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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?      Home login  
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 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 76
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Money has always being an issue in dating or relationship.

Sixty percent of marriages end in divorce for financial reasons = money.!!

Money and sex, 2 of the most important.......
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 77
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 11/30/2015 5:11:19 PM
It would seem like there are some women (the coupon haters) who would never date a guy if he's rich and famous, because those guys often get free meals and drinks when they go out to a restaurant or club, because it's worth it for the restaurant or club owner to get the publicity. The women who want to see a guy pull out his wallet and fork over cash or a credit card (and of course, no coupons) would feel ripped off if she got a free meal and drinks, and he didn't have to spend money on her.

And what about guys who can right off the bill as a business expense? Would that get a yay or nay from women? Would Michelle Obama get mad at Barack if they went to some foreign place, had a meal and drinks there, and Barack didn't pull out his wallet to pay for it, and instead, allowed the taxpayer to pick up the bill? Would she feel she's worth nothing if it cost Barack nothing?
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 78
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 11/30/2015 5:31:39 PM
I wouldn’t assume a man not using a coupon on a date was irresponsible with money. SMH

What kind of restaurants even accept coupons??

Maybe he’ll bring a calculator along to make sure to have his “date” fork over her fair share, including tip. (do people who use coupons leave tips??)
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 79
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 5:55:06 AM

I wouldn’t assume a man not using a coupon on a date was irresponsible with money. SMH

What kind of restaurants even accept coupons??

Maybe he’ll bring a calculator along to make sure to have his “date” fork over her fair share, including tip. (do people who use coupons leave tips??)


Oh, I wouldn't make that assumption either, but neither would I assume he was 'too rich' to care about how much money he has.

Michelin-class restaurants don't accept coupons. Usually only chain restaurants do, however, sometimes you can request if there is a discount for using cash.

As for a calculator... you are being a bit snip-y... but if he can't do the calculations in his head, then he probably isn't intelligent enough to ask for separate checks to begin with or intelligent enough for me.
 phinatic14
Joined: 5/10/2013
Msg: 80
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 3:42:42 PM
Haven't we learned already guys: it's mainly about TWO things. The first is looks/how hot you are. The second is what's in your bank account. There are exceptions for sure, but the vast majority of women these days think this way.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 81
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 3:46:28 PM
I briefly dated a quality woman from this site - can't say enough good things about her. She complained to me about guys who messaged her bragging about how much they had or made.

I think you might be doing it wrong.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 82
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 4:24:11 PM
You have to be subtle, create the illusion that you have money.

Like, I'm on the board of a nonprofit, but we all volunteer our time and effort, but if I listed that in my profile, that I'm on the board of a nonprofit, she sees $$$$$$$$$$$$, and I'm clearly a great guy because I work for a non-profit... why doesn't my profile say all of this?
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 83
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 4:24:39 PM
I can't decide if certain men here in the forums whine more about women being fat or being gold diggers.

So many men lead with money. LOOK at my car! LOOK at my boat! LOOK at my [insert other expensive thing here]! They go on and on about traveling and their ability to do so. They say in profiles or in their FIRST contact something to the effect of wanting to take you places that show of their wealth. It is obnoxious. I guess that is all they think they have to offer. I think some of those guys are reaping what they sow.

I don't care about any of that stuff. Never have. I have never expected a man to buy or give me anything. Maybe that is why I have never gotten anything or maybe the men who actually meet me realize those things aren't even on my radar. Driving (although it isn't running right now) a crappy, old minivan may clue them in. Or always wanting to do free stuff may tip them off.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 84
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 4:47:00 PM

Haven't we learned already guys: it's mainly about TWO things. The first is looks/how hot you are. The second is what's in your bank account. There are exceptions for sure, but the vast majority of women these days think this way


I think your statistical analysis lacks validity.

Maybe the vast majority of women you've met and judged, then confirmed your judgement with something absolutely scientific like 'she looked down at the wrong moment'.

Yep, lacks validity. And credibility.

Maybe you're so worried about attracting a gold-digger that you send out those weird 'vibes' of attracting gold-diggers so you can prove all women are like that? I have no clue as to why but I also have no experience with your world-view.
 AussieNancy
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 85
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/1/2015 5:12:46 PM

She complained to me about guys who messaged her bragging about how much they had or made.


