Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 clamdigger50
Joined: 12/17/2015
Msg: 151
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
^^^ so men should show photos like "this is my summer cottage" "this is my Porsche" "this is a photo of my law degree (or PHD or CPA, etc)" as well as their investment portfolio. This would equate to the tit pictures some of the women post or lingerie shots or draped over the bed shots. It's odd how men don't seem to require nearly as much. And it's odd that many of the women say it's all about choice, uh no, men require an "attractive to them" woman with a kind heart and will love them and can maybe cook. Women seem to be the ones putting the price tags on everything, including themselves.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 152
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/26/2015 8:09:20 PM
^^^
Stating they own homes, aka a nest, might be appealing to some...
 Anand_scientist
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 153
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 9:52:41 AM
Women should know their worth.
 tatsuwen
Joined: 11/20/2015
Msg: 154
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 10:58:49 AM
Halftimedad you say "I briefly dated a quality woman from this site - can't say enough good things about her. She complained to me about guys who messaged her bragging about how much they had or made.

I think you might be doing it wrong." Exactly...when a guy leads with how much money and things he has you wonder what he is making up for that he lacks. Like personality etc. And you wonder if thats what he considers the most important thing about himself.

I think guys who use coupons are a bonus! Its good to be responsible with money. Too many even when they make great money spend it all! Credit cards, expensive cars, huge house they really don't need and a vacation house and they have less disposable income then the person who makes 30,000 and saves and uses coupons and doesn't eat out for lunch every day. No matter how much money you make in my opinion its always good to be smart with your money. Too many lose it. What if you lost your source of income one day - and find you have nothing to show for all those years? Maybe the housing market is down and you can't sell your house...you have mega credit card debt etc.
 clamdigger50
Joined: 12/17/2015
Msg: 155
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 10:59:47 AM
^^^ Women should know their worth? We should all know our worth yet some that a semi pretty face and a vagina will get them a free pass for life. But if you base your worth on this, you start to devalue quickly. So make hay while the sunshines as after 40 it's all downhill.

How about people start being a little realistic. Why is it always about how worth, value, money, looks and rarely do you see the words "love" mentioned?
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 11/29/2015
Msg: 156
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 11:04:45 AM
^Agreed. Personally dating is the easy part. Finding another life partner might never happen for me again, and Im ok with that. Thing is most people are not, and so they keep trying to force chemistry for a short term fix.

I'm too old for short term fixes.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 157
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 11:53:34 AM
in order to know your worth, you have to know your value. Which requires you to know yourself fully. Its also a comparative value--the more you offer of things that few people have, the more worth there is to what you offer, b/c you are unique in offering it.

How many people are really that introspective? many are just trying to make it thru a day while getting as few scars and nicks and dings as possible....and at the other end of the spectrum, I've worked w/ a few women who had no choice but to know what they were worth--guys kept coming up to them, telling them how beautiful they were, how much and what the guys would offer in order to get a date with her, what kind of effect her beauty had on him, etc. These guys just had to share the tingle these women gave them.
 mike11093
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 158
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 12:14:08 PM

Personally dating is the easy part. Finding another life partner might never happen for me again, and Im ok with that. Thing is most people are not, and so they keep trying to force chemistry for a short term fix.


It's not just that. Some people believe that the only way to be relevant is to push themselves into relationships they don't really want to be in.

I talked about this (in a way) in the "disposable generation" thread, but I think people have devalued the word "love" and everything that it actually means. Nowadays, it's a commercial emotion. Something used to gain something out of someone else.

If everyone had the attitude of being okay with not finding someone, regardless of their age, they might actually find that the relationships they find themselves in are more worthwhile and meaningful.

But I think the lazy route to take is: well, I'm single, I don't really like you, but you have things that would improve the quality of my life, so...sure, it's not like there's a line of people waiting for me...and then those same people complain about a terrible love life.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 159
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 12:26:49 PM
BINGO!

We're playing evo psych bullshit bingo, right?
 mike11093
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 160
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 12:31:34 PM

We're playing evo psych bullshit bingo, right?


Or, when people are engaged in an intelligent discussion about something emotionally driven, they're going to...IDK...discuss emotions and psychology...
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 161
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 1:02:41 PM
Emotions and psychology? How about experience. I see a couple of young guys arguing about women, life and love and your profiles say you've longed r lationship is 3 years and 6 years. Many of us have had cars for longer or socks or pets. So yes, I see "evo psych bullshit bingo".

