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 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 459
who paysPage 19 of 58    (18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58)
I don't like the sense of obligation I feel when she pays for the dinner.

Possibly I won't be able to meet or exceed her expectations...
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 460
who pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 11:01:50 AM
I think the horse is dead now, but what do I know.
Aside from that, I want, no, I demand to see the F'n "Dating Rules" book. I want it delivered to my door.
When I break rules, # 5,8,11,16, 24,53,101..................
Just WHO is going to arrest me? Who is going to file charges? Will I go to trial? IF found guilty, will I be imprisoned for life?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 461
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 11:36:18 AM

I think some women will only ask a man out when they think he would insist on paying. Thus these women could claim they would have offered to pay. Even though that may have been false.

Yup, there is that scenario. My point was what I chuckle about -- the belief some people have that the "inviter" always pays, when "inviter" is the one bringing up the suggestion (or flat out asking, in this case). Gals bring up to go out all the time, once guy & girl are past several dates and rolling well. There's no trend that gals pick up the whole bill or even motion to when that happens, is my point (hence, one can't hide behind the "inviter pays" theory). Karma knows that a vast majority of guys are going to motion to pay, and especially this guy. From her story, I believe it is true he'll motion to pay and wave her off if she tried, hence, he is more than 'offering', he's just doing it, no questions asked. Call me going out on a limb, but if he wasn't, she wouldn't feel quite the same way about him.

I don't like the sense of obligation I feel when she pays for the dinner.

Do you feel an obligation if you paid for the dinner, but she left the tip? Or how about if you got an expensive dinner, and she paid the bartender for a couple drinks as a nightcap? I certainly wouldn't, and I can't see how a guy (with decent esteem) would feel off put or obligated about that concept.

If I asked her out on the first dates, and in one she genuinely wanted to pay the whole dinner bill -- my first thoughts would be a lack of interest on her part. But if the interest was totally demonstrated during the date, I'd be perplexed if it was the first date. The only indirect "obligation" I'd feel would be to one-up her by a bit, to pay for a a bit nicer place the next time.

But if it wasn't the 1st date and I paid for the other several, where would any "obligation" come from? She wouldn't even be evening the score. I think a guy who likes the sense of indirect control would feel like he was losing a grip on obligations She'd have. Other than that, off the top of my head would either be feelings of low-self esteem by the guy if she was paying for the 4th date (when he paid for the 1st 3) -- or concerns about her financial situation if she was a gal living at or close to paycheck to paycheck and he wasn't.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 462
who pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 11:50:05 AM

I have a date tomorrow with my guy friend (who I wouldn't mind dating)...He's a great guy and I don't take that for granted. I love that he is a handsome, generous man who doesn't sweat a few bucks.


If you haven't dated him yet, how do you know he'll be generous and pay for everything on dates, and will continue to do so? Is providing you with free meals and entertainment every time the number one priority in deciding who you date? I guess personality comes in a distant second.
 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 463
who pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 11:55:22 AM
We can be sure he's not reading the forums.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 464
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 12:02:13 PM
I wish you guys would stop picking on her.

TvstinKarma: How old is he?
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 465
view profile
History
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 12:25:51 PM
I just went on two dates with two different girls in the last two days, first girl invited me out to dinner on a whim and we split the bill in half. Last night I made a suggestion to a different girl that we go to a lowkey restaurant/bar and eat there, again we paid for our own meals. I got laid both times in case anyone is wondering. Though I probably would have slept with both of them if we didn't go out but contrary to popular belief there are no unwritten rules. If you don't want to pay for the whole meal then don't pay, no one is forcing you to do anything. He or she will eventually have to pay, you're not really impressing a girl if you pay for everything while the gesture is nice I don't believe it's really improving your chances either.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 466
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 12:29:15 PM
^ Did you use condoms? Did you read the little instructional booklet? Check the expiry date? I hope you didn't open them with your teeth :S
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 467
view profile
History
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:11:12 PM
You mean those latex things shaped like a penis that cost 12 bucks for a box, and takes the feeling out and takes away most of the pleasurable sensation that also has the chance of killing an erection faster than gay porn then yes I wore a condom.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 468
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:23:03 PM
Saran Wrap only costs a couple of dollars a box, doesn't have an expiration date, and there's always a box in the kitchen.

