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 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 76
Online dating women have the upper handPage 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Sorry that happened to you Diana.

Please block him when he tries to contact you again in 2 months.

FWIW Diana...

I was approached by a gal I that met for a meet n greet 6 months ago.

She needs help with her rent and offered an exclusive relationship for only $400 a week, with cohabitation to happen once my lease had expired.

Claims other men have offered to help her but she found me nice and easy to get along with, so she chose me.

Arrrggggghhhhhhh
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 77
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 6:37:51 AM

Women have the upper hand with OLD and there is one fact that always proves it. - Initial contact.- With OLD men make the initial contact about 85% of the time. That means the men have to be proactive and the women can just make choices.


patchjoker (see message 69)

If only that were actually true.....I can't tell you how many times I've sent nice, well thought out messages to these guys out here and don't get as much as a "thank you for your message" back.

If I were to sit and wait around for some guy to make the first contact......I'd be waiting for a long long long time.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 78
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 6:54:00 AM

If only that were actually true.....I can't tell you how many times I've sent nice, well thought out messages to these guys out here and don't get as much as a "thank you for your message" back.

If I were to sit and wait around for some guy to make the first contact......I'd be waiting for a long long long time.


Yes, I send first contacts as well. I have never had an issue with it. Depending on the site I will favorite a man and then go back and send him a message. In the last year I have only gotten one response. It was from a man who told me not to contact him again because I am too old. He is 53.

I do find that when I am the one who makes the first move (talking in real life) it does not bode well for future interactions. I tend to be attracted to men with aggressive personalities so if I am the one doing all the work ... it usually doesn't work.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 79
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 7:52:04 AM

Yes, I send first contacts as well. I have never had an issue with it. Depending on the site I will favorite a man and then go back and send him a message. In the last year I have only gotten one response. It was from a man who told me not to contact him again because I am too old. He is 53. [/qutoe]

I rarely get responses either.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 80
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History
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:08:50 AM

castlehillsmile
I got stood up this weekend.
Third 'date' stood up.
Ahh well. His loss. I had even packed the condoms in the hope of breaking the drought.

I’m sorry, it happens, and we just have to keep on keeping on.

Was this the younger guy, 30 or whatever? Seems funny that he would give up BEFORE earning “the cookie”. Maybe he thought you were making him work too hard for it?


ShowboatSupreme
I was approached by a gal I that met for a meet n greet 6 months ago.

She needs help with her rent and offered an exclusive relationship for only $400 a week, with cohabitation to happen once my lease had expired.

Claims other men have offered to help her but she found me nice and easy to get along with, so she chose me.

Arrrggggghhhhhhh


$400 a week? How much is her rent?

Oh, yeah, that’s right, you’re in California, so that’s probably cheap rent. Certainly wouldn’t be here.

I never talk to the women who look / sound like they’re in it strictly to sell it. But I have talked to women, even met a couple, who turned out not to have a regular place to live and were very interested in learning that I lived alone …
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 81
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:16:31 AM
Her rent is $1700 a month.

Yet another lass told me if I build a nest, they'll come .

Sorry, if I build a nest, she better bring more to the table besides TLC.
 goldenbear60
Joined: 11/15/2015
Msg: 82
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 8:43:59 AM
$400 a week? At least she stated her price up front, many hide it in the guise of a relationship instead of using the old fashioned term.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 83
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 9:13:45 AM
It isn't just women who size up your home. When I just bought my house someone that I had recently started seeing came with tape measure in hand to see if my living room was big enough to fit his projection screen entertainment center. NO IT'S NOT!
Another wanted to know if my garage was big enough to hold his welding equip. NO!

However, if I really like you there might be room for your shoes under my bed. (winks) lol

Le Pew
 billyjack55
Joined: 11/18/2015
Msg: 84
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 9:22:56 AM

It isn't just women who size up your home. When I just bought my house someone that I had recently started seeing came with tape measure in hand to see if my living room was big enough to fit his projection screen entertainment center. NO IT'S NOT!
Another wanted to know if my garage was big enough to hold his welding equip. NO!


That just amazes me that there are actually people that would be so assumptive as to do either one.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 85
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 10:05:32 AM

It isn't just women who size up your home. When I just bought my house someone that I had recently started seeing came with tape measure in hand to see if my living room was big enough to fit his projection screen entertainment center.


I'm a single homeowner, too, but my house is...small. And needs work...

Doesn't, however, stop people from trying to suggest? their way into my life. Had one guy offer to mow my yard for free if I gave him a room...just some random stranger approached me as I mowed...

Then, at work, I met this woman about my age that I was actually interested in. Turned out, she already had a boyfriend, so I thought I was friend-zoned. Until last Tuesday, she cried on my shoulder that he kept kicking her out of his house and then taking her back again. She told me she needed to "find a place" to go where he couldn't just throw her out anymore. Laying it on heavy that I happen to listen to her more than her own boyfriend.

