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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....      Home login  
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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 51
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Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I had a date tonight, a second date. We went dancing last weekend, I had a very nice time, she seemed to as well. So I asked her out again. Sometime between last weekend and this weekend, things took a bad turn. I really don’t think I did anything to cause it, but ..

First thing this morning, like 8 a.m., she texts me that she has to get up early Sunday for something to do with church, so she can’t stay out late tonight. I really dislike a date telling me upfront that she has to go home early, but whatever. So I was thinking we would go dancing again, but she wants a movie. Okay, no problem, we go to see Bridge of Spies. We’re pulling into the parking lot at the theater and she tells me, “I’m really not much of a movie goer, I tend to fall asleep after the lights go down.”

WTF?? Why did you suggest a movie then? But I didn’t ask, I bit my tongue. Sure enough, she fell asleep. So afterwards, I take her home. No good night kiss this time, nothing. This one is now officially dead. I hate it when that happens, especially when I did absolutely nothing to cause it. Somewhere between last weekend and this weekend, she changed her mind about me. Maybe I didn’t communicate enough, who knows?

History now. But it’s late on Saturday night, I’m alone, and feeling blue.
 phinatic14
Joined: 5/10/2013
Msg: 52
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/14/2015 11:47:53 PM
Let's face it folks: dating absolutely sucks these days! On the guy's side: if you aren't Prince charming within the first 2 minutes of meeting someone, you're screwed. If the magical, all-important "chemistry/connection/spark" doesn't develop right away: you're done, and you get the "nice guy" speech the next time you talk. I find those words to be a cop-out for; you weren't funny enough, you don't have an exciting job, you aren't hot enough, not enough money, the high heels rule, etc.

On the female side: if you don't look like a model, you're done. If your chest isn't big enough, or you have never seen the inside of a gym, that's it. Any else have anything to add?

I find both sexes to be at fault here. Maybe more-so on the female side. The media/Disney has brainwashed you into believing your entitled to this or that. Just boycott dating completely. It's all too much work, on both ends. If you want a best friend or someone special, get a dog. They don't disappoint.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 53
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/14/2015 11:57:58 PM
Phinatic.
You are of an age where women your own age are seeking a husband and baby daddy.
Biology recommends that she choose a good gene pool and a good provider.
You are seeking nothing serious and your occupation is 'genius'.

See the problem?

p.s. You are a good looking man.
So the problem is not looks.
Glancing further at your profile you are working in the social science (whatever that means) and aim to become a doctor of medicine.
Job and are a medical student?
With access to a lot of young intelligent women on campus....
My heart bleeds for you.


Now if you were a fat 56 year old woman????? lol
 Hosch_bau
Joined: 11/11/2015
Msg: 54
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 12:27:12 AM

We’re pulling into the parking lot at the theater and she tells me, “I’m really not much of a movie goer, I tend to fall asleep after the lights go down.WTF?? Why did you suggest a movie then? But I didn’t ask, I bit my tongue. Sure enough, she fell asleep.


Well at least you know she was telling the truth. :/
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 55
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 1:01:59 AM
"I find both sexes to be at fault here. Maybe more-so on the female side."

Actually, EVERYONE is f*cked up.

Entitlement is a two way street.
 Hosch_bau
Joined: 11/11/2015
Msg: 56
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 1:26:20 AM

If the magical, all-important "chemistry/connection/spark" doesn't develop right away: you're done, and you get the "nice guy" speech the next time you talk. I find those words to be a cop-out for; you weren't funny enough, you don't have an exciting job, you aren't hot enough, not enough money


Well I'll be damned....I'm un and done then if that's what she really meant. :/
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 57
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 4:49:14 AM
She was being nice and followed through on the second date but her heart wasn't in it.

The thing about dating when we are older, someone seems like a good idea one day, but when we process it a little, we can't imagine repeating the experience.

A lot of people value their freedom, above wanting to be attached, or discarded a few weeks later. I am seeing more in our age group.

You have made it very clear on here that you like to move fast, and that you are in it for the sex. Maybe she didn't like your brand of lovemaking. Sex with someone you don't have a connection/history with can be downright awkward, like two people each doing a different dance. Not something to look forward to a second time.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 58
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Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 5:28:09 AM
The good ol' days must have been before I joined...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 59
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 6:48:32 AM
"The good ol' days must have been before I joined.."

Does that mean you're taking responsibility for the forums going down the poopshoot?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 60
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Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 7:24:19 AM

Olivoil
She was being nice and followed through on the second date but her heart wasn't in it.

Exactly the impression I had after the second date. After the first date, I had an entirely different impression.


The thing about dating when we are older, someone seems like a good idea one day, but when we process it a little, we can't imagine repeating the experience.

That would explain it. Something certainly changed between date 1 and date 2.


A lot of people value their freedom, above wanting to be attached, or discarded a few weeks later. I am seeing more in our age group.

Yes, you’re on to something there. She even talked about enjoying her freedom, which didn’t bother me, as I do the same, and did not see myself as any kind of threat to her freedom.



You have made it very clear on here that you like to move fast, and that you are in it for the sex. Maybe she didn't like your brand of lovemaking. Sex with someone you don't have a connection/history with can be downright awkward, like two people each doing a different dance. Not something to look forward to a second time

Up till here, you were 100% correct, but here you missed the boat. Not your fault, not enough facts.

We had not become intimate, far from it. At the end of the first date, she initiated the kissing, but it was what I refer to as “light kissing”. I went with the flow, and did not push for anything more.

I thought she was something special, I wanted more to develop, and I was willing to wait for that. Every damned time I feel that way, the train goes off the track. I am really beginning to think that the surest way to end a budding relationship is to NOT push for sex.

