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 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 609
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Whatsamattababy....

I was reading about the mating rituals of sea horses. I love those little guys. They actually go around like they're holding hands (or little fin thingies). But when the babies are born, the male sea horses are outta there. On to a fresh young one, I reckon. Probably the mama got stretch marks.


Actually, the male sea horse carries the babies.
And, they mate for life

Mmmm, my kind of man.
LOL
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 610
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 9:28:02 AM
So now we are left wondering what she was really reading!
I want jellyfish. I really want them - tank expensive tho
Lots of animals mate for Life.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 611
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 10:05:40 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ ^Lots of animals mate for Life.

LOL Yes they do ouija. Not a wallet or purse insight!
No pockets, no hands! (Except for "Joeys" momma)
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 612
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 12:31:57 PM
I think all of us here have at one time promised to mate for life. Those that were married. I'm sure even in some live together relationships there was some sort of promise to love for life.

I had a pair of pigeons that roosted near my deck and one never returned one night last summer, you could see the sadness and hear it cooing late evening, almost a lament. It was actually very sad. But I'm a sucker for stuff like that.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 613
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 5:03:59 PM
Turns out some sea horses MAY mate for life, but check this out:

You may often hear it said that the seahorse will mate for life. However, many species are only going to keep a mate for one season. They are well known for switching mates often. They are often known to be in groups and to swap mates within the group. (seahorseworlds.com)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 614
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 5:08:59 PM
oh sure, try to save it now :/ I wonder who pays first sea horse date.
I thought they were well known for dying seconds after receiving them.. two words
Jelly Fish. Moon ones, I really do need them
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 615
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 5:11:58 PM
Well, I just hope jelly fish are better parents. Turns out both the male and female sea horse abandon their newborns, leading to a very high mortality rate :(
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 616
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 6:59:38 PM

Turns out both the male and female sea horse abandon their newborns, leading to a very high mortality rate :(


Better than eating their young, I guess.

As for not being thoroughly monogamous....
I thought he was a perfect mate mostly for carrying the kids!
LOL
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 617
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 7:15:05 PM
^ Firstly, if the young are going to die anyway, they should eat them rather than letting them go to waste. Secondly, it makes no sense for the males to carry the babies. How the hell would they feed the newborns (assuming they cared enough to want to)? I have never seen breasts on a male seahorse.

(I'm trying to argue like they do in Off Topic.)
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 618
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 7:20:12 PM
Baby, baby baby. You really need to step your game up if that's what you're going for.

I see no name calling in that post. You didn't go through the poster's profile and ridicule his or her profession. You didn't make reference to age/nationality/lack of pictures/go through the posting history to find anything you can bring up to make fun or discredit.

You're just not immature enough.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 619
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 7:25:35 PM

If you were to go on 50 dinner dates with a guy where he paid the whole bill every time, and on date 51, he mentions something about contributing to the bill, would you lose interest in him, find him suddenly unattractive, and stop all contact with him? Is there any time during dating, where a woman paying for something is not considered an insult to her womanhood?


50 dates? At that point, I would consider that a relationship. Once I'm in a relationship, things are different, but I recall that even my soon to be husband back in the day ALWAYS paid, even when we were engaged. I just hardly ever have men NOT pay when we're out. Same like opening car doors for me, holding door open for me, etc. It's just how it is for me.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 620
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 7:45:44 PM


...traditionally , the man is supposed to pay...


Traditionally, women weren't allowed to vote, own property in her name only, have an executive or any other good paying job, etc. How many of those traditions do women still support, because she wants to be traditional? The whole idea of men paying was because, way back when, it was only men who had money and women didn't. Most women back then aspired to be a housewife and stay-at-home mother who fully relied on her husband for financial security. It's not uncommon now for women to make as much or more than men, but a lot of women still use the "I'm traditional" label.


Yes, isn't it amusing and self-serving when people want to keep "traditions" that benefit them (like someone else paying for their meals) and change or eliminate "traditions" that are NOT beneficial, ( like lower pay for the same work).

Nothing new under the sun.

Note: I personally believe that everyone should be paid the same wages for the same work, regardless of gender, race, etc.

I also personally believe that some other adjustments in society's "traditions" need to be addressed.
 choppermonkie
Joined: 4/26/2014
Msg: 621
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 7:52:36 PM
The solution to who pays is frankly quite simple (especially early on in the dating game): Don't go on expensive dates!

