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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Caught the biggest cheater, omg!      Home login  
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 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 51
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Caught the biggest cheater, omg!Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I dont trust in karma, but I'm a firm believer that no good deed goes unpunished.

I might be way off base here...

But you wouldn't be defending the promiscuous action of the older women who slept with the younger guy and then got mad because she found out what she already knew because...

You yourself have a younger than 50 filter with 6 out of 7 pictures made for baiting younger men.

I mean you wouldn't be defending her actions because you could easily see yourself in the same predicament would you?

Because that's just being bias, and nobody likes biases.

You should add the tag " equal opportunity cougar " to your profile. Because you're not an equal opportunity dater, if you were, you wouldn't exclude men your own age.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 52
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Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/5/2015 7:42:43 PM

I find it amazing how people make the OP out as the "crazy" one, when she has done nothing wrong. The cheater is the one who is "crazy", and puts the health of other women at risk. He deserves to be exposed and "'punished" (for the lack of a better term). And all the crap of calling a mid 20s guy "just a little boy", and not "aware" of his immaturity is just plain BS and lame excuses. My ex husband was 25 when we got married - he did not act like this at all, and even today, many men get married in their mid 20s. Stop giving guys a cop out and the lame "boys will be boys" excuse.


The cheater is dishonest, but the OP is doing the wrong thing by going the "name and shame" route with this instead of letting it go and doing something positive with her time. I'm not here to make fun of anyone, I stand by my advice that the best thing you can do is admit you made a bad decision and move on. She didn't know this guy before she got involved with him sexually, and instead of taking responsibility for her bad decision making, she wants to take her anger out on him. Snooping around and ratting him out to the women he's involved with is an act of anger, not a benevolent act. Plus, he could be in a casual relationship with them, or they could have open relationships. Also, people generally have confirmation bias, so they believe what want even if you tell them otherwise, making your actions pointless. The best thing you can possibly do is learn from the experience and make better choices in the future.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 53
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/5/2015 8:04:34 PM

You should add the tag " equal opportunity cougar " to your profile. Because you're not an equal opportunity dater, if you were, you wouldn't exclude men your own age.


First of all, I'm not "baiting" - WTF is that supposed to mean anyways? I'm posting the same pictures that I'm also posting on my Facebook. Prude much?

There is a 14 year age limit on POF, so men who are 14 years younger than me cant even contact me. And I date up to 5 years older, so how is that I don't date "same age"? I'm actually interested in someone who is 44, have known him for almost a year. What do you have to say to that?

Also, have you ever looked at men's profiles? Most older guys won't even date women who are close to their age, let alone same age or GOD FORBID a few years older. They want someone 20 years younger, and maybe up to five years younger than their age. And you get bent out of shape and call me "cougar" because I do the same, and even allow up to five years older? That's some funny shit right there.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 54
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Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/5/2015 8:26:56 PM
Oh my apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Eric, and I'm on the devils payroll, I'm an equal opportunity advocate.

Now if you're actually 45, and not lying about your age - I applaud you. And I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt because I'm not going to lie... According to the impulse in my brain and the sensation in my genital region regarding picture 6-7... I'd drink your bathwater.

Really I have no qualms with you, for me banter is foreplay. Rawr...
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 55
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 6:45:49 AM

IME if your wronged its far more effective to just simply say 'you lied, its over, don't contact me again' - and mean it. You take control then you leave with dignity and respect. Respect for yourself and a high probability of gaining respect from him. He will learn from that and there is a fair chance that without the drama there will be a bit of him that goes 'damn'. The way the OP has handled it will only leave anyone thinking 'thank god I got away - what a lucky escape' IMO.