Sorry, I'm not THAT guy.

Thing is, she's still kinda hinting that she needs to find a place...and soon. Do I happen to know anyone with a spare bedroom for her and her kids? No, I don't.

Thinking about telling her I'm gay. (I'm not).
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 86
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 1:10:23 PM
^^^

yikes...yeah, that sounds stable (not; those poor kids; she needs to dump the guy and find her own place period; not a crash or dump place to keep going between; or she's going to lose her kids. Tell her so the next time she asks you; and then give her listings for a place for affordable rent. Or be gay, but she might have a cute friend :)




agreed on it not only being women who are interested in the size of someone's house. God only knows the number of guys over the years who when seeing the big house on the big lot on the lake, all of a sudden are EXTREMELY interested right away, professing love right away and, oh, by the way they are going to be moving soon, wouldn't it be cool if they could just maybe move in together (a couple have offered rent when that was told to be a no (hoping i'd decline).

but when they are reminded I also have my three adult children, my rabbit and my daughter's cat and not really crazy about someone else being supported when i'm trying to have some that are already here flying the coop soon, they get a clue... (though I've been offered mowing services, handyman services, weeding services, etc. ; so I guess I should be grateful that they didn't just want to mooch; but still; people moving in together is kind fo a big deal; and i work my butt off to have this place; supporting my kids as they get their legs under them is one thing; don't reallyw ant to support a fully grown adult who should be able to support themselves. i wouldn't expect them to do it for me either.

I quit having people over even if we're dating; because I am sick to death of being asked if a guy can move in.


ugh.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 87
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 2:20:36 PM
I also have had multiple men want to move in.
Never measure with a tape though.

One did. Came for dinner on the 3rd date, stayed overnight and left 18 months later.
Moved his teenage daughter in for a while as well. Stupid me supported them both.

Had one man tell me he was applying for a transfer in his job to somewhere very close to me.
Shortly after I told him that I was not interested in him moving in and made suggestions of alternative accomodation near his new work he vanish. Reappeared a couple of years later. Actually just turned up to my house with no notice. I did ask him if he got his transfer... No.

Had one man offer to paint my house in exchange for moving in. He had not seen my house nor did he know my address. He just knew I was doing renovations. It had come up in conversation.

Another man vanished never to be seen again after I refused to loan him money (again). He asked why... My answer.. Because it will not be repaid. He hung up and has been silent since. Never repaid the previous loan either.

Had lunch with a man earlier this year who told me his accountant suggested that he find a rich woman to support him.


___________________________
Regarding my no show this weekend.

1st meet. I paid for my drinks he paid for his
2nd....... I brought food he brought drinks
3rd........ No show.

Not sure how that is making him work too hard for anything. Especially when he was the one who contacted me and wanted to see me again and again.




_____________________________


No wonder I am trying to come to grips with being single forever.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 88
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History
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 2:41:05 PM
Anyone who can accept disappointment as just another part of life, and who is happy with their life the way it is, has the upper hand.
People who are positive and realistic, embrace change, challenge, and who concentrate a large part of their daily energy to all things that matter most, have the upper hand.
Having those elements will carry over into anything that person is involved in, including dating, online dating, friends with benefitings, hanging outing, netflix and chilling, loving, long term relationships, marrying.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 89
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 2:43:28 PM

Anyone who can accept disappointment as just another part of life, and who is happy with their life the way it is, has the upper hand.
People who are positive and realistic, embrace change, challenge, and who concentrate a large part of their daily energy to all things that matter most, have the upper hand.
Having those elements will carry over into anything that person is involved in, including dating, online dating, friends with benefitings, hanging outing, netflix and chilling, loving, long term relationships, marrying.



+1
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 90
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 3:06:46 PM

Anyone who can accept disappointment as just another part of life, and who is happy with their life the way it is, has the upper hand.
People who are positive and realistic, embrace change, challenge, and who concentrate a large part of their daily energy to all things that matter most, have the upper hand.
Having those elements will carry over into anything that person is involved in, including dating, online dating, friends with benefitings, hanging outing, netflix and chilling, loving, long term relationships, marrying.


^This. /thread.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 91
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 4:32:16 PM
I am wiling to be that attractive men over 40 do really good OLD. They are so rare. Classic handsome men who are educated and successful are like needle in hay stacks. They must get a deluge of emails from younger women and older women and in between.
Second are the classic beautiful younger woman. They have guys younger and older seeking their attention.
Third is everyone else.

Lastly the is African American women. I know but studies have shown they do not fair well online dating regardless of looks, education or areas they live in.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 92
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 4:39:31 PM

And messages are a terrible way to quantify "success".