I've had messages like that in the past and I don't think that's a good idea on their part. They're potentially tempting gold diggers plus it makes you wonder if money is all they have to offer. If that's the case, it's pretty sad really.

A little story here which I've posted before; a long time ago. I'll put it in point form for easier reading.

* Met a man from here who clearly had limited means.
* His car and house, furniture and clothes etc indicated such.
* Was a lovely guy and we dated for about 3 months.

* I'm also of limited income and our time together was mostly free stuff.
* We'd go for drives, walk in a park, watch a movie at each other's places, fish and chips on the beach etc.
* Everything was great.

* After nearly 2 months (7 weeks) he said he had to tell me something and "can we go for a drive?"
* We went for the drive and he pulled up in the driveway of a huge house with security gates and a BMW parked there.
* "Who's place is this?" I asked.

* It was his! Turned out he was pretty much a multi millionaire; a property developer.
* He said he'd been stung too many times and saw a certain quality in me which "didn't reek of money." :)
* He deeply apologised for his deception and said the house where I met him was his brother's; as was the car.

We continued to date for many more weeks after that. He spoiled me and we continued to have a fantastic relationship. His and my children were introduced to each other. All was amazing. Tragedy struck.........

Thanks for reading.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 86
make her comfortable. connect. be attractive enough to her
Posted: 12/2/2015 9:17:48 AM
doing the free things is great...when both partners have a lot of personality. Many times, what you do isn't as important as who you do it with. at this point, I have a female activity partner I take to scenic places for free (minus cost of gas, natch), and she takes photos of herself there to put on FB and thanks me for taking her to a spot she didn't know existed. meanwhile, she's sleeping with a guy she has nothing in common with except they go drinking.

Some guys "sell" their wealth to a date b/c there isn't much else to convince a date they're a success. some guys do it b/c generally its a male characteristic to deal in reciting lists. A woman might connect to him b/c of other existing circumstances, and then after the breakup his buddy tries to impress her with what he has...and gets no traction.

everyone likes what they like. some women might like to feel secure, and find financial security to go a long way. but there may be a rich guy who's creepy. As far as physical appearance is concerned, oh yeah, being physically attractive gets a foot in the door. it may be why you're a date and not a friend.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 87
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make her comfortable. connect. be attractive enough to her
Posted: 12/3/2015 11:10:32 AM
I think the first few dates should be going out very casually with not a lot of money spent, museums, coffee houses with entertainment, local fairs and festivals etc. Once you are regularly dating you can cook together, shop farmers markets and create special meals, take long drives and pack a picnic. Use coupons of you have them and even save up for an occasional splurge for a special occasion. If I'm treated well and appreciated it means a lot more than any 5 course meal in a stuffy restaurant.
Great date idea: My guy and I play trivia at a local pub once a month. $0.49 cent wings and $3.00 beers / $1.50 home brewed root beer too. Plus we have a great laughs and meet some really bright people. They offer this type of thing in bars all over the country on weeknights.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 88
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/4/2015 4:15:06 PM

I know it probably sounds sexist to say women care about how much a guy makes, and also it sounds naive to assume it isn't a factor at all. But I would like to know how much of a factor it is. I will use myself as an example. I work two low paying jobs and work 6 days a week (two of those days twice) and I still am below the poverty level. Now as I talk to my female penpal in Paris they tell me that in France money should really be the lowest issue when choosing someone. I swear from me talking to her she probably thinks American women are heartless. lol. But at least in my experience it feels like I get ruled out early as if I have no potential. I guess some women have it in their head that if a guy earns far less than she that he'll mooch off of her or something? Speaking for myself I have too much pride to do that and would lose respect for anyone that would let me. But when women think about if a guy is right for them do they think of all the things that they want to buy that is only possible if her income were perfectly double or more? Or does she only factor in her income when thinking about a house and other investments, children, etc? Assuming everything else is perfectly fine with the guy how much a factor is his income?


I can't believe you're actually asking this.

Didn't you know the POF has some of the best women money can buy?
 illinigirl2168
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 89
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/4/2015 7:02:53 PM
Hi everybody, I am new here, but have been lurking for a few months. Quite interesting reading.
Just wanted to add my to cents..I have never ever in my entire life cared about money..so no not ALL women are "gold diggers"
I've also never had any guy send me a message about how much money he makes, nor do they mention it on dates, and I've been on like 80 since last February. AND I would actually like if someone used a coupon..because I use them.