I don't think that at this point the OP cares what the lying ***hole thinks of her. So what if he thinks "thank God I got away" - in fact, it's good that he thinks that, because then he will be gone and STAY gone. And maybe, just maybe, next time he'll think twice before playing women like that. If there are never any dramatic consequences for shitty behavior such as lying, cheating, leading different women on, these people will just carry on and think that's it's A OK to do so, because nobody ever does anything. I personally will not hesitate for a second to turn in anybody who pretends to be single and isn't to their SO the second I find out - I'm done covering for scumbags and keeping my mouth shut and let the world and women be their playground.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 56
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 9:21:11 AM
Sometimes victims are really just volunteers.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 57
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 9:28:22 AM
^^^

Ain't that the truth!

Lots of volunteering going on...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 58
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Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 10:41:37 AM

I don't think that at this point the OP cares what the lying ***hole thinks of her. So what if he thinks "thank God I got away" - in fact, it's good that he thinks that, because then he will be gone and STAY gone. And maybe, just maybe, next time he'll think twice before playing women like that. If there are never any dramatic consequences for shitty behavior such as lying, cheating, leading different women on, these people will just carry on and think that's it's A OK to do so, because nobody ever does anything. I personally will not hesitate for a second to turn in anybody who pretends to be single and isn't to their SO the second I find out - I'm done covering for scumbags and keeping my mouth shut and let the world and women be their playground.


I wouldn't advise anyone to do this. Most people will blame everyone else besides themselves and their partner. They may not even believe you. They might also hold you responsible and think that you seduced him while knowing he had a girlfriend. She will be more inclined to believe his side of the story because she knows him better than a random woman that creeped her Facebook page. The best thing a person can do is walk away. The majority of the time, the act of telling their partner is an act of revenge, not something done to protect a friend. The situation might be a bit different if your best friend was getting taken advantage of by their spouse, but I have no reason to get even with strangers. It's normal to feel angry after you've been deceived, that's why everyone is suggesting the OP take her time with men instead of getting involved in a booty call.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 59
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 11:20:45 AM
Every younger guy that wanted just a "hook up" with me ended up wanting to marry me. There were three. One was 21 when I was 32. The other was 25 when I was 38 and the third was 38 when I was 50.

You have learned something. You do not like casual hook up type relationships. Don't try to have one again. They do not work for you OP.

Baiting = bathing suit pics obviously posing and slutty looking pics like the main one I have now. Don't be posing and then deny you are baiting. Bait is what we all do here, isn't it?
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 60
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 11:30:16 AM
^^^
LMAO, I better stay away from you.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 61
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 11:35:14 AM

Baiting = bathing suit pics obviously posing and slutty looking pics like the main one I have now. Don't be posing and then deny you are baiting. Bait is what we all do here, isn't it?


I love your honesty.

(Focus, focus, focus.)

What was I talking about?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 62
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 11:48:41 AM
Most of the guys I meet in person are younger than I am.
I'll not say why that is.
Most of the guys that send me messages of serious intent
on here are much older than me.
Most of the younger guys that send me messages on here
are just looking to "help me out"...gads. I must look like
I need help...hahahahaha!

I don't think a person can cheat unless you're in a committed
relationship with them. I get that the OP was upset the guy was
cheating on other women...with her. Not a good place to be
either.

PS Always nice to see you post Chill/Penny.

and Mr. Clooney...sorry to hear about your mom..warm thoughts
your way. And also sorry about your lovely lady, but glad to see you are
still fighting the good fight. I'm too old to message you privately...sigh.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 63
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 12:12:38 PM
Wow so you got mad cause he lied to you? You wanted some fun in the sack with a guy with nothing long term.
Yes he lied to you so now you got on top of the soap box and started to tell everyone that its not a soap box but a mountain. Is that the first time you got lied to by someone? anyone?? by George you are going to teach this fool a lesson. After you are done with him he would shake in his pants just by looking at you lol. Guess what he would just move on. Leave you there to keep howling all mad.

