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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 301
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3rd date really?Page 13 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Some people are comfortable having sex on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date or prefer to wait until there is some kind of relationship going on. In my experience most men wont wait too long and will pass on to the next prospect. It all depends. intimacy takes time to develop as does a caring relationship. I am getting the feeling that you have not dated much in the last few years and are not sure of how to proceed. Go by your feelings and not by what others may say and do.

By the way you dont have to get necessarily naked altogether and there is always the soft subdued light and the glass of wine. lotions and potions, to soften the whole experience at your time of life.
 sapphiresky242
Joined: 11/17/2015
Msg: 302
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/6/2015 8:37:03 PM

By the way you dont have to get necessarily naked altogether and there is always the soft subdued light and the glass of wine. lotions and potions, to soften the whole experience at your time of life.


...at your time of life?? What the hell does that mean?
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 303
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/6/2015 9:39:10 PM

..at your time of life?? What the hell does that mean?


LOL, An assumption was made. You know. A woman over 60 couldn't possibly be comfortable getting naked in front a man? Without soft subdued light, of course a little alcoholic beverage AND lotions and potions.

From OP's profile:
Hiking
Ballrom Dancin
Camping
Rafting
Playing with my grandchildren
Dancing
Weight training

Even without a picture, I have a mental image of a woman comfortable in her own skin.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 304
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/6/2015 11:37:23 PM

It's not just the third date, some guys want to get busy on date one. Talked to this guy on POF, we exchanged messages and he asked me out. We were supposed to go to a restaurant last night, and he suggested a place that is in a city close to him, but a bit far from me. I told him that we should meet more half-way, and went on that he wanted to invite me to his place after dinner "for a glass of wine" because he doesn't like to be out and around people. Needless to say, I told him I'd pass on meeting him. This guy claims to be looking for a relationship and he is my age. Can't stand it when men think women are stupid and try to spring those lame "let's have wine at my place" BS.


Exactly. The guy I started this thread about was that way. We messaged and met right away, since we only live 15 minutes apart. Our first coffee meet did last quite awhile, and he asked me to go to dinner right away. I was attracted to him, and wanted to get to know him better. He lives out of town, and I live in town. The restaurants are in town. He asked me to go over to his house after dinner which would have meant driving out of town into the boonies to an almost perfect stranger's house. I declined his invitation and things went downhill from there.

I had to hide my profile because there are so many red necks in this town that I have no interest in, and I don't see the point of having my picture on there if I search and can't find one person I'm interested in sending a message to, that doesn't live 4 hours away.
 crabdipper
Joined: 11/7/2015
Msg: 305
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 1:29:33 AM

Even without a picture, I have a mental image of a woman comfortable in her own skin.

Same here. Even a dumb arse like me knows this is the age most women are comfortable in their own skin.

I know one 70. Doesn't look a day over 60. Could show most 50's a thing or two, probably three. I guess if SHE ever stops calling she decided to settle down with a decent, respectable guy.

This place is funny as heck. It's amazing how few don't understand what's going on in the gray haired boys and girls world.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 306
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 8:52:55 AM
What amazes me is that so many old folks ascribe any importance at all to sex. Its not a particularly novel experience, it has not major downstream consequences like children, and its already happened many thousands of times. Its commonly available in exchange for some minor investments in social courtesy, and for most people, its really of declining urgency. Its just a way of making someone feel good for a few minutes.

Bourbon is almost as good, and who agonizes over Jack Daniels?
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 307
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 9:06:34 AM

Bourbon is almost as good, and who agonizes over Jack Daniels?


? ? ? ? ? Walts? ? ? ?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 308
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 11:44:36 AM

What amazes me is that so many old folks ascribe any importance at all to sex. Its not a particularly novel experience, it has not major downstream consequences like children, and its already happened many thousands of times. Its commonly available in exchange for some minor investments in social courtesy, and for most people, its really of declining urgency. Its just a way of making someone feel good for a few minutes.


Speak for yourself. Not all men (or women) lose interest in sex as they get older. This might be the case for men with low testosterone levels, ED, or other health issues that are interfering with desire or performance, but it's certainly not true for everyone.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 309
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 11:50:26 AM
^^^Still at it 3 times a night, 7 nights a week are you?