Got that tip from The Happy Homemaker. Or maybe the Happy Hooker. Or maybe it was a drug induced hallucination.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 469
We all pay.
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:39:56 PM

yes I used a condom.


Sure ya did ;)


Saran Wrap only costs a couple of dollars a box, doesn't have an expiration date, and there's always a box in the kitchen.


Recycled newspaper is more environmentally friendly.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 470
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:42:27 PM

My point has always been, BOTH need to contribute to make a relationship work


No…your point has always been that you think money is the only thing that counts and if a woman doesn’t contribute money the way YOU think she should, she’s nothing but a prostitute.

Why do you assume that a man wouldn’t appreciate something meaningful from a woman OTHER than money? Why is that so difficult for you to grasp? Why are you so determined to ridicule and harass women who don’t behave the way YOU deem correct??

I bet your dates are real romantic. “Okay….I paid for the appetizers and drinks, you got dessert and tip, but there’s still a five dollar thirty-five cent discrepancy, so just hand me the cash. Now that’s taken care of give me half of what I paid for the box of condoms and my cab fare home after I fvck you and we’ll call it EQUAL.”

It’s hilarious how some envious azzes get so burned over the fact that there ARE men who don’t date with a calculator and coupons, or have to dig in the couch cushions to find enough change for a cup of coffee.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 471
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:52:09 PM

I think some women will only ask a man out when they think he would insist on paying. Thus these women could claim they would have offered to pay. Even though that may have been false.


Reminds of me of inviting a person to an event so that you can say you offered. When you don't want them to go are expecting them to decline.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 472
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 2:06:14 PM

I bet your dates are real romantic. “Okay….I paid for the appetizers and drinks, you got dessert and tip, but there’s still a five dollar thirty-five cent discrepancy, so just hand me the cash. Now that’s taken care of give me half of what I paid for the box of condoms and my cab fare home after I fvck you and we’ll call it EQUAL.”


I have been on plenty of dates when the women just paid the tip or dessert / drinks. I was fine with it because at least they were willing to pay for something. Certainly doesn't have to be 50/50.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 473
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 2:09:11 PM

You mean those latex things shaped like a penis that cost 12 bucks for a box, and takes the feeling out and takes away most of the pleasurable sensation that also has the chance of killing an erection faster than gay porn then yes I wore a condom.


How many condoms in a box. I can get 36 condoms for about $12.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 474
view profile
History
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 2:23:04 PM

No…your point has always been that you think money is the only thing that counts and if a woman doesn’t contribute money the way YOU think she should, she’s nothing but a prostitute.


Someone has to contribute money. Restaurants don't serve people for free.


Why do you assume that a man wouldn’t appreciate something meaningful from a woman OTHER than money? Why is that so difficult for you to grasp? Why are you so determined to ridicule and harass women who don’t behave the way YOU deem correct??

I bet your dates are real romantic. “Okay….I paid for the appetizers and drinks, you got dessert and tip, but there’s still a five dollar thirty-five cent discrepancy, so just hand me the cash. Now that’s taken care of give me half of what I paid for the box of condoms and my cab fare home after I fvck you and we’ll call it EQUAL.”

It’s hilarious how some envious azzes get so burned over the fact that there ARE men who don’t date with a calculator and coupons, or have to dig in the couch cushions to find enough change for a cup of coffee.


I'm assuming you think it would be acceptable for the man to contribute something "meaningful" other than money if the woman was the one opening her wallet. I don't understand why you need a man to pay for you. This whole thing about who pays has never been a problem for me. Sure, I've spotted a few gold diggers but I've never had a problem going for lunch or dinner with a woman and splitting the bill. It's kind of surprising how difficult this seems for people.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 475
he pays, right thru his...um, nose
Posted: 2/27/2016 3:18:50 PM
1)for the sake of trivia, dental dam makers used to claim that microwavable plastic wrap was to not be used b/c it was too porous to stop STD transfer. Contagious junction, what's your function....