Which probably has something to do with what you said about valuing their freedom more than wanting to be attached. If I act like I’m interested in long term, than I am a threat to their freedom.

ON EDIT: Upon re-reading what I have written, it looks like I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth. I was “not a threat to her freedom”, but at the same time, I “wanted more to develop”. I guess “wanting more to develop” did constitute being a “threat to her freedom”.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 61
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 7:26:57 AM
"On the female side: if you don't look like a model, you're done. If your chest isn't big enough, ..."

Phinatical - It ain't the size of your chest these Hypergamists are measuring ... no Sir! It is another body part. Hence, the first criteria the modern F'ed western Hypergamist uses to filter out "unsuitable" men is their height. (This is one of those topics that has been researched and discussed everywhere intelligent people who look at the science of human behaviour are allow to discuss such, hence not on POF - but I try to sneak it in). And a man's height is only a pretense of that real measure these sacked out old ladies are going for. I wish they had the honesty to just ask a man for his penis dimensions in their profiles.

I have seen so many Hypergs with really ugly and/or stupid guys. Oh, but they were tall - strutting around like they won the big game - well I guess they have. So my question is to the ladies here - what are you doing to yourselves that causes such internal "re-structuring"? I say just let zucchinis go back to just being vegetables!
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 62
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 7:36:14 AM
I agree that this "problem" swings both ways.

No one is responsible, however, except ourselves.

We expect social systems to offer us instant gratification, the same way we get our coffee; fast, efficient and with a smile.

The truth is that as concepts evolve and our basic values change, we need our social systems to change as well. Failing that, we're bound to find ourselves standing next to an old arcade game, expecting it to produce 3d images and have a gripping plot.


Since POF doesn't have a physical representation, the people that want to kick the machine end up complaining in the forums.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 63
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 8:15:02 AM
I just surveyed 20 females profiles from my last "matched" announcement. 6 had specific height requirements.

So ladies - how many men have bust size requirements in their profile? Or even height requirements?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 64
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Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 8:17:36 AM
Maleman999...

Does that mean you're taking responsibility for the forums going down the poopshoot?


I meant for it to sound that way. Actually, I keep hearing about how the forums were back in 07-08. I've seen some of the old threads from 10 years ago and they didn't seem any better than now.

On the dating side, I would think the advent of social networking sites and the hookup culture has changed the landscape of dating.

I've followed enough stupid trends in my younger days and will now travel my own path. I will pick and choose the trends that will benefit me the most.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 65
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 8:18:50 AM
I wonder if attractive men are familiar with hypergamy?
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 66
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 9:25:53 AM

I keep hearing about how the forums were back in 07-08. I've seen some of the old threads from 10 years ago and they didn't seem any better than now.


We had mods back then and some of them were VERY dysfunctional. You won't find any of the really good threads. They have long been deleted.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 67
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 9:37:47 AM
Back when 10 chat windows would yield a couch partner and a bottle of wine.

Ohenry, I think you handled it well. I had a rude date snap at me after disclosing she ran a background check on me. 3rd date.

I drove her home and dropped her off. No kiss. No opening the door. She did thanks for the good time. I said take if easy. The look on her face walking to her door was....priceless.
 areyoukiddingmoi
Joined: 11/11/2015
Msg: 68
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 10:36:27 AM
OHenry is an inspiration to all guys. He has a great attitude . . . and despite his age and weight . . . lets nothing stop him from trying to get what he wants. Some you win, some you lose.

I have never . . not once, seen O-Henry rag on any woman for the way she treated him. He may not always understand them, none of us do . . . but he accepted them for what they were.

Many of the hags and old ladies here could learn much from reading his posts in my opinion. If only they thought of guys the same way Henry sees women.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 69
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 12:36:59 PM
Henry,
I think you are right.
She changed her mind from date 1 to date 2.
You may never know why.
Maybe her choice of movie was a way to honour her commitment of a second date and minimise conversation and interaction.
At least she slept with you...lol sorry. Could not resist.

Mentalgiant... what was it she discovered?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 70
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 1:59:35 PM

Back when there were enough folks participating in the Forums that you could actually find someone whose pics you liked, a profile you could relate to and enjoyed reading AND whose Forum input made them a good candidate for a real "spend time together doing stuff" Relationship, to be willing to fly an hour or 2 or 3 or 4 to meet them?

It's still happening here today...
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 71
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 2:02:19 PM
I've posted on a couple of other big forums for long periods of time, and on each couples ended up forming. It's bound to happen on every forum, where tons of people are not mysteriously deleted, of course... One such couple was formed on one of my old forums that is both international and interracial... and they're married and living in Illinois today.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 72
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Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 5:30:05 PM
Freaky: De-man a refund. u deserve it
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 73
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 6:23:10 PM


At least she slept with you...lol sorry. Could not resist.

Sorry Henry but I agree that is funny. LOL
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 74
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 7:43:22 PM

I have never . . not once, seen O-Henry rag on any woman for the way she treated him. He may not always understand them, none of us do . . . but he accepted them for what they were.


I agree with this statement. OHenry is the dude.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 75
Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....
Posted: 11/15/2015 8:44:09 PM
"I am really beginning to think that the surest way to end a budding relationship is to NOT push for sex". OHenryx

I don't think we should be pushing, for anything to do with the opposite sex.

Can I share? Dating and this whole complicated man/woman thing carries a lot less pressure if you can see it this way.

I was taking the elevator down with my last load of stuff, after leaving my then fiancee. I was distraught and probably crying. A lovely older lady, Scottish, I think, figured it out and said to me
"If it were for ya, it wouldn't go by ya".

I took it as "it won't stick, or be right, if it (he) wasn't right for you.
If you look at things this way, there is no need to take things personally, in dating, career, life in general...
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Any guys here miss the good ol' days of POF when....