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 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 20
snogging in publicPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
^^^^^^ Damnfish so as long as you find them attractive its o.k for them to be all over each other. But if they are not attractive you rather not watch them lol.. Do you really think people do it for your benefit ? Do you think they even care about you watching them? I put a $1,000 on your 100 that you are not all that as you think you are.
Its amazing just how many people are full of them selves.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 21
snogging in public
Posted: 12/15/2015 11:50:34 AM

but I have noticed that in Spain or I guess other Mediterranean countries young couples snogging each other in public is quite a common sight.


Do you mean making out in public?

I personally love it. Interestingly enough, this seems to be rather cultural. The more north and puritan you go, the more that they feel disgusted by it. The more tropical, Caribbean, Mediterranean you go, the more that it's embraced. I find it fun to go to some beach place with cafes on the streets and couples having drinks outside, touching each other, moving their legs with quiet desire and their eyes set on each other. It's awesome to people watch. Make it even better if there's some guy playing the accordion, or some tango music in the background. Maybe some Gardel.

 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 22
snogging in public
Posted: 12/15/2015 6:32:10 PM
Inner Gorilla- The kind of subtle, but sexy display of affection you describe, I don't mind. ^^^^
It's difficult to say when it crosses the line, but it's one of those things that you know it when you see it.
When things get so steamy that someone is in someones lap, full on making out, hands under clothes, that's taking PDA too far and that when it's time for the couple to get a room, IMO.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 23
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 8:13:40 AM

hat's taking PDA too far and that when it's time for the couple to get a room, IMO.


Yeap. I have to agree with you there.

These days I guess you see that more at some night clubs, where they have bleachers, or more semi secluded areas, or even out in the open. One of the reasons why I find clubs so annoying. When you see it in a cafe, or some restaurant it's kind of classy, not grotesque.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 24
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 8:36:24 AM
There's no point in being jealous seeing other people do things you want to do. Here's a inside secret: you don't know the hell they are living. It may look one way in public, but you don't know what's really going on.

Some time ago, I was at a party with former co-workers, and I saw one of them (she's gorgeous, smart, really nice person, and religious) who was sitting next to me. We took a picture together, but I did not know that she was sending that picture to her boyfriend because he needed to see proof that she was with friends (and not out and about I guess). He observe that he sent her a text and she got tense. I asked her if everything was alright and she said that he is acting out and calling her names, and she seemed stressed out.

I am a no-nonsense kind of person, so I just went straight to the point and asked her "does he hit you?", and she lowered her head and answered "yes". This is a couple who always post pictures together, who always seem happy, she is always cheering for him, she is sexy as heck and post pictures of her outfits, her vacations, her job, etc. What's going in her pictures with him, with all she writes about him, is not the reality that she is living.

So the moral of the story is that there's no point in being jealous of anyone, as you don't know what's really going on with them, with their relationships, with how they feel about themselves, the reality of their jobs/careers, etc.

There's another friend of mine who has been in a relationship for about 6 years or more, going through her own hell. Some people stick to what they know, even when he doesn't make them happy. Their particular relationship is not abusive, but they have nothing in common, his life is going nowhere, and there's no future to speak of, no direction in which they are headed. She is just in it because she's afraid of the dating scene. To my knowledge, the sex isn't even satisfying.

So again...............................you cannot be guided by what you see, the reality may be way different.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 25
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 8:55:14 AM
that is an interesting take on things. It has an element of truth to it. I have an activitity buddy who's good looking, and went thru a near breakup this weekend past w/ her new bf, who she admits she has nothing in common with except liking to go out to drink (and I guess its true, she's calling me up every weekend to see if we two can do something). She might come off a little "Barbie", but I think anyone who takes a closer look might realize she's a bit more of a "hot mess". Another friend of mine, same deal--attractive, drives a convertible, can't pay the bills. Guess which two out of the three people notice?

