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 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 368
3rd date really?Page 16 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Familiarity breeds contempt you know
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 369
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/16/2017 12:07:01 PM
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 370
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/16/2017 3:47:11 PM
Wasn't that illegal in states at one time?

(Never sounded tasty to me)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 371
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 9:35:47 AM
Wait a minute here!

There is a post missing in this thread.

Someone had posted, after message 382, talking about when Absinthe was made legal in the USA.

Yes, definitely, if I back up and look at the “Over 45” page, I see the last post in this thread was made by CBGB77, and it is now gone.

Do we have a new mod, deleting posts?

Nah, doesn’t make sense, who would care about a post stating when Absinthe was made legal? Probably just another screw up by the world class poor software used to drive these forums.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 372
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 10:11:17 AM
This site is a hunk of shit. I just got a message telling me I had reached the maximum number of times I can participate in a thread, and I didn't even have that many posts in it.

At any rate, one of my responses in it was to a post you had made about what you can do to meet younger women. My response - if you're a Dom, build a good dungeon, then attend a local munch and show off pictures of it. Your work is done.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 373
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 11:06:59 AM
hey I just got that, too, for the same reason. it must be henry's fault :)

my answer is, first, you absolutely positively have to find a younger woman who is receptive. any girl who acts/dresses like a young girl, isn't going to impress her friends with an older bf, she's going to impress them by dating the hottest guy their age with status. find a young lass who isn't superficial, who is mature for her age, who wants to experience life, and as Adam Gilad would say, you as an older man offers exactly what she's looking for--maturity and experience.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 374
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 11:10:11 AM

Wait a minute here!

There is a post missing in this thread.

Someone had posted, after message 382, talking about when Absinthe was made legal in the USA.

Yes, definitely, if I back up and look at the “Over 45” page, I see the last post in this thread was made by CBGB77, and it is now gone.

Do we have a new mod, deleting posts?


There is a "Delete Post" link at the bottom of each post. You can delete your own post within the first few minutes after you post it. That's probably what CBGB77 did.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 375
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 2:18:46 PM
Damn, what have I done now? That’s okay, I’ll take the heat. As the veteran of a 27 year marriage, I’m used to taking the blame, I understand my role in life. (smile)

Gto, I’m not looking for any woman that young. I never send initial messages to any woman under 49 (absolute lowest), and here on POF I’m limited to 53 and up. Heck, to me a good looking 50 something is “an attractive younger woman”. I do sometimes get messages from younger women, but that is nearly always about my pocketbook, not about me. But not always.

In my 8 year odyssey since my divorce, the youngest I had dated was 37. That is, up until this year. Back over the summer, I received a message from a 24 year old, said she wanted to meet me. She neither sounded nor looked like a money grabber, so I met with her, and went on 2 dates. A very interesting story, over all, but not for this PG rated site.

I am not very concerned with age, I just want someone that I find attractive. And as I have said before, the percentage of women who look attractive (to me) gets smaller and smaller with age. The great majority of women in their 20’s look quite attractive. By the time you hit women in their 60’s, there are damn few that you would turn around to take a second look if you passed them on the street. But there are a few!

TPOYD, I’m not much of a Dom. I have played the game a few times, just as I have played many other games. Whatever an attractive woman desires, I’m going to try and deliver.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 376
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 3:22:36 PM

Back over the summer, I received a message from a 24 year old, said she wanted to meet me. She neither sounded nor looked like a money grabber, so I met with her, and went on 2 dates. A very interesting story, over all, but not for this PG rated site.


Awww... c'mon Henry. Let's hear about your dates with her. You can give us the rundown of what transpired without getting into specifics.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 377
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 6:41:18 PM

This site is a hunk of shit. I just got a message telling me I had reached the maximum number of times I can participate in a thread, and I didn't even have that many posts in it.


I've had the same thing happen. Some older threads had these kind of limits on top of the 2 of the last 10 posts.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 378
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 8:18:56 PM

halcyon_skies
Awww... c'mon Henry. Let's hear about your dates with her. You can give us the rundown of what transpired without getting into specifics.

All right, you asked, I’ll try to summarize. She sent an initial message, from Ok*Cupid, said she liked my profile, would like to meet me. I was hesitant, for a number of reasons, but I’ve always been a risk taker, and god knows I’ll talk to anyone. We exchanged a few messages, she did shift work, mostly evenings, but we managed to work out a meeting for Saturday afternoon at a coffee shop. Not Starbucks, one of the more interesting places down in Montrose.

The conversation went fairly well, we talked about doing a real date, but nothing definite. I walked her back to her car, did not try for a kiss, was feeling a little … hesitant, I guess, a little out of my comfort zone. She calls me while I’m driving home, says her roommate wants to borrow her car, can I pick her up when she gets off work at midnight. I of course agree.