I think the real thing is that you got hurt that you were nothing more then a lay in the sack for him. You really wanted it to mean more to him. You wanted to be in control of the NSA relationship. For him to come to you, Do as you please cause you got what he wants. Oh well it was a hard pill to swallow (smile) that he told you what you wanted to hear and you fell for it. There are lots of women out there like you that as long as they are told what they want to hear they go blind and stupid. Well at list he got 3 more and even younger then you on his list.

Guess what women do same thing when they go out and date men and get men to spend money on them thinking they have a chance with the woman.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 64
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 1:42:13 PM
thru-out my life, I've had plenty of females who didn't have sex with me, didn't claim me as a bf, and never had an exclusivity talk. I figured I was in friendzone, esp. when they talked about how things were going with a guy they were sleeping with. Were they cheating on me? I doubt it, I don't have the right to make that claim, I wasn't a contender.

to borrow an old phrase, "it ain't real unless its happening". The OP hooked up with a guy, and she got sex. if she suspected there would be more, then she assumed. if he made an overt statement(s) to lead her to assume, then he was a jerk. i've missed it if that happened, but it sounds like they both started as a hookup. I agree with what was said in msg 55. If you ask a restaurant for steak, and you get steak, can you write up a review that you didn't get salmon?

Has there ever been a woman who's landed a hot stud, and then got told the truth by some stranger...and actually believed the stranger that what seems so perfect, isn't? or have they labeled the stranger a jealous wack-o? heck, a bunch of strangers accused a poster of something, has that poster "Changed their ways" or defended them instead? did the poster accept the validity of strangers, or did the poster assume what feels good, is right for them?

we all know that bacon and chocolate and smoking cigars is bad for us. and guess what a lot of us has done with that information.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 65
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 1:56:58 PM

If there are never any dramatic consequences for shitty behavior such as lying, cheating, leading different women on, these people will just carry on and think that's it's A OK to do so, because nobody ever does anything.


I doubt any cheater will be inclined to quit cheating just because some chick went psycho on him online. He’ll just be more careful to not get caught again.

Have you or OP considered whether there are children involved in all this useless drama?
Or is it too bad for them, too?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 66
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 2:55:07 PM
If it was just a hook-up, what exactly did to OP lose out on? Since when did hook-up equate to relationship, followed by wedding bells?

For the people freaking out about this, the best course of action is to form an anti hook-up militia, and go from bar to bar in the evenings, warning any female patron that if they hook-up with someone, the guy might have another woman or women interested in him. And hand out flyers with the warning, and set up a 1-800 number for women who suspect a guy they just met might have other females who are interested in him. And then go on the internet to every dating site, and warn every woman that guys on dating sites might be seeing someone or might be attached while on the sight. That will fix it.

And of course, it the reverse happens, where a guy meets a woman who is dating other guys, the guy is suppose to brush it off and take it like a man, and act like nothing happened.
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 67
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 6:44:19 PM


You yourself have a younger than 50 filter with 6 out of 7 pictures made for baiting younger men.


First of all, I'm not "baiting" - WTF is that supposed to mean anyways? I'm posting the same pictures that I'm also posting on my Facebook. Prude much?


Baiting = bathing suit pics obviously posing and slutty looking pics


Well, I do not agree with this view of her " baiting / slutty pics", only because she is in a bathing suit does not mean that her photos are slutty/or baiting.
I believe that she is simply proud of what she has achieved with her body by working out.
It would be different if she was posing in a bedroom, but she is NOT, those are probably vacation pics, so they don't fall in a slutty category.

NOW, did you see OP's pics?? Those ARE / were/ BAITING / slutty / low class pics, in almost all her photos the camera aimed toward her Rear or (booty as she said in her profile) and she mentions it. AND are in a bedroom or/ room Can you distinguish the difference?