Getting more emails from women doesn't guarantee success. But at least in my experience, it improved my chances in terms of getting more dates from OLD.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 93
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 5:53:33 PM
From the way that men were griping about women not ever stepping up and messaging first, I was thinking maybe I was an odd duck out. I never had a problem messaging men but, I would say that less then 25% of the men would reply back. Not even a polite "Thanks but No Thanks" or the dreaded "Fack Off".

I am glad to note that I am not the only woman to who this happened. It was dismal at best.

Le Pew
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 94
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 6:46:09 PM

Lastly the is African American women. I know but studies have shown they do not fair well online dating regardless of looks, education or areas they live in.


This is not the first time I've heard that. I wonder why...


Getting more emails from women doesn't guarantee success. But at least in my experience, it improved my chances in terms of getting more dates from OLD.


Well, yeah, you throw enough darts at the wall and you're bound to get one to stick. Guess I wasn't saying that it really means anything, as most of the messages I get are scams/not my...type/dumb. I might get one or two messages/month that are actually worth my time.

Sometimes, though, smart people send the dumbest messages...ugh...


From the way that men were griping about women not ever stepping up and messaging first, I was thinking maybe I was an odd duck out. I never had a problem messaging men but, I would say that less then 25% of the men would reply back.


This might sound weird, but I'm thinking that the reason you don't get many replies is because of the very stigma people are complaining about. That being, women don't send messages. If they do, there must be something wrong with them. <----Not saying I believe that, but...social stigmas are social stigmas.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 95
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 6:57:23 PM
mike ^^^

This might sound weird, but I'm thinking that the reason you don't get many replies is because of the very stigma people are complaining about. That being, women don't send messages. If they do, there must be something wrong with them. <----Not saying I believe that, but...social stigmas are social stigmas.


That is an interesting way of thinking about it. I thought it very normal. since back before children whenI was dating, the crowd I ran with had no objections to women asking men or approaching them. Maybe it is more taboo on a web site? I guess I am not sure I agree, because even if I contacted a man just to comment on something in his profile there still would be no acknowledgement in general. It can't be that big of an anomaly for a woman to speak first.

I guess it is kind of moot at this point because the last guy I contacted first is still seeing me. :)

Le Pew
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 96
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 7:22:19 PM
When I am dating I also message men. many do not reply, but I would say more than half do reply, even if just to say they don't feel we are a match.

Not one man has ever asked to move in with me! Now I feel odd.
 mike11092
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 97
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/22/2015 7:31:05 PM

That is an interesting way of thinking about it. I thought it very normal. since back before children whenI was dating, the crowd I ran with had no objections to women asking men or approaching them. Maybe it is more taboo on a web site? I guess I am not sure I agree, because even if I contacted a man just to comment on something in his profile there still would be no acknowledgement in general. It can't be that big of an anomaly for a woman to speak first.


That's the thing: I'm not saying I "agree" with it. It's just something I've observed.

IME, it's nice to have a woman legitimately approach me...but the combination of scammers/phony profiles and what have you, on the internet, leaves one wondering who, exactly is messaging you?

I'm curious if girls pose as guys to message other girls...

Point is, generally speaking, I'm not likely to reply to any message sent to me, simply because I don't care if I miss out on one legitimate message compared to the amount of spam I would have to reply to...and waste time on.

So, a number for you: 1/10 of the unsolicited messages I receive are from someone interested in actually dating me. The others fall into any number of different spam classifications.

I don't imagine I'm the only person who experiences this. Therefore, for the most part, I pay attention to replies. Though, on rare occasions, I do reply to well-written messages.

The funny part is: none of this actually prevents one from encountering the spammers...but I've found that the majority of them are the one's that initiate contact.

Maybe I'm jaded........................
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 98
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/23/2015 1:56:47 PM
Take the negativity and stuff it....for better terms....woman are bigger players than men....meaning the ones who want some sort of relationship....met some and just by their demeaner they act like little kids that dont get their way....I say whats on my mind without BS....all those cliches can be caned like the people who say them....wanna bee high school kids!
 Long_Shot_Kick_D_Bucket
Joined: 11/15/2015
Msg: 99
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/23/2015 6:17:31 PM
Just move on!! I love how some act as when the first few messages sent don't pan out then that sex is the blame for their why nots!! Be yourself. There is no reason to (and you shouldn't) tailor yourself for the person you want to get with. That will show insincerity.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 100
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/23/2015 6:30:35 PM

Just move on!! I love how some act as when the first few messages sent don't pan out then that sex is the blame for their why nots!! Be yourself. There is no reason to (and you shouldn't) tailor yourself for the person you want to get with. That will show insincerity.


I agree with you also. Maybe the internet dating was created for the insincere people... Or the insecure people.
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