2)congrats, Blackwood. lucky bastid.

3)I have two female friends who took me out this weekend for my b'day--in other words, they paid. I don't mind that they are attractive and pay for me, either. Who doesn't like a free lunch? Heck i'd love it if either one laid me like a goose egg, come to think of it.

4) there are other things to do on a date besides buy dinner. Sometimes, the best thing to spend is...time.

 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 476
view profile
History
he pays
Posted: 2/27/2016 4:23:02 PM

I got laid both times in case anyone is wondering. Though I probably would have slept with both of them if we didn't go out but contrary to popular belief there are no unwritten rules.. .... I don't believe it's really improving your chances either.

It depends on the demographic you're going out with, and how things unfold where "unwritten rules" may apply. It's not so much a Rule in many circumstances (unless one Asked to TAKE the other out) -- but a probability, as many do believe there are unwritten rules and have assumptions. What you describe wouldn't hurt chances much if it's college-oriented on the first few dates. And the first gal brought up going out, so that's certainly not an unwritten rule -- especially if she checked the bill when presented just as you did. But in standard not-so-casual dates of the standard variety, to increase your chances, IMO, a guy should pay the bill if she pretends the bill isn't there when presented or if she gives an offer to split that seems even possibly faux. If she's really ga-ga about the guy, especially if it's casual, and she works just as he does, it doesn't have to hurt the chances much at all, but I always err on the safe side if I like the gal. And I don't mean chances of getting laid per se -- but chances of keeping the level of comfort & attraction in the solid Positive realm.

No…your point has always been that you think money is the only thing that counts and if a woman doesn’t contribute money the way YOU think she should, she’s nothing but a prostitute.

IMO, if a gal feels Entitled to have everything she partakes in with a guy be 100% bought & paid for every time, when she's not asked to be taken out -- she's acting like an escort. It's all about their frame of mind. She'd be a like a prostitute if she had the frame of mind that the guy Is supposed to always 100% pay for everything to be in her company, and after several times, she'll have sexual relations as his reward. Not saying many people have this frame of mind, but just putting the prostitute POV into perspective is all.

A gal shouldn't get so hung up about money that when a guy doesn't ask to take her out, that she loses a large chunk of interest (if not all) if he motions they split the bill to some degree.

It’s hilarious how some envious azzes get so burned over the fact that there ARE men who don’t date with a calculator and coupons

Nothing wrong with coupons if he's paying the whole bill. Of course, like always motioning to split the bill, it's statistically not a good dating idea on the first couple dates. But let's be honest -- the controversy isn't about guys whipping out calculators & coupons or anything close to it. It's about, gals Wanting to contribute within their comfortable means. If that means cooking dinner for two on her dime & kitchen just as often as they go out for dinner that he pays - great. Nothing has to be close to exact, either. But the controversy is there mainly because a gal wants to be "taken care of" (paid for) as part of "social rules" -- and Does care a heck of a lot about the money on the table.
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 477
he pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 6:44:25 AM

I just went on two dates with two different girls in the last two days, first girl invited me out to dinner on a whim and we split the bill in half. Last night I made a suggestion to a different girl that we go to a lowkey restaurant/bar and eat there, again we paid for our own meals. I got laid both times in case anyone is wondering. Though I probably would have slept with both of them if we didn't go out but contrary to popular belief there are no unwritten rules. If you don't want to pay for the whole meal then don't pay, no one is forcing you to do anything. He or she will eventually have to pay, you're not really impressing a girl if you pay for everything while the gesture is nice I don't believe it's really improving your chances either.


Maybe our little ray of Sunshine and Thesaurus Eternity should read this...twice. If Blackwood is right, SOME women in America actually go on date. Pay half and get laid after...and no one put a gun to their head.