On topic,

I hate liars and cheaters, for anyone in the NJ/PA area if you get messaged by a 28 yr old be careful

You are 41 with kid, he is 28 I guess with no kid, what did you expect?
With all that drama that you caused, he is scared of dating older woman, I bet he is thinking that older women are all crazy........see what you did? you ruined the fun....lol


PS
We are going on vacation to my country on Dec. I will be posting (slutty) I mean vacation beach pics sooooooo be ready.......to delete them again.... okay?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 68
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 7:44:40 PM
TrvstinKarma- I said what she did make her LOOK crazy, not that she IS crazy.
I don't give a rats patuty if someone has sex with someone younger or visa versa. (maybe not the wisest thing, but if both people are old enough to consent, then......)
It's their life, so whatever.
Here's the thing- She states she KNEW they were hooking up and only did so twice.
Good god, she just as easily could have thanked her lucky stars she got laid properly. (and I DON'T mean because of her age, I mean getting laid just right should put a smile on ANYONE'S face)
At least then, she would have been taking responsibility for a decision SHE made.
Go back and re-read her initial post.
She says she hooked up with him twice- the thing that EVERYBODY seems to be missing is that she THEN says that she contacted the G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D!
Which tells me she KNEW he had one.
You can't contact someone on facebook that you don't know exists.
BOOM!
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 69
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 8:30:27 PM

She says she hooked up with him twice- the thing that EVERYBODY seems to be missing is that she THEN says that she contacted the G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D!
Which tells me she KNEW he had one.
You can't contact someone on facebook that you don't know exists.
BOOM!


Let me tell you how I found out numerous times about guys having a girlfriend/fiancee/wife, even though they claimed to be single when I went out with them. You go to their Facebook page once you find them on there. Might have to get their full name, but sometimes you can find them with their phone number. Of course they will have no pics or any indication that they are in a relationship or involved with anybody on their Facebook because they know exactly that they are up to no good. You click on the magnifying glass on the search bar and chose either "photos of (name of scumbag)" or "posts (name of scumbag) likes". And many times, he will be tagged by the GF/wife/SO in a photo, which links straight to their Facebook page, where finally the relationship status of him will be revealed, plus lots of pics of the "happy couple". BOOM!

One guy who chatted me up online and who took me out on a date which ended with a heavy make out session, had posed as being a single dad. In fact, thanks to Facebook I found out that he was in fact married and wifey was preggers with kid number 4. But it's "my fault" for the whole drama, and I'm supposed to shut up? I don't think so. I will rock the boat and make sure they know that the "best husband in the world" is a cheating lying POS. Heck, I would want to know if I was married or involved with a cheater, before I catch some sort of STD that I might even transmit to my unborn child. And they will believe it when you are able to provide enough digital evidence of their cheating.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 70
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 9:34:49 PM
TrustinKarma- Let's stay on track, shall we?
She's talking about HOOKING UP!
A hook up means no strings, nobody is promising anyone anything, they are there for sex and that's it.
If she agreed to that, WHY does she care if he's seeing 50 women??
Safe sex is JUST as much a woman's responsibility as it is a man's.
If I go out and don't bring a condom, we decide to have sex, but OOPS, he doesn't have one either. Am I going to get mad at him if HE doesn't have one?
Nope.
How could I?
I didn't have one either. so guess what, no sex is happening that night.
The so called "single" dad in YOUR situation, he out and out lied to you, sure he's an ass.
But to compare that to what the OP did is apples and oranges.
The social media angle is a whole other issue.
You know how many men I've contacted who got access to my facebook account, ONE.
And I'm lucky, VERY lucky, that that ONE time didn't blow up in my face.
My children's pictures are there, my family and friends.
Who, in their right mind, gives someone access to that when they don't know them?
Cheating spouses, again, different thread.
Sometimes people KNOW their partner cheats and they stay anyway (I don't get that, but people do it).
Sure, you could contact them, but what you DON'T know is how they are going to react.
You could set something in motion that will burn YOU.
It's better to just consider it a lesson learned and move on.
I would rather just forget about them, make them NOTHING in my life.
The type to cheat isn't going to CARE what you do, if they cared about other people, they wouldn't cheat to start with.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 71
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Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 10:17:23 PM
Bam

Karma isn't going to be able to see the forest beyond the trees. It isn't her fault though, because responsibility isn't easy to accept. See, most people opt to live in willfully ignorant, as opposed to accepting the painful truth.