Midnight rolls around, I pick her up, ask if she wants a drink or just to get home. She says “I’m too tired to get a drink, but I’m definitely in the mood, let’s go to your place.” I’ve heard that the younger generation of women can be that direct, but it’s my first experience with that. And naturally I didn’t object.

This all happened on Saturday, Monday is her night off, we go out to dinner in a fairly nice place, and then back to my place. We talk a few times the rest of the week, mostly texting, come the weekend I expect to see her again, but she says she’s too tired after work. Monday evening, she texts me, asks why I haven’t been over to pick her up. I say, “I’m sorry, did we have a date?” She says, “It’s my only night off, you were supposed to be here!”

I try to recover gracefully, she hangs up, I wait until the next day to text an apology, thinking she’ll get over being mad. She never answers my texts, or phone calls, and I haven’t spoken to her since.

I have left out the most interesting parts, just tried to summarize the social or dating aspects of the … affair? Whatever it was.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 379
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 9:04:03 PM
good one whatsamatter..
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 380
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 9:05:02 PM
ohenry
I was wondering the same thing, some posts are going missing for sure. Is there a sneaky moderator?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 381
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/20/2017 10:38:42 PM

This all happened on Saturday, Monday is her night off, we go out to dinner in a fairly nice place, and then back to my place. We talk a few times the rest of the week, mostly texting, come the weekend I expect to see her again, but she says she’s too tired after work. Monday evening, she texts me, asks why I haven’t been over to pick her up. I say, “I’m sorry, did we have a date?” She says, “It’s my only night off, you were supposed to be here!”

I try to recover gracefully, she hangs up, I wait until the next day to text an apology, thinking she’ll get over being mad. She never answers my texts, or phone calls, and I haven’t spoken to her since.


Henry, that's a weird story. Why did you feel like you owed her an apology if you didn't ask her out again for Monday? If you did ask her out again for that day, but you forgot about it, I could understand it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 382
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/21/2017 6:44:22 AM
I know I would feel I owed her an apology, b/c that was how I was raised. I used to work with some younger people, and noticed there is typically a difference in....social graces :) The mature may put themselves into the shoes of others, easier than the immature will.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 383
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/21/2017 8:05:49 AM

halcyon_skies
Henry, that's a weird story.

Yeah, I know. The whole experience was a bit surreal.

halcyon_skies
Why did you feel like you owed her an apology if you didn't ask her out again for Monday? If you did ask her out again for that day, but you forgot about it, I could understand it.

There were a number of things going on there. I wanted to see her over the weekend, but she declined, too tired from work, which I can understand. But I have the same kind of problem with Mondays, they tend to be the most hectic work day for me and I very seldom feel like doing much after work.

On the other hand, Monday was her only evening off, so she wanted to go out, and I get that. I felt like I should have stepped up and asked her out, and in some small way I failed by not doing so. I could have taken off half a day, and been raring to go Monday evening. On the other hand, this “relationship” was almost certain to fail anyway, so …


gtomustang
I know I would feel I owed her an apology, b/c that was how I was raised. I used to work with some younger people, and noticed there is typically a difference in....social graces :) The mature may put themselves into the shoes of others, easier than the immature will.

My many, many years of experience with women has taught me that when a woman gets upset and emotional, it is my job to apologize. Doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong, it’s my job to apologize. That is, if I value the relationship and want it to continue. Later, after the dust has settled, you can have a real conversation about what happened and why.

On the subject of “younger people”, from my advanced age I sometimes forget what it was like to be that young, to be experimenting, for everything to be new and fresh and “the first time”. Possibly, just maybe, this young woman simply wanted to try out an “old man” just to say that she had tried it.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 384
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/21/2017 8:29:38 AM

I know I would feel I owed her an apology, b/c that was how I was raised. I used to work with some younger people, and noticed there is typically a difference in....social graces :) The mature may put themselves into the shoes of others, easier than the immature will.


If anyone was being immature, it was that woman. The most she deserved in the way of an apology from Henry was: "I'm very sorry you feel upset."

If you continually apologize to people when you've done nothing wrong, eventually you'll be viewed as a doormat---someone easily manipulated.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 385
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/21/2017 10:04:23 AM

I know I would feel I owed her an apology, b/c that was how I was raised.


There are a lot of things I was "raised" to believe and do that ended up being utter bullshit. Being raised a certain way doesn't necessarily make it right. My mother and uncles were all raised to worship their "Daddy". (which they still refer to him as today, and it's sickening) They were taught to believe even if he pounds your face with his fist or beats you with a broomstick, "you don't ever raise your hand to your father!!!"