Go for a stroll in the park/beach after hitting up that out of the way hipster organic coffee place. Go for a bike ride or check out a new hiking trail and bring a picnic lunch along. Couple drinks at a pub with live local music. Get a couple tickets to a local arts theater. Museums/art galleries/science exhibits. Bowling/billiards/ice skating. Farmer's markets. Do something you want to do and if she's bad company then you can still enjoy something new/fun. If she enjoys it too then bonus and off to date # 2! It's all about spending time together and getting to know each other. If she complains about how you're not spending money, she wasn't worth it and didn't want to spend quality time with you anyways (or you're simply not a match for each other), and you move on to the next one...
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 622
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 7:57:37 PM
You seriously compare being allowed to vote, own property, equal pay for equal work to how people act when they are dating? Really? Little hint - the former are HUMAN RIGHTS and also apply to minorities who did not have those rights until pretty recently. The latter are PERSONAL CHOICES, not human rights. If you don't want to pay for a woman's dinner,then don't. That is your personal right as it is her personal right to not be attracted to such behavior. Vice versa, it is your right to not date a woman who doesn't want to split the check. It's not that complicated. I"m attracted to tall, dark and yummy men who are not too cheap to buy me a cup of coffee - sue me.
 choppermonkie
Joined: 4/26/2014
Msg: 623
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:05:16 PM

All the male animals court the females some of them sing, dance, whistle, spread their wings, etc., But the SMART and ASTUTE ones, invent other things to win the love of the female.
The courtship is ALWAYS initiated by the male.
Sometimes the MALE competes with other males to gain the female.


The moral of this (fact)story is:

Even the animal females need to be courted..... before.......ANYTHING.!!!

______________________________________________________

Things are as they are and no one can change the inner nature of the female animal Or.....woman.!


Well...I think most humans would like to see themselves as more evolved and intelligent than the majority of the animal world, where the male species quite often do the bulk of the providing and protecting, and have numerous females they mate with. There are of course exceptions to all of this, but there are still general patterns. I suppose we could turn back the clock to 1916 or 1816 and the status that women had in those days, and relive the 'traditional' glory years...
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 624
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:08:21 PM
Some animals throw poop at each other. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to start doing it and justify it with the fact that some animals do it. Nor am I going to say something like "you can't change my nature" because I can't keep myself from throwing poop at people.


Traditionally, women weren't allowed to vote, own property in her name only, have an executive or any other good paying job, etc. How many of those traditions do women still support, because she wants to be traditional? The whole idea of men paying was because, way back when, it was only men who had money and women didn't. Most women back then aspired to be a housewife and stay-at-home mother who fully relied on her husband for financial security. It's not uncommon now for women to make as much or more than men, but a lot of women still use the "I'm traditional" label.

I'd allow a woman her prerogative to pursue life as she wants, and if these days a woman wants to be a housewife and stay-at-home mother who fully relied on her husband for financial security, that's fine...so the point here would really be that it's a bit mealy-mouthed if she uses 'traditional' or 'old fashioned' to describe how she does things if she does NOT want to be a dependent housewife yet still subscribes to the inapplicable and inappropriate 'traditional' or 'old fashioned' approach to dating. Do things however you want to - that's a person's prerogative - but when you hide it behind words which don't apply and you're being so inconsistent, like being traditional when you're not, that's one of the indicators of dishonesty and of something somewhere not jiving. Expect a man to TAKE you out and treat you if you want to think that's the norm...but don't call it traditional if you're not actually traditional.

it may be too early to say you possibly want a relationship when you haven't even had a 1st date with the gal yet

The issue here isn't 'does she already know that she wants a relationship with YOU', but it's 'is she someone who cares about such things and would she like to explore the possibility of having one with you by having a date and getting to know each other'.

what you say is assumed, but what's Also assumed is because of that, unless said otherwise, is you want to treat her to it. It's the asking out = asking to take her out. What I was saying was that in future generations, people may make that distinction

No. At the core of what we're discussing is that certain things shouldn't be assumed. And that's the problem. Some girls assume that I want to treat her, while I'm instead asking if she's interested in the way that I previously explained. But then, with me, that's solved by how I ask a woman out. According to how I ask her out, if she says yes but it isn't for the reasons that I've previously explained, then she's lying to me.

not making that distinction doesn't mean she has a different motivation or attitude about you

Yes, it does -

Well Sally, I'd like to get to know you better. How 'bout you like me take you out some time?"

I wouldn't approach it like that, and wouldn't word it that way.

You seriously compare being allowed to vote, own property, equal pay for equal work to how people act when they are dating?

When you're trying to use the adjective of 'traditional' when you're not...then yes, it's appropriate to make the comparison. That's what was being done here, nothing more.
 choppermonkie
Joined: 4/26/2014
Msg: 625
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:21:34 PM

You seriously compare being allowed to vote, own property, equal pay for equal work to how people act when they are dating? Really? Little hint - the former are HUMAN RIGHTS and also apply to minorities who did not have those rights until pretty recently.


Although I didn't make that comparison, I'll jump in...

I think equality is far more a matter of general respect, not simply legal rights written on a piece of paper for lawyers to argue over. A piece of paper is irrelevant if people don't believe in the general principle. When I go on a date I expect to be treated as a human being first, and not merely as a superficial demographic stereotype. Nowhere does any piece of paper say this, but it's a matter of general human decency. I think women would expect the same, and ethnic/cultural minorities would expect it as well. Yes, biology plays into it (I'm a man and she's a woman...), but at the end of the day we're still both people and should treat each other as such.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 626
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:35:34 PM
Let's cut to the chase. The bottom line is if you look like TrvstinKarma, you can have your cake and eat it too. It is what it is.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 627
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:47:43 PM

That poor word entitlement gets beat to the ground


Maybe so. But does the word "cheap". Latest example below.