Anyway, glad to be a part of the forum!
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 90
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 5:47:02 AM

I disagree.

I have no problems with a guy using coupons and it strikes me as a person who doesn't spend money carelessly. It tells me the person is careful and keeps track of his/her money. And, knowing how much money you have always appropriate - no matter if it's a lot of money or a little.


This, alone, is not indicative of a cautious spender. A cautious couponer may be a better manager of their money AND time and their investing.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 91
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 7:08:29 AM
I figure if she buys me dinner, she must really like me.

And ya know what?

I love feeling obligated to exceed her expectations afterwards :)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 92
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 7:25:58 AM

I figure if she buys me dinner, she must really like me.

And ya know what?

I love feeling obligated to exceed her expectations afterwards :)



Do you mean you won't feel used and cheap afterwards? Better take some bitter pills first.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 93
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 7:48:43 AM

There are plenty of opportunities to save a buck when out by yourself. Using a coupon on a DATE (not a “meet”) makes an impression of a thoughtless cheapskate…not a good impression. Like wearing holey jeans and a dirty T-shirt to a wedding. It’s a matter of knowing what is appropriate. IMO


I disagree. If you are splitting the bill, then you are saving some money as well. If he is paying, then it shouldn't matter how he is paying for it. Either way, you are paying nothing. A few times, a woman used a gift certificate when we went out. Didn't bother me.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 94
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 8:12:00 AM

I can't decide if certain men here in the forums whine more about women being fat or being gold diggers.


Fair enough. But certainly works both ways. There are some women that complain about the combination of the following.

Getting emails from men that don't match their requirements. Too short, doesn't have a college degree etc.
Men that are players or only looking for sex.
Men that are cheap because they use coupons or prefer to split the bill.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 95
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 8:34:19 AM
^^^
Men that rent
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 96
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/5/2015 9:25:08 AM
OP, it is not just whether a person makes a lot of money that can be an issue (sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't). it is HOW the person feels about money.

Some of the most uncomfortable to date people I have come across in the past are people who were, not just wealthy, they were LOADED. And yet they would cut coupons, buy furniture at garage sales and were so incredibly focused on what was cheapest that it disrupted just plain old normal life (and yet htey could unload a hundred million on a property without blinking an eyelash; it always bemused me).

I am not someone who is into material things; but when you can't make a decision without sweating on paying an extra fifteen cents (and drive ten miles out of your way to SAVE said fifteen cents, which don't even get me started) convenience, fun and being able to go with the flow goes out the window.

On teh other side of the spectrum is the person who lives paycheck to paycheck. With that person three things happen. You offer to pay which they get upset because they don't want to be a "burden" to which you then can't go anywhere because they can't afford to go anywhere... or you watch them sweat because they are paying for something they can't afford... which stops you enjoying it (or they ask to move in... and end up mooching off you if you let them move in).

In marriages even, money is one of the biggest issues. Not just dating.

How people approach it, how they feel about it; how they spend (or don't spend) it; who pays, when does who pay...

yes. Money is an issue. Unless BOTH people are flexible about it and on the same page.

And in that case? Money is not an issue.

That answer your question?
 HereComesYourSun
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 97
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/7/2015 6:57:29 PM
I've found out a few things in regard to men and money.

1. Just because a guy makes/has a lot of money doesn't make him a great catch.
2. Just because a guy doesn't make/have a lot of money doesn't make him a terrible catch.
3. It's more about generosity with what they do have, then how much they have.
4. Generosity is a condition of the heart.
5. Money doesn't buy happiness but I'd rather cry in a mansion than cry in a shack....!
6. It's not about what they have but what they do with it. A financial idiot is about the worst thing no matter what they make.
7. Guys who go by the tit for tat money rules are about the biggest weenies of all.
8. I personally don't like being in the position of making more money than my guy.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 98
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/7/2015 7:08:54 PM
^^^ All of that is fine.

#8 is the killer.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 99
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Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/8/2015 9:20:09 AM
Number 8 seems a little counter-productive to the whole equality thing.

A female nurse will always make more money than a male mechanic. That's just life.

But a good way to solve that whole issue... Leave money out of it. If he's financially stable, and able to pay his share of living / raising kids, does it really matter how much he has left at the end?
 cavusshallow
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 100
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/8/2015 9:26:49 AM
Its all a balancing act. Income vs. Love. More income makes up for less love. In the end, love trumps all. There is far too little of it these days.
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