Of course everyone is different. However, I did not suggest that people loose interest, only that it does not dominate every working moment as it did in the days of youth.
 crabdipper
Joined: 11/7/2015
Msg: 310
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 2:49:05 PM

Still at it 3 times a night, 7 nights a week are you?


Me too. I just wish I could find a partner.
 BeckyHT
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 311
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 9:18:26 AM


“Still at it 3 times a night, 7 nights a week are you?”

“Of course everyone is different. However, I did not suggest that people loose interest, only that it does not dominate every working moment as it did in the days of youth.”


I think about the ‘why is it?’ a lot. Yet I still don’t have the answer, and likely won’t. Why is it that some have much higher sex drives?

The only answer I come up with, is some/many people have other desires equally ‘high”. Meaning, some like reading, or researching, or interactions with other intellectual or nonintellectual people, or hobbies, etc. Some like filling their lives with amazing things that do not require sex to be dominant.

Takes me back to the ‘why is it?’
 cavusshallow
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 312
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 9:32:27 AM

Of course everyone is different. However, I did not suggest that people loose interest, only that it does not dominate every working moment as it did in the days of youth.


Yea you did, you essentially asserted there was no importance to sex after a certain age. Instead, what you should have said is there was no importance to you, which would have been a far more reasonable statement.

Sex is the glue of intimacy for better or worse. Without it, intimacy is much more difficult.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 313
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 10:03:58 AM
What has always amazed me about the forums is how complete strangers ascribe all kinds of thoughts, characteristics, attitudes and beliefs to me.

I always have and continue to believe that sex is an important part of life, a natural and normal part of life and an enduring part of a relationship. What I don't believe is that it requires any particular set of rules about when and why it happens, and I don't believe that it is a commodity or currency for use in negotiating the power structure of a relationship.

I think that any lasting relationship will be based on many more factors that the simple act of sex, and I believe that focus strictly on the incidence and timing of sexual interaction is quite pointless if you have already had your family and don't want another one.

I can enjoy the company of a woman for who she is, and if it leads to a mutually enjoyable sexual relationship, so much the better. If not, I can still enjoy her company. Even if she has no physical appeal for me, I can still enjoy her company. People are, in my view, much more that a piece of tail.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 314
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 10:20:56 AM

PassionateSunnyGal
Btw the idea that a man who admits to paying women for sex would not be someone I would be concerned or feel the need to justify myself too, who has to pay for sex in 2015!!!!!!!

Item 1: Everyone pays for it, one way or another. Either with money (directly or indirectly), or with time, energy, attention, … Nothing in this life is free.

Item 2: You either have a reading comprehension problem, or you just flat don’t remember what I actually said. Quoted here, again:

ohenryx in msg 290
And get this, she didn't ask for money until afterwards. I was prepared to be asked up front, often happens, but we had dinner, made out in the car, went to the motel, and only when I was taking her home did she ask if I had any spare money to help her out. When asked up front, I politely decline, and end the date early.


I try to be polite and show respect for everyone, and that includes “working girls”. Not my thing, but I really try not to judge.


scorpioinOregon
The restaurants are in town. He asked me to go over to his house after dinner which would have meant driving out of town into the boonies to an almost perfect stranger's house. I declined his invitation and things went downhill from there.

Men and women are often on different time tables when it comes to having sex. That does not mean that you’re right, and he’s wrong, or vice versa. Just means that you don’t see eye to eye. If you can’t work it out, reach a reasonable compromise that just means you’re not a match. No reason for anyone to get their underwear twisted into a knot, just move on to the next candidate.


halcyon_skies
Speak for yourself. Not all men (or women) lose interest in sex as they get older. This might be the case for men with low testosterone levels, ED, or other health issues that are interfering with desire or performance, but it's certainly not true for everyone

Hallelujah! Can we get an “Amen, Sister!” from the choir!


rearguard*2
I did not suggest that people loose interest, only that it does not dominate every working moment as it did in the days of youth.

