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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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The fearPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
If you are overweight as you suggest you can go some way to losing that and feeling more confident. It will increase your chances with women that you desire.

Also if you do connect with a woman from here and she agrees to meet, then you will gain confidence with the experience. As long as you are honest and genuine that is all you can do.

It is kind of scary and no one likes to be rejected but it is part of the dating game.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 10/8/2015
Msg: 27
The fear
Posted: 11/29/2015 4:56:00 PM

Message #17:
When I first got on POF, there was a tab at the top for Forums, and your most recent 5 Forum post comments were actually listed at the bottom of your profile.


I never liked to have the most recent post comments listed at the bottom of my profile, I am glad they removed them.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 28
The fear
Posted: 11/29/2015 10:12:29 PM
^^ I think it is a great idea to have recent/all posts and comments linked to your profile.
Posts on here can be a wonderful insight.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 29
The fear
Posted: 11/30/2015 8:25:27 PM

It is kind of scary and no one likes to be rejected


Which is why, despite "liberation", most women still prefer the men to do the initial reaching out, online and in real life.

Why upset the status quo and set yourself up for more angst than is necessary.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 30
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The fear
Posted: 11/30/2015 10:47:28 PM
Keep calm

And

Dont suck

Or do till you get it right.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 31
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The fear
Posted: 12/2/2015 1:22:11 PM

Not so fast....Men are just as bad, if not worse. -

If a woman doesn't look like she walked out of the pages of a fashion magazine she is rejected faster than anyone can blink.

- Trust me, I get it all the time ---- in spite of avidly trying to live a healthier lifestyle. - Even if we are in the process and making an effort....it doesn't matter.


Hahahahaha! Not even remotely true, It's the other way around.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 32
The fear
Posted: 12/2/2015 2:40:53 PM
Sorry nth degree I agree with


Not so fast....Men are just as bad, if not worse. -

If a woman doesn't look like she walked out of the pages of a fashion magazine she is rejected faster than anyone can blink.

- Trust me, I get it all the time ---- in spite of avidly trying to live a healthier lifestyle. - Even if we are in the process and making an effort....it doesn't matter.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 33
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The fear
Posted: 12/2/2015 10:38:33 PM
Actually if you look like trash, regardless of what sex you are, its not going to yield positive results. The only offset is (potential) desperation, but even that has limitations.

I think generally if you look like you made an effort, and are making an effort in other aspects of life, and don't Photoshop your pictures... then there shouldn't be too much to worry about.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 34
The fear
Posted: 12/3/2015 7:16:02 AM
Dimmer switches and wine are cheaper then Photoshop
 Sweetness_and_Light
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 35
The fear
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:29:53 AM
^^^^^^^^^

than THAN THAN
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 36
The fear
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:32:14 AM
Good catch.

Their, they're and there still trip me up :(
 Sweetness_and_Light
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 37
The fear
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:33:29 AM
You are still my fave sweetie!
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 38
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The fear
Posted: 12/4/2015 10:30:30 AM

Sorry nth degree I agree with


I know you do, but you're what's called "wrong"
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 39
The fear
Posted: 12/11/2015 12:58:00 PM

^^^^^ Pimp, lawyer ... no discernible difference


- I hate to say it but he's right.

As for the original question... as long as you have a body pic in your profile there won't be any surprises.
 Fiery_Heart
Joined: 1/15/2015
Msg: 40
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The fear
Posted: 12/15/2015 7:23:16 AM

bigrichhall1978 said:

I guess my fear is that this is a largely image based method of meeting somebody and I'm quite fat, so my chances of rejection are significantly higher than average.


I've found that women would rather the man be larger than smaller, so at least you're on the better side. :-)

If you would like to fix your weight issue:
1. Go to a gym
2. Hire a personal trainer. They will set you up with a diet plan and workout routine, and guide you through everything step by step.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 41
The fear
Posted: 12/15/2015 8:52:14 AM
Fear is an illusion created in the mind to deal with something that you do not understand.

The problem is that you are setting yourself for failure from the beginning because unless, she likes you, unless it ends in little hearts floating in space, you will think that you have fail.
So it's time to change your paradigm of what a date is. A date is an exchange of two people trying to have a good time and get to know each other. So if you realize that she is a grotesque person inside, that is not your failure, it's hers. If you realize that she really, really doesn't like you, that is not your failure, its a realization and a win situation because you will not waste any more time with this woman.

So when you go out and date go out to have fun. Not HER have fun, but YOU. Yes, very selfish and self centered but you have to start with you. If you do not start with you, how in the hell are you going to be able to then give her a good time. What that means is that when you go out, you do not do it to validate yourself to this person. You do it so there's an equal sense of discovery for her and for you.

Realize also that there's nothing wrong with being a little greedy, nervous about going out on date. It's part of the fun, it's part of the anticipation.
 LexiInMDR
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 42
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The fear
Posted: 12/27/2015 5:37:36 PM
Not so much fear... more like feeling put off. Grrrrrr!
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