As for money, IMO money is not an issues when you are dating in your 20s, it becomes an issue in you 40s plus. When you both start out young and have nothing it's not an issue. When you've been there/done that (especially more than once), it becomes an issue as both the man and the woman don't want to support another. I will say, many women expect to be supported or paid for.
 mike11093
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 162
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 3:50:30 PM

see a couple of young guys arguing about women, life and love and your profiles say you've longed r lationship is 3 years and 6 years.


So...your qualifier for being able to speak intelligently about either topic is...being in a relationship for greater than 6 years? (in my case 3)
...I fail to see how being with one woman for a long stretch of time can give you any kind of perspective on dating or women in general.

And, if you don't want to read 'us youngsters' talking about things like this, there is an over-40 forum.

It seems the only thing you're bringing to the discussion, what with all of your experience, is judgement and cynicism.
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 163
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 4:00:17 PM
Well, it's better than bringing no knowledge or experience and just using guess work and arrogance.

I have dated for a number of years during my life time. If you just want a succession of dates with different women the original question is moot because who really cares. If you want to meet someone hoping to make it last, then you have a topic.

So tell me, just what makes a woman happy when dating? Or a man? And what is success in dating? And what will it take to move from dating to a relationship, a long and successful relationship? And by long I mean longer than it takes bread to go moldy in the fridge.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 164
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 4:18:11 PM

Some people believe that the only way to be relevant is to push themselves into relationships they don't really want to be in.

True. This isn't a new concept by any means, it's an age-old one. Nowadays it becomes less, and those who go so far as not needing to be in a relationship and fine being single for long stretches are looked upon as 'weird' (outside basic civil traditions). Modern (western) civilization has been around only for a blink of an eye in human history. Before, people's aim in the starting position of (adult) life was to settle down and breed. Much a matter of survival to develop a family. That's not required (for many) nowadays. But people will feel weird and left out if they're not Chasing that notion in and of itself... kind of like someone living in Green Bay and not being a Packers fan. It's as feeling of the notion itself... much like some are in love with being in love (where you "insert person here" who's of your mutual 'type', as a necessary ingredient).

I see a couple of young guys arguing about women, life and love and your profiles say you've longed r lationship is 3 years and 6 years. Many of us have had cars for longer or socks or pets.

Actually, those who have been in an LTR for a really really long time are, by default, one of the last people to get Dating advice from (as opposed to Relationship advice). Some of the most clueless people about dating are the ones who are recently divorced, coming off a decades long marriage. They end up needing to re-learn as if they're a junior in high school again -- and many times will have false assumptions and predictions the same, when they're 40 or 50 something. Some aren't so clueless, but still pretty rusty, as they've been out of the dating game for so long (unless they've been living vicariously thru their single friends & their adventures for years).

As for money, IMO money is not an issues when you are dating in your 20s, it becomes an issue in you 40s plus.

It is an issue in your 20s. And 30s, of course. I think when you're dirt-poor college kids living on peanuts for-the-time-being in that phase, yeah, it means much less. But a guy who does have some money has an advantage all other things being equal, so it is an issue in the game. Beyond a guy Asking to Take a gal out to prove his worth (in that traditional dating thing), the two poor college students wanting to go out and experience fun things and such, are more expected to both contribute rather than the male always paying all the time, because that's much harder to come by. But there still is that factor with some, but to many where it is, it's to a lesser degree (because it's harder to come by in general).

I will say, many women expect to be supported or paid for.

There is a notable difference between supported/paid for when in an LTR vs two people going out on dates. Most women want the guy to at least be a financial backbone to things -- a "man", something to lean of if/when need be. Most non-working or relatively poor working women will want to be supported & paid for. With them, being in a relationship in and of itself brings joy due to fruitfulness & support (if not overrun by disdain due to past relationship(s)) that they can't have being single.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 165
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 4:28:43 PM

Or, when people are engaged in an intelligent discussion about something emotionally driven, they're going to...IDK...discuss emotions and psychology


Dafuq does that have to do with my quip about the bullshit soft science of evo psych?

I think you're thinking about you being emo. Different words have different spellings.
 mike11093
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 166
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/27/2015 5:14:03 PM

it's better than bringing no knowledge or experience and just using guess work and arrogance.


If you're trying to say that I'm using guess work and arrogance, I'm 30, not dead. I have knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, I'm 30, so there's only so much I can respectively accumulate in the years I've been able.

What does it take to make a woman happy? Depends on the woman. Can get all bent out of shape about what she wants, or I can just be myself and hope it works for her. Most women appreciate confidence, manners and intelligence. Some women like space; other women don't. It's a crab shoot. I envy women, most men are rather easily taken care of. Women require more...effort.