I’ll grant you that one, there is some truth to that statement. Not every waking moment, but still quite a few of my waking moments are concerned with sex. And I really, really hope that does not change.
 OswaldSpengler
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 315
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 10:31:22 AM
My good friend (m) drinks so much that he has rendered himself a sexual dud. No interest what-so-ever in women. Not gay ; just asexual. Mmmm. Well, I think women whom have lost their mojo should seek out heavy drinkers. Never at a loss for a good time ; free spending and of course not interested in child rearing. No long range planning ; spontaneous. No sexual desires ; just let the "good" times roll. Every pot has a lid.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 316
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 4:44:52 PM
what self respecting woman would get involved with a man who is an alcoholic and clearly not normal. It is so rare to be asexual that it is only that he is deeply unhealthy. He would not remember the "good times" for a start and
it wont be long before his liver packs in.
 OswaldSpengler
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 317
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/9/2015 9:00:11 AM
I agree folks. I'm pretty happy with my mate. Hear tell , some folks my age lose interest. My gf says about one half of the guys on here our age have ED. I say about half the women on here have no intention of sexual activity and just want to party around. More interested in "good times" as opposed to sexual adventure. Our conclusion: These 50 somthing "party animals" should encounter the sexually diisenfranchised and have a meeting of the dysfunctions. A match made in Milwaukeee?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 318
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/9/2015 1:41:56 PM

My gf says about one half of the guys on here our age have ED.


It sounds like she was a busy woman.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 319
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/10/2015 4:30:29 AM
Thanks Maleman.

I just had the best giggle of the week, and the best part, it's only 4:30 in the morning here, and I get to smile before I flick the switch dealing with another shiat show. The biggest problem of today's show?

I'm in charge of it.
 OMally2015
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 320
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/12/2015 10:31:33 PM
Then go dutch. I recommend it. It never serves us to be a purchase or investment and you will be free to do what you want without any of the weirdo obligitory nonsense we've had fed to us for 4+ decades.
 OMally2015
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 321
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/12/2015 10:33:42 PM
Pardon my ignorance, but what is that? >>> "sexually diisenfranchised "
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 322
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/13/2015 12:44:52 AM
showboat

You may have fallen in love at first sight with the woman you married, I don't know. But I would have been leery of a woman who would sleep with a stranger myself, regardless of the attraction. I get that the chemistry must have been there, but still....... how many other women have you slept with on the first or second date and it has turned into something significant????? Just asking.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 323
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/13/2015 5:07:19 AM
Only 1. My 3rd ex.

I have never tried to have sex on a first date. I don't even bother making a move so to speak.

Any time it's happened was when she was...aggressive.
 OswaldSpengler
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 324
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/13/2015 7:26:15 AM
Actually , by the 2nd. I was informed of expectations. They sounded like a lot of fun. I was in. It's been nearly 4 yrs.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 325
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/13/2015 9:42:04 AM

LetitiaLeGrande
showboat

You may have fallen in love at first sight with the woman you married, I don't know. But I would have been leery of a woman who would sleep with a stranger myself, regardless of the attraction. I get that the chemistry must have been there, but still....... how many other women have you slept with on the first or second date and it has turned into something significant????? Just asking.


It might be best to first ask, “How many times have you had ‘something significant?’”

Then you have to ask, “Exactly what is ‘something significant?’”

For reference, I have had better than 250 initial meets from dating sites. Probably about 1 in 10 slept with me on the initial meet. (Yes, I know, I am well under the national average of 1 in 3, I have to work on that!)

From among all of those initial meets, I have had about 6 actual dating relationships (more than 2 or 3 dates). Split about 4 to 2 between those who slept with me on the first date, and those who didn’t.

So, doing the math – a woman sleeps with me on the first date (10), results in 4 dating relationships, that gives us a 40% chance. A woman doesn’t sleep with me on the first date (240), and only 2 dating relationships develop. That’s 120 to 1, under 1% chance of success.

Okay, okay, let’s talk about the reality here. Some of those women who “give up the cookie” on the first date do have mental / emotional problems. But many of them are just people who are not hung up on old fashioned ideas of morality, they don’t care what other people think, they know life is short and you have to go after what you want. Those are my kind of people. Those women are a “match” with me, so we are very likely to get along.
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