I really don't care what two people find that works for them. But I will continue calling out entitled princess that wouldn't lower themselves to haul out their wallet on occasion and pick up a meal. And honestly, it's the sense of entitlement and not so much the action. And don't ever whine about not being treated as an equal because you aren't.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 478
he pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 8:45:17 AM
In all honesty...who the hell cares or why does it bother 'you" so much...what a man/woman decides to do when dating.
There have been a few men that believe they are a gentleman and it doesn't bother them to pay for a womans meal.
Why do you not go after them for feeding these entitled women ?? Just doesn't make sense to me, other than some personal vendetta......fcs...let it go already!!!!

People do what they want...if it works for them or if it doesn't....it is so not my worry.
Not my monkey...not my circus.

As GTO pointed out in another thread.....people do things because they get an award/feeling from it.
It is far from getting old....the way you chase certain women continually bashing them.


Edit to below: Well that s.o.b. JK
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 479
he pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 8:57:15 AM
I went out with my guy friend last night. We had dinner then went and saw a movie. He paid for it all. For dinner, at the very least I told the waitress that I had a military ID and I got a discount. He was just laughing and told me to chill, he had enough money to pay for it even without a discount. Then at the movie theater, it turned out that the show was showing in IMax and the price was $35 for both of us. I thought it was outrageous and I told him I would pay for my part at the very least. He just looked at me like I had two heads and handed me two 20s, and told me "here , I'll let you pay". So there was that. Some guys WANT to pay, their budget is not blown by spending a hundred bucks for a night out.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 480
he pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 9:19:46 AM

............entitled princess that wouldn't lower themselves to haul out their wallet on occasion and pick up a meal. And honestly, it's the sense of entitlement and not so much the action. And don't ever whine about not being treated as an equal because you aren't.


LMAO, ? "Entitled princess"? Nope, this queen continues to say "Thank you" when he picks up the meal, she saves the king money, no more barber fees, and she makes the motel reservations, with her bank card, for overnight out of town stays, to visit family, or special occasions. Oh, and never a whine over EQUAL. I prefer Truvia.



People do what they want...if it works for them or if it doesn't....it is so not my worry.
Not my monkey...not my circus.


LOL ^ ^ ^ ^ Exactly!!!!!!

Edit to above, How dare he? LOL Way to go girl!
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 481
he pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 9:32:11 AM
^^^^. Aren't you in a long term relationship? Or living together? I think your princess days, if you even had them, are long gone. You appear to have a partnership. Awesome. And if recall, you and your guy always seemed to have a "partnership" dating style, free, easy, open.

The OP had a valid issue happening in post 1. I happen to agree with the original question of when will a woman pay. If YOU don't want to read my opinion, FFS...no one is holding a gun to your head. Go read Coma White or NG or Hawkings....they are far more insightful.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 482
he pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 9:38:45 AM

....Some guys WANT to pay, their budget is not blown by spending a hundred bucks for a night out.


Major difference between a man wanting to pay and a woman expecting a man to pay on every date. Which was the original point of the thread. I also found it interesting you got a discount because of a military ID. Yet when a man tries to use a coupon, he is labeled as being "cheap" and "tacky" by some women.
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 483
who pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 9:41:00 AM
LOL.!!
That was a bad example to back up " who pays".
Here is why:


I just went on two dates with two different girls in the last two days, first girl invited me out to dinner on a whim and we split the bill in half.......... Last night I made a suggestion to a different girl that we go to a lowkey restaurant/bar and eat there, again we paid for our own meals. ....I got laid both times in case anyone is wondering.


The behavior of both women and your behavior was not correct
These women seem to have
No class
Desperate
Lacked a bit of "gray matter."..:)
As we see, Nothing helped these two women by doing all of that to "WOW" him....Not even sex.....As he testifies, The FOLLOWING day he was with another STD.......I meant woman.
Who wants to be with that kind of men or women?... NONE are good for a LTR.



Though I probably would have slept with both of them if we didn't go out


C what I meant about these women.?


.twice. If xxxxx is right, SOME women in America actually go on date. Pay half and get laid after...and no one put a gun to their head.


Yep, these kind of people get the whole package, Pay half and get laid after and get STD's.
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