I"m attracted to tall, dark and yummy men who are not too cheap to buy me a cup of coffee - sue me.



You seriously compare being allowed to vote, own property, equal pay for equal work to how people act when they are dating? Really? Little hint - the former are HUMAN RIGHTS and also apply to minorities who did not have those rights until pretty recently. The latter are PERSONAL CHOICES, not human rights


Expecting a man to pay is a traditional value. Just like a man being in charge of household decisions or woman being a housewife that cooks and cleans all day. In that case, it can apply.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 628
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:53:37 PM
I'm right there with yah Karma, I'm attracted to tall, dark and yummy men who are not too cheap to buy me a cup of coffee - sue me too! lol
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 629
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 8:56:26 PM

Let's cut to the chase. The bottom line is if you look like TrvstinKarma, you can have your cake and eat it too. It is what it is.

For me, the bottom line is if a woman chooses to do a certain way just because she can. That's among the kind of information about a woman that I'm after.
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 630
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 9:00:11 PM
^^^. Sex sells. Sex sells everything from chocolates to cars. And if you've got it, flaunt it. Sex sells. Sex pays the bills and sex gets you dinner and diamonds. And the thing is, it works for the plain Jane's to the Kardashians. The Kardashians may just get it a little quicker and more of it. People find each other. And Whatsamatterbaby, you are no different than Karma...you're both single and looking....note, SINGLE.

Not everyone looks like Brad and Angelina. Hell, Liz Taylor went through 7 or 8 husbands..gorgeous woman but a loser in love. Looks guarantee you .... nothing. Maybe a few extra meals and trinkets but attractive people are used, abused, cheated on and worse at about the same rate as the plain Janes.
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 631
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 9:09:15 PM

Msg: 639
Let's cut to the chase. The bottom line is if you look like TrvstinKarma, you can have your cake and eat it too. It is what it is.


Beauty doesn't last forever! People who are attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won't be by your side forever.

When a woman claims to have dated hundreds of men, they need to look themselves in the mirror and ask why they are still single. There's just something unappealing about a woman seeking meal tickets and justifying her actions.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 632
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/7/2016 10:57:20 PM

it's 'is she someone who cares about such things and would she like to explore the possibility of having one with you by having a date and getting to know each other'.

Exploring the possibility is closer -- but I would say it'd be more like "I Like you in-that-way". Not an assumption that if they click well with you and like you in that way they'll necessarily want to be BF/GF. People can be on the rebound, working too much for a good long while, moving away in 4 months, etc -- and aim to date-but-nothing-serious -- but 100% genuine dates with 100% genuineness about ya, because they like you in that way, but, not ready to be a bf/gf with anyone anytime in the near future. It's maybe splitting hairs, but one's not necessarily pulling a fast one on ya for a 1st date (="not that into you") if you then find out on that date or the next that they're not aiming to become bf/gf with anyone in the present time. But to the requirement that it'd be feasible to at least be seeing each other if (knock on wood) all went great? Sure, I think that's a line -- otherwise, they'd have to mention it as a warning when accepting.


what's Also assumed is because of that, unless said otherwise, is you want to treat her to it. It's the asking out = asking to take her out.
No. .... Some girls assume that I want to treat her, while I'm instead asking if she's interested in the way that I previously explained.

Interest level isn't the key concept on the asking out VS asking to take her out. If she's not interested, one's not going to want either scenario. Girls will assume you want to treat her if you're asking if she's interested in you, and interested in going out on a date, sure. You're being kind of vague...

But then, with me, that's solved by how I ask a woman out. According to how I ask her out, if she says yes but it isn't for the reasons that I've previously explained, then she's lying to me.

So give us an example of how you'd ask her out, if it's not along the lines of "Sally... Would you be up for going out some time?", as far as implications are concerned. She wouldn't be lying to you if she said yes but (hastily) assumed you were going to treat her. It turning her off wouldn't mean she didn't have initial interest in you. I agree that how you ask them out can help make a small difference or a huge difference. You could say "Sally, would you be up for going out and each chipping in for a mutual dinner at Applebees?" That would be clear. But not the best of moves.

So do you hold the belief that if you ask a gal out (without mentioning or motioning anything about who-pays) -- without asking to take her out, that most are going to assume it's splitting the bill? I don't believe that at all, but if you can provide an example of what's said without implying anything about who-pays, where most gals will pleasantly assume it will be a split-bill situation, I'd be genuinely interested in hearing it.
 homemakerwoman
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 633
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/8/2016 3:20:40 AM

I've taken a woman on ten dates over a period of five weeks. None of the dates were expensive ($20-$70) but she has never offered to chip in or pay. I brought this up after date ten and she took offense, said it was too soon for me to start complaining. My question: How many dates should a man pay for before the woman contributes? And when is it appropriate to bring it up? Thanks all.


She allowed you to be a man.
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