taken a date is the following. (I also go there now with my wife, but it's an hour trip to get there, the only downside.)

http://www.chicagopizzaandovengrinder.com/history.htm
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