back at university, I met a fellow who definitely sought out the negative in life. no surprise, his father used to beat anything within swinging range. The fellow ended up marrying someone he knew abused her daughter from another man. did it make him happy? no. but it made him comfortable. that part I can attest to, he grew up in that situation, he knew how to defuse it, it never occurred to him to not want to be in that situation. Far as I know, he stuck with her to have a son. He didn't feel a longing sense to be with someone else, apparently, b/c he could have divorced her. So, is it better to be comfortable than to long? Some of us perhaps would prefer to be alone than to be in a bad situation...but we don't want to be alone.

kind of reminds me of the rich kids back in school who would complain about all the fake friends their daddy's money would attract. of course, when I suggested they stop name dropping where they went on vacation and their house having a Jacuzzi and et cetera, they looked at me as if I lacked logic--they would far more enjoy the problems of being rich, than not have the benefits that came along. Fake drunk friends are apparently more tolerable than no one wanting to hang out with you when Daddy is willing to sponsor a party for you.

not that i'm putting down what was posted above. it reminds me of the saying, "normal looking people are those we just haven't gotten to know well enough yet". Everyone's had bad times, its how we learn to grow.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 26
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 9:07:03 AM

The fellow ended up marrying someone he knew abused her daughter from another man. did it make him happy?


Interestingly enough, we end up in relationships that reflect more often than not what we grew up with. We follow the same script to do one of two things. Correct what our parents did wrong (in our heads), continue to do the thinks that we felt comfortable with. So if a sense of family was to have screaming matches, then all relationships eventually will have the screaming matches because it's what seems to resolve their issues.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 27
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History
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 10:12:23 AM

When things get so steamy that someone is in someones lap, full on making out, hands under clothes, that's taking PDA too far and that when it's time for the couple to get a room, IMO.

I agree. A hand on the other's thigh a lot of the time, and little kisses once in a while in the realm of Expressed Affection is totally OK. Some people who are butt-hurt over relationships won't like it, but on the flip-side others will think it's positive & cute. There's a huge difference between that and drunken porno-kissing, hands up the other's shirt, or kissing up and down the neck, etc. That's when you say "Get a room," and they respond with "Who's going to hold the camera??"

There's no point in being jealous seeing other people do things you want to do. Here's a inside secret: you don't know the hell they are living.

I think people who are butt-hurt over relationships may feel relief when reminded of that. However, with some people (like the OP I'm assuming) it's different. It's not butt-hurt over happiness of a couple, but being Able to have that exchange so freely, period. A lack of affection/being-wanted in their lives. Obviously it's going to hit home when the gal involved is Attractive, as opposed to two very overweight 75 year olds doing their own role-play of a porno script.

When the guy isn't some hot stud, but the gal's at least pretty cute (and gender vice versa) -- one can look at it not as jealousy if you've been in an unwanted & prolonged affectionate-free zone... but as Motivation. "Note to self: If he can do it with that real cutie -- why can't I? It doesn't take some stud or a guy with roofies to have a real cute gal have the desire to be intimately engaged and not caring if people see."

Kind of like one time I could hear the hot gal who was in the building I lived in getting ball-banged, shortly before I left to go out to the bar. My hormones then soared, and I immediately went from lethargic mode to "target and conquer" mode when going out - lol.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 28
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 2:19:26 PM

Kind of like one time I could hear the hot gal who was in the building I lived in getting ball-banged, shortly before I left to go out to the bar. My hormones then soared, and I immediately went from lethargic mode to "target and conquer" mode when going out - lol.


And what made that possible for you? What changed in your psyche?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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History
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 4:25:38 PM

And what made that possible for you? What changed in your psyche?

What made my gear shift from lethargic to divide & conquer? Hearing her going "Fvck yes! Ooooh! AAAaaahh! Uggggh, yes, ahhh! ... Oh god, yes, more...!" That pretty much changed my psyche and gave me a rush. Not of jealousy in any classical sense, but more internal change to "do that same" for myself.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 30
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 5:52:08 PM
belleatlantic- I missed the part where the OP mentioned jealousy.
That is difficult for me to relate to.
There's not much use in being jealous over such a thing.
It just makes me uncomfortable, when it goes too far.
But you are VERY right that, in general, you never know what people's lives are like behind closed doors, which relates somewhat to what I was saying about not much going on in private with the heavy handed PDA, but you never really know.
Any way, being around people one step away from public 'ucking is just not a comfortable situation, for me, it kind of feels like being the third wheel, but taken up a notch or two. It's just awkward.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 31
snogging in public
Posted: 12/16/2015 8:46:33 PM

Hearing her going "Fvck yes! Ooooh! AAAaaahh! Uggggh, yes, ahhh! ... Oh god, yes, more...!"


