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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > 3rd date really?      Home login  
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 389
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Now I know why I'm single.
I'm sorry, it's a Canadian thing.
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 390
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 8:56:32 AM

I will agree, I wouldn't apologize constantly, that does get old. I was to have dinner with an old friend last night, and showed up late due to holiday traffic and an accident closing down the highway. So, I apologized when I showed up late, and when I left. Some might think that's a lot of apology, but I figure that was "enough"--I didn't apologize for my part in it, just that it happened. I will say, some women don't want an apology, some want just recognition, and yes, their are wimpy guys who do apologize too much.

- Bravo. Saying "sorry" when you misbehave is important. But you only need to say it once. Let's not be groveling wimps, that's not attractive ;)

Everybody makes mistakes, we are human. The best men are man enough to apologize when they do something wrong.

I've even made mistakes. Once!
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 391
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 10:12:36 AM

Now I know why I'm single.
I'm sorry, it's a Canadian thing.

Large country, sparsely populated.
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 392
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3rd date really?
Posted: 12/23/2017 6:43:27 PM

Are you really comfortable with a person, enough to get naked after 3 dates?

Yeah. Now, taking photos -- that's different. But if I can get naked with random dudes in a locker room -- I surely can get naked with a cute chick at the end of date #3. :) How comfortable you are is like a taste-factor. Highly influenced by your peers, lifestyle, etc.

The days of sex for recreational reasons are gone.

Yes, sex is now for intellectual reasons. No fun allowed! If fun in any way is your driving force, you're a bad boy. We all know girls don't do it for fun. They do it strictly to make babies.

I feel like I have to care about a person and be really comfortable with him before there is going to be that kind of intimacy.

Because that's how you've been conditioned, thus, that's where your comfort-zone lies. For better or worse.

I've read the forums enough to know that guys don't want to spend money on dates if they don't think it's leading towards the bedroom. I'd rather go dutch treat if that's the case.

Well, if I don't think my dates with a particular gal are ever going to lead to sex -- I'm certainly not going to pay, let alone even go on a Real date with her. What's the point? Being more or less just-friends, but "playing house" on a faux date? No thanks. If you mean going to the bedroom at the end of That Date Itself -- no, there's no trend like that about guys at all.

The type of guys who I think you refer to -- for the most part only want to pay for everything if they know the girl Actually Likes him. He doesn't want to pay for a date she agrees to because she's "got no plans, he's not ugly," and her interest is in the Experience of Being taken out -- where he Could have a chance, after it gets underway. A guy always wants to avoid that unless he's chasing a crush. Guys you refer to end up having been going out on dates with many not-so-interested gals that didn't pan out... where yah, the guy-always-pays things stings even more. :)

I don't follow the 3rd date rule. I have to feel safe with a man before I even think about sleeping with them.

I would think a gal should only go out on A date if they feel safe with the guy. So by your rationale, you should be sleeping with a guy on any date when you click. "So what do you think about that Ben guy?" "Oh, I don't feel safe with him, but, he seems worthy of going out on a date with."

But at this age of my life, I can choose to wait and be picky.

What does that have to do with a stage in life, tho? :) "Oh yeah, back in high school, I had no chance to choose to wait. I had to put out fast, and often. Now, at this stage in my life, I can choose to wait and be picky." "That makes sense, me too."

IF I don't feel safe then I'm not going to invest in it.

... but a date? Personal safety's for the birds when he's paying, right? ;)

I am not very concerned with age, I just want someone that I find attractive.

If one's not in LTR-or-Bust mode -- thus, open to casual dating -- yeah, age shouldn't mean anything. It should only play a role in attraction or LTR potential. If the attraction is there and both are open to casual dating -- it's game on.

I received a message from a 24 year old, said she wanted to meet me. She neither sounded nor looked like a money grabber, so I met with her, and went on 2 dates. A very interesting story, over all, but not for this PG rated site.

Damn! Nice. AND she wrote You. Win Win.

By the time you hit women in their 60’s, there are damn few that you would turn around to take a second look if you passed them on the street. But there are a few!

I (usually) avoid hitting women in their 60s. 50s? Game on. ;) Kidding, kidding. I've never "hit it" With women in their 60s, although I have with women in their early 50s, when I was 25, 30, and just last year. I have seen attractive women in their 60s... attractive enough for a guy like me in his 30s for a roll in the hey-hey-hey, but they're pretty much just on TV.

She calls me while I’m driving home, says her roommate wants to borrow her car, can I pick her up when she gets off work at midnight. I of course agree.

Oh man, a great way to top off a coffee-house 1st date with a 24 year old when you're 2x her age or more. At this point, I'd be salivating (assuming she was cute and all).

She says “I’m too tired to get a drink, but I’m definitely in the mood, let’s go to your place.”

Damn! She cuts to the chase! DJ Henry X, in 'da house!

I know I would feel I owed her an apology, b/c that was how I was raised.

That wasn't a positive way to be raised, but (hate to be blunt), a negative way. Apologizing for something you didn't do wrong when accused of being wrong -- is not only false, but only perpetuates bad behavior in society. It's not social graces. I think showing Empathy is, but not apologizing for something you're falsely accused of (thus admitting to something you didn't do).

Being raised a certain way doesn't necessarily make it right.

Totally agree; it's something people overlook. Something is not good because it's tradition. Something we all should remind ourselves of. And people won't question theirs if the underlying reason is of good spirits, unfortunately. A reminder to put things in perspective: Maw & Paw are in that over-glorified nostalgic household growing up that certainly meant well, aren't following their maw & paw's maw & paw's maw & paw's way about things. It evolves over time. It's one's part to do so, too -- for the Better.
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