Success in dating is another topic that depends. It depends on what you want out of it. Most people assume that success in dating is finding a date; ending up in an LTR, but it isn't...specifically. Some people measure success in dating as being able to procure a large number of dates...but again, it's not, specifically, that either.

The only thing that I can logically quantify is failure. That's trying and coming up empty.

I've done all three, though, if 3 years doesn't count as an LTR, then...well...um...it's a good thing I'm only 30 and have so much time left to dedicate to this ideal LTR you keep talking about.

The only advice I can give about moving from dating to a relationship is that patience and compromise are important...tbh...I usually find myself dating for short periods of time before I find myself in a relationship...and it just kind of...happens. No real thought into it on my part, at least.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 167
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/28/2015 12:37:20 AM
what man gets involved with a woman with five kids and takes them all out to dinner each night? Only a fool. No one is forcing anyone to feed a family via dating lol!!
 Anand_scientist
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 168
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/28/2015 1:42:49 AM
I did that - once. I didn't consider it dating. I considered it friendship, and we're still friends. (Her children are all grown, now. I feel privileged to have contributed to a wonderful family.)

I paid for her babysitting fees when I asked her to accompany me to certain functions.
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 169
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/30/2015 7:42:56 AM

Despite what many Forum women say, most men would likely fare better here with at least a pic or two illustrating in a "nice way" that they in fact ARE "successful".


What specific kinds of pics do you have in mind?

BTW, what do you think of the pics of stacks of money?
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 170
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/30/2015 8:17:46 AM

anand_scientist says:
I did that - once. I didn't consider it dating. I considered it friendship, and we're still friends. (Her children are all grown, now. I feel privileged to have contributed to a wonderful family.)
I paid for her babysitting fees when I asked her to accompany me to certain functions.


This was a demonstration of kindness, generosity , "a real sense of propriety and class" plus a positive contribution to the next generation.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 171
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 12/30/2015 12:54:25 PM

Despite what many Forum women say, most men would likely fare better here with at least a pic or two illustrating in a "nice way" that they in fact ARE "successful".


Isn't that what the "income" box is for?
 bobbycllhn
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 172
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 1/1/2016 3:41:52 PM
It depends. For a overweight girl anyone would do. For attractive girls they want money and status.
 hawkins-kennedy
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 173
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 1/5/2016 6:54:02 PM
I was just thinking about this very same topic and I could use some outside advice. I have been dating a girl for about 9 months now, we met on POF. Things are going great in a lot of ways but there is an issue. She is in her early thirties and her biological clock is ticking. It's understandable that she wants to know if I would like to have kids one day, which I said I would. She also wants the guy she ends up marrying and having kids with to be able to support her while she doesn't work. For how long she plans on not working I am not sure, it is conceivable that she wants to give up her career and be a stay at home mom. She comes from a very wealthy family and her expectations for quality of life are high. In our most recent conversation about this topic she said that she wants to move back to the San Francisco/Bay area and have a yearly income minimum of 250K. I am a Physical Therapist and I will likely make between 90-150K unless I start my own business and it's a great success.
My issue is that I initiated an intimate conversation with her where I told her I loved her for the first time. In my mind it was a moment where we would express how we feel about each other and the relationship as we make future plans together. I may be taking a job out of state soon so I wanted to see what each of us thought about the relationship. She said she loved me also but mostly wanted to talk about her expectations of the relationship which were A) that she has kids soon and B) that she stops working and I support her and C) that her quality of life expectations are high. I really was disappointed with her response and put off by it.

It seems she is really focused on money and what I will be able to do for her and less about how we feel for each other. Is this a big red flag? Is this normal behavior for someone? I am thinking I should talk to her and tell her that I am concerned that she is more interested in my ability to be a pocket book and sperm donor for her than a "partner", but I don't know how to say this. I don't think I will use that exact wording though hahaha.

Any advice is appreciated!
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 174
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 1/5/2016 6:57:23 PM

I am a Physical Therapist and I will likely make between 90-150K

Sheesh I wouldn't complain about that either...
 hawkins-kennedy
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 175
view profile
History
Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?
Posted: 1/5/2016 7:58:15 PM
I think it's a comfortable living also. It's less about the actual $ amount and more about the concept that a guy wants to be in a relationship where the women values him for him and not the depth of his pocket book. I put actual figures to help readers gauge if her expectations were excessive. Do you think it's a red flag that I am talking to her about how I feel about her and she's talking to me about her desire to not work and be supported?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Income factor when dating women. Is money really an issue?