Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > inexperienced dater      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 25
inexperienced daterPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I am asking the women out there would you date a guy in his mid 30's who does not have that much experience in all departments of a relationship? Would you even give that guy a chance? Could you accept this person to have a relationship with?



.....Just an observation, but posts from alleged "virgins" that seek advice from only women are normally dudes that just want some attention.


Putting that aside and pretending I don't really think that...

At MY age, competition is fierce. Were I completely inexperienced in the dating world I would get destroyed by either a) younger, better looking or b)older, more secure.

I'm not even talking about sexual experience. I've met plenty of women who could care less about how many women I have/haven't slept with. I'm talking about relationship experience, dating experience, interactions with the opposite sex period. If you've never been in a relationship and understood what makes your partner tick, or bothered to get into the deep emotional crevices, then you're in for a rough ride this late in the game.

Sure, you can probably find yourself in a relationship in no time, but it takes trial and error to figure out the kind of person you match best with.

......at least, in my experience.

I could be wrong though...I'm single, again, so I'm obviously not so great at the relationship thing, either...it could simply be the luck of the draw...idk...I gave up on trying to make sense of it...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 26
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 11/16/2015 4:01:24 PM

I am asking the women out there would you date a guy in his mid 30's who does not have that much experience in all departments of a relationship? Would you even give that guy a chance? Could you accept this person to have a relationship with?

She shouldn't have to know until you two are going steady. If you're in your mid 30s and she's in your age-range -- it'll be a turn-off, yes. Although going to grad school and world travel can help your case, we're talking mid-30s, not mid-20s. So don't mention it or declare that you haven't really had a real live GF before. I would say, if anything, lie if you and the gal aren't dating yet but she's strongly inquiring about your past. I would just say "I've dated several women of course, but never got to the point of getting uber serious like moving in or anything. Max length of relationship was a year or so with a few of them. I've been busy with [this and that]. Better to be safe than sorry, right?"

If you're a virgin, go to a massage parlor a few times to get more comfortable with nude touching - lol.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 27
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 11/26/2015 9:44:53 AM

what i mean by all departments is that I am a 36 year old virgin who has yet to start to date. I want some help and advice please


No matter what, there's always tons of stupid reasons to not date someone out there. Some will say not having experience is a reason to not date you. Some will say that too much experience is bad. If your longest relationship wasn't long enough. The list goes on and on. Some will atuomatically assume you're some social outcast that should never date, and others will give you the chance. Some will only give that chance if you're hot enough, while some couldn't care less about how you look.

But basically, just don't show that you have a lack of experience. Dating isn't this thing that you struggle at until something clicks and suddenly you know how to date. If you're capable of having and keeping friends you're capable of dating. Treat the girl with respect, be yourself, no matter how shy or awkward that is (remember, if you put on an act, you have to put on that act for potentially the rest of your life), don't be a jerk, and act like a socially competent person. That's it, that's all dating is. Just remember that the little things matter. Something as simple as opening the door for her goes a long way. It's not hard
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 28
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 12/1/2015 2:08:52 AM
In my opinion people who put too much importance on experience are treating dating and relationships like a job interview. Hardly sounds romantic.

As for women thinking its easy for men to get dates, I am sure most women are intelligent enough to realise this isn't the case. That said it is probably a good idea not to mention it as it can be a possible negative and if she asks and then rejects its a possible flaw on her side.
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 29
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 12/1/2016 7:57:25 PM
i have felt this way for a couple of years now and it truly seems this happens to men more than women, the vast majority of people in the world who surpass their mid-20's, reach their 30's and beyond without ever having had a relationship before, it's almost always guys, men, and thats probably because guys are still expected to be the initiators.
 johndh82
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 30
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 12/27/2016 12:22:40 AM
You're not the only one in this boat. I'm 34 and have only landed 3 dates. 2 of them didn't get passed the first date; and the other lasted about 2 months. I haven't been able to get more since. Shoot, I can hardly get anyone to respond to my messages. It can be depressing for sure. I've been reading these forums and using the information to make my attempts better. I just posted a profile review thread earlier. Hopefully, I'll get some good pointers and suggestions.

Good luck!
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 31
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/9/2017 5:59:09 AM
i doubt anyone here knows or has ever heard of a woman who is over 30 and never had a boyfriend before, but i'm sure many can think of a few or plenty of guys, men over 30 who have never had a girlfriend before.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 32
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/10/2017 12:57:17 PM
Single moms get more sex then single dads.

I think you're on to something
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/10/2017 3:02:54 PM
i'll bet I knew a few ladies of that age who hadn't had a date..but since I wasn't interested in dating them either, I didn't bother to get to know them well enough to ask a personal question.

single moms get more action? I guess being less bitter pays off. maybe those single dads should drive the minivan, so they got a bedroom space on wheels to go wherever they go.
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 34
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/10/2017 5:55:00 PM
were you referring to my post? but ya, i think thats just human nature, part of the game, women are far less at risk than men are at being perpetually single like that.
 lovingypz
Joined: 10/20/2016
Msg: 35
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/19/2017 9:43:00 PM
Why do you always judge by a persons looks, I agree it's important but if he's good looking you'll date him, even if he's a immature, arrogant lying cheating broke****bum.... You will always be getting the short end cuz when you see his true colors you'll already have a vested interest so your screwed because hes good looking, wow too bad...
 lovingypz
Joined: 10/20/2016
Msg: 36
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/19/2017 9:44:14 PM
Why do you always judge by a persons looks, I agree it's important but if he's good looking you'll date him, even if he's a immature, arrogant lying cheating broke****bum.... You will always be getting the short end cuz when you see his true colors you'll already have a vested interest so your screwed because hes good looking, wow too bad...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 37
view profile
History
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/20/2017 7:53:11 AM

Why do you always judge by a persons looks, I agree it's important but if he's good looking you'll date him, even if he's a immature, arrogant lying cheating broke****bum....

I don't see it quite that way. First, no, she won't, nor should she date below-average looking Joe just because he won't cheat on her and he has a stable job. So below-average looking Joes shouldn't be in the mix anyway. Second, the better looking guy -- it's a certain Type of gal who's going to go too much for the type of persona you describe. He's projecting himself as Alpha -- that's why. There are other better looking guys than Joe who she won't bite on because he's too Beta ("I just wasn't feeling it"), so a lot of the time, Sally's not running with a guy purely on looks... it's his swagger/attitude/persona that's more Alpha -- and sometimes further fueled by him being "ehh" about her and her wanting to win him over.

But trust me, there's More than enough gals Not like that. When guys think women are too much like that, I think they're actually doing the same thing -- barking up the wrong trees. They're eying/scoping/chasing gals that wouldn't make good catches for a relationship. There's Plenty of gals out there who will go out with guys who aren't above them in looks -- and aren't so "alpha" either.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 38
inexperienced dater
Posted: 3/21/2017 6:23:26 PM
If I'm attracted to them, inexperience would not matter.

I think for any case, them having common sense, will matter more than experience.

If they're inexperienced, and have zero common sense--its hopeless.

I really don't fancy having to teach someone everything.

If you have good instinct and common sense, you'll be fine.

I agree on talking about your inexperience is not a good thing.

Only time it really is, is when you're a teen. When I was an young teen, telling a girl I was a virgin seemed to get me more attention.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > inexperienced dater