She can't accept the confines of her age. She can't accept the ramifications of her cougaring ways. So she won't accept that a younger guy who chooses to have extra marital affairs with an older women, won't be faithful to that women. She will lie about her age, because that's ok...

She won't accept that, even though she won't outright ask for monogamy, because that could yield a dangerous truth she doesn't want to know. Instead she will demand it as an unspoken rule, and then be outraged without justification when the younger guy inevitably moves on. . . Or proves to be unfaithful... and what a shocker huh? At least the OP admits upfront that she knows it won't lead to a relationship.

Basically the OP, and karma are the same person. Same desperation in the pictures, same unreasonable demands, only ones a little more heavy set, the other is a little more age weathered.

But try telling her that, amirite?

Not saying the guy isn't wrong either, as I said... I'm an equal opportunity advocate. As far as I'm concerned, the dead bury the dead in this situation.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 72
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/6/2015 11:13:12 PM
^^^ Good observation.

No matter what the subject matter, it's been quite amusing to observe that 100% of the time..without fail...Karma has to mention how many dates she has lined up, or has gone on, men she's been involved with, it's this never ending, consistent pattern of announcing *in every single post* that she's got multiple men hitting on her. The persistence of this is what makes it weird and funny..it's not just a comment in passing, it's a guaranteed aside that will be brought up whether it is relevant or not. Like a reminder or something.

There also seems to be an equal amount of complications and entanglements. Regardless, it is the need to constantly announce, in every single post she's ever made, how active, busy and pursued she is by men. It's gotten to be predictably laughable after a while. For who's benefit is this being announced? But your comparison Tango, is interesting..there may be some of the same dynamics going on.

Hey, I'm all for whatever works for whomever. Unconventional situations can succeed. But the perpetual announcements...there's this sense of immaturity that emanates every time another reminder is posted. I'm not sure what the point is to the repetition. There is a childishness desperation to it all.
 SunKist_Gal
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 73
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/7/2015 7:31:23 AM

I wouldn't be married to a player or a cheater, they are easy enough to spot. I generally go for men with morals and boundaries, they are easy to spot as well. They generally don't like easy sex they like to work for it, they are selective about who they associate with,

Well said....^^^same here.

I think all women know....sex sells.
So, to get noticed or stand out in the crowd....having provocative photos, will get most mens attention.
Thing is....Is the type of man that you attract with those pictures...the dependable, honest good guy?
I'm betting...there might be a few but the majority....not...imo.
You have a right to post any pictures you want but don't complain....the standard of men you find are liars, cheaters and just after sex.

It sucks for all of us to get old.....but I'll be damned if I will lower my standards to attract the below average men....seems silly!
JMHO...
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 74
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/7/2015 8:24:49 AM
Geeze, here we go again with the age thing - who says the liars/cheaters I've met online were younger - they weren't. MOst of them were OLDER than me, some slightly younger but not by much. Most younger men - I say it again for the 100th time - are upfront and honest, and I don't even bother to look them up on Facebook (with maybe two exceptions). They don't pretend to want anything more than a hookup, it's when they start to take things further and want to engage me emotionally. That's when I start to investigate. But have fun bashing me again, I doesn't faze me at all. And yes, I do have a date tonight.

And where do I lie about my age???
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 75
Caught the biggest cheater, omg!
Posted: 11/7/2015 8:25:05 AM
lots of women in my area with sexy pictures, boobs pushed together as hard as Capt Kirk's midsection. Not many with nip slips tho.
No idea the type of Men they want or who they draw - seems I never got the sexy to bring back :)
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