I can relate to that.

One of the big mistakes that we guys make growing up is that old image that women are pure and that WE are the ones corrupting them. So when I realized that they too want you as much as you want them, it changes everything. The above worked for me as well. The moment I stopped feeling guilty for pursuing and accepting that they wanted it too, everything changed. Great point NG.
 beverduster
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 32
snoggin' on the noggin'
Posted: 12/17/2015 5:19:05 AM
whats snogging? a new venural disease?
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 33
snoggin' on the noggin'
Posted: 12/17/2015 6:51:00 AM

a new venural disease?


It's related to veneers. And it's proper application.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 34
snoggin' on the noggin'
Posted: 12/17/2015 7:03:12 AM
I'm usually so lost in my lil World I wouldn't notice if they were banging in the booth behind me.
I really like when I see elderly couples doing sweet PDAs.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 35
snogging in public
Posted: 12/17/2015 9:48:58 AM
I think it's romantic.

You just have to talk to more ladies - if you are busy with the ladies, you won't have time to be jealous!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 36
snogging in public
Posted: 12/17/2015 10:04:11 AM

The couple themselves of course are unlikely to care about what others are thinking or who sees nor should they, but for those who haven't had the luck I guess it can feel bad.


With this same mindset, people who have children should keep them locked inside, out of sight, so as not to make those who wish they had some feel bad. Everyone should drive a smoke spewing run down vehicle, so as not to make others who don't have something shiny and new...feel bad. No houses should be allowed either, so as to not make those who wish they had one...feel bad. You get the drift.

I have no problem with public displays of affection but, yes, there's a limit when you figure you're going to be witness to a porn show not of your choosing where more discretion needs to be shown by the love birds.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 37
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History
snogging in public
Posted: 12/17/2015 10:27:55 AM

One of the big mistakes that we guys make growing up is that old image that women are pure and that WE are the ones corrupting them.

Yes -- we begin being taught that in high school (even though girls mature earlier than boys)... re-iterated thru college years. And you'd think that exaggeration would shed later in life where one can't apply the "naive freshman" mantra anymore, but it doesn't all that much -- it's still applied as a default. I think it stems from fathers not wanting a boy in the neighborhood laying his paws on his young daughter when going out on a date -- and that being carried into adulthood, helped by women being pretty image-conscious + that age-old trend of guys not wanting girls who've been around the block (and shared by other gals sizing up other gals). So it ends up painting a skewed picture of what women want and how they really roll, due to social reasons & upbringing. So yes, when a guy realizes it's a different world, and most women don't want have sex for it's primary purpose being Affection and to please the guy, while secondarily they can feel (shhh - don't tell!) sexual stimulation only with a guy they love & adore -- a light bulb goes off. Kind of like realizing that Santa doesn't exist. Except it results in a smile not a frown. :)

The moment I stopped feeling guilty for pursuing and accepting that they wanted it too, everything changed.

Yep. And what I heard downstairs of that (good imaged) gal, was a reminder of that -- ringing in my ears. :)

I really like when I see elderly couples doing sweet PDAs.

Yes. It always makes me want to walk by and secretly drop a note to the elderly man with a couple Viagra that reads "Give her hell, sir! Break a hip!"
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 39
snogging in public
Posted: 12/18/2015 7:22:21 AM
Bama,

This is where I got it from:


This is quite normal of course but for those of us who haven't had much luck on the dating front it can be easy to feel jealous.


I've always been of the idea that when we don't like something, more than likely it is because we are jealous of it. Like when some slut-shame other women, there's some sort of veiled agony about not being able to be like them
(and not give a damn about shame, guilt, morals, what other people think, their family, etc.)
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