Bullshit. I never knew my father, but if my stepfather had ever attempted inflicting any physical abuse on me in my later teen years, I would have broke his f*cking neck, and I believe he knew it.

At some point in your life, you have to think for yourself. Apologizing when you're clearly not at fault is one of the worst things a man can do. If a woman notices this pattern in a man, I can guarantee you her respect for him will sink like the Titanic, and she will ultimately dump him.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 386
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/21/2017 2:17:40 PM

Apologizing when you're clearly not at fault is one of the worst things a man can do. If a woman notices this pattern in a man, I can guarantee you her respect for him will sink like the Titanic, and she will ultimately dump him.


I take issue with anyone............ who, feels the need to run at the mouth with, "Sorry / Oh, I'm sorry / Ohhhh I am soooo sorry".
No need to apologize, unless.................... one intended to cause harm / had every intention to be insulting. / rude.
No need to apologize, when circumstances are completely accidental.
No need to apologize for stuff one has no control over. Sh-- happens.

I agree with Pig. I have stopped communication with men who just insisted, they should apologize.

Me, "It's cold in here", Them, "I'm sorry", Me, "So you made it a point to make it cold in here? You intended to cause me to be miserable?" Them, "Well no, I'm just sorry". Me "Stop with the apologies for stuff you have nooo control over. It's annoying, and a waste of your time and effort. Them, "Ok, sorry"

LOL If he was busy with his "Sorry's ", there would never be a 3rd date!
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 387
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/21/2017 3:28:28 PM
Ladyinred0407-" LOL If he was busy with his "Sorry's ", there would never be a 3rd date!"
I can understand this point of view, but I can also understand people who err on the side of caution and over apologize, from time to time.

If asked if I think in black and white, I respond the majority of the time that I, mostly, think in between, grey, if you will.
The glass isn't half full or half empty, it's a glass of water. I have a tendency to be emotional, but I can also be pragmatic and level headed.

I think what GTO meant was more about his upbringing and it matters. I can relate to an old school upbringing. Those of us raised that way, we are programmed, practically from birth, to have manners.
Come to the South and try to tell people not to say "Yes mam or no mam, yes sir or no sir." I've had people ask me not to say it, but I will still say it, out of habit, before I can manage not to say it. When I say it after they ask me not to, the next thing out of my mouth will be..............."I'm sorry". :D

Show me two types, one that apologizes too much, the other who never does, even if they are wrong and I'll pick the first type person, hands down.
Of course the ideal is between the two, someone who doesn't over apologize, but will if they know they messed up. I try to be that way, really hard. I don't always manage it, but I try. :)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 388
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/22/2017 4:08:09 PM
I will agree, I wouldn't apologize constantly, that does get old. I was to have dinner with an old friend last night, and showed up late due to holiday traffic and an accident closing down the highway. So, I apologized when I showed up late, and when I left. Some might think that's a lot of apology, but I figure that was "enough"--I didn't apologize for my part in it, just that it happened. I will say, some women don't want an apology, some want just recognition, and yes, their are wimpy guys who do apologize too much.

"On the subject of “younger people”, from my advanced age I sometimes forget what it was like to be that young, to be experimenting, for everything to be new and fresh and “the first time”. Possibly, just maybe, this young woman simply wanted to try out an “old man” just to say that she had tried it."

>>I will confess, I had a good chance with a younger lass, and missed it b/c I was raised to court, when I should have just brought her home. Pig's right when he says some of the things we were raised with, are BS. anyway, that lass had daddy issues. There's a few reasons why a young lady might prefer an older one, and its good to keep them in mind when the breakup happens--it may not have to do with us :)
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 389
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 4:44:03 AM
Damn....
Now I know why I'm single.
I'm sorry, it's a Canadian thing.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 390
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 8:56:32 AM

I will agree, I wouldn't apologize constantly, that does get old. I was to have dinner with an old friend last night, and showed up late due to holiday traffic and an accident closing down the highway. So, I apologized when I showed up late, and when I left. Some might think that's a lot of apology, but I figure that was "enough"--I didn't apologize for my part in it, just that it happened. I will say, some women don't want an apology, some want just recognition, and yes, their are wimpy guys who do apologize too much.


- Bravo. Saying "sorry" when you misbehave is important. But you only need to say it once. Let's not be groveling wimps, that's not attractive ;)

Everybody makes mistakes, we are human. The best men are man enough to apologize when they do something wrong.

I've even made mistakes. Once!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 391
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 10:12:36 AM

Damn....
Now I know why I'm single.
I'm sorry, it's a Canadian thing.


Large country, sparsely populated.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 392
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 6:43:27 PM

Are you really comfortable with a person, enough to get naked after 3 dates?

Yeah. Now, taking photos -- that's different. But if I can get naked with random dudes in a locker room -- I surely can get naked with a cute chick at the end of date #3. :) How comfortable you are is like a taste-factor. Highly influenced by your peers, lifestyle, etc.

The days of sex for recreational reasons are gone.

Yes, sex is now for intellectual reasons. No fun allowed! If fun in any way is your driving force, you're a bad boy. We all know girls don't do it for fun. They do it strictly to make babies.

I feel like I have to care about a person and be really comfortable with him before there is going to be that kind of intimacy.

Because that's how you've been conditioned, thus, that's where your comfort-zone lies. For better or worse.

I've read the forums enough to know that guys don't want to spend money on dates if they don't think it's leading towards the bedroom. I'd rather go dutch treat if that's the case.

Well, if I don't think my dates with a particular gal are ever going to lead to sex -- I'm certainly not going to pay, let alone even go on a Real date with her. What's the point? Being more or less just-friends, but "playing house" on a faux date? No thanks. If you mean going to the bedroom at the end of That Date Itself -- no, there's no trend like that about guys at all.

The type of guys who I think you refer to -- for the most part only want to pay for everything if they know the girl Actually Likes him. He doesn't want to pay for a date she agrees to because she's "got no plans, he's not ugly," and her interest is in the Experience of Being taken out -- where he Could have a chance, after it gets underway. A guy always wants to avoid that unless he's chasing a crush. Guys you refer to end up having been going out on dates with many not-so-interested gals that didn't pan out... where yah, the guy-always-pays things stings even more. :)

I don't follow the 3rd date rule. I have to feel safe with a man before I even think about sleeping with them.

I would think a gal should only go out on A date if they feel safe with the guy. So by your rationale, you should be sleeping with a guy on any date when you click. "So what do you think about that Ben guy?" "Oh, I don't feel safe with him, but, he seems worthy of going out on a date with."

But at this age of my life, I can choose to wait and be picky.

What does that have to do with a stage in life, tho? :) "Oh yeah, back in high school, I had no chance to choose to wait. I had to put out fast, and often. Now, at this stage in my life, I can choose to wait and be picky." "That makes sense, me too."

IF I don't feel safe then I'm not going to invest in it.

... but a date? Personal safety's for the birds when he's paying, right? ;)

I am not very concerned with age, I just want someone that I find attractive.

If one's not in LTR-or-Bust mode -- thus, open to casual dating -- yeah, age shouldn't mean anything. It should only play a role in attraction or LTR potential. If the attraction is there and both are open to casual dating -- it's game on.

I received a message from a 24 year old, said she wanted to meet me. She neither sounded nor looked like a money grabber, so I met with her, and went on 2 dates. A very interesting story, over all, but not for this PG rated site.

Damn! Nice. AND she wrote You. Win Win.

By the time you hit women in their 60’s, there are damn few that you would turn around to take a second look if you passed them on the street. But there are a few!

I (usually) avoid hitting women in their 60s. 50s? Game on. ;) Kidding, kidding. I've never "hit it" With women in their 60s, although I have with women in their early 50s, when I was 25, 30, and just last year. I have seen attractive women in their 60s... attractive enough for a guy like me in his 30s for a roll in the hey-hey-hey, but they're pretty much just on TV.

She calls me while I’m driving home, says her roommate wants to borrow her car, can I pick her up when she gets off work at midnight. I of course agree.

Oh man, a great way to top off a coffee-house 1st date with a 24 year old when you're 2x her age or more. At this point, I'd be salivating (assuming she was cute and all).

She says “I’m too tired to get a drink, but I’m definitely in the mood, let’s go to your place.”

Damn! She cuts to the chase! DJ Henry X, in 'da house!

I know I would feel I owed her an apology, b/c that was how I was raised.

That wasn't a positive way to be raised, but (hate to be blunt), a negative way. Apologizing for something you didn't do wrong when accused of being wrong -- is not only false, but only perpetuates bad behavior in society. It's not social graces. I think showing Empathy is, but not apologizing for something you're falsely accused of (thus admitting to something you didn't do).

Being raised a certain way doesn't necessarily make it right.

Totally agree; it's something people overlook. Something is not good because it's tradition. Something we all should remind ourselves of. And people won't question theirs if the underlying reason is of good spirits, unfortunately. A reminder to put things in perspective: Maw & Paw are in that over-glorified nostalgic household growing up that certainly meant well, aren't following their maw & paw's maw & paw's maw & paw's way about things. It evolves over time. It's one's part to do so, too -- for the Better.
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